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Your business ideas (that you're never going to act on)
Mine: what I do now but almost entirely remote working. You can do hearings by video conferencing now, but they're not that frequent, so use the facilities for client and internal meetings as needed the rest of the time.
Paperless, too. Would cut down on shitloads of admin, and support staff.
Use the massive savings in overheads due to requiring less admin time, support staff and office space to undercut your competitors and attract good staff who want the flexibility of remote working.
Or an all you can eat cake café.
supervised drunk driving as a stag do activity
:D
once asked the go kart guy at ATP if he'd let us on if we were drunk
he said as long as we didn't tell him it'd be fine.
this would be proper cars, maybe with dual controls?
you'd do some sort of reaction / skill course, then neck five pints or whatever, and do it again. Winner would be the one who degraded least.
Can't see any serious problems with this tbh
maybe have dummy pedestrians that you have to try to avoid running over?
oh most definitely
get a pram in there for sure
just make sure to pad the walls for safety reasons
plastic surgery for pets
both of my pugs have had facelifts
.
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4415162#r7011614
aw!
my plastic surgery pet business will be strictly for aesthetic reasons, like for ugly pets
so pugs, then?
ideas come and go
the perpetual motion machine which will definitely work is the only one that comes to mind. I will never do anything about any of them because I have a strong dislike for anything business related.
I'll attempt to patent that for you
From home. In my pants.
thanks
if anything will make you look good in the patent world, it'll definitely be a perpetual motion machine.
so the IPO get people attempting to patent perpetual motion machines sometimes
And they're always convinced that their invention will work.
So they get them to provide a prototype and stick it in a shed round the back for a year to see if it's still running by then.
Love the idea of a shed filled with perpetual motion machines in Newport.
We sometimes get emails (although haven't had for a while)
with things like "I've got a theory of everything, I just need someone to do the maths for me"
sounds reasonable
I used to love my thermodynamics lecturer telling me about all the people that would come to him with their proposals for perpetual motion machines
they'd all be so excited
THIS ONE WILL DEFINITELY WORK
LOL AT CARNOT, KELVIN AND BOLTZMANN
That was invented years ago
and then some geezers from EDF or whatever burned it to the ground and killed the inventor. Moker told me.
isn't the Earth
for all intents an purposes, a perpetual motion machine? i mean i know not *technically*, it'll have to end some day, but...
...is this stupid? i can't tell, i haven't slept.
no it's not and yes that's stupid
cheers
i asked this guy at work who knows about the internet
and he said that what i want to do would required a lifetime of making the database or buying a database for a lot of ££ and hiring someone who costs loads to manage the database. other than that he said it would work but apparently databases are a stumbling block.
instead i'm doing the part that doesn't involve a database and it'll be great but not make a billion ££
Buying high demand event tickets (gigs, sport whatever) at face value
then selling them on at a markup.
same here
doing what I do now, freelance. It could happen. I should make it happen.
would like to have a cafe as well (like you've never seen before, obvs), but that's more a dream than a potentially real business idea that could happen if I got on with it.
Actually am making money at the moment by having people lodging. that's going to bring a nice bit of money in without really having to do anything at all.
Teabags
with sugar already in them.
I'm opening a sdunbed salon soon
Even seen a vacant spot in sauchiehall street. I fancied a sunbed last week and to my horror discovered that i eitjher had to walk eight blocks in one doirection or ten in the other if I wnated one. there is a definite gap in the market for central/ business district glasgow. I will (literally) be coining it in. I plan to sell diet pills too. Might have some of those vibrate plates too that make fatties wobble.
STUNBED
what's your pun business name going to be?
Because you've got some seriously stiff competition on that front from Tanfastic on Maryhill Road.
CURL UP AND FRY
You know how my surname rhymes with tan?
Well, that. Tan.
How can it possibly fail?
fuck this site
SEAN, it's not liking when uyou put things in these < > again.
Let's try with square brackets.
[ Surname ] Tan
might sound a bit gender specific when said out loud
I'm aiming for the ingram street market petal
A TAN FOR ALL SEASONS
THE THIRD TAN
TANFARE FOR THE COMMON TAN
TANS YA BAS
actually, that's not bad
TAN SOLO
YES WE TAN
TIM TAN
FINDUS CRISPY TANCAKES
WAN TAN
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKERTAN
bit racist pal
wantan racism
SUPERTAN
SPIDERTAN 2
THE 6 MILLION DOLLAR TAN
HOLIDAY IN TANBODIA
TANNOY OY!
PURE GAN-TAN'
shite =(
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=a+tan+for+all+seasons&oq=a+tan+for+all+season&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.3320j0j4&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8
D-:
Duolingo type site for guitar playing
i want to chuck all this OFFICE stuff in
and just do drawings and prints and make music videos and stuff like that
not really a business
still going to do it tho
#yolo
Underwear for cross-dressers
Always thought there was a gap in the market.
The cut of mens and womens briefs are very different and your average cross-dressing male must find womens underwear rather uncomfortable at times.
I'd expect
place off euston square does that already
and a place in argly street glasgow
It's where strippers go for their clothes and shoes too, in between the thai orchid and that place that sells guns and harmonicas.
vitor morris, that's the name of the place
I might go there later. (the 'hardware' store, not the pants place.)
is victor morris still open?
that place was a beehive of activity for bampots
I believe so
Love that place.
is it weird that I know exactly where you mean from that description?
not weird,
and this is what I love about glasgow.
Used to live next door to there.
I used to work round the corner
in wellington street. happy days. the thai used to be called the thai fountain. We always went there or the ho wong for friday lunch. Ok now I need chinese or thai for lunch but i'm stuck in the office waiting for my hotpoint repair guy to call to say he's on his way.
See - only available to the Metropolitan Elite. Would do do mail order
Would call the business Male Order obvs
I'd actually quite like to open a shop.
I just can't think of anything that people actually buy in shops any more. except like, coffee. but there's loads of them.
board games
Think there are only two in Glasgow, and one's mostly comics and the other's in the south side.
You're welcome.
there's a vacant coffee/ snadwich/ trinkets shop lease
up for grabs near me. It used to be called Gatsbys? they always have cool band and exhibition posters up. I've been thinking about it for a while (not least because its closure means I now have to walk PAST the office and back again in order to get a roll on the way to work), but it's not something I can really afford to be doing this year or probably next. you should though.
maybe us glasgow dissers should club together and start a business
i'm open to ideas
Blocks of flats that revolve
so you don't get stuck with the same view all the time.
the Wheel Of Pun game
basically, it'd be a rip-off of the pun interface things we do on here. you'd spin two wheels and have to come up with as many puns as possible in a given time - so, band names vs fish, for instance. You could even make special Pun Dice.
get it on Kickstarter, pronto
what do you think:
Pun dice, or wheel of Pun?
dice
Custom printed d20s, with an included magnifying glass so you can actually read the words.
I was thinking D12s
all excellent choices
Wipeout style activity days
for groups of mates to do. Get a bit o' land, stick some big inflatable Wipeout type courses/'events' on it, have it supervised by teenagers and students in uni down time. Make all participants sign waivers saying it's not the company's fault if they maim/kill themselves. Profit.
you'd need to invent hovering racecars with guns first
Nah, just over-inflate some beach balls
http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/209282-wipeout.jpg
I want to take the best 'pick your own adventure books'
and then make interactive movies
I used to have to go to magistrates' court a lot
and in that time I sat through hundreds of cases of people who were about to lose their driving licence but needed to keep it for work/family commitments etc. They always gave the same excuses and you could practically read from a script.
I had the idea that I could undercut the solicitors, who probably charge hundreds of pounds to for advocating, by charging half of what the solicitors do.
Instead though, I'm going back to uni to study law this year.
I want to own a pub
which also sells chilli. The best chilli you've ever had (I'm really really good at making chilli). It'd be fucking radical.
This has just reminded me about Scout's
Chilly Ron Carne story :D
LINK
(I've probably seen it before right?)
not sure
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4201676#r4925954
I'd also call it something fucking horrendous like "The Fiery Panda" or something.
4 types of chilli: con carne, 3 bean (with beer), turkey, brisket.
Pick yr side: rice / tortilla.
add-ons: sour cream / guac
pick a cheese, pick a spice level
BOOM
I think you just invented a burrito bar?
NO.
Chilli. In pubs.
You know like these LUCKY CHIP and Big Apple Hot Dogs and shit all plonk themselves indefinitely in a pub? Well, chilli is SURELY the next thing? We've had burgers, hot dogs, pulled pork, pizzas, burritos. C'mon chilli, it's your time to shine.
I'd definitely go for it
but is it zeitgeisty enough?
Someone has to be the forefather(mother).
This would be well good.
you're going to need some hefty fart ventilation
The smell of my chilli would mask all fart smells.
This has recently opened up in bristol, i've not been, not sure how bar-y it is
http://www.mathildaschilli.com
I FUCKING KNEW IT
Shit, I need to get in there quick.
Also it looks a bit hipster.
surely you need to get the hipsters in initially
they're the ones who'll want to try out a new thing, then you just need to make sure chilli is good enough that people keep coming back once the next food thing comes along, like soup or whatever.
hang on
I think spoons do chilli already don't they?
ah well, lovely dream while it lasted.
Glass-bottomed aeroplanes
Few safety precautions to work throgu
Vending machine with guitar strings, earplugs, jack leads etc.
dream bigger
make a massive vending machine for guitars
think of the sound they'd make when they hit the bottom!
i felt like even fx pedals would be doable. Guitars would be great
because if they got damaged when they hit the bottom youse cunts would probably pay more for them.
cello would be brilliant
This is the shittest idea in the world.
If I was you I would now go and flush my head in the nearest bog.
I'm sure I saw something like this in Barcelona
They have the best vending machines there
I am actually in the midst of putting together a business proposal with a friend...
...and a couple of acquaintances, not really sure if anything will come of it but if it does it will be very exciting.
do you need help with pun business names?
don't worry, DiS will be the first place i come to when i need pun names :)
Mine is a branded party for 1 in a pack
and it's to be marketed to companies like skype and clearsea, dating agencies and also companies that have lots of remote workers.
It's for when you need to have a little celebration via VC. There will be different types of packs but a standard on might include, say, a mini bottle of champagne, 1 party popper, maybe a balloon etc etc, it will have a fancy little sticker on it with the date, time of the vc and ip address or something and you send it to someone when you want to party with them over video.
So if you are cerebrating an achievement by your team of remote workers, you send them all this party for one pack and all get together to celebrate over vc.
If you fancy someone on an internet dating site, you send them a party for one (in a safe way, maybe through the agency) and have a little party, this could a fun way of showing your personality by what you pick to go in the party pack!
What do you think???
sounds shit
what's vc?
a video conference
or video call
sounds shit
it is a bit superfluous
and faddish that's why I'm not going to bother.
that sounds really depressing
a single party popper and a bottle of babycham, happy birthday me
you wouldn't be on your own though
you'd be having a video call with me
better include a noose in the party pack
fine, it's a shit idea but I think
someone could come up with a less depressing derivative, not me though
it's better than all my ideas tbf
the key would be in making it 'a thing'
and coming up with an enticing name
party for 1 is a shit name
billy nae mates' party in bag
Celebrati-one
I'm sorry EC, but I've just spent the last five minutes crying actual tears at the thought
of someone from a dating site sending me a party popper and a balloon and then skyping me to watch me enjoy them :''D
I don't even know if I'm crying with laughter or otherwise
It'd be a proper knife-to-the-wrists moment getting one drop through the door and opening it to find that the closest you currently had to a soulmate was someone who expressed their personality through the medium of including a party hat and some longlife vol-au-vents.
And I'm not even on any dating sites
#yolo
longlife vol-au-vents, eh?
hmmm....
you guys know about cam girls
and the parties you can have with them, right?
casinos on the moon
Yeah? Well I'm gonna set up my OWN casino, with blackjack
and hookers.
a toaster
a toaster that is staggered. so if you have 4 bits of bread in the toaster, and you turn the toaster on, the far left bread starts heating first, then 20 seconds later next left and so on. they then pop out at 20 second intervals as well.
this allows you to butter the toast when it is at it's peak warmness for an easier buttering experience
Thomas Edison eat your heart out
you can also set the intervals
in case you need some more time for buttering (like if you are doing boiled egg and soldiers and need to cut the bread as well)
*Jon Tickle
I would buy the shit out of that
Atm my toasting process involves a lot of up/down toaster motion to try and get all my toast at maximum heat. It's awkward and the last one is often a little too dark for my liking, it's a fine art.
If you don't sell this within a year I'm going to have to make it myself. I don't want to do this!
see!
there's a LOT of demand for this product
i have no idea how a toaster works unfortunatly
I quite like that idea cb
:)
Yes
Yes
YES
DO IT
do you guys want to invest in the business?
this is a REAL idea
although my toaster has two sides so I can effectively do this already, but two slices at a time. Yours is better though.
I've started a business.
i'm giving hot air balloon tours.
you and balonz finally living the dream?
it's got its ups and its downs.
open a shop/pub/cafe/chippie/whatever
convince friends to work in it for crippingly low pay in exchange for the promise of high-paid positions once the business is 'up and running'. Trouser any and all profits.
that rings a bell.....
Coffee cubes
Like sugar cubes, but with coffee.
Purely to foil the cunt in this office who keeps shoving a coffee coated spoon into the sugar jar. I'd prefer to just legalise torture but that's not really a business idea.
I'm going to chage people
for sexual tasks, ranging from hand jobs / finger jobs to full intercourse. No kissing on the lips though! xxx pm me bbs xxx
*charge (or chage, it's ur choice hun xxx)
IKEA marketplace
as a city-centre shop (to sell homeware, linen etc).
Love the concept
but they'd have to charge a premium on the products they sold here to cover high street rent (because their business model is predicated on low retail park type rents and high volume turnover of people who shop at retail parks.)As a concept I love it though because I cannpt bear retail parks.
yeah true
they could also sell their meatballs as well.
I think I've mentioned this before
Roast potatoes with gravy injected into them, like a savoury doughnut. Probably would work at festivals, not sure where else.
how many do you have? I will take them
I've got an idea for a food van at one of those posh festivals
like Latitude or whatever, where there are loads of people who will spend money on twee novelty shite.
Basically it's like a burger van but it only serves toast. You could have various different types of toppings, especially 'posh' ones like lime marmalade or something, and savoury toppings (cream cheese? a special posh cream cheese probably) and different types of bread too, and you'd even be able to get an imprint on the toast using one of those toast stamp things. You could charge loads for practically nowt.
But crucially, it would be Royal Mail themed, lots of red and gold, bins shaped like post boxes, staff dressed in old fashioned postman uniforms. It would be called 'The Toast Office'.
I'm in
There's a cafe in Kings Norton, Birmingham
called The Toast Office with exactly that aesthetic. Sorry.
Noooooooo :((((
although i just looked it up, and it looks like somewhere between a greasy spoon and a sandwich shop. I'll be going for a slightly higher class of customer, y'know. The sort of people who know how to pronounce quinoa.
Had a similar thought about festival food the other day.
Basic sandwiches.
No poncing around with exotic fillings, no artisan bread options, just straight up classic sarnies.
e4+2
Sometimes I miss stuff on e4+1
:D
Surely e4+2 is for if you miss stuff on e4?
If you're missing stuff on e4+1, you'll need to be flicking over to e4+1+1.
he's got a point
a flash mob delivered to your door.
All you can eat cake cafe :(
In the next logical step on from flavoured condoms
I propose making condoms that contribute to your 5 a day.
aagh, i really want to say.
but even though i won't do anything about it, i'd be really bitter if someone else did and got rich, 'cause i'm like that.
and i want to reserve the right to maybe go on dragons den and make a tit out of myself someday.
grit bins on skis
Love film but for guitar pedals.
A social networking site for geeky collectors based on sharing photos, basically Pinterest for blokes with maybe a buying and selling service