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any good horror stories?
are you really making me do this again...? ONE SEC...
I had atrocious customer service somewhere in Barcelona during Primavera at a restaurant. Ordered one of those 'menu del dia' jobbies, 3 courses for 10 euro or something. We both ordered noodles. Out comes 1 noodles and 1 salad. We say. "no, we both ordered NOODLES" to the waiter. Waiter says okay. Waiter comes back 10 minutes later and replaces salad with SOUP. "NOODLES!" we say. He goes away. 10 minutes later comes back saying "no you didn't order noodles, you ordered soup". We say "no, we really didn't, can we see your order pad?". Waiter declines. Waiter goes back to kitchen. We can see him chatting to the kitchen staff who are pointing to us and shaking their head, they clearing think we are lying. We are not. Waiter doesn't come back over to us at all. We wait 20 minutes or so, massively furious at what the utter fuck is going on. Our mains do not come out, although other people's food appears. Boyfriend eventually goes over to waiter who explains yes, we did order noodles, but the kitchen won't serve us anymore for whatever reason; they won't even give us our mains, we have to eat BOTH the starters. We eventually leave, really annoyed because we're missing the first Primavera bands.
Fucking awful. *Think* it was this place: http://www.bellamic.com/
I HOPE THEY WENT OUT OF BUSINESS
on the dis football lads trip. comically badly run, awful food. someone else may have a better recollection of it.
- This Italian place in Geneva. Was there for about half an hour, waiter was completely inept. Managed to get both our drinks and our starters wrong and realised the woman next to us' had the wrong order so took it off her table even though she was midway through eating it (as in, mid-mouthful) and gave it to someone else. Then two different waiters had a fight. Got up and left.
- The Yo! Sushi in Westminster. Was halfway through my third plate when I noticed some mice running round in the kitchen. Got up and left.
- The Lime Leaf in Basingstoke. Just really, really bad food. Didn't get up and leave.
I live in Bristol, and after two very bad Frankie and Benny's experiences at the one in nearby Whitchurch (both times before a film, on the advice of someone who insisted that the Leicester branch was good), I've never even given the one in Cabot Circus a go. So it's just as bad, I take it.
Waitress basically accused us of lying and asking for onion rings as a starter instead of a side order. Ended up having to shout after her as she walked away, she apologised in the end. Frankie and Benny's are very average indeed, their burgers are outrageously shit for the cash they charge. Their phily cheesesteak was about £13 and was just a few chunks of beef and peppers shoved into a standard burger bun. It looked like a 99p McDonalds hamburger.
terrible service, food was cold and gross, seriously considered walking on the bill but they gave us a chunk of money off and the head waiter apologised saying 'we're really busy tonight so it's not the best food we've ever made'. what the fuck kind of excuse is that?
someone told me a similar story of when they went, including a waiter knocking their bottle of wine off the table spilling a bunch of it, who then just picked it up and put it back on the table and carried on about what he was doing.
a good horror story is turn of the screw. badumtsh.
"mexican food" really?
hugely slow, really rude, massively overpriced.
Get it together, Carluccio.
and had without doubt the least interesting, least tasty pasta dish that I've ever had in any restaurant. It was so ridiculously bland - and cost £9. My gf's dish was undercooked, too. Would not go back.
had bonkers, terrible food and drink, and an aggro brummie proprietor who more or less tried to fight me when I didn't finish my meal.
Think xylo's been there too, bizarrely.
(or did 2 years ago, could be passé now) The one with the pulled pork? Anyway, it was that set meal thats just loads of meat and it was about £10 each. I put £5 tip in as all the people there were being tight. WHne they counted up the money they virtually stopped us from leaving until each person put another £3 in after we'd paid the bill. I was too drunk to really understand what was going on at the time. Ive never been to a proper restuarant as I imagine this kind of bollocks happens all the time.
This is why I dont normally go to these places. Just put it in the price of the food and stop fucking about.
Went for lunch with my dad for my 19th birthday. Dad in a suit, me in shorts and shirt, sporting a 'Lemmy'-style beard which, in hindsight, was not the best of looks. Either way the maitre d' took an instant dislike to me.
Order our starters and mains, 45 minutes after our starters have come we're still waiting on the mains. Ask the waitress and she said as we had some olives left they were 'waiting for us to finish our starters' and they'd bring our mains out now if we wanted them. My dad tells me to check my steak, as it's probably been sitting on a hot-plate for ages and I asked for it medium rare.
Steak comes out, cooked through completely. Send it back, very apologetically, and the waitress is very polite and seems fine with it. Cue the maitre d' coming over and saying he'd 'inspected' the steak and there was 'blood on the plate'. I said, sure, but it was cooked through and wasn't pink at all. He then tells me, 'okay, but this time we'll have to cook it rare as once the blood's out of the steak it's quite hard to inject it back in'.
Maitre d' turns to walk away, my dad very audibly goes 'you cunt'...
Was fairly shocked at the time but I guess it was warranted.
Used to think they were the height of sophistication. Nice bacon cheese burger, and fancy cocktails. Haven't been to one for years, would probably be so disappointed.
The seafood risotto was long grain rice with crab sticks in it.
but was once in a branch of an increasingly popular London-based chain restaurant near Regents Street, where we'd just finished a tasty lunch when we saw a mouse scurry across the floor. We'd notice a few of the staff acting a bit weird earlier on, and realised they must have clocked it earlier and prayed no one else did. Called over the waiter and mentioned it, he blanched and immediately got the manager, who came offer and apologised profusely, and said they were 'going to go nuclear on it'. He then said our meal would be on the house. So all in all, I was pretty chuffed with it.
Next time I went to another branch, they kept us waiting an hour for a table after saying it would be 15 mins (would have left but had already got a drink at the bar). They did give us a free round of drinks and starters though, so they're hanging on in my good books, JUST.
...and the food there was really bad. Understandable, but I was young and pretty clueless about the situation over there.
A lot of people there used to (probably still do) open up their homes and charge people to eat there. We went to one and this really drunk Cuban woman made us pork chops and chips. She basically served up raw pork and soggy potatoes, cue us trying to walk out. Her husband came down and a big argument kicked off. Fortunately my stepmum is Peruvian and could communicate, but I was all "WTF, I thought this was going to be some chilled beach holiday".
That was one of about 5 incidents. I remember getting back to London, and me and my Dad stopping at Bengal Berties in Finchley before we'd even been home and just ordering a comedy sized meal.
The food was generally atrocious. I got food poisoning from a pizza: we went to an 'Italian' restaurant, which was a tactical error. Obviously no Italians there, and nobody working there had ever been to Italy. I ordered a pizza with prawns, wtf. People were sending back untouched plates of lasagne that looked like messed up Rubik's Cubes.
The staff were nice and apologetic about it, so it was kind of funny (until the food poisoning kicked in). We found a steak place that was aces, though: don't need fancy catering colleges to cook a mean steak.
Maybe 'terrible gastronomic experience Cuba with my dad' is the new football or something.
I just remember everywhere having run out of everything. In Havana, anyway.
I didn't get food poisoning as such - just a really really bad case of diarrhoea after drinking sugarcane juice that some bloke was selling by a roadside. He only had 5 cups and no means of cleaning them. I didn't put 2+2 together and a few hours later... :-(
Where the guy just shoves a sugar cane into a brutal-looking mangle, then scrunches the juice into a glass of rum. Really should have brought straws with me...
awful food that took ages to come and rude staff. meat in a veggie dish. generally unclean. told the manager he should be ashamed of himself and nearly got in a fight with him
missus ordered eggs benedict, they came out with runny WHITES. it was a small place and the waitress was nowhere to be seen so she took it to the counter where the chef/owner rolled his eyes at her and stuck it in the microwave. he brought it back and put it down abruptly in front of her with a patronising "there you go miss". the whites were STILL runny. We told him we didn't want it anymore and he didn't give a fuck (we'd already paid).
The best thing was when we went on tripadvisor to fuck him up, our initial shock at the overall good reviews were balanced by the sheer quality of the negative reviews and moreover the owner's abusive ranty responses to them. Pure gold honestly - he blames his shit cafe on:
- the fact a disgruntled customer supports a shit football team
- another customer who needs to "grow up and get over yourself"
- people who hear him shouting obscene language not understanding the catering industry.
didn't clock that it had actually gone up on the site. can't remember why the first one wasn't accepted - but he's definitely averted any bad PR by highlighting it. the ulterior motive bit :D
'Firstly it is worth noting that this review was originally removed for breaching trip advisors code of conduct. This second attempt is equally riddled with inaccuracies and exaggeration and should be viewed with the contempt it deserves. The author calls herself “nevercomplains” instead of having the backbone to use her own name and seems to have gone to great lengths to contradict that tag, one wonders if there is an ulterior motive for this. Review sites are a good thing and we always welcome bona fide constructive criticism but when is trip advisor going to clamp down on this sort of nonsense. '
“Cafe Location Restaurant Food”
Reviewed 13 February 2014
what a weird title for a review
went there once, seemed ok. I think I had a burger. he seemed a bit dickish but not spectacularly so. I must have caught him in a good mood.
when they fuck up they immediately snap into aggressive-defensive mode. the sad thing is his job probably makes him intensely unhappy.
sure there's free wifi, but you aren't allowed to use any computers
I used to live quite close to it, and it makes me quite happy that it's shit for some reason.
but i dunno, i always feel like a right cheeky cunt plugging my laptop in in a cafe. free wifi doesn't mean free power for your laptop.
the way they deal with it is amusing though
I'm probably finding this whole thing a lot funnier than it should be
if you advertise free wifi then I'd say its a given you can plug in a laptop
hope so- it'll be like a less esoteric version of the noise thread
Always thought of going in, liked the name. Quite glad I didn't now. Thanks for giving me closure.
I remember going there because they had an "all you can eat Italian" evening. It turns out there were three dishes: Ham and Cheese pasta, bolognese and the vegetarian option: ham and cheese pasta without the ham.
Also served coke out of two litre bottles. So comedically shit.
was the one i used to work in. part of a hotel in glasgow, owner/manager was a bit of a cunt, regular problems with people not being paid on time etc. the kitchen was staffed by two guys, one of whom was a trainee chef on some kind of sub-minimum-wage internship, and when the head chef quit the owner refused to hire someone else so this poor guy (who was far too nice and timid to be a chef and i'm pretty sure also had some anxiety issues) was left to run the whole kitchen by himself. luckily the restaurant was mega unpopular, but on the rare occasions when more than a few people turned up everything understandably went to shit
i got my friend a job as a waiter there, and on his first shift he was left to serve completely on his own, ended up getting shouted at by customers cause the food was taking so long, had to turn away some customers even though the place was half-empty cause the chef couldn't handle any more orders, and the couple who were turned away complained to the owner so my friend never got another shift
also on the occasions when the overworked trainee chef needed, y'know, a day off, they just got one of the cleaners to come in and make a massive batch of her homemade curry and i'd have to tell customers we had a 'special menu' that day which consisted only of curry and fish and chips. the curry was delicious though.
I worked in a place that was admittedly much less shit than this but a lot of this rings unhappy/hilarious bells
And what hotel was this?
this was a couple of years ago, so you never know, it might have improved...
all that said, it was one of the best jobs i've ever had cos it was usually dead and i was just left to my own devices
I don't have particularly high standards generally, and specifically not of chain pizza restaurants right by a London terminal, but this place's awfulness goes above and beyond even the most generous mitigation
crap food, overpriced drinks, miserable staff. And that fucking birthday song...
Just an absolutely horrible place.
Don't have any amusing stories, all I can tell you is that it's not even Wetherspoons standard. And that wan surmised from 6 different dishes, all terrible. Pushy service too.
Mainly because the portions are fucking tiny.
but the portions were tiny too. Pretty much sums up how I feel about life.
otherwise their food is a bit average, I think. I thought they'd have more veggie option on the menu too.
Won't be going back
that Bill's is pretty great for breakfast, pretty poor for anything else.
where, at the time, we didn't even queston it when we saw a dog being led through the packed restaurant towards the kitchen... when the penny dropped later it was a 'thank christ we had prawns' moment...
stupendous bit of racism
I'm calling you out for this stupendous bit of racism
You're fine with dogs in commercial kitchens where food is prepared then then?
you were saying that chinese people eat dogs. have the guts to own it, at least.
Why do people assume dogs only know red meat? RACIST
rather than have live animals led through to the kitchen for on-site slaughter.
Had ordered a chicken dish and it was taking ages. Eventually they brought out a plate with rice and a container on top of a candle. I opened it up and there was sauce and a load of raw chicken.
I sent it back and then 15 minutes later they brought it back. No change. Still completely raw.
Told them that I had no intention of eating raw chicken. They first tried to explain to me that this was how it was supposed to be served. It wasn't. They then took it away and asked me whether I would still be paying for it. Obviously fucking not pal.
Everyone else's food was quite nice.
that we went for my mum's birthday. Waited an hour for our food, when it came it was freezing. Asked for it to go back, we were told they were too busy. The dining area was barely a third full. We were so hungry we ate it as quick as we could so that we could leave. Having finished our food for a good 15 minutes we had to ask someone to clear our table, when it was very obvious that was what we were waiting for. Then, they got the bill wrong and to top it all off, one of my siblings had to pay by card (everyone else paid cash) and they waitress tried to charge the whole bill to her card, despite the pile of cash that we had already handed over for everyone else's meals. Sheer infuriating incompetence from start to finish. Hope its shut down, this was a few years ago.
which had a nice looking menu, the kind tarted up pub grub at an expensive price you LME love I believe. I was then very disappointed when my starter of Mushrooms with a cream and herb sauce turned out to be a bowl of mushroom soup with some whole mushrooms in. Not only that, it was not as nice as even the most standard tin of mushrrom soup, and I'm fairly sure it was served with a fork. The wife's fish coujon starters were fish fingers and it continued from there.
We had three meals the next day in different places and still didn't spend as much as in that one.
Not the worst ever, but the annoying one in recent memory.
looks right posh gastro pub, but the food is totally boil in the bag gubbins. Definitely rings a bell.
that my mate's dickhead ex-wife took us to.
Antipasti (classic Spanish tapas that) included wafer thin ham out of a packet, lettuce, crab sticks out of a packet, Harry Ramsden's style bread and butter and barbecue sauce.
My mate ordered a chicken escalope (why was this on the menu at a tapas restaurant?) and got, and I'm not exaggerating here, a Birdseye chicken kiev.
The wine was awful, everything was terrible.
Despite this, two of our party ordered pudding. When the puds didn't come for nearly an hour, we tried to just cancel them and get the bill, but the woman get really arsey and called over this guy who'd been gradually getting hammered at the bar. He was her son and he threatened to batter us if we didn't pay for the desserts.
One of our party was a police man and had to use the "I'll arrest you if you in a minute" line to get him to go away.
So glad to hear they went out of business.
I also remember being in a coffee place in my neighbourhood waiting to get served for 15 minutes. I'd gone to the counter to order and they said "take a seat and we'll come over."
After waiting I looked round the corner and noticed both staff were on computers. I checked and they were both on Twitter, tweeting each other. One from the restaurant account, the other from her personal account.
That made my blood boil disproportionately.
maybe the mexican place in blackheath?
run by the same mental sexist slave-driver that owns half the businesses in the village, really, really unhappy staff, everything came with loads of unnecessary carrot, cost loads and they insisted on us getting tequila when neither of us even wanted a drink.
downstairs at that place on a friday they used to have a "club" that was like a rohypnol festival so the restaurant just before 11pm was absolutely rammed with fucked mentalists and threatening lone men.
not as bad as the chip shop run by the same guy down the road but still pretty bad.
deep fried ice cream, that was a bit like eating hard skin off someone's foot...
Or was still trading as, er, El Pirata or whatever it was called? Still mouldy green on the outside...!
Its still open, so I assume its only used as a front for money laundering or something.
Nachos were reheated slop with BBQ sauce from tesco's squirted over the top.
Taco's were stale and tasted like shit, I complained, waitress merely said "that how we get them sorry".
Guy came in at 2:00pm drunk out of his mind, ordered a bottle of wine and started talking to everyone in there at length.
served doritos with guac as a starter, and then the burritos etc had red kidney beans in them
got no problem with proper tex-mex food but the amount of absolutely awful shit that is being marketed as 'mexican' is ridiculous.
and that big chain place...erm...
mainly london-centric with a few burrito places outside the playground of the LME.
Before that (and still happening nationwide), though... Shit UK Mexican is almost its own cuisine in the same way tex-mex is. I blame Chiquitos.
but it's always so rammed in there i've never made it in. wahaca is decent, serviceable. i liked and miss mercado though i know plenty on here didn't rate it.
had too many an average burrito though, need a place for a plate of proper mexican, like.
Other than that I have been to one other good mexican in the UK (run by an actual mexican family, in my hometown)
Predominantly all rubbish though.
people keep telling me about this elusive amazing mexican place in covent garden but can never remember what it's called.
After putting a picture on instagram, two of my Mexican friends in LA commented that they were impressed.
will check out, thanks
definitely get the guacamole they make fresh at your table. Simple idea, but very well executed and very delicious.
I shall now check it out, ta.
You're welcome to step to her if you wish =D
My only criticisms for the place would be price, but then london, innit.
And accidentally looked up the US version of the menu before the UK one. Literally identical, except usually *more* pounds than dollars for any given dish. soured me on it a bit, esp as I was fairly hard up at the time.
this thread made me realise i haven't had a bad restaurant experience in years, time to bring in some changes!
Remember a chef coming out of the kitchen at Cafe Rouge in Esher to tell my 9 mths pregnant lady that he wouldn't serve her deep fried camembert as it contained unpasteurised milk.
Poor guy. Hell hath no fury like a feminist, pregnant science-literate woman.
how did he know?
did the waiter write it on the order?
just wondering why the waiter didn't deal with it at the table?
You shouldn't eat those rinded cheeses if they aren't cooked so it's not like he plucked it out of his arse, even if he was wrong.
(I've been in that Rouge)
But it is sweet in a way, but people treat you very weirdly when you're pregnant. You kind of become public property. So he kind of took the flack for everything from strangers touching her belly to the medicalisation of childbirth.
Was not even by a long stretch of the imagination even slightly good.
It's generally very good, but the meal they served me last time I was there (I am now barred) was utterly dreadful. I am barred for complaining about the food btw.
...but their food is over priced for what it is and that is not as good as they think it is.
Much prefer the food in stravaigin.
that's surprising, always been good when I've been
and my stuffed aubergine was a marrow which was burnt on the outsiode and raw on the inside. I've always enjoying te food there (despite it being a bit £££ for what it is) but this particular occasion was awful and when I complained about all of our food, the chef threatened my friend with a meat cleaver, but then my friend went bush and started jumping on tables shouting that her pigeon wasn't even properly dead (it had been served raw- not even seared and they refused to sear it for her and called her a philistine) and was trying to flap off the plate, and the manageress/ lady owner called the police.
decent response from Cal as well. the world needs principled individuals
might go to franco manca tonight
we should make a date of it at sum pt bbz
off work at 7
it's something I need
They don't update very often unfortunately, but what's there is great.
immediate after a few bites of the buffet, all of us starting complaining of Stomach Upset.
I had to rush to the Men’s room & suffered from loose motions. - suavelan
ate out all four nights we were there, each one at best mediocre and massively overpriced. There's probably one or two gems buried in there but we never found them. Fucking Italian Disney World.
Went to an incredibly weird place in Le Marais. We were doing the stupid thing of cruising the streets looking for somewhere to eat on our first evening and got ushered into this place, which was like an antiques shop unhappily sharing space with a delicatessen. We were rammed in between the dry meats counter and a stag's head decorated with christmas lights (it was April). It was open to the street outside and the guy serving us their incredibly ordinary food had to go outside and then next door to fetch it. The toilet in itself was an adventure, you had to go down a long and lethally narrow set of stairs down into the antique store room, pick your way through that, past a big set of washing machines and two people arguing furiously over them and then into a completely unlit utility area to find them. Visited the facilities twice, they were still going at it half an hour later. We were the only people there and passerbys looked in at us with a mixture of pity and contempt, or so it seemed. The bill when it arrived was one of those old-fashioned ticker tape jobs, and the numbers on it were so faint they could have been charging us anything at all. They could have, because we just wanted to get away from the glassily murderous gaze of the stag asap.
It was the first time I've ever eaten out in Paris and it's left an indelible impression on me what cuisine in the city is like.
awful city all round for the most part
The internet's Jordan_229_2 just gave you the thumb's down.
and it was great.
Still. That stag.
Was in Paris a month or so ago and are in a few cracking wee places that were very well priced.
In fairness I didn't stumble across them but was told about them by mum
A cuban place in Camden market. It was a pre-booked Xmas do. The food was 3 hours late! We told them we weren't paying, they got arsey, but as we explained, it's not our problem if it's fully booked when we pre-ordered...
The pizza express in Haymarket has the most miserable waiting staff in all pizza expresses. Food is ok, but smile a bit!
i've been (presuming there isn't another) and it was fine.
never had it. It was 3 hours late and they said 'It'd be here soon' so we told them we want a refund.
ROSCOE: I'll tell you, Mrs. Dennesey, we went to the Ritz and I was eating some of the spiders from out of the drain pipe and I'll PUT MY HAND TO MY HEART MRS. DENNESEY, I ONLY ATE A SPIDER AND IT ATE ME FROM THE INSIDE AND I DIED
MRS. DENNESEY: Ooooh
ROSCOE: I should've made a claim, I should, but I don't like to make a fuss.
MRS. DENNESSEY: Ooh, our Sandra's going there next week. I'll have to warn her, I will.
ROSCOE: You should. You should.
(DIAGNOSIS MARLON walks in through the front door; he stops as he sees ROSCOE and MRS. DENNESSEY sitting there)
ROSCOE: I believe you have something of Mrs. Dennessey's that you should give back.
DIAGNOSIS MARLON: (looking down) *mumbles*
ROSCOE: SPEAK UP MARLON
DIAGNOSIS MARLON: (turning round, walking out, and sounding as if in a huff due to being in a moderate huff) the Van Dyk family are in the car, hang on I'll go get em. (under his breath) bunch of wallies
ROSCOE: I HEARD THAT YOUNG ARSE (looking at MRS. DENNESSEY) I'm sorry, Mrs. Dennessey he's going through a phase like perhaps what a musician performing one of Steve Reich's minimalist compositions might do except actually it's a different sort of a phase
MRS. DENNESSEY: Boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be the death of us all will be boys will be boys will be the prophet?
(CHAMPION, MRS. DENNESSEY's pet ostrich smiles and looks directly at you.
the waiter was trying to give us free pancakes or something if we ordered certain things so he could keep the money or something. Something got lost in translation but he was basically trying to keep money/put down what we ordered as something cheaper. We left the correct money and he chased us down the road lol
asked if any of the food was vegetarian, they said yes and brought me a red pepper stuffed with minced beef. i sort of picked around it as i was starving. they asked if we wanted dessert, we said yes (don't know why) and instead of bringing a menu they just gave us bowls of chopped green apple with yoghurt on top. the bill came with two shots of homemade booze, some kind of hungarian version of grappa with spermy-looking bits floating in it.
Should've guessed what was coming from all the half-eaten plates of food discarded round the beer garden.
We ordered lasagne (a safe bet for a pub lunch). The chef had clearly never made lasagne before. It consisted of a layer of congealed cheese sauce half an inch thick, below which were three lasagne sheets (all on top of each other), below which was a deep layer of greasy bolognese sauce.
I would assume most pub lasagnes are bought in frozen. Unless they bought a really shit frozen one.
'All the sauce, all the pasta, all the cheese, NO THEY'RE TOUCHING'
Like to see him make paella: you'd probably get separate bowls of prawns, chicken, saffron and rice like a mental thali