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after he went to smell a casserole that had come straight out of the oven and rested his chin on the pot.
people probably won't believe half of them, though, so what's the point in divulging?
under the title "mad axeman of langley" after he tried to resist arrest by waving an axe about.
that ones good too
at the height of the cold war, cause he lived near the east/west divide and his neighbours saw him tunneling under the back garden to his shed. They worried he might be a soviet spy so a load of police came round and that. turned out he was annoyed at the beer prices going up at his local so he was turning his shed into a pub, and had to tunnel under his garden to store the barrels
for Red Star Belgrade
and drive a Mitsubishi Zero
she loves it up the bum
Turned up some news stories about relatives who are in jail for some terror-related things in Northern Ireland, and some weird shenanigans in connection with that.
Which was a bit of a surprise.
garnering absolutely no interest from anyone whatsoever, but my Great, great Uncle died on the Captain Scott expedition and another one tried to overthrow a South American country a bit
The Captain Scott exhibition is so cool!
I will not be revealing the identity of the South American country in spite of the numerous PMs about it from numerous users who are really interested. I'm sorry.
Your uncle's not Mark Thatcher is he
into exploring every inch of your mum
He's a scientist (retired now) whose work has been all about the effects of extreme climate on human physiology. Been to the Antarctic a bunch of times, has a few landmarks named after him. Has great stories & photos of polar exploration in the 1960s.
Also: Paris Hilton owes my niece $600
most famous polar expedition of all time. DIED! the MOST famous! you coming in here like that is like saying you have a signed photo of Marilyn Monroe when the guy before just said she was his mum!!11!!! GET OUT!!!!!
My mum sang backup on a bunch of Rolf Harris sessions back in the day. You can hear her (and others) doing the ooh aah oohs on Tie Me Kangaroo Down. Insert timely ooh aah ooh Rolf joke here --> [........]
Another uncle became Deputy PM of Australia.
My brother used to do live sound for touring bands and hung out with a whole lot of shitty superstars like Clapton and Meatloaf.
My sister has a black belt in seido karate, which is a balls-out full-contact sort of karate where you just beat the fuck out of the other person. She's 6 ft 2 and has broken blocks of ice with her fist (she's also broken her fist on the ice, doesn't do that trick any more).
I come from a family of high achievers but they're also prone to crippling depression & self doubt.
That is fucking cool.
dropped out after a few weeks and returned with three thousand magic mushrooms.
According to newspaper reports from the time he was called to a house to a house by a woman who was claiming that a quack doctor had poisened her husband who subsequently died, he decided to let the doctor go.
That quack doctor was Francis Tumblety who later moved to London where he is now believed to be one of the prime suspects for the Jack the Ripper murders.....so yeah, my great, great, great........Grandfather may have let Jack the Ripper go.
When presumably all the good footballers had been shot or imprisoned. Dropped soon after.
and so he had to have it amputated. He had a wooden leg and often had a phantom itch.
My other great grandad was one of the few people to be killed by bombings in Nottinghamshire- he didn't fight in WW2 as he was fairly old and had an essential job as a baker- the bakery got bombed killing 49 people.
My great grandma got to 104 years old. that's pretty cool.
was a "fully functioning" alcoholic, godbless his soul.
Once he went on a 4 day bender (part of that was spent whilst babysitting me! he drank a whole bottle of whisky in 4 hours!!). It ended with him falling asleep with his face against a turned on radiator. He ended up in hospital for that. Obviously a really grim story, but somehow still makes me laugh...
Mum's sister x2
Cousin from Mum's side who isn't descended from those 2 sisters
Loads more probably.
My great great grandad apparently helped buy all of his daughter's houses, apart from my great grandmother's, as my great grandad was such an alcoholic.
Also got a bunch of probable alcoholics too. and I take to drink wayyyy to easily.
The drinkers on her side of the family are fucking wankers mind. Dad's side's alright mind.
My Dad's not a massive drinker but his brother is. Without fail drinks an ENTIRE 3 litre box of wine to himself on Christmas Day. Staggers round at 1am with the silver pouch innard in his hand squeezing the dregs out. My younger cousin once got one of those plastic chocolate fountain things for Christmas and he filled it full of red wine after she'd gone to bed. Broke the fucking thing before she'd even got the chance to use it :D
And he's the brother who ISN'T an alcoholic. His other one's one of those `bottle of wine every work day, most of a bottle of whiskey every day at weekends` kinda lads mind. Both of them are fucking awesome craic. Banter's awesome when those 3 get together.
was *nearly* convicted as a paedophile. Sadly everything about the #scandal has been taken down because she wasn't found to be guilty.
NB I've not seen her for years.
Or rather, he and his team-mates were. He climbed the equivalent of Mt Everest on a ladder in 24 hours, and he was almost 50 at the time, so not bad going.
I think they held the record for about two years before the team they had beaten took it back.
What's the process for actually doing that?!
but they set up a huge scaffold in Bradford town centre with a several floors of ladders. They would climb to the top and then slide down a pole and start again. I think they had a previous attempt which ended in failure because there was a lot of rain.
although my dad isn't named:
my dad just shared one of those ecards on facebook
saying "real friends aren't offended when you insult them - they just smile and say something ruder"
feel like replying "shut up, cunt"