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Film the whole fucking thing with their phone.
for some reason the hand-holding makes it ten times worse
Talk during bands.
Spill drinks everywhere.
it's all tablets now.
also - even with cameras, take picture after picture using their flash, producing shit image after shit image, never stopping despite checking the screen each time and clearly being able to see they're just producing indistinct blurs.
- stupid group of screaming girls pushing into the smallest gap in front of you about 5min into the actual gig.
- Tallest person in the room pushing to stand in front of you so you see his stupid back the whole time.
- People throwing half a pint of beer over the crowd
it's not our fault
Please see opening point of: Getting in early enough to secure a space near the front...and the tallest person in the room PUSHING to stand in front of you.
And as they started these geezers (mid 40s) in West Ham shirts started lobbing pints everywhere.
As I was thinking "Man I'd like to lob a pint at them" I turned round to see my friend Robyn was very slowly pouring a pint over one of their heads.
She turned round and said "We need to leave" I was like "Yes"
Saw about a minute of the band. Money well spent
I don't like it when bands tell me to do stuff, like put up my hands or clap or that. nah, no thanks pal.
pantomime encores are really annoying as well. "oh, they've not played their biggest song, wonder if they'll come back out?" fuck off
there was someone at the last xiu xiu gig I went to who took a photo every 5 seconds with some kind of blinding flash, I've never hated someone as much, surprised the band didn't tell them to stop but someone in the audience did thankfully
took up so much space. kept changing lenses between songs and took some pictures on his iphone (also using the flash) and edited them for his twitter. his girlfriend looked so bored and as if he'd dragged her along so he could take the photos (more than likely true).
and then getting the hump when you start blowing hotly on their neck to entertain yourself
I'm on about MASSIVE ones where the person who's wearing it hasn't bothered to put it on the floor between their legs / in the cloakroom so when they move it digs into you.
not automatically throwing every drink to hand at said girlfriend on shoulders
people who try and engage the band with banter, rarely works normally pretty awkward
must be fucking horrible. wtf is with that!?!
has happened so many times. I went to see Violent Femmes a couple of weeks ago and a guy fully grabbed my tits.
But I quite respected the singer here:
This has happened so many times crowd surfing, especially when i was younger.
It was horrible.
it might have been me. soz.
the first gig i went to without my parents (i was 12) was awful for this. i stood at the back/side (lol backside) 95% of the time after that.
i'd been assaulted before, but never felt so helpless. luckily my friend who was a bit of an older sister to me saw what was happening and shouted 'why didn't you say anything? these lads are fucking cunts' and, alongside battering them away from her, stood behind me for the rest of the night <33333
I'll try to really ostentatiously put my hands behind my back or in my pockets to try and make them feel safer but then I'm so awkward anyway I'm like oh god do they think I am a weirdo and playing a long game or something. i dunno. I try
so your knobs closer. I know your game pal
who on her asking for requests shouted "show us your tits"
if I'd been able to see who shouted, that *would* have been the first fight of my adult life, no matter how pathetic/hilarious it would most assuredly have been. fucking hell.
I was near the front and I remember people at the back being really fucking annoying with their talking and their yammering. Didn't realise anyone had shouted that. I like to think I would have helped you (would have been equally hilarious but maybe one of us could have rugby tackled the guy and held him down while the other one ineffectually punched him).
Once had a very angry rant/breakdown about this at like 2am at an ATP
"Oh wait, this isn't a joke people actually do it?????"
Just trying to imagine people chanting MIDDLESEX! MIDDLESEX! at a gig in London
Stop it. I do try to stand out of the way to a side or something, but if my mates want to be near the front I'm not going to stand miles away from them and have less fun as a result. Also, I try and slouch as much as possible to be as not in the way as I can, which does horrible things to my lower back. Summary: stop being all affronted just because I've had the nerve to come to your precious gig and am not 5'6".
when they see me being all tall and being more there for The National
but there is also being spacially aware. The amount of times I've been trod on by someone much taller than me, because they're trying to squeeze into the front and then instead of realising that they've literally climbed ontop of me to get to this prime spot, they stand and ignore the fact that I am face deep into the small of their back.
not sure the being tall part is the problem there.
I applaud you
If an average height person plonks themself in front of me, my view is restricted.
As valenci says, it's just about being a dick.
If you get there on time, it's fine. But if you try and make your way after everyone has worked out a good position for themselves, you're going to piss someone off.
just set your stall early innit, get a spot and don't move right in front of me as soon as the first song starts.
I am very short (5'2") and at a lot of venues I can't see anything. I don't mind, but what I hate is people pushing past me and standing in front of me. If I stand behind a tall person, people stop trying to get between me and them. Whereas if I stand behind short people, everyone else sees it as a path of least resistance and there's constantly people walking in front of me.
What's the point of you ACTUALLY being there if you're just going to talk through the entire set.
See also: people making out like it's their bedroom and we're all rudely interrupting.
and has happened a few times.
Someone intimates they want to get past you, start to move, realise they can see perfectly if they stand in front of your face, and so just turn completely blocking you and standing on top of your feet
people have tried this trick with me before.
soon move them along though.
that is the worst when you kind of lean back to let them through then they stop, leaving me with not enough space to even remain balanced
I kind needed the loo and they contorted me into a shape which made that need exceptionally painful;
this is the very worst. like you shift to make way for them and they just fill the space? yeah I wasn't just offering up my spot, cunt.
I just start falling forwards/fake dancing. They soon move on.
Instead I just stare at them and make myself as big as possible. Dickheads.
not too sure if they'll be *that* busy.
Fully expect to be proven wrong here, but thought the Hyde Park shows last year were (mostly) full of good eggs.
I don't think people do it anymore, but Jesus Christ...
the horse on the stick at atp. that's the only thing i don't miss about atp weekenders.
the back half of every london venue. LOUD COKEY BANTZ.
who the fuck does coke at a Beirut gig, in full view of everyone?
Loud cokey bantz indeed.
Just looking at this get's me riled, 'yeah talk all the way through Sleep and take selfies' utter untz
illogical rage having seen that pic.
in pushing through the crowd just as the gig is starting.
People who claim that their friend is in front of you so want to push past. I'm a big fan of tapping the guy on the shoulder and asking if they know the person in question, and seeing their baffled look.
Why are they still relevant?
It's so embarrassing when the band goes off stage and wait in the wings to come back on to perform again. Just play the set and leave.
You should take a leaf from their book (except the sex pests)
It seems like the sex pests are having a great time.
(all the pages are stuck together anyway)
sorry, was being silly
or with no care for others.
pretty much everything. The barge to the front once the gig starts/once they play the big hit is the most common and irritating, probably. If you're that big a fan, turn up on time, dipshit.
Yup, if you brought a backpack, you should be obliged to spend the £2 on coat check.
Anyone yelling anything ever. It's never the spontaneous, joyful outburst you want everyone else to think it is. It's a desperate ploy to be noticed by total strangers, it's weird and it's lame. And the halfhearted "whooo"ers who seem to make their home at instrumental shows can all cock off too. Just because nobody is singing, doesn't mean you are needed to fill in the gap. You know, the lame little "whooo" from some goober that accompanies the widdly bit in the post-rock song when they're building up to 'inspirational climax number 7'. Awful.
Guys starting moshpits at gigs which really, really didn't need a moshpit. It shows a lack of imagination, like the only two ways to react to music are standing still or sloppily flinging yourself in to people in a way you dimly remember from that Korn video. I totally get why At The Drive-In got so pissy about it now.
i'm a whoooer
but after each song -
a nice bit
but during is pretty inexcusable
what a dick
is a big YEAAAHHHH
and if i really really liked the song it's apparently a YEEEEAAAAH -WOOO-WOOOOOH
my fiancee can now tell how much i've enjoyed a show by the number of the latter i offer.
never, ever during the song.
i always hold my hands up and out to mogwai though, as if they shall deliver me unto the sky. they will one day.
during a Explosions In The Sky show, the first time I ever got to see them, when it sounded like some kind of insane aviary. There were about 15 insatiable whoooers dotted about, all on different schedules, all whoooing every increase in volume for every song. Specific, but infuriating nonetheless.
everyone gets their camping chairs in position on Friday morning and leaves their copy of the Guardian by it for the whole weekend so there's no pushing in, no noise from anywhere but the stage, and if you don't like one of the songs you can just read the paper so as not to cause a disturbance.
and have come to terms with it. Embraced, it, even. Fun people are shit.
when the compere came out and said loads of people were trying to get into the back of the tent, did people want to stand up and come forwards to make room. He was met with a thousand death stares, before people went back to their papers and continued their silent, seated wait.
just because they want to hear their own voice piss me off, especially those who do it just before the song breaks.
Also people who want to be the last one to shout something out. Shut up.
can you read their minds?
It's a gift.
What a bunch of skinny afro-clad hot men playing good music.
but assume its the one where they throw a chair at robbie williams :D
pretty sure after one of the other songs it cuts to robbie who is just :-O
I really don't like being in crowds, and the generation coming up underneath us are unfathomably rude
Every generation always says this. You just didn't notice/have forgotten how rude your generation was at the same age. Gigs have been teeming with cunts for at least as long as I've been going to them.
Actually feels like a bit of a let down compared to some of my finer work
A girl will be standing against the barrier and her boyfriend will put his hands on the barrier on either side of her and stiffen his arms so as to form some kind of protective forcefield. The girl will then squirm/dance awkwardly in the minute bit of free space this has afforded her.
Similarly, girls who go down the front at a 'metal' show and get really pissy and shout at people (usually fat sweaty men) who are moshing and bumping into them.
havent seen in a while since I retired to the middle/back of venues
but in the middle of the gig, with the dude generally giving evils out to anyone that comes within a few metres of them. grr
but that might be because my girlfriend is very short and likes to stand on the barrier and has been punched and shoved by aggressive blokes lots of times.
You're not an arm-ring-protector are you?!
but I can understand why some couples do.
the absolute worst people I have seen at a gig, well festival, was at green man a couple of years ago. A group of people dressed up as fox hunters, foxes and dogs, running around pretending to be hunting the whole weekend.
Might sound a bit odd, but when you're behind them and can see over their shoulder, leaning into talk to the person next to them, or shifting noticeable from one side to the other really gets frustrating.
Move your head forward and back: fine. Side to side? Dick.
next time i'm at a gig you're at i'm gonna go full D-Lo Brown
people get there nice and early and stand near the front, fine. But that doesn't entitle you to that space forever. I just barge them back. Gigs would be bloody boring if everyone stood in nice neat little rows and never moved.
i.e. non metal/noise/ANGRY music shows are the worst for people throwing tantrums over this.
I swear metal shows are the least aggro ones I've been to, purely because people generally know what to expect, and don't mind a stray beer/bumping/moshpit in their vicinity.
Of course people aren't expecting to be able to stay where they are for a metal gig, but it's perfectly understandable to be hacked off when someone comes barging past at a gig where no one's going to be jumping around and stuff.
It isn't a place at a bar or a queue, it is an area where you can stand. If space is tight and someone wants to get past, they might need to barge a bit. I just see it as something that has always happened and always will happen, no point getting annoyed by it or people will always be miserable at gigs.
I tend to go to angry loud shows and I am a 6 foot tall bloke so little annoys me, if I have to move back to avoid a circle pit then I will. I can see how it may be annoying for someone half my size who just wants to enjoy Radiohead or someone and a load of brash dickheads come barging through and ruin their view and space.
without sinking your shoulder into my lower back making me spill half my pint
none of this shit at them
The most notable being Radiohead in a fuckoff massive Roman amphitheatre in Nimes, where you'd expect it to be full of absolute bellends but everyone was lovely, no barging, no talking, everyone respected your space. Was a very good experience.
thats exactly what i'd expect.
Generally I just assume the bigger the venue the more bellendy the crowd will be...?
This has completely done me for some reason
I can't find the exact capacity but it's something like 17,000? Prime bellend territory, surely?
Get tens of thousands of people in the same place - some of them will do things that fuck you off/that are rude. It happens.
However - 2 exceptions to this:
- People who piss in bottles and then throw them. Die, and die slowly
- People who don't watch the bands but take photos/videos of themselves and their friends for the entire duration of gig. More irritating than anything.
at Glastonbury at the weekend
Went up to Leeds with my sister from Manchester uni to see The Cribs. We were having a great time catching up and enjoyed the support, until the band finally took to the stage and some utter cunt launched a steaming cup of piss which landed in her hair. Ruined the evening for us. What an absolute fucking piece of shit.
Happens *very* occasionally but MY WORD you're a giant bellend.
although it is pretty great that if you go a stoner rock gig, there will always be at least one person lighting a joint. that always makes me smile
RIGHT at the front but don't move at all, and then give you evils when you accidently barge in to them.
Surely if you want to stand still you can do that further back?
If you're the only person jumping around, or you're surrounded by people who are at the front because they're short and it's the only place they can see the stage from, and they've got there very early and have found a position from which they can actually see the performers, I don't think it's unreasonable to be a little hacked off when someone bashes into them spilling beer everywhere.
How much I fucking love gigs. Gigs and beer.
And i always get to gigs late, wearing my fucking huge backpack and proceed to barge my way to the front, whilst holding hands with 10 of my friends till we find a spot in front of shorter people and stand there.
Then i talk all the way through the gig whilst filming the entirety of it on my iPad so i can watch what i missed due to talking later.
The only time i lower my iPad is to drink my pint, often i won't finish it and throw it forward or backwards, on occasion i've been known to piss into a empty pint cup as i cannot be fucked moving since i barged all the way to the front, and then i'll throw my piss filled cup forwards or backwards.
Fuck the lot of ye's
Last one I went to was Melt Banana, and while they were phenomenally good all I could think was "they've oversold this, haven't they? I wish my arms weren't pinned to my side and that person in front would stop elbowing me in the cock" and I didn't even stay to the end.
Although on the plus side it meant they weren't contributing to me being elbowed in the cock, so fair enough.
when someone that you are with who is standing in front of you keeps turning round to say something to you, make a joke or whatever, but they don't lean in close enough and/or speak loud enough so you have to keep leaning in and asking them to say it again. there, that annoys me. ok?
you've all got problems.
just walk FFS!
and sit on it while watching the band. not just bicycles, sometimes motorbikes as well. not so bad when they take their helmet off, but leaving it on implies they know what they're doing is rank and they don't want to be identified but just carry on anyway.
I DJed there once and their sound limiter was so strict the ambient chat of the customers kept tripping it, how did you lads get away with it?
and may have been before the limiter was put in place. I seem to remember it being one of the first 'gigs' there.
it was pretty quiet if I recall, but with the mask and stuff I can't really hear (or see) anything anyway.
The 'real' Cementimental wasn't even there - Tunde and I fraudulently borrowed his name to get the gig. I think it was a DiSer that put it on?! Theo was there (he filmed it), but I can't remember who the promoter was.
this can't be a thing surely?
that people do at gigs is CONSTANTLY go to the wrong gigs. stop making coldplay the biggest band in the world you boring jerks
when you bought yours for full price
can't I just to be a miserable fuck without someone trying to interrupt me?
he used to be at everything i went to!
he pissed me off cos he just wouldn't stop bouncing his curly blonde locks and they kept going in my mouth
Ruins gigs for me. Yet people see him as a 'legend'.
He was just the tall bloke at the front who jumped around to every single band ever in the Bristol area. Then years later apparently he is now a legend called Big Jeff. Gets in for free most of the time apparantly...
and if you can read that article and still be annoyed at him enjoying himself i'd be surprised.
i'm always happy to see him at a show.
From a purely selfish point of view he's a brilliant person to have as an early fan of your band, he'll come to pretty much all your gigs and make sure the crowd don't stand 15ft from the stage. He's always fun to talk to too.
I will have nothing said against Big Jeff.
of all DiS threads on this topic will run longer than the bible
there's this bloke who thinks it's funny to shout YEAHHHHH after every song
i know two people who were there, one who took a shot. Yeah.
When he was telling the story about him and Melvin see the gangsters take the girl downstairs screaming.....fuck me :(
Completely unprecedented show, and it's never been anything like that since.
I still sort of hope it was some insane performance art and not just a breakdown.
one of the pics in that article is fairly NSFW.
(also, googled the thread title. man he was prolific)
and not long after she started I could hear a shaker noise behind me so I turned around and could see a guy enthusiastically shaking what I assumed was one of those egg shaker things. It was so annoying and also out of time. He did it for the whole gig, at times very enthusiastically. At the end of the gig, I turned around to get a good look at him and he had a pair of miniature maracas which he delicately placed in the inside pocket of his jacket. Very odd.
But anyone who feels the need to make a gig all about them whether its taking too many photos of the band, taking selfies, chatting loads, playing mini maracas or shit heckling. Lots of other people have paid to enjoy it, stop being so selfish you shitheads.
Why on earth would you do that?
that is absolutely outstanding
anyone who makes a gig more about their enjoyment than general enjoyment is a tosser. Pretty much applies to most public gatherings, I guess.
I was completely baffled by it and once I'd heard it I couldn't unhear it. I wish I'd asked him to stop but I wimped out.
it just baffles me why as it would be unviewable. What is more annoying is when that crappy footage is posted to youtube, so when you try and find live videos of bands you get 30 crappy fuzzy distorted versions for every decently shot video.
Oh well, I guess they really want to see the band. Let it go. Wait a minute, why are three of them pushing back into me? And why is the fourth person now going in front of them? And why is he getting his camera out? I see. Still, they'll only do it once during the whole set, right?