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Wait what? No! What? Hang on a minute

zxcvbnm- [Edit] [Delete] 96 replies 09:19, 30 July '14

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28551069

Not really read anything properly but - what?

This isn't my main thread today.

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  • you get one, this is it

    ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 09:21 | X
  • fucking cool innit

    plasticniki | 30 Jul '14, 09:21 | X
    ma0sm, Antelope, marckee, and NickDS this'd this
    • Yeah

      But surely they mean some vague scifi date in the future that'll never happen. No earlier than 2020

      "Scientists reckon we could see these on our roads as early as 2030!!!"

      2015? What no! Shut UP.

      zxcvbnm- @plasticniki | 30 Jul '14, 09:23 | X
      • 2020 is only 6 years away!?????

        What???!!!

        zxcvbnm- @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 09:24 | X
        • Roads? Where we're going...

          ...actually we need roads for sure, really well marked out roads so the computer drivers don't get confused.

          TheoGB @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 09:25 | X
          badmanreturns this'd this
      • The distant future - the year 2000!!

        The distant future, the distant future.

        umlaut_ampersand @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 09:31 | X
        Antelope this'd this
  • seriously though

    can't wait for driverless cars to be commonplace, think it's a fucking incredible thing.

    My old boss used to use the concept of driverless cars as an interview question, essentially asking a series of questions trying to get the candidate to admit that some problems just aren't worth fixing if the cost/benefit isn't there. WHO'S WRONG NOW?

    ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 09:23 | X
    • I don't know.

      It seems like a crazy old man yelling at cloud sort of argument to me.

      TheoGB @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 09:26 | X
      • pretty much sums him up

        ma0sm @TheoGB | 30 Jul '14, 09:27 | X
  • I can't wait for the day when dirven cars are only allowed on private roads.

    Imagine being able to hop in your car and just have a kip, or read a book, or look at the scenery.

    marckee | 30 Jul '14, 09:36 | X
    • dirven?

      driven

      marckee @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 09:36 | X
      • APOLOGISE!

        TheoGB @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 09:42 | X
        ma0sm this'd this
    • You can do that

      It's called a taxi ride.

      Pegfeet @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 10:29 | X
    • you can do that already

      just dont drive anywhere

      inside-outside @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 12:50 | X
  • wasn't sure about this

    until I saw the tron-like blue glowing steering wheel, I'm all for it now.

    MarwoodW | 30 Jul '14, 09:38 | X
    foppyish and badmanreturns this'd this
    • the last thing you see is the flash of blue light

      as the google car plows into you and all of those you love, hell bent on destroying the human race in its sentient frenzy

      ma0sm @MarwoodW | 30 Jul '14, 09:40 | X
      • yeah

        but how cool will that look though!

        MarwoodW @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 09:42 | X
        ma0sm, badmanreturns, Antelope, and TheoGB this'd this
  • I've just booked some driving lessons too

    Feel like such an idiot.

    I'm only really interested in this if I can buy a robot butler to sit in the driving seat.

    colossalhorse | 30 Jul '14, 09:42 | X
    • haha you FUCKING MUG

      ma0sm @colossalhorse | 30 Jul '14, 09:43 | X
      • Science knocks me down, maosm kicks me in the head

        today is not a good day for colossalhorse

        colossalhorse @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 09:46 | X
  • do you remember the wee girl in inspector gadget

    penny was it? She used to run about with that book that was a computer, I remember thinking wow that is so cool and we have those already.

    foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 09:54 | X
    • maybe it was polly

      foppyish @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 10:00 | X
      • It was Penny

        marckee @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 10:02 | X
        NickDS this'd this
        • anyway

          the name's irrelevant

          foppyish @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 10:05 | X
          • APOLOGISE

            ma0sm @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 10:06 | X
            • I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO

              VERY VERY VERY VERY SO, REALLY I AM PLEASE BELIEVE ME

              foppyish @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 10:07 | X
              • HONESTLY SORRY

                VERY MUCH SO

                foppyish @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 10:07 | X
                • AROUSED?

                  ma0sm @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 10:08 | X
                  • for you, yes

                    foppyish @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 10:30 | X
  • This is cool but

    I really like driving. Not sure I'd want something else to be in charge of it. I'd probably be an awful back-seat driver the whole time.

    stupidsexyflanders | 30 Jul '14, 09:55 | X
    • SSF: "For fucks sake car, it's an open road, just go faster!"

      Car: "I'm afraid I can't do that Dave"
      SSF: "What? Who's Dave?"

      ma0sm @stupidsexyflanders | 30 Jul '14, 09:56 | X
      badmanreturns, TheoGB, and colonel_getafe this'd this
      • Dave, Leeds

        lemonbrickcombo @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 13:40 | X
  • I'm a bit concerned

    we can't seem to make an operating system that doesn't shit itself and die every now and again on a standard PC. When a brief freeze can cause a 20 car pile up...well, shit.

    "What's that tech support? Off and on again? Well I would but I'm in THE FUCKING RIVER."

    colossalhorse | 30 Jul '14, 10:02 | X
    • if every time your O/S froze someone died

      a lot more time and effort would be put into making sure that didn't happen

      ma0sm @colossalhorse | 30 Jul '14, 10:05 | X
    • Yeah and hackers and stuff

      ThingsThatFly @colossalhorse | 30 Jul '14, 10:06 | X
      • Have we seen that in a film yet?

        If only Tony Scott were still alive to make it happen.

        marckee @ThingsThatFly | 30 Jul '14, 10:09 | X
        • an episode of the Blacklist did something similar

          about a super brilliant criminal hacker, who hacked the CPU of a (non-driverless) car and made the airbags to go off, causing the car to crash.

          The INCREDIBLE twist, though — like fucking mind-blowing, would-never-have-guessed-it twist — was that the hacker turned out to be some genius high school kid with poor social skills!!!!

          robluvsnic @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 15:41 | X
  • this is all bollocks

    harru | 30 Jul '14, 10:03 | X
    badmanreturns this'd this
  • I actually totally agree with your reaction

    mine is the same.

    Its got to be bollocks hasn't it?

    I mean, we dont have pilotless planes.......oh wait, yes we do.

    Fuck! Im old.

    creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:07 | X
    • hang on.......I have a big question.......WHY?

      creakyknees @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:08 | X
      • here are a few reasons

        http://qz.com/138367/the-potential-benefits-of-driverless-cars-are-stunning/

        ma0sm @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:11 | X
        • wait a second

          that link indicates that the cars will not be driverless and they will require a human driver some of the time........so that means that humans WILL have to still learn to drive and then just use the driverless feature like a sort of super feature cruise control........so no drinking down the pub and no no needing to take a test.

          creakyknees @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 10:52 | X
          • yeah

            maybe one day it'll be 100% automated, but you need to learn to crawl before bowing down to our sentient masters who worship the chosen one (Herbie)

            ma0sm @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:57 | X
            • its a shame that the incentives to do this difficult stuff

              seem to be greater than to bring about a more reasonable sustainable living for the majority of humans........still it will distance some people even more from the poorer parts of the world, and that does seem to be the intent of the daemons that have us........pamper the soft ones till they are even more dependant and cannot possibly envisage living without it, no matter what horrors result elsewhere due to the 'great soft mechanism'

              creakyknees @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 11:04 | X
      • Remove human error and ego (speeding, agression, jumping lights) from driving.

        Manage traffic flows easier, responding to changing conditions, jams etc.
        Gives opportunities for companies to pay google so that your car drives past a certain billboard.

        marckee @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:12 | X
        ma0sm this'd this
        • would be good to go a pub miles away

          get smashed and just drive off

          harru @marckee | 30 Jul '14, 10:23 | X
          • that's a good point

            also would you need to have passed a driving test to use one? 15 year olds getting larruped and being driven around by robots is a future that interests me.

            jacques_le_biscuit_ @harru | 30 Jul '14, 10:27 | X
            ohgood and andyvine this'd this
          • Any street with a kebab shop on it

            will be blocked every night by queue of cars with people drunk and asleep in the back in them.

            colossalhorse @harru | 30 Jul '14, 10:48 | X
  • Also......if driverless technology is so close and imminant

    how come those tomtom type navigation direction things still can cope with all roads? If they cant even get that right (where humans have to sometimes ignore the navigation directions) surely that seems rather risky to go driverless?

    creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:54 | X
    • would still need manual intervention in earlier phases

      and as its popularity spreads, more changes could be made to existing traffic systems to make it easier, more dependable until the point where humanity are slaves to cars and it's pretty much planet of the apes where apes are cars hook hand car door

      ma0sm @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:59 | X
    • They can if you buy a really expensive one and update it

      Most of us are using cheap, shit versions of the technology. I don't think there'll be any cheap, shit driverless cars for a long time.

      Pegfeet @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 10:59 | X
    • Shit I bet they haven't thought about this.

      Back to square one, Google!

      eltham @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 11:01 | X
      ma0sm and Antelope this'd this
      • yes Im sure that they have

        but why dream such a crap self indulgent dream and aim for that, when you know only certain people will have it?

        Are we any closer to rolling out security and freedom from violent unecessary death to humans in some areas of the world? no, yet we invest in this, with the perpetual lie that tech advancement helps the whole world.

        The biggest crisis that humans face is that we are TOO good at developing tech, too good cos we have not developed our proficiency at deciding/choosing (communally) what tech would help the world most, not developed our politics/sociology enough so that we can role out benefits to the whole world more evenly........instead tech advancement keeps the advanced nations occupied/enthralled enough to ignore trying to improve our non tech progress.

        Our tech divides, not unifies (volkswagens (peoples wagons) were not for all people, only a certain community.....redefine some people as not people)

        creakyknees @eltham | 30 Jul '14, 11:12 | X
        harru this'd this
  • Bit O/T

    but this is my favourite BBC news headline today - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28526106

    BobRickerton | 30 Jul '14, 11:14 | X
    • i liked this one

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-28562796

      foppyish @BobRickerton | 30 Jul '14, 12:25 | X
      • This one's best:

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28541690

        umlaut_ampersand @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 12:28 | X
        • it's been a decent day for headlines so far

          foppyish @umlaut_ampersand | 30 Jul '14, 12:30 | X
        • I can't have my back door open.

          :)

          mumsnet @umlaut_ampersand | 30 Jul '14, 15:26 | X
        • Sharon Maxfield, of Icknield Green, said the intense pong almost made her "eyes bleed".

          ma0sm @umlaut_ampersand | 30 Jul '14, 15:28 | X
  • so

    how exactly will these 'future cars' be powered?

    its an awful lot of investment for something that cant be powered.

    or is it anticipated that only really rich important people will have these?

    I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 30 Jul '14, 12:24 | X
    • there'll be a fan on them

      that generates electricity to power the car as it's driving, obviously it'll need a battery to start up before it can generate enough power to keep the car going otherwise it'd be a ridiculous idea.

      foppyish @I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 30 Jul '14, 12:27 | X
      • The person being driven by the car

        will have to generate the power to operate it using a cycling machine located in the back of the car.

        Pegfeet @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 12:29 | X
        • :) that is a viable solution

          I_AM_AN_ISLAND @Pegfeet | 30 Jul '14, 12:34 | X
      • a fan? what is powering the fan?

        are you suggesting that the forward motion will spin the fan? in which case you have misunderstood my question, as I am questioning what will propel the car forward? the resource for powering cars forward is running out (petrol)

        If you are thinking biomass derivatives this is also problematic as there is already a great issue with agriculture producing this at the expense of some foodcrops.

        If you are thinking electrical powered cars, think again as this apparently causes enormous logistical headaches for electricity generation and distribution (also there is not necessarily enough for non car use) etc etc

        I_AM_AN_ISLAND @foppyish | 30 Jul '14, 12:33 | X
        • whoops sorry foppyish

          I did not detect the nuance of your post I have now :D

          I_AM_AN_ISLAND @I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 30 Jul '14, 12:35 | X
          • i did wonder briefly what was going on

            foppyish @I_AM_AN_ISLAND | 30 Jul '14, 12:36 | X
            japes this'd this
  • Why not spend all that effort on something not fraught with

    problems and which might actually do some good.

    Oh because it's cool.

    Shut up world.

    zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 13:06 | X
    creakyknees this'd this
    • I am 100% behind you on this

      creakyknees @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 13:35 | X
      • how does that make you feel?

        creakyknees @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 13:36 | X
        ma0sm, noise_ramones, badmanreturns, japes, and xylopwn this'd this
    • only things which have proven tangible benefits to be researched from now on!

      YOU HEAR THAT SCIENCE?

      ma0sm @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 13:39 | X
      • he didnt say that

        or imply that,

        also this is not about research science as much as technological investment which will then fund science to go to help towards solve a particular range of problems that are specific to a rather purile goal.

        There will never be enough excess funds to support all infinate possibilities of research.

        It would be interesting to see what would have happened if research into solutions for malaria had had similar funding and resources thrown at it compared with that for motor cars (or similar consumer products)

        Its a question of priorities

        creakyknees @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 13:49 | X
      • No that's a (usually) valid argument used in completely the wrong place

        This isn't some small piece of science which may be relevant to a larger problem. This is the full solution to a problem which doesn't actually exist.

        Many many valid smaller discoveries and technological advances are behind this project, I'll give you that, but this is an inappropriate application of those discoveries.

        Oh but it is cool huh! Fifth Element yeah!

        zxcvbnm- @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 15:07 | X
        • this may be mankind's single greatest achievement

          ma0sm @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 15:10 | X
          • no

            that would be when we finally fire a rocket at the moon and blow that cunt to pieces.

            zxcvbnm- @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 15:11 | X
            foppyish and ma0sm this'd this
            • but what about the waves

              and the surfers who surf on those waves?

              ma0sm @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 15:14 | X
              • and me, I love the moon

                I've only ever unselfconciously sung love poems to the moon

                creakyknees @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 16:28 | X
              • wind makes waves you bumhat

                the moon makes TIDES.

                The surfers will have more consistency as to where the wave will be.

                zxcvbnm- @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 17:00 | X
                badmanreturns this'd this
                • mate

                  pretty certain the waves are caused a combination of boats / submarines / sealife.

                  Source: science

                  ma0sm @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 17:16 | X
            • watch this you swine

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-uJz_4P4b8

              you may be familiar with some of the stuff earlier on, but I learnt something from the later bits

              creakyknees @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 16:33 | X
        • wait — are you putting forward a reasoned argument?

          robluvsnic @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 15:44 | X
        • a problem that doesnt exist

          cos road safety is a non-issue

          alcxxk @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 15:47 | X
          ma0sm and colonel_getafe this'd this
          • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_causes_of_death_by_rate

            ma0sm @alcxxk | 30 Jul '14, 16:09 | X
            • yep so second biggest non medical killer after war

              spose google could try and fix war

              alcxxk @ma0sm | 30 Jul '14, 16:15 | X
              • Something about low-riders

                lemonbrickcombo @alcxxk | 30 Jul '14, 16:22 | X
  • terrifying

    fuckyeahdubstep | 30 Jul '14, 13:45 | X
    badmanreturns this'd this
  • the positives to autodriving cars are so vast

    - safe driving always
    - no speeding
    - no red light jumping
    - economical driving built in by cars that talk to each other
    - shorter gaps between cars means higher capacity roads
    - removes the worst part of driving; human error
    - means you can eat a 99 cone in the front seat whilst on the A515

    justanothersheeldz | 30 Jul '14, 16:49 | X
    ma0sm this'd this
    • and all this by 2015?

      zxcvbnm- @justanothersheeldz | 30 Jul '14, 16:50 | X
      • Sure, why not.

        justanothersheeldz @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 16:55 | X
      • he forgot to mention the ability of the smart cars to detect potholes and take the

        optimum swerving route to cause minimal damage.......or maybe they will have introduced the 'self pothole filling road' by then. A perfect match for the new optimism powered smart cars.

        creakyknees @zxcvbnm- | 30 Jul '14, 16:56 | X
  • will these new smart cars recognise when they have been broken into by a thief

    and lock the doors and take them straight to chokey?

    creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 16:57 | X
    • Also, when zxcvbnm and creaky try to drop slabs from bridges onto smart cars

      will the cars then exit the motorways next exit and race to intercept the villains

      creakyknees @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 16:59 | X
      • probably not

        alcxxk @creakyknees | 30 Jul '14, 17:00 | X
  • I, for one, welcome our new automotive overlords.

    badmanreturns | 30 Jul '14, 17:01 | X
    ma0sm this'd this
  • I wonder if they'll show you constant adverts

    as the car drives towards a cliff...

    sean | 30 Jul '14, 18:00 | X
    • customers who drove off cliffs also bought:

      parachute ★★★★☆
      lifejacket ★★★☆☆
      signal flare ★★☆☆☆

      japes @sean | 30 Jul '14, 18:04 | X
      • 3G signal extender ★★★★☆

        sean @japes | 30 Jul '14, 18:10 | X
        japes this'd this
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