• Sepp Blatter chucks City into their now annual stonker of a group. Liverpool get Real Madrid, Chelsea get a few ringers.
• Spurs advance to Thursday night, Channel 5 proper, but Europe is spared the indignity of Steve Bruce trundling around in his tracksuit like a dinnerlady during half term.
• That nutter who runs Leeds sacks David Hockaday (again?).
• Esteban Cambiasso signs for Leicester. Seriously.
• Various rumours start to circulate about people being shipped out of United., mostly central midfielders. Papers print the same stories they did about Vidal two months ago and see if anyone notices the difference.
• An England squad gets announced as a grim reminder to us all that all this fun won’t last.