Boards
Stories of times you've been caught (or came close to) looking at porn
Right now I'm in Starbucks on my laptop, I opened a new tab on Google Chrome and it had image links to all the porn sites I frequently visit. There are people sitting behind me and I'm worried they saw it :S Damn, forgot I wasn't on incognito...
And once my mum caught me looking at porn. Once she opened my bedroom door without knocking. Now she knows why I always tell her to 'knock first'...
Was in the queue at starbucks
thought i'd look at the internet on my phone went straight to the previous nights grot, people saw, not arsed. Everyone wanks
Yeah, people only laugh at how flustered people are
If you don't react with panic, nobody will care.
(SAFEBRUV in the queue, checks phone. PERSON BEHIND notices)
SAFEBRUV: (turning round) This was a classic video. She really got into the character
PERSON BEHIND: Eh? It looks to me more like he got into -- Oh, I get you now
SAFEBRUV: Tears in my eye
PERSON BEHIND: But human beings have two -- Oh I get you now
CARRY ON MAN: Ooh dear
bro do u even incognito
yes
It just feels safer. I get paranoid because I'm always signed in with one of my emails/google plus accounts and cba to sign out, don't understand how google plus works, whether or not people on Facebook/Twitter/YouTube/email can see what I'm searching on google images... I know it sounds stupid.
*on non-incognito
That sinking feeling
when you've been so into a wank you've closed your eyes and you open them to a freshly-brewed coffee on the bedside table that wasn't there before
and your naked dad standing there wanking himself into a frenzy
jaw dropped at that
http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/cupoftea.asp
Can't say anything of that magnitude has ever happened to me
usually it's just the case of wanking in the bed or on my computer chair, both which make creaky noises when I do so the person next door can surmise I'm having a tug.
someone in work just saw me looking at this
probably just long enough to see the word "porn" lol
Once I saw a guy wanking to
When Harry met sally.
the film or two friends of yours?
:D
dismal posting
I've got a really embarrassing one for this. Probably a good 9/10.
Might fire up one of the ol' alt accounts a bit later and post it.
mate everyone know's which ones are you anyway/
^has still left the boards
IT WAS A COVER YOU MORON
let my mum have a go on my kindle fire.
'How do you get the internet on this?'
'Open Silk'
'OK'
Last tab I had opened pops up. Middle of a redtube video of a girl getting taken from behind in a cab.
'These pop ups are so annoying aren't they, Nick?'
'Er yeah'
'Still the screen has a good resolution, eh'
Haha!
When I was a teenager everyone used to talk redtube and I assumed it was one of those really dangerous sites that you just didn't go on. I used to think the same about all porn-stream sites, but redtube sticks out more for some reason. Still get a slight chill whenever tubepornstars takes me to a redtube vid.
redtube videos are often so blurry
I find it to be a last resort sort of a site
aye
keezmovies all the way!
*about
she probably figured using Silk was punishment enough
zing
fucking seriously though
I've got a fire and it's HORRIFIC, non?
yeah. Can you download other browsers for it?
you can get chrome if you fiddle it a bit.
it's a bit of a ballache but not a Theo-level one, I think it was worth it. Easily google-able.
ah, I'll do that then.
I use chrome on everything else and it's great.
Firefox works on a Kindle Fire
worst for me
I had just reached climax and had covered my belly in the juice when my mum entered the room.
This was in the attic and you would open the door and then have to climb up the stairs to get into the room, so I knew I had about 5/6 seconds to cover up
So I just put my tshirt on again over the top of it, not realising that the shirt would soak up the gunge - which it quickly did
Thankfully my mum never said anything, presumably through embarrassment/shame, made her excuses and left.
I thought I'd gotten away with it, cause it wasn't THAT obvious that I had just cummed all over myself and now it was seeping through my tshirt. But then I spotted the glistening lump of obviously cum on the chair arm
mum's must just laugh about it.
They know kids do it. I know that any wife of mine would have to have a sense of humour about that kind of thing.q
about walking in on one of your kids covered in spunk?
imagine getting angry about it though, that would be an uncomfortable conversation - "You've jizzed all down your new sweater - come on, come with me were going to scrub this right out - no, keep your pants down I want you to know you've been a bad boy"
I mean once they have left the room.
Not in your face. LOL WANKING LOL.
sounds too much like a wank fantasy in itself to be effective tbh
good one, dots!
:D
Once when I was freelancing
I met the guy I was building a website for in a coffee shop and he opened up his browser to reveal the homepage of a "meet strangers for sex!" type website, covered in dirty pictures.
I was really embarrassed to be sat there but he seemed completely not bothered. Weird.
'freelancing'
how did you meet?
Got caught once in university, on my birthday of all days
Housemate burst in with some cards that had arrived for me all happy.
And I just sort of jumped up and went "wahey!" as I covered myself up.
Was very awkward but would've been worse had I been watching anything I guess.
On a different note I used to steal that particular persons Yorkshire Tea all the fucking time. It's teabags they're fair game right? Or so I thought. How wrong I was.
I've just realized none of this is relevant to the thread
But it's all content guys, all content.
the teabag thing depends
did you make tea with them or just cum on them? or both?
your sad alone-time birthday wank makes me sad.
TBF I'd been up all night, it was more of a celebratory going to bed one
But yeah I was single at the time and hadn't pulled or anything which is sad
I wasn't always the complete stud muffin I am today
Lol
at least you have your hip-hop career now
Whats sad about a birthday wank?
Truly the best present you can give yourself.
all of you that got caught did so
because you either didn't lock a door, or wanked when you knew other people were in the house/flat
you deserve everything you got. i don't even understand how your degree of fear of your own mother seeing your rock hard cock isn't severe enough that you can't just do it in the shower or lock a door or whatever.
let he who has never had a wanking-related disaster cast the first stone
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4300364
Oh so that's why RFWare thought I was CrispinAlexander
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4449468
*TheWza
similarly-named DiSers.
We're both awesome too
obligatory limmy clip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKDyJQ2NgRg