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would you ever consider it?
Seriously amazing, even without the happy ending
^ massive, massive user of prostitutes
Steve gives terrible handjobs: hands are too rough
i hate it
not that i never have. i used to go out with a masseuse. gentle massages tickle and hard (sports?) massages hurt. fuck all that
but it doesn't mean i never have
in the english language, "i will never do that" implies "i will never do that and never have done that". the owness is on the sayer to add "again" to the end if they want to say "i did that once but will not do that in future"
if i had meant that
this is a meme thing here right?
c_r knew what he meant and it doesn't matter. Everyone chill out.
You used to have a little glimmer of benefit-of-the-doubt in your eye. Where did it go?
YOU TOOK IT
i'll never have a massage. get over it.
Raanraals what's your favourite Nick Cage film?
that I can't quite put my finger on
to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" with.
i'll never had a massage
Doesn't appeal to me at all.
Do you like being touched at all????
Do you like not always being touched at all????
Any girlfriends or friends who've ever tried to give me a shoulder rub or massage or whatever just feel like they're digging their fingers into my muscles in a totally painful and uncomfortable way, and I don't find that fun, relaxing, or beneficial. Maybe a proper massage would be a totally different experience, but I can't imagine I'd lie there thinking anything other than 'this is stupid', which wouldn't be conducive to a good time.
I'm with cat_race on this one.
giving and recieving. It's so relaxing. I've never been explicitily asked if I wanted any kind of extra with a professional masseuse. that's because I don't habvitually visit knocking shops, although i did have a scary experience in rio when the masseuse at the hotel spa was massaging inside my thighs and started to make for my minky, and I threw myself off the treatment bed and legged it with my towel. Not that uncommon apparently for a sports massage to include a labial option. Not for me thanks.
I can't stop thinking of Balonz and his three tiers
I wanted an alliterative effect- 'Make for my M*****' and I couldn't think any order words beginning with M.
SORRY (can we just blame balonz and be done with it?)
I was in a rush.
MATE. I was in a rush!
set for my squished mitten?
& his monkey
let's call it.
we were on holiday in Turkey and went for a massage. All these women around the hotel were talkign about what an amazing massage they'd had, so we thought it would be good.
It was in a marble crypt basically, weird place. we were on separate marble slabs, all oiled up, the two masseuse men doing their thing - then my wife starts looking over at me kind of pleadingly but I don't really know what is going on. Only afterwards she told me, mostly, she said, because the potential ridiculousness of me wrestling a Turkish masseuse over oily soapy marble flooring.
Whole thing was all wrong.
Don't let that put you off though cat_race - massages are amazing. as are manicures, pedicures and haircuts that involve hairwashes. Where do you draw the line?
manicures and pedicures don't interest me. i had a haircut that involved having my hair washed once. it seemed ridiculous. just don't like massages. stupid. everyone get off me
Some people don't like the invasiveness of these kind of things. I love having my hair washed. I even like getting waxed.
never gone in for waxing or mani/pedi but let's face facts, I'd definitely enjoy at least the latter two.
with massage chairs. It was awful. As well as pulling your neck over the edge of a cold basin, which feels instinctively like they're going to execute you, the massage chair felt like I was being dropped on a kerb. It was awful. If it happened to me know, I'd just ask them to stop.
"All these women around the hotel were talkign about what an amazing massage they'd had". Bet they were, filthy bitches :'D
and I bet the masseuse just thought he was doing my wife a favour, since everyone else he does it to loves it.
dirty dirty womens
no Gringo, we didn't lodge a complaint. couldn't be bothered.
better to regret something you have done.
The masseuses are brutal but you feel so good afterwards and it's great for your skin. Great way to start a holiday.
Couldn't she just have said, 'Not there please, that's my snatch'?
politeness/ social awkwardness thread.
when they suddenly became AMAZING. what's that all about then?
No we need external intervention.
and didn't really like it, felt headachey afterwards as well, so I wrote them off.
Had them as part of my previous employment, and fell in love with them. Have had several since, mainly with my previous employer, who I have to say, now I've had a fair few at various places, are by far the best.
Also, not invasive.
but they leave you in the room by yourself for a bit, so knock yourself/one out.
but then I think of all the reasons I left and still know I made the right, albeit difficult, decision.
so I'm covered, if you get me.
I want a really forceful good one where someone properly pounds me into oblivion
as the great lady said, if it ain't rough it isn't fun
the man knew massage.
but had one in Goa last year (no happy ending) that was actually very painful for the first little while, then oddly soothing, and then basically got me completely high for about half an hour afterwards.
I do now occasionally go and get a massage at the gym but that's more about my arm than anything else
I might try and sort myself out with one, so I'll test the water and see.
If it looks doable I'll sort you out! Gosh.
I must have missed that/you must be really clutching at straws
but it's really really hard
Where the bloke moved my old chap to one side which was a bit disconcerting but that was it...
Was he trying to access your knee area?
You might be able to go on your own next time
Not against them or anything, but I can't really imagine a scenario when I'd have one. Wouldn't it just be a bit weird and awkward? Do they feel nice?
Once had my hair washed at the hairdressers I used to go to. That actually felt really nice someone else doing it, although again I felt a bit awkward as it was a young apprentice type girl doing it. Not that I was perving over her, I just didn't want other people to think I was. Probably worrying about it too much really. When they offered after that I always turned it down.
had a thai head massage with a haircut once. omg.
(someone can tap that over the line if they want)
had one in bulgaria when i was a nipper, was great.
It was one of those ones where they walk on your back, I didn't really like it. I went in with a couple of mates, the place seemed legit although when we got out one of them said he'd been offered extras for $10. Not sure why they offered it to him and not the rest of us.
reckon it'd be good tho
I wonder what enticed him to make this thread.
He's probably having a nap.
I tried to enjoy it but couldn't, definitely not relaxing. At one point the masseuse had her heel in behind my knee and was yanking on my foot. Was more like wrestling.
(as in, the woman who gave it to me was blind). Well odd. NO HAPPY ENDING. Felt like I'd been beaten up afterwards. She was very rough.
If I couldn't see myself to do my hair and make up.
Bit harsh there.
it could possibly cross my mind to say yes, maybe
So in the moment, I get asked, I say, 'yeah sure, whatever', but the whole time I'd be thinking, "Am I about to get beaten up by three massive guys because I don't have the £800 this hand shandy is costing me".
I'd struggle to enjoy it under these circumstances. But the alternative is to start talking money, 'And exactly how much will the happy ending cost me? Right I see, well, in that case, you may proceed'. Then I'd feel like a right stingy cunt the whole way through.
In short, I am far too neurotic to ever use sex worker.
400 for a half
They get a lot higher take up if they've just rubbed their hands all over you then when you're fully dressed and being taken through the price list.
I think maybe that'd be the solution to my back issues. Just a good solid kicking.
- it's not a brothel or obviously seedy place
- the masseuse is quite hot
- offers it to you for an extra £20
"So, we're finished...unless you'd like to pay me 20 quid to extend really finish things"
If it just kind of 'happened' in the moment i.e a genuine attraction. Offering one for 20 quid half way through...just no.
But it got me thinking how easy it would have been to do. Always thought it was one of those jokes that doesn't actually happen in real life.
Where was this?
surely there's a fairly big gap between a massage and "extra services" it's not like she's offering some aromatic oils or something.
a good massage is a wonderful thing, you are missing out if you haven't had one
Nothing wrong with a nice massage, but I'd be very worried about a place which has their employees asking that.
then yeah of course
My personal situation means combining the two isn't really acceptable.
We have a woman comes to our office to give us massages (LME Ltd - North-West office)
but it wasn't approved
I've always wanted a bisexual melancholy twin brother
On balance, probably prefer to give rather than receive