Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
But maybe they would have taken it a lot worse had they been younger.
You have no idea of the individual circumstances of each family going through a divorce. My parents split up when I was 22 and it was fucking horrible. It was a dark time and I make no apologies for being very emotionally affected by it.
You stupid cunt.
of how your parents are individuals, that relationships between individuals in most cases turn sour and that's just a part of life. At least you grew up through your most sensitive years developmentally with a mother and father figure, was never the centre of a tug of war you weren't equipped mentally to deal with, and was able to have them explain the situation to you like an adult.
Yes you know they are individual people but if you've grown up to an adult (20+ years) as a whole family unit and that is shattered apart, it will of course hit you hard. You'd be an idiot to think otherwise!
I doubt most cases are like 'we're not in love any more, don't want to be together romantically but still love and care about each other'. Sometimes its a big nasty war.
but surely much better experienced when you don't rely on either parent for care when their minds may be on other things. You'll get over it as an adult, whereas it could leave some pretty big scars on your psyche, especially the part concerned with relationships, as a developing child.
And, as such, I'd advise you to shut up.
of a lack of insight or a lack of empathy. Or possibly both.
If you want to create a blunt hierarchy to say `divorce as a child is worse than divorce as an adult in every single case` then, fine, if that's what you believe based on experience.
If you're saying (based on your first post) that because of this no adult is allowed (in ANY instance) to be upset when their parents get divorced later in life then you are, at best, incorrect and, at worst, sociopathic.
Not entirely sure what you're gaining out of this argument either. What are you gaining by bringing this supposed bit of insight to the world?
Wasn't too bothered when my mum and dad split when I was about 10. Found it upsetting when my mum and step-dad broke up earlier this year after 17 years together. I think it's because you feel like you want to help, but can't -- a bit helpless I guess.
though on a practical level, it has a much bigger impact. When you're older though, I think it can have a big shake-up on what you think about relationships and big picture stuff like that, even if on a day to day basis it makes little practical difference.
A horrible woman, so was actually quite pleased about that -- obviously I didn't say that to him.
I think my parents' inability to make a marriage last has definitely had an impact of what I think of marriage ... as in I think it's a crock of shit and a waste of money.
The saddest thing about my mum and step-dad separating is that they've not been able to sell their house so have both moved into separate rooms and kind of live like recluses. When I visit it's like they're trapped in time, can't actually move out of the situation.
Also, to the people that are saying get a grip. Why does it bother you so much how people feel about their family arrangements? What's needy about feeling sad about a situation?
Than one of the people you live with and provide everything for you leaving the house you all live in together.
Get a grip
But i was actually pleased when it happened when I was 20 as i knew they'd both be happier.
Because then it would be no different to what they're like in front of me anyway (I don't like seeing them all lovey-dovey). Provided I didn't live with either of them and only saw them together at the restaurant etc. I think seeing them living in separate houses would feel a bit weird though.
Seems unlikely that anyone in this thread will have experienced both
Okay. let's defer to him.
Would have to be someone whose parents had divorced each other twice. Or some sort of alternate realities, Sliders shit.
i think i would have felt distressed for myself if it had happened when i was a little un'
i would imagine it has far more of an impact when you are a child, but assume there's exceptiosn to this
I was 7-8 and my sister 12-13 and she was way more adversely affected. Can't say as an adult, I think it'd be tough but in a different way as you will have greater understanding and insight into feelings and implications of all involved.
i can't imagine having parents being together. THAT is the thing that freaks me out. Like, whenever I see other people with proper parents it's all completely alien to me. Like them all living together and getting along?! LOL wtf.
like i don't deserve those things because i haven't experienced them.
like that robeson thread a bit but not as bad.
since i was about 15 ive been expecting myself to eventually divorce whoever i married, ruining my kids lives in the process, then eventually skip the country to avoid the huge debt ive accrued trying to win back my estranged family
My dad lost it. Was v close to topping himself a couple of times. They were still living together for a fair while after my mum told him they wanted out, which didn't help, glad I was there for my brother and sister - both younger, brother has assburgers, was particually tough for him -but constantly having to pick up the pieces and sort my parents mess out properly took it's toll.