One of those big-bodied Garden Spider fucks. Have received a face-full of web at least three times in the past fortnight whilst in a rush and forgetting about it.
“Instead of being tucked under a stone or in a pile of wood, males are out wandering for females, and they sometimes come into our homes looking for mates,”
Great, so not only are they all spindly and terrifying they're also crazy horny and probably sporting some kind of hideous spider boner.
while I was on the ruddy john! After that I had to set my priorities straight. Speedy wees only, number twos at work, in and out the shower quick as possible, dry off in bedroom. Then a similar looking beast showed up in the kitchen the other day, I trapped it under a salad bowl (too much margin for error with a glass) and had my brother put it outside. Way outside, mind, over the road, on a plant. Thought I was safe, then at 11pm last night, during a power cut, I was brushing my teeth by candle light, when I saw the orrible beast crouching on the wall. Will my torture never end?
while I was on the ruddy john! After that I had to set my priorities straight. Speedy wees only, number twos at work, in and out the shower quick as possible, dry off in bedroom. Then a similar looking beast showed up in the kitchen the other day, I trapped it under a salad bowl (too much margin for error with a glass) and had my brother put it outside. Way outside, mind, over the road, on a plant. Thought I was safe, then at 11pm last night, during a power cut, I was brushing my teeth by candle light, when I saw the orrible beast crouching on the wall. Will my torture never end?
Best 6 quid I ever spent. Often was the time I'd get some big fuckers scrambling around in my house, and I wouldn't be able to sleep because of it, knowing they were there, watching, waiting. I don't have full-on arachnophobia, but when spiders start approaching anything above tiddly-size, I can't bear to go anywhere near them. That device I linked to solves that. You pick them up from arm's length, ditch them outside, and the bastards don't die in the process so that you're left with gooey spider guts.
Best 6 quid I ever spent. Often was the time I'd get some big fuckers scrambling around in my house, and I wouldn't be able to sleep because of it, knowing they were there, watching, waiting. I don't have full-on arachnophobia, but when spiders start approaching anything above tiddly-size, I can't bear to go anywhere near them. That device I linked to solves that. You pick them up from arm's length, ditch them outside, and the bastards don't die in the process so that you're left with gooey spider guts.
i'm not even gonna click on that gross spider promoting link, spiders are bastards and i'm probably gonna have nightmares about them just for opening this thread now :(
SWEET DREAMS
https://vine.co/v/OW7XjF2IQT3
that is seriously the worst thing I've ever seen, ever.
for the record
the spitting spider is my fave
There's fucking loads of spiders about at the moment
Shitting me right up
One built a web right across my front porch
like it was trying to trap me in my flat. Deeply sinister.
One builds a web across the entrance to my bike shed every single night.
One of those big-bodied Garden Spider fucks. Have received a face-full of web at least three times in the past fortnight whilst in a rush and forgetting about it.
:D
but also :O
...
“Instead of being tucked under a stone or in a pile of wood, males are out wandering for females, and they sometimes come into our homes looking for mates,”
Great, so not only are they all spindly and terrifying they're also crazy horny and probably sporting some kind of hideous spider boner.
I hate spiders.
just looking for friends though, don't be rude
One came at me in the bathroom about 2 weeks ago
while I was on the ruddy john! After that I had to set my priorities straight. Speedy wees only, number twos at work, in and out the shower quick as possible, dry off in bedroom. Then a similar looking beast showed up in the kitchen the other day, I trapped it under a salad bowl (too much margin for error with a glass) and had my brother put it outside. Way outside, mind, over the road, on a plant. Thought I was safe, then at 11pm last night, during a power cut, I was brushing my teeth by candle light, when I saw the orrible beast crouching on the wall. Will my torture never end?
One came at me in the bathroom about 2 weeks ago
while I was on the ruddy john! After that I had to set my priorities straight. Speedy wees only, number twos at work, in and out the shower quick as possible, dry off in bedroom. Then a similar looking beast showed up in the kitchen the other day, I trapped it under a salad bowl (too much margin for error with a glass) and had my brother put it outside. Way outside, mind, over the road, on a plant. Thought I was safe, then at 11pm last night, during a power cut, I was brushing my teeth by candle light, when I saw the orrible beast crouching on the wall. Will my torture never end?
burn your house down.
Get yourself the Spider Catcher y'all...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Brainstorm-B2001-Spider-Catcher/dp/B000X26IRE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1410953268&sr=8-1&keywords=spider+catcher
Best 6 quid I ever spent. Often was the time I'd get some big fuckers scrambling around in my house, and I wouldn't be able to sleep because of it, knowing they were there, watching, waiting. I don't have full-on arachnophobia, but when spiders start approaching anything above tiddly-size, I can't bear to go anywhere near them. That device I linked to solves that. You pick them up from arm's length, ditch them outside, and the bastards don't die in the process so that you're left with gooey spider guts.
Get yourself the Spider Catcher y'all...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Brainstorm-B2001-Spider-Catcher/dp/B000X26IRE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1410953268&sr=8-1&keywords=spider+catcher
Best 6 quid I ever spent. Often was the time I'd get some big fuckers scrambling around in my house, and I wouldn't be able to sleep because of it, knowing they were there, watching, waiting. I don't have full-on arachnophobia, but when spiders start approaching anything above tiddly-size, I can't bear to go anywhere near them. That device I linked to solves that. You pick them up from arm's length, ditch them outside, and the bastards don't die in the process so that you're left with gooey spider guts.
Yeah because the main concern in killing something
is the mess it'd make in being killed...
In my experience, people who are afraid of common house spiders
are almost always completely thick dullards...
that's a thick dullard thing to say, mate
sorry
You seem nice
fuck that shit
i'm not even gonna click on that gross spider promoting link, spiders are bastards and i'm probably gonna have nightmares about them just for opening this thread now :(
I love spiders
I will see if I can get one on my face for a photo tomorrow
they eat flies in the house.......thats a good thing
we can never be friends