Thanks to maths being hard, I walked out of Halfords last night having paid £170 for a bike that was advertised as £270 (minus a 10% discount). Obviously since I'm Scottish I had to leave sharpish before the fact that I'd jizzed in my pants from being given free money gave me away.
(Also, that saying about never forgetting how to ride a bike is bollocks. I nearly wrapped the fucking thing round a bollard on the ride home. Twice.)