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BUT have just found an excuse not to progress in any way until september. LOWER those expectations
Where I live- Sucks
Relationship status - Emotionally Crippled
Music/band stuff - Grinding Halt
25 creeping over my shoulder IT'S ALL GOING SWIMMINGLY
At least summer's coming
IT'S ALL GOING SWIMMINGLY
Brixton Windmill, £3 NUS, £5 on the door
if you choose to be in a band you're never going to achieve any success its not 2012
Service stations rule
yeah i like service stations too
but have become too ground down and full of dread to actually apply to.
fluffybum do you have a job
I washed dishes in a bad pub for a bit. then got roped into cooking, then I changed to a better place that cooks better and got to go straight into doing the cooking with only minimal dishes. I'm verrrryy slowly hoping to get my own hobbies into something that would maybe be a job or at least just spend time doing more hobbies.
finding jobs is so bad. the language of jobs is really strange
Loadrunner Test Analyst
Data Migration Developer
Telescopic Handler Operator
if thats what jobs are i don't want them
i want to be a fisherman with my own little boat
when i was looking at those job titles they had a job for crab pickers but it's down south
a 16-bit one: http://www.smogon.com/media/ingame/images/gsc_tips_ralph.png
is that what the job centre's for? This feels less urgent than a job centre thing
Things I am so far happy with:
1. Ending a 4yr relationship that was just terrible. So glad to see the back of it.
2. Starting a part time uni course for something I have wanted to do my whole life
3. Living on my own (the best)
All in all, it's been a tough 1.5yrs but it's for the better so I am just going with the flow.
oh yeah i would like to go to university but i can't afford it unless someone gives me the money and i'm not sure if it would be useful for me anyway
i don't think i'm allowed those anymore
How many years of loans can you get? Ive had 4 already
This is my first in this country
p much the only quantifiable goal i have
So nearly there.
Composing = going great guns
Recording = okish
Performing = nothing.rubbish.
3 steps forward teo steps back, 2 steps forward threer steps back, quite a bit.
My job and workload is really unpredioctable and I cannot stand not being master of my own destiny and how if cuts across my social life so much.
Various woes and worries re friends and loved ones keeping me on my toes a bit and sometimes making me sad.
But overall I cannot complain- got a steady job, enough money to do lotsd of good things, back on the property ladder again, distanced myself from a couple of toxic friends and spenind glots of time with family and looking forward to a fun summer (assuming work doesn't ruin everything.)
I think sometimes contentness comes in NOT setting yourself too many arbitrary goals and having a bit of faith in the fact that things will work out unless you're a complete ninny.
Going back to university was really something to do as I couldn't get a job before, so I just defered my life. Now the people I know who have done similar are only getting PhDs and not jobs and I'm not PhD material.
Spent all day looking at my CV and making it look LOVELY but not actually done any typing into it. Want to eat loads of bread and hummus and chocolate.
so yeah, one of you mods could complete my life goals.
Just livin', baby.
about handing in your notice?......
It is done.
Where to next?
Nothing lined up. Just quit.
More time for pub quizzes and badminton!
and then I did it when I weas working for JC last year. FELT GOOD MAN.
And then back to law a few months later, but never mind eh?
That is the one thing of which I am certain.
better compare myself to other people my age and friends who are doing their chosen careers already. Then Today I went to an interview and really fucked it up badly and realised that everyone else seems to be a lot older and more experienced and I'm almost certainly gonna have to get more research experience before I do a phd. Which is also really hard to get. Idk, academia is like the worst for making you feel likr an inadequate imposter.
I'm so happy with the people in my life and things though. Also I'm drinking on a train which is the most relaxing activity. No 3G though so when you get this it might not reflect my current attitude to life and I might be really confident and know what I want to do.
It's based in Ecology but I'm sure it's relevant/you'll be able to find similar for your area.
not great, not bad, but good. And that's ok. Got lots of little things to work on which is nice. Finally decided it'll be nice to move abroad next year. So that's that really.
working for 2 hours gives me a massive headache. i can only really take life in small doses
if you set high standards for yourself and are used to being an 'achiever' (whatever that means) then that feeling nvere goes away. (I'm sorry to say.) I still think it's better than thinking you're All That and never trying ot better yourself though.
Sorry today didn't go to plan, I hope you look back and realise thta you maybe got something out of it. And: TRAIN BEERS.
in the sense that you can learn better what you want to achieve and what you're happy to let go.
Now I'm an achiever!
You heard me.
couldn't be more useless if i tried
imagine working full time, jesus. i think i'm just gonna work part time forever and maybe write some articles about books for obscure magazines that pay hardly any money on the side. but i don't really spend much money and not bothered about kids and a house so i think i could quite happily live on part time wages forever. it's all going to be FINE. completely fine.
I used to find the idea of full time work just intolerable but it's surprising how quickly it becomes normal, especially once everyone else is doing it. If anything I used to dread work more when I worked part time.
i'm fine with getting up early every day and working hard and stuff, it's just i think being any situation for a long period of time without the opportunity to escape freaks me out
yeah I used to get that must escape feeling, would normally alternate between going for a pointless walk around the office, or go hide in a cubicle, now im too busy to notice that feeling which is good and bad
so it's going swimmingly, thx
i do think the genuine key to happiness is low expectations
and it's all downhill from here. my life is so good and easy just now but eventually i'm going to have to get a real job and things like that.
Today I found out I don't even have the social skills to be an academic.
and him being like "what about academia?" And me being lol "nah don't have the social skills". The guy across from me gave me such a weird look.
How are you meant to have time for all this networking when you're meant to be doing loads of work?
I dunno I'm kinda doing some freelance stuff, which is fun but it's not really enough to give me anything to do and it'll be quite a while before I manage to get enough to actually live on, but if I get a proper job I probably won't be able to do the freelance stuff, and will be more boring. guess part time work is the solution.
would quite like to do a phd but I don't think I'd want to become an academic for a variety of reasons (not good enough, not enough jobs) so it would essentially be for the hell of it.
jesus I've bored myself typing this
baby please. so excellently
Looks like I'll finally have a flat so I can move out of my dad's house. But I'm still stuck in a minumum wage part time job, going nowhere, and despite having a degree, being able to speak french and having volunteered for nearly a year in the sort of thing I want to do, I don't even get interviews for the sort of jobs I want to get, let alone emails to let me know they don't want me. Fucking shit.
Even if you just get an automated "Thank you for your application, if you don't here from us within...", at least it feels like you didn't just send your heart and soul out to some black hole in the internet. At least a computer acknowledges that I tried.
phoned up the latest place I applied to today after leaving a message on the HR person's phone last week. Receptionist told me if I hadn't heard back by now then that was it. Really wanted to have a go at somebody and just say that its HRs job to just sent a fucking mass email out at least and that when they say they dont give feedback on applications that shouldn't include not confirming they've received them or that they've not been succesful. Didnt though, just grumbled and hung up.
and get a second part time job to make up full time hours, meaning I'll basically have to work in a shop for the rest of my life because i'm not clever enough to go back to uni
Not enough to get funding though. Might go for the civil service european programme next go-round.
man I wish I knew what to d and could stick with one idea for long enough to work towards it
just thought I might get to use my french and you have to do a maths test to get in which I could pass. I've decided to become a pro cyclist though so I'm going for that in the mean time.
i feel you
But I think finishing Final Fantasy VII does that to a lot of people.
from some pure geeky guy with cheesy sandals whispering out EVERYTHIG he types
and is going to visit his friend cause someone's ill or something and he's gonna have to pick up a couple of extra shifts in the next couple of weeks. He reminds me of Robeson (expect he must be less rich)
MUST BE DIGITALLY NATIVE
I haven't set any goals or anything but I bought a flat with my boyfriend in September (hooray) and we're planning to get married next May (hooray) and at work I've just spent the last three months covering my boss's job and realised that I'd probably rather keep doing my own job for an alright amount of money than do his for a bit more.
Having been through two redundancies and a bereavement in the last five years I realise it could all go to shit at any time obviously, but I'm just trying not to worry about the future and to have sensible back-up plans. Definitely enjoying my 30s more than my 20s, I feel so much calmer and less anxious.
Have been doing part time minimum wage shite for 2 years/living at home with my parents. Going back to university in september so hopefully in a years time i'll be better placed.
As for general happiness etc i think i'm doing better but i'm also pretty stupid now as a result of laziness and a mindless job so yeah
do you think this thread is representative of most people or do you think there's something particular about dissers that means we're all complete failures
all the people I know from uni that moved back to That London are doing what I planned on doing when I finished (get any full time job that paid enough for me to live independently and have enough money to maybe go on a short holiday once a year). everyone seems fine there.
How many of those clowns d'you think finished Final Fantasy VII AND beat Ruby and Emerald weapon?
I think on average people on here have achieved more, academically, than the rest of the population, and they're probably more aware of the world around them, so I don't think that it's unusual for DiSers to be experience worries or anxiety about their progress or place in the world.
Having said that, one would expect those who have achieved more to be able to post on an internet forum less, so those that remain might not always give the impression of success.
But on the whole, if you look at the community of DiS over the decade or so of its existence, it's posters have generally gone on to do, or be involved in, really interesting things, much more so than the population as a whole.
Everyone complains, all the damn time.
But it is pretty depressing for me to disappear for years, pop my head in and have the same people complaining about the same things (Except Creepy Joe, who presumably offed himself already.).
There's an argument to be made about an unhealthy echochamber of everyone making jokes about not being anything, so you internalize the perceived mindset of your "community", and never push yourself as hard as you could, but it's a pretty weak one.
So nah, everyone's shit, not just DiS.
Got offered one of (I think) only five departmental fee waivers for my MA which will save me 6k and also made me feel good because it implies the department think I genuinely am pretty ace at this history lark (which can only be good for future phd application, if I make one, etc).
However, got my final 3 hour closed exam tomorrow. Absolutely terrified. It's on Russia from 1855-1917 and, whilst I know loads of stuff very loosely, I can't seem to memorise all the boring dates / historiography / etc that I feel I need to live up to standards of being 'pretty ace at this history lark'. Never felt this scared before an exam ever.
Outside studentsville my two-year relationship came to an end six weeks or so ago and I'm really still not sure how I feel about that. I accept that it wasn't going perfectly but at the same time I feel there were reasons for that (both very busy, currently live an inconvenient distance away from one another, etc) and increasingly I feel like I'm going to look back and regret that it ended when it did. We're both going in same direction in our lives and we both could've used the summer break as a chance to make things better again, I think.
Plus, on the understanding that we still want to be good friends, we're going to see Swans together on Sunday. That won't be awkward will it? Should it be really awkward?
/lengthy life concerns post over
Feel much better about everything today. Maybe my general contentment is rather fickle. Really looking forward to Sunday. SWANS. If I could see them every couple of weeks or so my life would be incredible.
/life concerns update that nobody cares about over
and possibly a second album i'm getting through with a different band. But the latter is probably going to take the rest of the year.
also need to spend more time gymning to get myself in better shape. Otherwise basically sorted.
But I can only do what I can do there so no point getting too down about it
...then I took a massive fucking hit that set me back a while (about a year), now feeling much better about it although I still have my crushing doubts at times.
Swings & roundabouts, life innit?!
Does it Offend You, Yeah?
Hate that thing when you're on a train and you can't tell if its manure or the ventilation system/stinky toilets or if someone's shat themself.
I only fail and get upset.
I'm pretty content though. I live somewhere lovely, have a well paid rewarding job and share it all with the most wonderful man.
Especially when I make posts like the above.
you are very cool and great
might jump off the bridges (sunderland's premier shopping centre)
not really guys it's ok i have very lovely people around me. stay safe xxx.
My life has the feel of playing a computer game where you've messed up so there is no way to progress to the next level, so just aimlessly mess about because starting over would be just too much effort.
in hindsight putting them all on remembering 90s alt rock lyrics, beard growth and sleeping was a mistake.
so I'd say I'm pretty much there already.
I'm starting to resent people who seem like they're getting their lives together. I catch myself thinking things like, "oh that seems like the most boring life ever", "good luck with your slow suburban deaths" etc I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS PERSON, what a twat eh
Might spend the rest of the night listening to Bright Eyes
Hope not though
where you are
might be more content if i get to study something i'm interested in but i don't need a lot of money and i have a top, top relationship and i already got to live in some cool places abroad and could do that again easily enough. also i still look at least 5 years younger than i really am hahaha in your face, the passage of time
just working and existing and not really knowing what i want to do or where i want to go.
oh well i'll just post on dis for a bit.
I feel like there are pros and cons to it, though the scariness of the cons outweighs the goodness of the pros, unfortunately, I sometimes think.
Sometimes worry it's doing a number on my confidence
so thats going well. In terms of being content - massively content. Lifes good.
so after that, fuck knows. need to sort my CV out, got an offer of full-time hours at the bar i work at atm for as long as i need it to tide me over which is good and means i haven't got to move home. haven't got enough passion to push me towards a particular career, might work for a year and then try to get on a graduate scheme next September idk. Need to start being more active and creative once im out of the student bubble too
I've got a great wife, a really good job with a career planned that will keep for a good while, and baby on the way.
however, i really find the area in which i work very disatisying. i don't want to be working in oil and gas for very much longer, and aim for renewables or something in green tech. the issue is that these jobs don't pay as well, and most are fairly risky too as they rely on subsidy. one i was going to go for died after the budget which really stung.
Live with a top girl
Earn more money than i thought i ever would
Live in a nice flat
Think i want to move to germany in a few years so will learn German.
Difficult to be 100% content at the moment owing to the uncertainity of the future. Mainly caused by the fact that I’ve given up trying to buy anywhere in London because it’s impossible even based on the (in my view) rather decent deposit I’ve been able to scrape together. So we’re going to rent but even getting a decent rental gaff is difficult for what I consider a fair amount of money. We’re trying to look to the future. We want to settle somewhere with 2 bedrooms and a TINY bit of outdoor space because we want to have a child in the next few years but… it all seems pretty grim. And renting has its own inherent uncertainties.
So, yeah. As things stand they’re not bad. Everything is objectively pretty decent right now but it’s difficult to have confidence in the future I/we want to have… And that’s not even factoring in my pessimism regarding the long-term political direction of this country either. Maybe it’s best to not bring a child into this world at all…
everything is good except job, gives me enough money - but feels like i'm constantly wasting my time - attempts to do what i actually want to do as a job have yielded little rewards so far, which is at times deflating, but i'll just keep slogging on and hopefully it'll work out eventually, am slowly developing a fairly thick skin and determined fuck you attitude in regards to that - which is good for me i think, taking more control and responsibility of my own destiny.
relationship is great, live somewhere i love, garden is growing well, running is going well, good friends, it's just the work hours and constant small defeats in my attempts to break out of that cycle which sometimes crushes me somewhat.
i think i'm a better person than i was a year ago so that's good
Been thinking about the thing I went for yesterday and I don't even think I'd enjoy working there. It was very structured and had loads of pre-determined criteria and stuff and I think I would feel really stifled and unable to explore really interesting theoretical questions that the topic raises. I'd love to do something where I have freedom to explore new ideas and write about whatever I want. Or teaching. Basically I wanna be a lecturer in a university dept where I'm allowed to research wanky social theory that nobody wants to fund.
like, I dunno, `Media Theory: An Introduction` or `Understanding Culture and Feminism` which will be in every university library/Waterstones in the land? Should've be too hard - just splice together a load of compendiums that have already been written. Would imagine you'd make a fair bit of dollar from that which could fund your funkier social theory work.
Yeah do that. If your funky social theory work is good enough it would restore the damage to your reputation caused by being a vulgar populist in the first instance *thumbs up*
Also probably very much about who you know etc. the idea of being like Anthony Giddens makes me shudder. I reckon I do want to write a book but something I'm actually interested in. Ahhh idk. My tutors have said I should definitely do a phd but I just can't handle the stress of the uncertainty
`Structuration` didn't sit with me as that cogent a theory (seems a little too `convenient`) when I read about it but, y'know, he's alright. Always seemed to want to use social theory and academia to make positive changes in politics (whether or not you believe in The Third Way or Beyond Left And Right). Never that sure if these kinds of uber-academics are just furthering their own brand as opposed to their theories mind... (*cough*Terry Eagleton*cough*)
Objectively speaking you should to a Phd because it'll afford you a) a status through which to secure resources and b) will buy you more time to develop a sense of what you want to do. I could never stomach becoming an academic when I'd graduated. But now the idea seems quite appealing.
idk just follow your heart bbz xxxxxxx
But you've probably read more of him than I have...
At the end of my degree I started feeling very down about social theory
It really upset me how the professors expected me to write with normal sentence structures and in established modes of verified sources and references etc, something efficient and useful but constricted constricted when all I wanted to do was hand in something burnt or something. But very obviously my problem more than theirs.
I think departments vary so much. all my best work is creative or synthesising disparate bodies of work. don't wanna boast too much but I tend to do my best when im pursuing something quite original. I don't think im ready to settle yet. but there's a tendency towards ever more specific areas of expertise in academia. you have you to have a niche and I worry that choosing one would mean closing down future avenues.
I'm not sure I've ever known what the hell I'm doing or ever will have the slightest clue what the hell I'm doing. I've sort of made peace with it though so it's cool I guess.
as well as working on BIG GOAL things - which take fuck loads of time and luck and set backs and can be well depressing - work on some small easily achievable goals - this way it will always feel like you are moving forwards - even if the big things seem to be stalling a little
that's c-b's life tip number one
Friendships= slightly meh
After three years of long distance, and three months living in a shared house, my and the gf finally moved in together. It's brilliant and i'm really happy.
However, after three and half years my job is really grinding me down- work in an office on my own, find much of my work unfulfilling and have no prospects of a pay rise despite being skinted after a relocation to London. Got into a positive headspace and applied to a load of jobs at the end of April and got three interviews, but seem to have narrowly missed out on all three jobs (had one interview yesterday which im waiting to hear from), which has knocked my confidence a bit. Really want to hand in my notice, but I know it's not practical for a bunch of reasons.
as I don't know that many people down here. On the plus point, I've been hanging with my little brother loads recently and its really good to get to know him as a friend.
Sorry the above sounds really overpriveleged etc cause loads of people have it worse than me by far.
THis is nice. H_S, you should take him up on this, he's a good one.
Even this evening, if you like.
shows you are doing nothing wrong at all and just a matter of time until you get a new job - whoop whoop!
"shit, thanks" but they seem to be moving now...
I'm not sure I care about anyone's life goals on a internet forum and I doubt you'd care about mine (if I had any)
I enjoy my job but I don't think I'm good enough to do it. Found myself daydreaming about teaching science in an inner city secondary school today. Might do that.
Relationship, family, and friends are all solid. In summary, can't complain.
about how studying philosophy wasn't going to get me job, but now that i've just finished up my degree and i'm gonna have to move back in with my parents it's not so funny anymore. idk, i guess i'll just sit around and idealise about leading an independent life in london while being too nervous to do anything cos i have zero confidence. uhh, yeah, great.
i'll probably just moan about it not being glasgow straight away
If anything, this thread has shown that no-one has a clue, we're all winging it. You'll get there.
It took me a year of volunteering in an adult education place/citizens advice while living at home to get enough experience to apply for a decent job elsewhere (which I've now outgrown, but am thoroughly grateful I managed to get).
Why would anyone think intelligence is static?
I think I do all the things those flowcharts suggest depending on what/where etc
can someone go from fixed mindset to growth mindest?
they're failing to account for the power of sheer unadulterated laziness and apathy
Mainly because I just wrote a really good synth riff
ALL LIFE GOALS NOW ACHIEVED
I get paid in cash at the end of every month. I put that cash into an envelope and only open the next one when i've nowt left. At the moment i'm spending August 2012 money, so you do the math.
i'm permanently disabled (both physically and neurologically) and really embarrassed to ask for help for ANYTHING. my life goals are to try and enjoy myself, have enough money to live and do myself the least harm with regards to my deteriorating condition. not doing very well atm.
i've prioritised going to uni over having any sort of hobbies (and i guess other forms of self-care, really) for the last few years. thing is, i managed to get firsts in everything without trying until the start of this year, and have received no form of welfare or extra academic support. i also managed to convince people that i was healthy enough to graduate but now i've got really, really ill again and i'm pushing myself to get my last two modules completed, attend my hospital appointments and face going to work. i would have benefitted just as much from not going to uni, i'm sure, but i didn't finish school and kind of wanted to do something for myself.
i don't really have a proper support network, i guess, and i struggle to talk about myself so i'm hoping to be able to make progress with that. and have hobbies and just generally be happier and more at ease.
i'm incapable of working full time. working is really detrimental to my health - even just working part time, like i do now, but i can't afford not to. i need more hours but more hours means another job and probably worse health, and also cutting out any voluntary work and freelance stuff that i do (on the back-burner since april).
i want to go places but i've never been able to afford to travel and probably never will. but i am going to glasgow for a day soon so that's nice. also i've got a block on DiS so i've only got a few more minutes left here.
don't know if you'll get to read this before time runs out but just wanted to send some support and remind you that you're like the coolest person (in case you didn't know) and I hope you get a good support network soon xx
and you know as well as anyone what works might emanate, even under terrible duress
it's also a fucking shame you can't be compensated for your incapacities, but if anyone could lead that fight etc etc
Life has a tendency to want to fuck them up - but this is not a bad thing. Just roll with it and remember to live the moment.
and managing to feel at least a little bit miserable about most things (which is annoying more than anything); being kind of apart from my main friendship groups (the ones I knew from school, and then from university) is making me feel kind of down and pessimistic about things, without having those people around to piss about and come up with inside jokes with and stuff.
One plus side I can think of is that I'm starting to make notes of creative ideas I have, and - when the opportunity's there and I feel like doing it - I can put my mind into making nice music (whether or not it gets recorded, I'm sometimes just happy playing little fragments on my own and that).
General mood re: contentment is that I'm kind of alright, but I'm aware (sometimes to the point of getting quite anxious) that I don't want to be in this situation that I'm in forever.
start one this second
From what I gather, most of us are still pretty young. Maybe not 16, but still pretty young.