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If you went back in time would you be able to convince anyone you were from the future?

sharp_yet_blunt [Edit] [Delete] 65 replies 14:50, 6 August '14

Say you were transported back to some random day in 1891 in your PJ's. How would you convince them you were from the future?

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  • Rap all of Express Yourself at them

    Balonz | 6 Aug '14, 14:51 | X
    ohgood this'd this
  • Sports almanac

    marckee | 6 Aug '14, 14:51 | X
    Verbal this'd this
    • Fuck!

      I've been marckee'd by marckee!

      This is really too much.

      thewarn @marckee | 6 Aug '14, 14:57 | X
  • tell them to test my dna

    Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 14:52 | X
  • Explain the passback rule to them.

    marckee | 6 Aug '14, 14:52 | X
  • Instantly die of smallpox/influenza/common cold/imperialism

    Royter-Hatfood | 6 Aug '14, 14:54 | X
    ohgood this'd this
  • I'd look up Ol' Ma Wilykit senior

    And show everyone the birthmark she's got below her left boob.

    Steved | 6 Aug '14, 14:55 | X
  • Probably invent a ton of stuff...

    ...that hadn't been invented by then like the lightbulb, telephone and internal combustion engine.

    Pentago | 6 Aug '14, 14:56 | X
    • Would be great if I could do that

      But truth be told I haven't got the first fucking clue how any of those things work.

      Steved @Pentago | 6 Aug '14, 14:57 | X
      • http://i.imgur.com/OuoUT.jpg

        just print that out

        japes @Steved | 6 Aug '14, 15:00 | X
      • Unfortunately I was joking...

        ...as those things had all already been invented by then. Would probably be able to kick off some penicillin research though.

        Pentago @Steved | 6 Aug '14, 15:03 | X
    • Thats my whole point

      "so there these amazing cars that can travel 100mph..."
      "can you make one?"
      "...no... but we have phones which can do all these amazing things like..."
      "can you show us how they work?"
      "...er..."

      sharp_yet_blunt @Pentago | 6 Aug '14, 15:05 | X
      badmanreturns this'd this
  • sporting almanac

    thewarn | 6 Aug '14, 14:57 | X
  • I'd say WAASSSSAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP

    like in those Budweiser adverts

    ma0sm | 6 Aug '14, 14:59 | X
  • i would predict the great war, titanic sinking, russian revolution

    and anglo irish war. Give them the dates and stuff and then i guess just wait around to be proved right. It's just a shame i cant think of anything that happened in 1891

    gonad | 6 Aug '14, 14:59 | X
    • That could work

      until people start believing you (or think you are some kind of psychic at least), then your predictions could end up influencing reality. Then it gets fucked up.

      steinbolt @gonad | 7 Aug '14, 08:29 | X
  • put every penny i own on an accumulator

    of porto to beat monaco in the champions league final and greece to win the euros in 2004.

    aggressively_passive | 6 Aug '14, 14:59 | X
    • didn't read the 1891 part

      invent and predict shit i guess

      aggressively_passive @aggressively_passive | 6 Aug '14, 15:02 | X
  • I'd make crude simple inventions of things I think I could make

    Eg Electric Guitar or the Toaster
    And then get the fuck out of Europe before WW1 starts

    RFWare | 6 Aug '14, 15:01 | X
    • WASHING MACHINE I'd do them one of those using a bin or something

      Fucking genius, then I'd bog off to America and have a fun time until the Wall Street Crash

      RFWare @RFWare | 6 Aug '14, 15:05 | X
  • I get them to test the stains on my pjs

    Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:02 | X
    • Think the Victorians already had jizz, flange junk, shit, piss, puke and mucus.

      Balonz @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:03 | X
      Royter-Hatfood this'd this
      • might have spilt some yop

        on there, or something else that hasn't been invented yet

        Elaina_Casoolare @Balonz | 6 Aug '14, 15:04 | X
        • I had a raspberry Yop on Monday. 50p from Tezzbags.

          Balonz @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:06 | X
          • they could test your poo

            and find loads of processed shit

            Elaina_Casoolare @Balonz | 6 Aug '14, 15:06 | X
            • You'd have to invent the testing apparatus first...

              Pentago @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:09 | X
              • they must have been able to test poo back then

                Elaina_Casoolare @Pentago | 6 Aug '14, 15:10 | X
                • our poo would be different to there poo

                  did they have magnifying glasses?

                  Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:11 | X
                  • They did

                    But then you'd have to invent poo studies...

                    Pentago @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:14 | X
                    • In the madness of king george

                      they check his poo, that was in the 18th century

                      Elaina_Casoolare @Pentago | 6 Aug '14, 15:17 | X
                      • 1994 I think

                        Balonz @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:24 | X
                        badmanreturns this'd this
                        • Do you know...

                          ...that they were originally going to call that film The Madness Of King George III but were worried that our American cousins would wonder where parts I and II were.

                          Pentago @Balonz | 6 Aug '14, 15:30 | X
                          • Yes Pentago, I had heard that before.

                            Balonz @Pentago | 6 Aug '14, 15:39 | X
                            • I hadn't

                              ma0sm @Balonz | 6 Aug '14, 16:01 | X
                  • *their

                    Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:14 | X
  • tadger length probably

    jacques_le_biscuit_ | 6 Aug '14, 15:03 | X
  • tell myself something only i would know

    then show myself my phone probably

    alcxxk | 6 Aug '14, 15:07 | X
    • managed to think this thread was about convincing a younger version of myself

      that i was from the future, in 1981, and that my younger self was in pjs

      alcxxk @alcxxk | 6 Aug '14, 15:08 | X
  • i would

    *drum roll*

    link them to this thread!!!!

    *crowd bursts into applause

    chris-budget | 6 Aug '14, 15:07 | X
  • my breast implants!

    Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:07 | X
    • I haven't got them yet but

      I will have by the time this happens

      Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:08 | X
      • how the fuck are you going to prove that?

        sounds p gruesome tbh

        fidel_catstro @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:12 | X
        • I'm sure I wouldn't die from them just having a look

          and sewing me back up, i'd rather that than be put in an asylum

          Elaina_Casoolare @fidel_catstro | 6 Aug '14, 15:14 | X
          • the twin explosions when they burned you at the stake would probably do it

            and might take a few of them out too.

            fidel_catstro @Elaina_Casoolare | 6 Aug '14, 15:15 | X
            • just looked upthread

              i'm not even engaging with the weirdest half of your posts, christ.

              fidel_catstro @fidel_catstro | 6 Aug '14, 15:16 | X
  • actually fuck all this

    i wouldn't convince anyone of anything. I'd spend everything i've got going to america and buying Coca-Cola and then watching the money pile up, then in 1903, use some of the money i've made to buy a majority stake in ford motor company.

    aggressively_passive | 6 Aug '14, 15:08 | X
    • exactly. why would you bother telling them you're from the future?

      japes @aggressively_passive | 6 Aug '14, 15:19 | X
      • I wouldn't bother saying either

        I'd probably steal loads of songs too, make my living as a mysterious troubadour singing 'The Best of the Beatles'
        People would think I was talking about my favourite insects or something! YESSSS

        RFWare @japes | 6 Aug '14, 15:23 | X
  • Probably look up some of the leading scientific figures of the day

    and reel off a bunch of my half-baked knowledge at them, then they could use their knowledge of current technology to prove all my theories correct. Also, I'd tell them about Pluto (trust me it's out there guys).

    I'd probably be burned as a witch. #yolo

    colonel_getafe | 6 Aug '14, 15:15 | X
  • I would ask to meet HG wells as I have some cracking ideas for him

    I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 6 Aug '14, 15:21 | X
  • show them my full set of healthy teeth

    show them my tattoo - tattoos were invented in the 1980s weren't they?
    cut open my ankle and show them the metal pin inside
    take out my contact lenses and show them those

    Fuzzy_Dunlop | 6 Aug '14, 15:24 | X
    • winner ^

      Elaina_Casoolare @Fuzzy_Dunlop | 6 Aug '14, 15:28 | X
  • pennicilin

    thats what.....but with strict instructions concerning misuse/use for commercial purposes.

    zepplins/jet engines/monoplanes (I can draw a pretty good spitfire etc)

    submarines powered by batteries

    etc etc

    I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 6 Aug '14, 15:25 | X
    • radar sonar applications

      astronomy and astrophysics

      I_AM_AN_ISLAND @I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 6 Aug '14, 15:25 | X
      • and pay a visit to einstein

        get hitler killed

        I_AM_AN_ISLAND @I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 6 Aug '14, 15:30 | X
        • * a kilt

          Balonz @I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 6 Aug '14, 15:51 | X
  • I'd go some time before March 8th and predict a "Great Blizzard"

    will run from 9th - 12th March. Or before February and predict it will be the driest month in England and Wales.

    One of those, or go to America and predict the deaths of 6 horses due to hail in South Dakota on July 5th (look it up).

    meths | 6 Aug '14, 15:25 | X
  • Predict the endings to as many Sherlock Holmes stories as I could remember

    before they were published.

    umlaut_ampersand | 6 Aug '14, 15:27 | X
    • I'd go a day earlier and predict Sherlock Holmes.

      meths @umlaut_ampersand | 6 Aug '14, 15:28 | X
      • No-one's gonna be that impressed

        The first Sherlock Holmes novel was in 1887.

        umlaut_ampersand @meths | 6 Aug '14, 15:31 | X
        • wait till I back it up with the hail/horses story.

          meths @umlaut_ampersand | 6 Aug '14, 16:03 | X
          ohgood this'd this
  • Tell people

    that in 10 years a little non-league side called Tottenham Hotspur will win the FA Cup.

    In the meantime, I'll start the world's first Cheeseburger restaurant and get filthy rich.

    We're stuck in the past right?

    eltham | 6 Aug '14, 15:33 | X
  • Actually, I'd probably just do this:

    http://www.videobash.com/video_show/terminator-2-hand-arm-39401

    marckee | 6 Aug '14, 15:43 | X
  • I would play the solo from Johnny B Goode.

    then go into some self indulgent 80s big hair wank solo at the end of it and tell them things about their kids tastes in music

    then I would ask for my £53

    ma0sm | 6 Aug '14, 16:04 | X
  • The problem is how the time travel would take place.

    Do you just arrive there with just the clothes you are in? As showing them your trainers and phone will probably do it. Are you provided a place to stay, some basic items to get you going? Otherwise you turn up there with nothing, end up being a mad tramp shouting at people saying you are from the future and even if you do predict the sinking of the Titanic and Queen Victoria's death, you will just be ignored.

    steinbolt | 7 Aug '14, 08:31 | X
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