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(we're terrible and going to finish 14th)
when you have no idea quite how shit your team are going to be.
New signings are exciting unknowns and not overpaid cloggers.
Match of the Day is watched until the end because you're so glad there's football again.
What a time to be alive.
QPR v Hull
Stoke v Aston Villa
West Brom v Sunderland
Good luck staying up for that.
first week you're willing and actively engaging in watching as much as possible cuz it's football and the first weekend often throws up some mad results.
After that, sure.
Them, Villa and Burnley down?
Looks kind of manky/unclean.
Seems like a League 1 type of kit, really.
but I can definitely see a Big-Sam-less West Ham and Villa going down (no goal scored; barely stayed up for last two years.)
I'd like Burnley to stay but I think they might not have enough grit to compete in the PL.
I like it. Apparently Argentina didn't score a goal in the World Cup either.
They scored one against Sydney and one against Wellington, and obviously seven penalties (which don't count.)
They haven't won in 90 mins this summer.
Why didn't you just West Ham have been shit all pre-season. That's an indisputable FACT.
(In a penalty shoot-out)
Plus four in other games. But then we've had back-to-back games twice with half the first team playing in one and half playing in the other with the rest of the team made up of reserves and youngsters.
The first XI hasn't actually played together once yet. Is this a new thing teams do or is it as crazy as it looks?
to convince myself that West Ham's disastrous-in-every-respect pre-season means we'll surprisingly have a decent year but I'm failing miserably at the moment. Pre-season results are meaningless but there is such an air of doom over everything about us at the moment. Some half-decent signings and the promise of "more attacking football" but you just know our front 1 and 1 against Tottenham is going to be Carlt'n'Kev.
HAPPY FOOTBALL EVERYONE!
as they buy a Mauritius international and a guy called Balint.
Might make a proper effort of pretending to support them this year. Go, tractor-men!
at least you're not Blackpool.
(Still no goalkeeper).
effing Newcastle for £3m?!!! Jeez.
Still, our new away shirt is really quite nice.
Fair enough if we are. Hopefully then can take us up this season. If not, then I wouldn't begrudge them the chance to step up.
£3m is a steal and though it's just sad to see their inevitable departure a season early.
There's no doubt that Lascelles will be a top end centre back. I've never seen him lose a header and physically he's awesome.
Darlow, is very good but I'm less fussed at his departure as we've got De Vries and Eftimov in reserve. Eftimov was said to be the more highly though of so it bodes well.
You've got a great freebie in Johnny Parr. I'm surprised we let him and Moxey go, considering we have no real recognised left backs at the club,
a bad Smiths tribute band
Really, really want psycho to succeed, but can't help but feel we're a carcrash waiting to happen.
Made some good signings, Psycho is home, our kits are beautiful. Footballs coming home!!!
will probably be bored of football after that.
- Unproven striker to score 10 goals in the first 4 matches, then 2 more until the end of the season.
- Some mid-table right back will start getting plaudits on DiS around 6 weeks in, this will be the first time you've ever seen his name mentioned anywhere despite watching MOTD attentively.
(not an early season purple patch but a new arrival one)
but Elano was a playmaker
TBH I'm more remember FF flashes in the pan.
we've had a huge turnover of players and a new/incomplete squad scrimped together on a smaller budget and despite that people expect clear progression from last season which is making me anxious. football misery is still better than no football though
First summer since in living memory where nobody has said that Spurs could win it. Not sure if this is a good or bad omen
Looking really sharp in the friendlies but they don't mean anything.
Still lacking enough strikers really for their annual excursions to the North Pole in the UEFA cup, but if they get Schneiderlin they could make the top four. Won't, but could.
because it's the first time in ages they've had no expectation of breaking the top four so he reckons coming 5th will be much more relaxing and enjoyable.
Some of those haircuts :D
Southgate looks like a ned (or chav).
And, as we all know, pre-season is definitely an extremely good indicator of how the season will progress.
Was how Giovani Dos Santos always saved his best form for pre-season.
but i think you can use it as an indicator of team morale and how they will gel. both seem to be much better than last year, and indeed most years.
theres no way Rooney won't get injured tonight though.
Obviously doesn't mean much at all but some of the interplay and understanding they seem to be developing is very promising indeed, they all seem to actually be trying to impress him as well.
Obviously expecting that to change once he's sat a few of them down and told them they're off but for now the mood seems very good.
Will be easy for the media to carry on their Van Gaal lovefest narrative. Can't wait for it to turn to shit by Christmas though.
Van Gaal types and Utd do typically start slowly, but 13/18 minimum should be achievable
You ask the club to sacrifice revenue you better get off to a flyer.
He's put the kibosh on it basically (for the start of the season at least)
that helps them win the Champions League.
is he confused or am i?
"Frank's a great player and any team will benefit from his experience," Nasri said. "We will particularly benefit from having him in the Champions League because that's where we need to improve this year.
"He's won it and I think he can help us. It's good that he's an English player too as we've had a little problem with that."
Think you're reading in far too much into what is a pretty generic comment about someone.
but pretty interesting http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/lionel-messi-is-impossible/
but glancing at the graphs it seems to be saying that Messi is by far and away the greatest player on earth and Ronaldo is one of a group of about 10 others who are about as good as each other.
so messi's just by far the most efficient player
Ronaldo is clearly 2nd in a lot of the graphs.
"31 percent of those swervy kicks score"
1) that decimal point's in the right place.
2) most Sunderlandy midfielder ever.
He probably will never recover.
we'll never know.
he looked good enough, but every time it looked like he was getting going he'd be struck down by another injury. Shame
who was going to get their 1 shot on target and winning goal against us this year. Nice of us to make it so predictable for them isn't it?
not 50m for Luiz good but still pretty tidy. Hamstrings sound royally fucked to the extent he changed car and moved closer to the ground to try and reduce the injuries he was getting.
Out of boredom today i looked at senior players we've actually made money on since the takeover. Could find four - Javi Garrido (+£750k), Adam Johnson (+£3m), Jerome Boateng (+£1.9m) and Vedran Corluka (+£1m). Read it and weep, Levy!
Fucking hell. Bring back Skrillex!
Lovely, probably get Warnock in before the season starts.
really looking forward to the game on Saturday. incredible how downhill the expectations of Forest fans have gone in the last week.
and Pearce doesn't exactly have a great record. Championship is so bonkers though it's hard to even predict mid-table because a brief slump or good run can completely change your season.
won by a couple goals, good performances from the ressies but poor enough in other areas to show LVG we need an extra signing at CB and CM.
bring on Vermaelen and James Mcarthy!
Do you think Vermaelen is better than what you have?
There is a good reason he hardly features for us.
don't think he is bad, would have him as a first choice back-up if he could stay fit, but like 4 of our first choice back 5 he can't.
his injury woes may mysteriously clear up.
Poor man's Phil Jones, though.
INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONS CUP WINNERS 2014!!!
pre-season went well, made some good signings but think we still need another striker and maybe a midfielder if/when forshaw goes. sometimes I feel all optimistic and think we'll do a Bournemouth and vaguely flirt with the playoffs, other times I reckon we'll fuck up and be down by march. would be happy if we stayed up though.
is good fun
Le Saux Solid Crew
Leeds, Forest, Blackpool will provide some sterling off-field entertainment this season. Almost making Blackburn look well-managed
You'll see *shakes fist*
assumed it was about histon
Liverpool fans should be worried, they looked fucking toothless
United fans should be cautiously encouraged although they did a lot of American esque running around kicking it rather than more considered football. The Mata deflection goal was funny.
"Suarez-less Liverpool lack bite"
But there was literally no spark from them in the last half hour, just rolled over. I realize no-one cared about this cup though.
after that goal-line technology fiasco.
I'm really looking forward to watching Carl Jenkinson play this season without the stress of him playing for a team I like. He's good fun.
Is he fun to watch on the bench too?
Well, we had those big red Citroen car seat type subs benches that he could be strapped into. I imagine he'll be able to cause all sorts of clumsy havoc on the battered, splintered wood of The Hammer Field.
In all seriousness though, he is shit.
General consensus amongst West Ham fans seems to be "good signing" but I can't understand why. Every time I've seen him play he's not only been shit but also always looked like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
DEMEL 4 LYFE
but in a funny way. always looks terrified.
Never really sure why Brentdan took against him so much, think Mign the Merciless is a decent keeper too but he seemed to be the answer to a problem that didn't exist.
big fan of rodgers' doling out of advice and warnings to van gaal on a seemingly daily basis, as if he's some naive graduate scheme idiot and rodgers is the king of amstrad.
Don't get me wrong, Rodgers showed surefire signs of being a mental quite early into his reign there, but last season, for a short while, he started coming across as a sage of a man who knew what he was doing, one unfortunate case of title heartbreak later and he's turned full-on Dalglish/drawbridge.
yep, he was still at chelsea.
he played 20 games in 8 years, had to be on 10k a week? i think reserve prem goalie is my ideal job.
Bet he didn't even own any gloves.
no wonder he's retired so early.
However, serious question folks:
If you were a football of Hilario's ability (i.e. capable, but not amongst the best), would you choose his path of lounging it around for £800k pa in the big leagues, or drop down the levels for a quarter of that, but the chance to make yourself a club legend and win *something* at some point?
Thought you had to make a minimum number of appearances to be able to say you won stuff. Or is just being in the Champions League squad enough to get you a medal?
It is for the Europa so assuming it is for the CL too. And he definitely got one for the Europa:
Just checked, and he sat on the bench once in the entire campaign.
I'm complaining to Wikipedia.
He's already got a pretty good clown name if he fancies going down that route.
robinson and cerny probs
got a single cap. in 2010.
Winning 3-0 that is. I'm almost glad nowhere is showing it and think I'll just write this year off already. (I said this last yuear and then we came back from behind to beat the goat massacrists and win, but still.....)
there'll probably be a european supershite league by then right? (scotland benelux, holland, scandis etc) with the big boys in the superleague i would imagine.
(nb i don't care)
but david cameron was willing to offer to pull strings for the old firm to jump straight into the english championship, so long as we don't vote for independence.
what a guy.
As much as I try and be enthusiastic about Celtic at the moment, it's hard to shake the sense of disillusionment.
It'd be like letting a man who fights children for a living have a shot at whichever belts Floyd Mayweather holds these days. Not a gratifying spectacle for anyone involved.
Kind of feel sorry for the fans too, winning the current SPL must be the hollowest of hollow victories.
would've been good if celtic applied to division 1.
It's depressing enough up here (football wise) without the added dread of no scottish teams in champions league.
Also celtic in the champions league is good for business :)
Forster definitely off to S'ton, Commons and Van Dijk are going too. fucking hell.
necessarily to southampton, I should say
it's probably a blessing we didn't get CL this year as any sort of decent group would've seen us getting slaughtered
that being said deila's in a precarious position at the minute, it's now likely commons, van dijk and forster will leave and he'll be given buttons if anything to replace them
I'm starting to really root for Blackpool - I think I started feeling really sorry for them about an hour after I put money on them being relegated.
when she was about 17/18. said Oyston was a right creepy nobhead, which isn't surprising tbh.
Remembered by Brits as an arrogant slaphead that favoured Man Utd
Presumably forever remembered by the rest of the world for not sending the whole of Holland off against Spain
He was a saint, a fucking saint.
mainly cause every player knew that he could probably deck them if he wanted
Behind Phil Dowd who's unimaginably incompetent and Clattenburg who just seems to hate football/ers
The Clatt reffed a Forest game and I was genuinely surprised at how good he was. Always up with play, good use of the advantage law. Awful hair.
You oilballers don't know how good you have it!
Nice guy, he used to ref the staff v 6th former games when he was in the 6th form himself.
Madley is shit.
And we had Clattenburg for QPR v Wigan - he was excellent - though I have no idea why he didn't send of Krancjar for about 4 really clumsy late tackles.
he's a great referee.
I just remember him being incredibly lenient towards Northern teams
Forest are in for Britt Assombalonga.
The fee? £5-8million
Faz uses FFP to justify selling Darlow and Lascelles and then spends all the bunse on a league one striker.
Is he good? We've alredy signed two decentish strikers over the summer.
which is great as we have enough people that can play out wide and we can bring in a goalscorer.
Oo oo oo, with Britt Assombalonga
We hardly knew ya.
Arsenal can get one of the following:
FC Copenhagen (unless Dnipro can come back from 2-0 down in these last twenty minutes)
Would rather avoid Bilbao but we should still be capable of beating them if it comes down to it.
despite their ridiculous 100% win rate.
Then again, if we sign the three attackers he's been on about, I reckon we could manage it.
We'd better hope Connor Wilkinson turns out to be the second coming.
think we've lost half our goals in the summer through transfers, loans expiring etc.
but it's ok, because we can just sign another ex-palace youth fullback. That will solve all our problems.
Does raise an interesting question about *ahem* wayward types becoming footballers and how much responsibility for them clubs should assume.
Keep getting interrupted by shitcunts so struggling to put this post together, but something along the lines of 'do mega oilball clubs with huge resources have an elevated duty of care to the teenagers they take under their wing?'
What a fucking bird brain. It's pretty clear by now he is never, ever going to realise his ridiculous potential.
step aside that Saudi Arabian geezer that scored in world cup 94 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id_hJSUhmpA
Iker Casillas looking shit and bored https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V84bHWJpptU
Howards Webb scoring a Panenka https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrijN3fEdko
US teenage football fan summing up Steven Gerrards England career. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS2QqSQbjOQ
Football dictionary: good fun!
I especially like:
He's got a big heart
He's got a small brain
Forcing a few corners near the end after 86 minutes of utter shite
A Wet Tuesday Night In [Insert Name Of Grim Northern/Midlands Town Here]
A wet Tuesday night in [Insert name of grim Northern/Midlands town here]. A setting exceeding even the Champions League final in significance and in its demands on a player's skill and mettle. An environment as toxic to the kind of effete, mercenarial, Fancy-Dan foreign footballer who has never even seen so much as a sliding tackle before as the atmosphere of Venus is to humanoid life.
I don't know what to say about this player, so I'll say he's got guile. No-one's going to admit they don't really know what I mean by that.
A quantity of eleven players, whose quality is unknown
But he's quite possibly the worst. Literally no positional awareness. Absolutely none.
Liverpool bidding for Falcao :)
Forest just signed the new Yeboah/Collymore. For £5m. From a League 1 team.
I'll be excited until 3:05 when Collins allows Miller to charge in and score.
Hmmm much as enjoyed him waddling around on the left wing last time, I'm not too sure it's a good idea. He does look quite walrus like and whiskery now though. I do do like walruses.
Great first line. Same the song falls down flat after that.
Also - Mauricio Isla! Means I can wear my Chile kit to the football. Lovely old job.
Young had been released, part timer
if he's over his injuries then he's a £50m player who every club would gladly sign. if he's not over his injuries then surely a year idling around in Ligue 1's the best way to get fit. either they sell him or they keep him, surely, can't see how a loan would even be considered.
hes close to signing for Madrid.
They'd have the potential to be greater than the original Galácticos.
i.e. more ostentatious than even a team with Zidane, Ronaldo, Figo, Beckham & Roberto Carlos.
Can't believe they could possibly sign another big name striker.
Whether it comes together or not Madrid are gonna be wicked to watch this season.
Can't be true. Can't be. Nowhere near as shit as people think, actually looked decent in his natural position, but didn't think he had any real market value. If we get £23m for him and Rodwell that's mental, would've taken £10m for the pair. Probably end up a loan deal.
any good? Not going to pretend i watch Spanish football other than Barca, Real and sometimes Atletico. All i could find was this
Quick, strong, reads the game well, good positioning, vocal, decent in the air, comfortable with the ball at his feet.
i predict a successful, macheda-esque future ahead
neither of them can do a proper thumbs up. Lazy bastards.
Seems to be taking the auld Charity Shield pretty seriously, the big man.
but still quite happy about it.
Warsaw must be fucking beelin
They got properly hammered as well
Absolutely fucking brilliant :D
Hilarious. Wonder what would have happened if the first leg had been 3-0 to Warsaw? Everyone back to Edinburgh for a penalty shoot out?
How dumb do clubs have to be to not know if a player is ineligible.
I think that's the only penalty shoot-out I've ever seen West Ham win. Or "win".
Cheers Samassi Abou
Still, gotta forgive ABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
Used to go down to the West Ham training ground loads when I was a kid and the two most memorable moments were John Hartson being a top bloke and always bibbing and waving to us even if it was well up the road from the training ground, the other was watching Rio and Abou doing mad keepy uppy skillz together for ages.
Then when players' watches were going missing from the changing rooms there were rumours someone had caught Abou at it. The security there was so laughable that me and my mates used to nick the players' boots and training gear out of the laundry room and wear them at school for PE. BUT NAH BLAME THE AFRICAN.
Id be embarrassed to be a Celtic player tbh
I won 40 quid.
Paddy Power can't have that back.
hope celtic lose every subsequent european game this season by at least 6 goals
It's absolutely by-the-book with precedent and everything. It's Legia Warsaw's fault for being fucking stupid with their admin.
"In 2010, Uefa fined Debrecen £15,000 but rejected a protest from opponents Litex Lovech, who wanted the Hungarian side kicked out of the tournament for fielding an ineligible player.
Debrecen argued that they fielded Peter Mate in good faith as a substitute in Bulgaria when they were leading 4-1 on aggregate.
Uefa ruled that Debrecen had "no interest in fielding this player for the three last minutes of additional time, when the score was so clearly in its favour"."
and a suspended player. There is room for leeway in the punishment for the former, but Legia are guilty of the latter.
I think we can all agree Celtic were victims of a grave injustice that had to be righted.
I'd have thought the former was more serious.
the toxic fog surrounding West Ham's pre-season may have lifted a touch. Nope, in for Peter Crouch. Shameful
Speshly with good old Ravel's antics.
You know your new-season optimism has hit rock bottom when the thing you're most looking forward to about the new season is the new purple, gold and black third kit that we'll never wear.
It's mostly to do with having to continually try to sum up the energy to post in argument or Balonz threads I guess.
How long until the International break?
I'll take that
With him and the £20m they spent on Jeremy Mathieu they're rivalling us for Europe's most expensively assembled mediocre defence.
who will be frantically checking their paperwork right now.
Looks like the bastard child of Arnie and Dr. Fuentes.
who the fuck have we got left in central defence as soon as someone gets injured?
there's a great related video of him continuing the promo onto a wacky Japanese talk show
'a ridiculous ass face tool that makes you look like you’re rimming a bird as it tries to fly away'
....they've lost both legs, had 4 shots on target, and have got away with murder
Any idea what sort of XI you might field on Sunday? Will those who played in the knockout stages of the World Cup get an extra week off as at City? Bit of a farce game, eh, but both teams fielding weakened teams might hopefully make it a better spectacle.
Think City might go something like...Caballero, Richards, Boyata, Nastasic, Clichy, Navas, Fernando, Toure, Milner, Dzeko, Jovetic
Arsenal, maybe...Szczesny, Debuchy, Miguel, Koscielny, Monreal, Flamini, Arteta, Chamberlain, Ramsey, Cazorla, Sanogo, Giroud?
Pointless post, really. 4-5.
He was always being linked with one Premiership club or another a couple of years ago wasn't he? All that seems to have gone a bit quiet now.
Cardiff are looking pretty decent from what I've seen of this game so far.
who will do nothing for you all game except smash one or two in. That and the 7 million Blackburn paid just to get him off Huddersfield is probably what's putting off the likes of Sunderland and Wham.
Although he did mug off Peter Whittingham to set up Blackburn's equaliser in this match to be fair to him.