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Your business ideas (that you're never going to act on)

Epimer [Edit] [Delete] 169 replies 10:24, 25 April '14

Mine: what I do now but almost entirely remote working. You can do hearings by video conferencing now, but they're not that frequent, so use the facilities for client and internal meetings as needed the rest of the time.

Paperless, too. Would cut down on shitloads of admin, and support staff.

Use the massive savings in overheads due to requiring less admin time, support staff and office space to undercut your competitors and attract good staff who want the flexibility of remote working.

Or an all you can eat cake café.

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  • supervised drunk driving as a stag do activity

    fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:25 | X
    • :D

      colon_closed_bracket @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:39 | X
      badmanreturns, Smee, DJRoomba, and Wheaty this'd this
    • once asked the go kart guy at ATP if he'd let us on if we were drunk

      he said as long as we didn't tell him it'd be fine.

      guntrip @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:59 | X
      • this would be proper cars, maybe with dual controls?

        you'd do some sort of reaction / skill course, then neck five pints or whatever, and do it again. Winner would be the one who degraded least.

        Can't see any serious problems with this tbh

        fidel_catstro @guntrip | 25 Apr '14, 12:08 | X
        • maybe have dummy pedestrians that you have to try to avoid running over?

          j0hn @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 12:10 | X
          • oh most definitely

            get a pram in there for sure

            fidel_catstro @j0hn | 25 Apr '14, 12:10 | X
            j0hn this'd this
            • just make sure to pad the walls for safety reasons

              guntrip @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 12:25 | X
  • plastic surgery for pets

    chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 10:26 | X
    • both of my pugs have had facelifts

      PickledOeuf @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 10:50 | X
      • .

        http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4415162#r7011614

        PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:53 | X
        • aw!

          my plastic surgery pet business will be strictly for aesthetic reasons, like for ugly pets

          chris-budget @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 11:16 | X
          • so pugs, then?

            guntrip @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 12:00 | X
  • ideas come and go

    the perpetual motion machine which will definitely work is the only one that comes to mind. I will never do anything about any of them because I have a strong dislike for anything business related.

    foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 10:26 | X
    • I'll attempt to patent that for you

      From home. In my pants.

      Epimer @foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 10:28 | X
      BusinessEpimer this'd this
      • thanks

        if anything will make you look good in the patent world, it'll definitely be a perpetual motion machine.

        foppyish @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:32 | X
        • so the IPO get people attempting to patent perpetual motion machines sometimes

          And they're always convinced that their invention will work.

          So they get them to provide a prototype and stick it in a shed round the back for a year to see if it's still running by then.

          Love the idea of a shed filled with perpetual motion machines in Newport.

          Epimer @foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 10:36 | X
          BusinessEpimer this'd this
          • We sometimes get emails (although haven't had for a while)

            with things like "I've got a theory of everything, I just need someone to do the maths for me"

            foppyish @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:38 | X
            • sounds reasonable

              Epimer @foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 10:43 | X
              BusinessEpimer and broomstick this'd this
    • I used to love my thermodynamics lecturer telling me about all the people that would come to him with their proposals for perpetual motion machines

      they'd all be so excited

      japes @foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 10:31 | X
      • THIS ONE WILL DEFINITELY WORK

        LOL AT CARNOT, KELVIN AND BOLTZMANN

        foppyish @japes | 25 Apr '14, 10:33 | X
    • That was invented years ago

      and then some geezers from EDF or whatever burned it to the ground and killed the inventor. Moker told me.

      Balonz @foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 10:36 | X
      Epimer this'd this
    • isn't the Earth

      for all intents an purposes, a perpetual motion machine? i mean i know not *technically*, it'll have to end some day, but...

      ...is this stupid? i can't tell, i haven't slept.

      broomstick @foppyish | 25 Apr '14, 19:39 | X
      • no it's not and yes that's stupid

        cheers

        japes @broomstick | 25 Apr '14, 21:30 | X
  • i asked this guy at work who knows about the internet

    and he said that what i want to do would required a lifetime of making the database or buying a database for a lot of ££ and hiring someone who costs loads to manage the database. other than that he said it would work but apparently databases are a stumbling block.
    instead i'm doing the part that doesn't involve a database and it'll be great but not make a billion ££

    fluffybum | 25 Apr '14, 10:27 | X
  • Buying high demand event tickets (gigs, sport whatever) at face value

    then selling them on at a markup.

    zxcvbnm- | 25 Apr '14, 10:28 | X
  • same here

    doing what I do now, freelance. It could happen. I should make it happen.

    would like to have a cafe as well (like you've never seen before, obvs), but that's more a dream than a potentially real business idea that could happen if I got on with it.

    Actually am making money at the moment by having people lodging. that's going to bring a nice bit of money in without really having to do anything at all.

    GoatmeatMF | 25 Apr '14, 10:29 | X
  • Teabags

    with sugar already in them.

    Jeremys_Iron | 25 Apr '14, 10:29 | X
  • I'm opening a sdunbed salon soon

    Even seen a vacant spot in sauchiehall street. I fancied a sunbed last week and to my horror discovered that i eitjher had to walk eight blocks in one doirection or ten in the other if I wnated one. there is a definite gap in the market for central/ business district glasgow. I will (literally) be coining it in. I plan to sell diet pills too. Might have some of those vibrate plates too that make fatties wobble.

    PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:29 | X
    • STUNBED

      PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:32 | X
    • what's your pun business name going to be?

      Because you've got some seriously stiff competition on that front from Tanfastic on Maryhill Road.

      Epimer @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:32 | X
      • CURL UP AND FRY

        fidel_catstro @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:34 | X
      • You know how my surname rhymes with tan?

        Well, that. Tan.

        How can it possibly fail?

        PickledOeuf @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:37 | X
        • fuck this site

          SEAN, it's not liking when uyou put things in these < > again.

          Let's try with square brackets.

          [ Surname ] Tan

          PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:39 | X
        • might sound a bit gender specific when said out loud

          Epimer @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:41 | X
          • I'm aiming for the ingram street market petal

            PickledOeuf @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:42 | X
          • A TAN FOR ALL SEASONS

            THE THIRD TAN
            TANFARE FOR THE COMMON TAN

            fidel_catstro @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:43 | X
            • TANS YA BAS

              Epimer @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:43 | X
              japes this'd this
              • actually, that's not bad

                Epimer @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:44 | X
                PickledOeuf this'd this
              • TAN SOLO

                fidel_catstro @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:45 | X
                • YES WE TAN

                  fidel_catstro @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:46 | X
                  • TIM TAN

                    Epimer @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:48 | X
                    • FINDUS CRISPY TANCAKES

                      fidel_catstro @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:50 | X
                      • WAN TAN

                        Epimer @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:50 | X
                        • HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKERTAN

                          fidel_catstro @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:53 | X
                        • bit racist pal

                          PickledOeuf @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:54 | X
                          • wantan racism

                            colon_closed_bracket @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 11:03 | X
                            broomstick this'd this
            • SUPERTAN

              SPIDERTAN 2
              THE 6 MILLION DOLLAR TAN

              deadwrong @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:48 | X
              • HOLIDAY IN TANBODIA

                fidel_catstro @deadwrong | 25 Apr '14, 10:49 | X
                DJRoomba this'd this
                • TANNOY OY!

                  japes @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:00 | X
                  • PURE GAN-TAN'

                    japes @japes | 25 Apr '14, 11:53 | X
            • shite =(

              https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=a+tan+for+all+seasons&oq=a+tan+for+all+season&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.3320j0j4&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8

              fidel_catstro @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:16 | X
    • D-:

      TheWza @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 13:33 | X
  • Duolingo type site for guitar playing

    Jordan_229_2 | 25 Apr '14, 10:32 | X
  • i want to chuck all this OFFICE stuff in

    and just do drawings and prints and make music videos and stuff like that
    not really a business
    still going to do it tho
    #yolo

    chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 10:33 | X
  • Underwear for cross-dressers

    Always thought there was a gap in the market.

    The cut of mens and womens briefs are very different and your average cross-dressing male must find womens underwear rather uncomfortable at times.

    I'd expect

    NoahVale | 25 Apr '14, 10:34 | X
    • place off euston square does that already

      fidel_catstro @NoahVale | 25 Apr '14, 10:49 | X
      • and a place in argly street glasgow

        It's where strippers go for their clothes and shoes too, in between the thai orchid and that place that sells guns and harmonicas.

        PickledOeuf @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 10:55 | X
        • vitor morris, that's the name of the place

          I might go there later. (the 'hardware' store, not the pants place.)

          PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:57 | X
          • is victor morris still open?

            that place was a beehive of activity for bampots

            Lo-Pan @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 11:05 | X
            • I believe so

              Love that place.

              PickledOeuf @Lo-Pan | 25 Apr '14, 13:18 | X
        • is it weird that I know exactly where you mean from that description?

          Epimer @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 10:58 | X
          • not weird,

            and this is what I love about glasgow.

            PickledOeuf @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 11:03 | X
        • Used to live next door to there.

          TheWza @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 13:35 | X
          • I used to work round the corner

            in wellington street. happy days. the thai used to be called the thai fountain. We always went there or the ho wong for friday lunch. Ok now I need chinese or thai for lunch but i'm stuck in the office waiting for my hotpoint repair guy to call to say he's on his way.

            PickledOeuf @TheWza | 25 Apr '14, 13:43 | X
    • See - only available to the Metropolitan Elite. Would do do mail order

      Would call the business Male Order obvs

      NoahVale @NoahVale | 25 Apr '14, 11:17 | X
  • I'd actually quite like to open a shop.

    I just can't think of anything that people actually buy in shops any more. except like, coffee. but there's loads of them.

    japes | 25 Apr '14, 10:34 | X
    ElthamsmateOwen and TheWza this'd this
    • board games

      Think there are only two in Glasgow, and one's mostly comics and the other's in the south side.

      You're welcome.

      Epimer @japes | 25 Apr '14, 10:38 | X
    • there's a vacant coffee/ snadwich/ trinkets shop lease

      up for grabs near me. It used to be called Gatsbys? they always have cool band and exhibition posters up. I've been thinking about it for a while (not least because its closure means I now have to walk PAST the office and back again in order to get a roll on the way to work), but it's not something I can really afford to be doing this year or probably next. you should though.

      PickledOeuf @japes | 25 Apr '14, 10:41 | X
      • maybe us glasgow dissers should club together and start a business

        i'm open to ideas

        Lo-Pan @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 11:02 | X
        japes and PickledOeuf this'd this
  • Blocks of flats that revolve

    so you don't get stuck with the same view all the time.

    TheSoundofBastards | 25 Apr '14, 10:36 | X
    SuperInuit this'd this
  • the Wheel Of Pun game

    basically, it'd be a rip-off of the pun interface things we do on here. you'd spin two wheels and have to come up with as many puns as possible in a given time - so, band names vs fish, for instance. You could even make special Pun Dice.

    colon_closed_bracket | 25 Apr '14, 10:38 | X
    • get it on Kickstarter, pronto

      Epimer @colon_closed_bracket | 25 Apr '14, 10:42 | X
      • what do you think:

        Pun dice, or wheel of Pun?

        colon_closed_bracket @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 10:49 | X
        • dice

          Custom printed d20s, with an included magnifying glass so you can actually read the words.

          Epimer @colon_closed_bracket | 25 Apr '14, 10:52 | X
          • I was thinking D12s

            colon_closed_bracket @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 11:02 | X
            • all excellent choices

              Epimer @colon_closed_bracket | 25 Apr '14, 11:04 | X
  • Wipeout style activity days

    for groups of mates to do. Get a bit o' land, stick some big inflatable Wipeout type courses/'events' on it, have it supervised by teenagers and students in uni down time. Make all participants sign waivers saying it's not the company's fault if they maim/kill themselves. Profit.

    wisdom | 25 Apr '14, 10:40 | X
    • you'd need to invent hovering racecars with guns first

      Epimer @wisdom | 25 Apr '14, 10:59 | X
      breakfast_t_england, Antelope, and Wheaty this'd this
      • Nah, just over-inflate some beach balls

        http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/209282-wipeout.jpg

        wisdom @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 12:15 | X
  • I want to take the best 'pick your own adventure books'

    and then make interactive movies

    ElthamsmateOwen | 25 Apr '14, 10:41 | X
  • I used to have to go to magistrates' court a lot

    and in that time I sat through hundreds of cases of people who were about to lose their driving licence but needed to keep it for work/family commitments etc. They always gave the same excuses and you could practically read from a script.

    I had the idea that I could undercut the solicitors, who probably charge hundreds of pounds to for advocating, by charging half of what the solicitors do.

    Instead though, I'm going back to uni to study law this year.

    boydungud | 25 Apr '14, 10:43 | X
  • I want to own a pub

    which also sells chilli. The best chilli you've ever had (I'm really really good at making chilli). It'd be fucking radical.

    plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 10:49 | X
    • This has just reminded me about Scout's

      Chilly Ron Carne story :D

      colon_closed_bracket @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 10:52 | X
      • LINK

        (I've probably seen it before right?)

        plasticniki @colon_closed_bracket | 25 Apr '14, 10:52 | X
        • not sure

          http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4201676#r4925954

          colon_closed_bracket @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 11:02 | X
    • I'd also call it something fucking horrendous like "The Fiery Panda" or something.

      4 types of chilli: con carne, 3 bean (with beer), turkey, brisket.

      Pick yr side: rice / tortilla.

      add-ons: sour cream / guac

      pick a cheese, pick a spice level

      BOOM

      plasticniki @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 10:55 | X
      • I think you just invented a burrito bar?

        fidel_catstro @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 10:57 | X
        • NO.

          Chilli. In pubs.

          You know like these LUCKY CHIP and Big Apple Hot Dogs and shit all plonk themselves indefinitely in a pub? Well, chilli is SURELY the next thing? We've had burgers, hot dogs, pulled pork, pizzas, burritos. C'mon chilli, it's your time to shine.

          plasticniki @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:00 | X
          • I'd definitely go for it

            but is it zeitgeisty enough?

            fidel_catstro @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 11:01 | X
            • Someone has to be the forefather(mother).

              plasticniki @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:05 | X
      • This would be well good.

        deadwrong @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 10:58 | X
        colon_closed_bracket this'd this
      • you're going to need some hefty fart ventilation

        Epimer @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 11:00 | X
        fidel_catstro this'd this
        • The smell of my chilli would mask all fart smells.

          plasticniki @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 11:01 | X
    • This has recently opened up in bristol, i've not been, not sure how bar-y it is

      http://www.mathildaschilli.com

      j0hn @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 11:05 | X
      • I FUCKING KNEW IT

        Shit, I need to get in there quick.

        plasticniki @j0hn | 25 Apr '14, 11:06 | X
        • Also it looks a bit hipster.

          plasticniki @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 11:08 | X
          • surely you need to get the hipsters in initially

            they're the ones who'll want to try out a new thing, then you just need to make sure chilli is good enough that people keep coming back once the next food thing comes along, like soup or whatever.

            j0hn @plasticniki | 25 Apr '14, 11:16 | X
            • hang on

              I think spoons do chilli already don't they?

              ah well, lovely dream while it lasted.

              fidel_catstro @j0hn | 25 Apr '14, 11:55 | X
  • Glass-bottomed aeroplanes

    Few safety precautions to work throgu

    nebbie | 25 Apr '14, 10:58 | X
  • Vending machine with guitar strings, earplugs, jack leads etc.

    xylopwn | 25 Apr '14, 11:04 | X
    • dream bigger

      make a massive vending machine for guitars

      think of the sound they'd make when they hit the bottom!

      fidel_catstro @xylopwn | 25 Apr '14, 11:06 | X
      • i felt like even fx pedals would be doable. Guitars would be great

        because if they got damaged when they hit the bottom youse cunts would probably pay more for them.

        xylopwn @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:10 | X
        • cello would be brilliant

          fidel_catstro @xylopwn | 25 Apr '14, 11:11 | X
    • This is the shittest idea in the world.

      If I was you I would now go and flush my head in the nearest bog.

      Balonz @xylopwn | 25 Apr '14, 11:17 | X
    • I'm sure I saw something like this in Barcelona

      They have the best vending machines there

      guntrip @xylopwn | 25 Apr '14, 12:03 | X
  • I am actually in the midst of putting together a business proposal with a friend...

    ...and a couple of acquaintances, not really sure if anything will come of it but if it does it will be very exciting.

    Lo-Pan | 25 Apr '14, 11:11 | X
    • do you need help with pun business names?

      Epimer @Lo-Pan | 25 Apr '14, 11:13 | X
      • don't worry, DiS will be the first place i come to when i need pun names :)

        Lo-Pan @Epimer | 25 Apr '14, 11:15 | X
  • Mine is a branded party for 1 in a pack

    and it's to be marketed to companies like skype and clearsea, dating agencies and also companies that have lots of remote workers.

    It's for when you need to have a little celebration via VC. There will be different types of packs but a standard on might include, say, a mini bottle of champagne, 1 party popper, maybe a balloon etc etc, it will have a fancy little sticker on it with the date, time of the vc and ip address or something and you send it to someone when you want to party with them over video.

    So if you are cerebrating an achievement by your team of remote workers, you send them all this party for one pack and all get together to celebrate over vc.

    If you fancy someone on an internet dating site, you send them a party for one (in a safe way, maybe through the agency) and have a little party, this could a fun way of showing your personality by what you pick to go in the party pack!

    What do you think???

    Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:14 | X
    • sounds shit

      what's vc?

      fidel_catstro @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:15 | X
      • a video conference

        Elaina_Casoolare @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:16 | X
        • or video call

          Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:17 | X
          • sounds shit

            fidel_catstro @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:17 | X
            • it is a bit superfluous

              and faddish that's why I'm not going to bother.

              Elaina_Casoolare @fidel_catstro | 25 Apr '14, 11:21 | X
    • that sounds really depressing

      japes @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:25 | X
      j0hn and -dan- this'd this
      • a single party popper and a bottle of babycham, happy birthday me

        japes @japes | 25 Apr '14, 11:26 | X
        • you wouldn't be on your own though

          you'd be having a video call with me

          Elaina_Casoolare @japes | 25 Apr '14, 11:29 | X
          • better include a noose in the party pack

            japes @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:32 | X
            fidel_catstro and Antelope this'd this
            • fine, it's a shit idea but I think

              someone could come up with a less depressing derivative, not me though

              Elaina_Casoolare @japes | 25 Apr '14, 11:34 | X
              • it's better than all my ideas tbf

                japes @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:36 | X
                • the key would be in making it 'a thing'

                  Elaina_Casoolare @japes | 25 Apr '14, 11:39 | X
                  • and coming up with an enticing name

                    party for 1 is a shit name

                    Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:43 | X
                    • billy nae mates' party in bag

                      japes @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 11:51 | X
                      Epimer and Pegfeet this'd this
                      • Celebrati-one

                        ElthamsmateOwen @japes | 25 Apr '14, 12:00 | X
    • I'm sorry EC, but I've just spent the last five minutes crying actual tears at the thought

      of someone from a dating site sending me a party popper and a balloon and then skyping me to watch me enjoy them :''D

      -dan- @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 20:03 | X
      • I don't even know if I'm crying with laughter or otherwise

        It'd be a proper knife-to-the-wrists moment getting one drop through the door and opening it to find that the closest you currently had to a soulmate was someone who expressed their personality through the medium of including a party hat and some longlife vol-au-vents.

        -dan- @-dan- | 25 Apr '14, 20:07 | X
        • And I'm not even on any dating sites

          #yolo

          -dan- @-dan- | 25 Apr '14, 20:08 | X
        • longlife vol-au-vents, eh?

          hmmm....

          broomstick @-dan- | 25 Apr '14, 21:27 | X
    • you guys know about cam girls

      and the parties you can have with them, right?

      GoatmeatMF @Elaina_Casoolare | 25 Apr '14, 20:26 | X
  • casinos on the moon

    shucks | 25 Apr '14, 11:18 | X
    • Yeah? Well I'm gonna set up my OWN casino, with blackjack

      and hookers.

      -dan- @shucks | 25 Apr '14, 20:11 | X
  • a toaster

    a toaster that is staggered. so if you have 4 bits of bread in the toaster, and you turn the toaster on, the far left bread starts heating first, then 20 seconds later next left and so on. they then pop out at 20 second intervals as well.
    this allows you to butter the toast when it is at it's peak warmness for an easier buttering experience

    chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 11:25 | X
    • Thomas Edison eat your heart out

      Balonz @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 11:26 | X
      • you can also set the intervals

        in case you need some more time for buttering (like if you are doing boiled egg and soldiers and need to cut the bread as well)

        chris-budget @Balonz | 25 Apr '14, 11:28 | X
      • *Jon Tickle

        japes @Balonz | 25 Apr '14, 11:30 | X
    • I would buy the shit out of that

      Atm my toasting process involves a lot of up/down toaster motion to try and get all my toast at maximum heat. It's awkward and the last one is often a little too dark for my liking, it's a fine art.
      If you don't sell this within a year I'm going to have to make it myself. I don't want to do this!

      RFWare @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 11:30 | X
      colossalhorse this'd this
      • see!

        there's a LOT of demand for this product

        i have no idea how a toaster works unfortunatly

        chris-budget @RFWare | 25 Apr '14, 11:33 | X
        hip_young_gunslinger this'd this
    • I quite like that idea cb

      :)

      Lo-Pan @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 11:35 | X
    • Yes

      Yes

      YES

      DO IT

      colossalhorse @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 11:40 | X
      • do you guys want to invest in the business?

        chris-budget @colossalhorse | 25 Apr '14, 11:51 | X
    • this is a REAL idea

      although my toaster has two sides so I can effectively do this already, but two slices at a time. Yours is better though.

      GoatmeatMF @chris-budget | 25 Apr '14, 20:29 | X
  • I've started a business.

    i'm giving hot air balloon tours.

    meths | 25 Apr '14, 11:32 | X
    • you and balonz finally living the dream?

      japes @meths | 25 Apr '14, 11:35 | X
      Lo-Pan this'd this
      • it's got its ups and its downs.

        meths @japes | 25 Apr '14, 11:54 | X
  • open a shop/pub/cafe/chippie/whatever

    convince friends to work in it for crippingly low pay in exchange for the promise of high-paid positions once the business is 'up and running'. Trouser any and all profits.

    Royter-Hatfood | 25 Apr '14, 11:41 | X
    ethricdouble this'd this
    • that rings a bell.....

      Lo-Pan @Royter-Hatfood | 25 Apr '14, 11:45 | X
  • Coffee cubes

    Like sugar cubes, but with coffee.

    Purely to foil the cunt in this office who keeps shoving a coffee coated spoon into the sugar jar. I'd prefer to just legalise torture but that's not really a business idea.

    colossalhorse | 25 Apr '14, 11:48 | X
  • I'm going to chage people

    for sexual tasks, ranging from hand jobs / finger jobs to full intercourse. No kissing on the lips though! xxx pm me bbs xxx

    cheeseandbaconturnov | 25 Apr '14, 11:56 | X
    • *charge (or chage, it's ur choice hun xxx)

      cheeseandbaconturnov @cheeseandbaconturnov | 25 Apr '14, 11:57 | X
  • IKEA marketplace

    as a city-centre shop (to sell homeware, linen etc).

    jontosh2001 | 25 Apr '14, 12:00 | X
    • Love the concept

      but they'd have to charge a premium on the products they sold here to cover high street rent (because their business model is predicated on low retail park type rents and high volume turnover of people who shop at retail parks.)As a concept I love it though because I cannpt bear retail parks.

      PickledOeuf @jontosh2001 | 25 Apr '14, 13:26 | X
      • yeah true

        they could also sell their meatballs as well.

        jontosh2001 @PickledOeuf | 25 Apr '14, 13:55 | X
  • I think I've mentioned this before

    Roast potatoes with gravy injected into them, like a savoury doughnut. Probably would work at festivals, not sure where else.

    j0hn | 25 Apr '14, 12:06 | X
    • how many do you have? I will take them

      japes @j0hn | 25 Apr '14, 12:11 | X
      -dan- this'd this
  • I've got an idea for a food van at one of those posh festivals

    like Latitude or whatever, where there are loads of people who will spend money on twee novelty shite.

    Basically it's like a burger van but it only serves toast. You could have various different types of toppings, especially 'posh' ones like lime marmalade or something, and savoury toppings (cream cheese? a special posh cream cheese probably) and different types of bread too, and you'd even be able to get an imprint on the toast using one of those toast stamp things. You could charge loads for practically nowt.

    But crucially, it would be Royal Mail themed, lots of red and gold, bins shaped like post boxes, staff dressed in old fashioned postman uniforms. It would be called 'The Toast Office'.

    calumlynn | 25 Apr '14, 13:03 | X
    • I'm in

      ElthamsmateOwen @calumlynn | 25 Apr '14, 13:56 | X
      jontosh2001 and chris-budget this'd this
    • There's a cafe in Kings Norton, Birmingham

      called The Toast Office with exactly that aesthetic. Sorry.

      Pegfeet @calumlynn | 25 Apr '14, 16:05 | X
      • Noooooooo :((((

        although i just looked it up, and it looks like somewhere between a greasy spoon and a sandwich shop. I'll be going for a slightly higher class of customer, y'know. The sort of people who know how to pronounce quinoa.

        calumlynn @Pegfeet | 25 Apr '14, 20:23 | X
    • Had a similar thought about festival food the other day.

      Basic sandwiches.

      No poncing around with exotic fillings, no artisan bread options, just straight up classic sarnies.

      TheWza @calumlynn | 26 Apr '14, 12:44 | X
  • e4+2

    Sometimes I miss stuff on e4+1

    SenorDingDong | 25 Apr '14, 13:39 | X
    • :D

      Elaina_Casoolare @SenorDingDong | 25 Apr '14, 17:53 | X
      ma0sm this'd this
    • Surely e4+2 is for if you miss stuff on e4?

      If you're missing stuff on e4+1, you'll need to be flicking over to e4+1+1.

      -dan- @SenorDingDong | 26 Apr '14, 14:18 | X
      • he's got a point

        japes @-dan- | 26 Apr '14, 14:20 | X
  • a flash mob delivered to your door.

    j0hn | 25 Apr '14, 16:36 | X
  • All you can eat cake cafe :(

    Alan_Shearer | 25 Apr '14, 17:42 | X
  • In the next logical step on from flavoured condoms

    I propose making condoms that contribute to your 5 a day.

    toomuchscience | 25 Apr '14, 18:58 | X
  • aagh, i really want to say.

    but even though i won't do anything about it, i'd be really bitter if someone else did and got rich, 'cause i'm like that.

    and i want to reserve the right to maybe go on dragons den and make a tit out of myself someday.

    broomstick | 25 Apr '14, 19:46 | X
  • grit bins on skis

    cat_race | 25 Apr '14, 20:16 | X
  • Love film but for guitar pedals.

    A social networking site for geeky collectors based on sharing photos, basically Pinterest for blokes with maybe a buying and selling service

    ThingsThatFly | 25 Apr '14, 23:39 | X
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