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in real life social situations, that is.
drop the articles from sentences
Sarah-y, Davey, Andy-y! Then hand them all a bottle of WKD, which you should carry at least 10 of at all times.
0 to Sir Banthony Hopkins in no time.
"fucking hell you've got ugly lips", then put your hands on their shoulder, laugh really loudly in their face and then shout "only shitting you mate".
(actually spotted this t-shirt this weekend)
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...floor!" - ✓
"If found please return to pub" - ✓
"Read this while I stare at your tits (arranged like an eye chart" - ✓
"FBI (Female Body Inspector) - ✓✓✓
I would definitely buy it.
but also has this one...
don't appear to be female at all!
Very disappointing. Still let them touch me up though.
v THE LEGEND
why do people wear these?
"I have the body of a god, SHAME IT'S BUDDHA." Hahahaha
...wearing this one of a Saturday lunchtime:
He was with a woman I assumed to be his girlfriend. I think it's the only time that I felt as though I should be having words with someone about their other half's attire.
MASTURBATION IS NOT A CRIME t-shirts about 10 years ago.
Erm, no-one said it was...?
Wait for the other person to feel a bit awkward and initiate the conversation. As soon as they start speaking kick them sharply on the back of the leg behind the knee. As they fall to the floor shout as loud as you can REFEREE. You have now earnt their respect.
for e.g once a load of us were out in the pub and I like to have a bit of a social smoke when I drink but my bf hates it and always nags me about it.
I sneaked out with Maggie, and we were lighting up and next thing I see my bf had sat on the seat by the window and he's looking out at me shaking his head looking really disappointed. So I'm starting to give this 'fuck off nagging' face and that would upset him as he thinks he's looking out for my health and it would definitely have turned into an argument, but then Maggie starts pulling loads of fags out the box and goes, 'here lets put like 5 in our mouth and light them and wind him up' and we start going hahahahahah with the a load of fags in our fingers and he just starts laughing. She just diffused the situation with banter which I would never have thought to do because I'm more uptight.
Netanyahu, take note.
He's hardly gonna give your mate a bollocking is he.
Just go "WHEEEEEEEEEEY!" and encourage others to do the same. #banter
In there with selfie and onsie.
We just need revolt and reclaim it from the grasps of Lad Culture.
and some bants about getting the brits involved in WWII
you youtube link posting cunt but it is so I won't.
for thick blokes trying to have a conversation
it's being reclaimed.
outside peacocks in porthcawl earlier this summer.
his t-shirt read "it won't suck it's self"
he is, and always shall remain, banter.
he wears that t-shirt on the advice of his therapist after being plagued for years by nightmares that his cock would start sucking itself. Can you imagine the horror? Poor guy. He wears it to remind himself when the fear hits him. If you'd have moved closer you'd have heard him muttering to himself, "it's ok Dave. Deep breaths. Now repeat after me: it won't suck it's self. It won't suck it's self."
for me to come in on a high horse and tell you all the only reason you don't like 'banter' is because you're all lonely virgins, jealous of people who can socialise better than you? Got to be about time.
just didn't have the heart to elaborate on my lack of social skills.
Pastiche sublaw 329.