Boards

well, fucked that up.

- Expects me to give him the little rubbish bit of banana at the end
- Gets on my bed all the time
- Wont come in from the garden when you call him, then waits impatiently at the back door barking when he does want to.
- Forgets he has/pretends he hasn't been fed when someone else comes in/downstairs around dinner time (I'm not sure if he's being really smart or stupid)

-eat everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Raw lentils, tobacco (had to pull her away from it), peanuts, peanut butter, lentil soup, tea bags, elastic bands (have to hide these from her when her back is turned because if she sees where you hide it, she will pull it out and eat it), fluff, bread (she consumed/shredded about half a loaf once when it had been stashed in a cupboard). There's more but I can't remember right now.
-shreds toilet roll and sponges if she can get close enough
-eats the leaves of my (already dying/pretty much dead) plant in the bathroom
-climbs up the coats on the back of the bedroom doors, stands at the top of the door then takes flying leaps onto my bf when he's sitting at the computer
-sits on my other cat when my other cat is under the duvet
-sits on me when she's in a bad mood then hisses at me if I dare to touch her
-knocks over everything and spreads it all over the floor
-pulls fruit out the fruit basket and knocks it about the floor

my other cat
-pees on the sofa (new habit, hopefully one that won't last)
-screams at me and the bf if we leave her behind in one room to go to another (even though all the doors are open and she could follow us)
-climbs behind the washing machine then stays there so you have to coax her out
-waits until she's in the most echoey part of the house (the hall) to starts meowing obnoxiously until you run out and pull her away from there
-side-steps under the bed whenever she's being all cute and approachable and you try to pet her

When she's left alone in her room she'll look out the window and go ape shit whenever someone walks past the house, like proper aggressive barking for about 5 minutes. It'll die down but then another person walks past and it starts all over again. Does my head in. Had a word about it with her today, told her she was an idiot, but she's still doing it.

Both - Using the litter tray at all - started again when we moved house. Need to get them to stop somehow.

Freddie - Brings in half dead birds and mice and gets feathers everywhere.

Freddie - goes out the front and over the road where he isn't allowed.

Freddie - lies on top of my legs in bed until I end up moving to the spare bed.

Both - get bossed in their own garden by a big tom cat.

Cassie - sick on the floor / bed / sofa

Both - chasing each other over wooden floors at bed time.

Freddie - general whining for no reason.

if you try to wave her away from sitting on you she'll just slow down to an absolute snails pace but still try and get on board. only way to stop it is to pick her up and put her in another room... sometimes she moves so slowly that you don't notice she's even on you and the first sign is really hot, acidic feeling dribble landing on your skin. scares shit out of me.
sometimes has a mental break when the house is dark & there's no one in the room - screams at unbelievable volume until you go and see what's up at which point she'll jump on you and demand attention like she's not seen a human for years.

george
when playfighting she goes from just messing around to excessively violent in the blink of an eye - special moves including biting cheekbones & noses and clawing at eyes.
constantly trying to get under the bed covers when it's cold.

Attacking visitors.

If you let dolly on your knee she'll do this annoying thing where she turns to face you and sits up on hind legs I've a meerkat so you can't see anybody else/ the tv. She is wanting her tummy rubbed, but if you oblige then she won't move. If you try to ignore her, she swats you arose the face with a paw.
Exterminate.

cries at me all the time for NO FUCKING REASON! Really loud grating meows.

Eats all the jelly from the Felix Fish Selection food I give her, leaving the chunks to go all stale and hard, so now I have to go to the extra effort of mashing it all up into a paste with a fork before giving it to her. Is also generally becoming increasingly picky about what she eats with age. Turns her nose up at stuff that any other cat would gorge on.

Drools really badly when I pet her, which is something she never used to do when she was younger, but has now become a thing. It'd be cute if her saliva didn't stink so badly. Now I always have to keep tissues at the ready when stroking her.

Has an uncanny knack of vomiting up a single blade of grass.

Has, on more than two occasions, emitted anal gland fluid all over my bed, which is the worst smelling shit ever. Here's some advice that I wish someone had told me years ago - if you want to shush a cat out of a room, do it in a calm manner, because when panicked, cats are liable to spray.

Jumps on my lap out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of me.

the annoying shits other people's pets do on my garden. Fuckers.

When he decides its time for his dinner or a biscuit or similar treat starts making all manner of funny little growls and rolling about on the floor, before eventually settling on barking constantly until you go and get him something to eat.

When his water bowl in the living room is empty (another is available in the kitchen, and he has mastered the technique of opening doors by scratching at them), he sits/lies down next to the empty bowl staring at you. When he catches your eye, he looks at the empty bowl/sticks is head into it and then looks back at you as a hint. Quite clever really, but still annoying.

Also has a habit of putting a paw on your leg while you're eating. 'Leave some for me, plz'.

meaning it'll take 10 minutes for me to do my shoes up.

:(

will walk in front of me, and will stop and turn around to make sure i'm still behind them, forcing me to stop and try not to trip over them. lil shits.

and they also flick their shit all over the place and make general mess.

One is happy to sit and be affectionate, the other only wants to climb on you, sit on your shoulder and then jump on to the nearest available surface that he hasn't yet explored (and then probably pee/shit on it)

If I turned my back for a second Margot the cat would swipe the toast, drag it off to the corner and lick all the butter.

When we first got her she'd been feral for so long that she'd keep getting on the table and try to take food from our plates

or you can search dis for it. he's a prick.

vomit constantly. Like, every fucking day. They have really delicate stomachs apparently? idk. Anyway, the noise they make before being sick. Oh god it's so awful.

Issy our visiting cat who I miss FUCKLOADS used to meow at the bathroom window for ages until we'd let her in, then she'd hover round the treats cupboard until we'd give her one (sometimes more) and then she'd piss off again. Occasionally she'd hang out. WHY DID I PUT UP WITH HER? Oh wait it's because she was the most beautiful cat :(

https://www.dropbox.com/s/fjoe640xr28cdko/2013-07-06%2015.39.15.jpg

Then uses his claws to dig in and stabilise.

Taking much too long to outgrow the biting/scratching play phase.

Running to the top of the stairs and yowling when he gets bored (usually at about 7am on Saturday morning).

Jumping in front of the TV and trying to watch (usually only Match of the Day or CSI Miami though [but NOT CSI New York]).

annoying shits your pets do

cheers

2) regurgitates two of these at locations various
3) starts asking to be fed again

- he whines constantly. like not for attention, just because he exists. it's so annoying. always, forever, and i think will never stop.
- he likes socks. leave one lying around and he'll get it in his mouth and run about waiting for you to chase him.
- he really really loves kids. like knocking them over like them. it is embarassing, but he is just doing it out of love, i hope. he will settle down, hopefully.
- he gets so excited when i come home form work he has
a) knocked over a table
b) almost smashed the tv
c) spilled his food and water
d) broken a door
e) cut his paw on the floor

but then he's this cute: http://instagram.com/p/lhOaU8FnFi/

badly behaved one on the right (Jinx)
https://scontent-b-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/q80/s720x720/1045090_10151561392923681_2018533000_n.jpg

He is blind and bumps into everything. He is still the greatest though. When his eyes were functioning like normal eyes he used to be able to open windows.

what a douche. seriously, it happens pretty much weekly.

audrey doesn't like norma so will hiss and shout at her whenever she's near.

they are both total babes though.

Also accompanies me for every poo.

Meows loudly if I poo with the door closed. Even when aforementioned guests are over.

Strange dog.