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Stories of times you've been caught (or came close to) looking at porn

in_wainbows [Edit] [Delete] 56 replies 11:44, 27 August '14

Right now I'm in Starbucks on my laptop, I opened a new tab on Google Chrome and it had image links to all the porn sites I frequently visit. There are people sitting behind me and I'm worried they saw it :S Damn, forgot I wasn't on incognito...

And once my mum caught me looking at porn. Once she opened my bedroom door without knocking. Now she knows why I always tell her to 'knock first'...

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  • Was in the queue at starbucks

    thought i'd look at the internet on my phone went straight to the previous nights grot, people saw, not arsed. Everyone wanks

    safebruv | 27 Aug '14, 11:47 | X
    fappable this'd this
    • Yeah, people only laugh at how flustered people are

      If you don't react with panic, nobody will care.

      Pegfeet @safebruv | 27 Aug '14, 11:48 | X
    • (SAFEBRUV in the queue, checks phone. PERSON BEHIND notices)

      SAFEBRUV: (turning round) This was a classic video. She really got into the character

      PERSON BEHIND: Eh? It looks to me more like he got into -- Oh, I get you now

      SAFEBRUV: Tears in my eye

      PERSON BEHIND: But human beings have two -- Oh I get you now

      mute-branches @safebruv | 27 Aug '14, 21:34 | X
      • CARRY ON MAN: Ooh dear

        mute-branches @mute-branches | 27 Aug '14, 21:34 | X
  • bro do u even incognito

    alcxxk | 27 Aug '14, 11:49 | X
    japes, ma0sm, Dans, and Antelope this'd this
    • yes

      It just feels safer. I get paranoid because I'm always signed in with one of my emails/google plus accounts and cba to sign out, don't understand how google plus works, whether or not people on Facebook/Twitter/YouTube/email can see what I'm searching on google images... I know it sounds stupid.

      in_wainbows @alcxxk | 27 Aug '14, 15:31 | X
      • *on non-incognito

        in_wainbows @in_wainbows | 27 Aug '14, 15:33 | X
  • That sinking feeling

    when you've been so into a wank you've closed your eyes and you open them to a freshly-brewed coffee on the bedside table that wasn't there before

    DarkenYourDoor | 27 Aug '14, 11:53 | X
    in_wainbows and Konichiwa_Bitches this'd this
    • and your naked dad standing there wanking himself into a frenzy

      ma0sm @DarkenYourDoor | 27 Aug '14, 11:58 | X
    • jaw dropped at that

      fappable @DarkenYourDoor | 27 Aug '14, 12:05 | X
    • http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/cupoftea.asp

      ma0sm @DarkenYourDoor | 27 Aug '14, 12:10 | X
    • Can't say anything of that magnitude has ever happened to me

      usually it's just the case of wanking in the bed or on my computer chair, both which make creaky noises when I do so the person next door can surmise I'm having a tug.

      in_wainbows @DarkenYourDoor | 27 Aug '14, 12:15 | X
  • someone in work just saw me looking at this

    probably just long enough to see the word "porn" lol

    foppyish | 27 Aug '14, 12:01 | X
    in_wainbows this'd this
  • Once I saw a guy wanking to

    When Harry met sally.

    PinkyBrain | 27 Aug '14, 12:06 | X
    • the film or two friends of yours?

      ma0sm @PinkyBrain | 27 Aug '14, 12:10 | X
      • :D

        Severed799 @ma0sm | 27 Aug '14, 14:01 | X
      • dismal posting

        Loui_Tacceh @ma0sm | 27 Aug '14, 14:04 | X
        Royter-Hatfood, ma0sm, no-class, and monoshono this'd this
  • I've got a really embarrassing one for this. Probably a good 9/10.

    Might fire up one of the ol' alt accounts a bit later and post it.

    deadonthestairs | 27 Aug '14, 12:17 | X
    in_wainbows this'd this
    • mate everyone know's which ones are you anyway/

      moousee @deadonthestairs | 27 Aug '14, 13:03 | X
      • ^has still left the boards

        deadonthestairs @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 13:10 | X
        • IT WAS A COVER YOU MORON

          moousee @deadonthestairs | 27 Aug '14, 13:11 | X
  • let my mum have a go on my kindle fire.

    'How do you get the internet on this?'
    'Open Silk'
    'OK'
    Last tab I had opened pops up. Middle of a redtube video of a girl getting taken from behind in a cab.
    'These pop ups are so annoying aren't they, Nick?'
    'Er yeah'
    'Still the screen has a good resolution, eh'

    moousee | 27 Aug '14, 12:23 | X
    • Haha!

      When I was a teenager everyone used to talk redtube and I assumed it was one of those really dangerous sites that you just didn't go on. I used to think the same about all porn-stream sites, but redtube sticks out more for some reason. Still get a slight chill whenever tubepornstars takes me to a redtube vid.

      in_wainbows @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 12:34 | X
      • redtube videos are often so blurry

        I find it to be a last resort sort of a site

        inside-outside @in_wainbows | 27 Aug '14, 12:52 | X
        in_wainbows this'd this
        • aye

          keezmovies all the way!

          in_wainbows @inside-outside | 27 Aug '14, 15:18 | X
      • *about

        in_wainbows @in_wainbows | 27 Aug '14, 19:26 | X
    • she probably figured using Silk was punishment enough

      fidel_catstro @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 13:43 | X
      • zing

        moousee @fidel_catstro | 27 Aug '14, 13:56 | X
        • fucking seriously though

          I've got a fire and it's HORRIFIC, non?

          fidel_catstro @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 13:57 | X
          • yeah. Can you download other browsers for it?

            moousee @fidel_catstro | 27 Aug '14, 14:02 | X
            • you can get chrome if you fiddle it a bit.

              it's a bit of a ballache but not a Theo-level one, I think it was worth it. Easily google-able.

              fidel_catstro @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 14:04 | X
              • ah, I'll do that then.

                I use chrome on everything else and it's great.

                moousee @fidel_catstro | 27 Aug '14, 14:07 | X
            • Firefox works on a Kindle Fire

              RFWare @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 14:06 | X
  • worst for me

    I had just reached climax and had covered my belly in the juice when my mum entered the room.

    This was in the attic and you would open the door and then have to climb up the stairs to get into the room, so I knew I had about 5/6 seconds to cover up

    So I just put my tshirt on again over the top of it, not realising that the shirt would soak up the gunge - which it quickly did

    Thankfully my mum never said anything, presumably through embarrassment/shame, made her excuses and left.

    I thought I'd gotten away with it, cause it wasn't THAT obvious that I had just cummed all over myself and now it was seeping through my tshirt. But then I spotted the glistening lump of obviously cum on the chair arm

    inside-outside | 27 Aug '14, 12:51 | X
    • mum's must just laugh about it.

      They know kids do it. I know that any wife of mine would have to have a sense of humour about that kind of thing.q

      moousee @inside-outside | 27 Aug '14, 12:54 | X
      • about walking in on one of your kids covered in spunk?

        imagine getting angry about it though, that would be an uncomfortable conversation - "You've jizzed all down your new sweater - come on, come with me were going to scrub this right out - no, keep your pants down I want you to know you've been a bad boy"

        inside-outside @moousee | 27 Aug '14, 13:07 | X
        • I mean once they have left the room.

          Not in your face. LOL WANKING LOL.

          moousee @inside-outside | 27 Aug '14, 13:09 | X
        • sounds too much like a wank fantasy in itself to be effective tbh

          Parsefone @inside-outside | 28 Aug '14, 01:46 | X
    • good one, dots!

      sadpunk @inside-outside | 27 Aug '14, 13:06 | X
      Royter-Hatfood, Lucien, and no-class this'd this
      • :D

        deadonthestairs @sadpunk | 27 Aug '14, 13:11 | X
  • Once when I was freelancing

    I met the guy I was building a website for in a coffee shop and he opened up his browser to reveal the homepage of a "meet strangers for sex!" type website, covered in dirty pictures.

    I was really embarrassed to be sat there but he seemed completely not bothered. Weird.

    outspaced | 27 Aug '14, 13:07 | X
    • 'freelancing'

      moousee @outspaced | 27 Aug '14, 13:08 | X
    • how did you meet?

      ma0sm @outspaced | 27 Aug '14, 13:10 | X
  • Got caught once in university, on my birthday of all days

    Housemate burst in with some cards that had arrived for me all happy.
    And I just sort of jumped up and went "wahey!" as I covered myself up.
    Was very awkward but would've been worse had I been watching anything I guess.
    On a different note I used to steal that particular persons Yorkshire Tea all the fucking time. It's teabags they're fair game right? Or so I thought. How wrong I was.

    RFWare | 27 Aug '14, 13:31 | X
    • I've just realized none of this is relevant to the thread

      But it's all content guys, all content.

      RFWare @RFWare | 27 Aug '14, 13:31 | X
    • the teabag thing depends

      did you make tea with them or just cum on them? or both?

      inside-outside @RFWare | 27 Aug '14, 14:04 | X
    • your sad alone-time birthday wank makes me sad.

      Lucien @RFWare | 27 Aug '14, 14:25 | X
      monoshono this'd this
      • TBF I'd been up all night, it was more of a celebratory going to bed one

        But yeah I was single at the time and hadn't pulled or anything which is sad
        I wasn't always the complete stud muffin I am today
        Lol

        RFWare @Lucien | 27 Aug '14, 14:37 | X
        • at least you have your hip-hop career now

          ma0sm @RFWare | 27 Aug '14, 14:41 | X
          RFWare this'd this
      • Whats sad about a birthday wank?

        Truly the best present you can give yourself.

        furio @Lucien | 28 Aug '14, 00:16 | X
  • all of you that got caught did so

    because you either didn't lock a door, or wanked when you knew other people were in the house/flat

    you deserve everything you got. i don't even understand how your degree of fear of your own mother seeing your rock hard cock isn't severe enough that you can't just do it in the shower or lock a door or whatever.

    CrispinAlexander | 27 Aug '14, 21:31 | X
    • let he who has never had a wanking-related disaster cast the first stone

      http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4300364

      joeymahone @CrispinAlexander | 27 Aug '14, 23:57 | X
      CrispinAlexander this'd this
      • Oh so that's why RFWare thought I was CrispinAlexander

        http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4449468

        in_wainbows @joeymahone | 28 Aug '14, 00:11 | X
        • *TheWza

          similarly-named DiSers.

          in_wainbows @in_wainbows | 28 Aug '14, 00:12 | X
          • We're both awesome too

            RFWare @in_wainbows | 28 Aug '14, 00:21 | X
  • obligatory limmy clip

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKDyJQ2NgRg

    Icarus-Smicarus | 28 Aug '14, 02:13 | X
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