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Bagsy I win

i.e yes.

I'm a tentative maybe

Request not to be on meths' team, if he can't even remember our glorious victory last year. I'm playing to win.

how long are these usually?

I have an 11 a side match mooted for my team, but the amount of games that have been called off recently I'd be surprised if it went ahead unless we have a sustained dry period. Also I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make it back in time for kick off for that as it is half an hour earlier and in South London, where I would probably make 2:00pm here in North London.

Thus, IN.

On the basis that 'you don't ask, you don't get' can I be on a team that meets the following criteria:

- has a really good keeper
- has someone who scores a lot
- wears a dashing kit

??

IN

Be warned though, im pretty crappy at 5-a-side. Almost always end up losing my balance and doing a Goldberg-esque SPEAR on someone.

and Jesus James
and fishplums
and KEN CHU
and SarcasticFringehead (hmmmm)

are IN

Loz
Duncan
James E
Jake S

IN

Dominic Amodio

my friend Chris who played last time is also IN if there's space

and then if we need it My friend Chris would be up for it

and have also had a tentative in from my friend Adam who played once before.

I'm in.

Exeter has a pretty damn exciting weekend to compete with and I'm still not decided.

like Aphex Twin (?)

shout me if you need more players - can probably sort a few.

So that'll be 5 teams (4 with 1 sub) if everyone turns up on time.

Expect the football to finish at 5:30 PM.

* Goals can only be scored if the player shooting is in the opposition’s half, regardless if an opposition player touches the ball or not.
* After a goal is scored, the game is restarted by a keeper’s ball.
* Ball can't go above height of pitchside barriers - unless deflected off keeper or dead object (goalpost, barrier, etc.). Free kick taken from point where ball was kicked, unless the ball goes out of play.
* If the ball goes out of play over the barrier, play restarts with a free kick from where the ball went out.
* Outfield players not allowed in opposition keeper's area to gain advantage - keeper's ball if so.
* Outfield players not allowed in their own keeper's area to gain advantage - penalty if so.
* Keepers are not allowed out of their area and/or handle the ball outside their area to gain advantage - penalty if so.
* The keeper and outfield players may switch position as often as they want during the game, but bear in mind the rules above regarding inside/outside the area, and gaining advantage.
* Keepers: no kickouts, no overarm throws.
* Backpasses are allowed, unless you have just received the ball from the keeper. Deflections off the keeper don't count obviously, only a return from a direct pass/rollout is forbidden.
* Freekicks: opposition players at least a full pace away from the ball.
* Penalties: taken from stand, no run-up.
* Players are not allowed to hold on to the pitchside barriers to gain advantage - indirect free kick to the opposition if so
* Team captains are responsible to ensure that each team is ready to play at the start of each match, in the right colour shirt, as switchover between matches has to be quick.
* After each match, both team captains should agree on the final score and report the result back to the scoreboard.

Watch me.

I think it's Walley, but if it is I'm disappointed his first name isn't actually Walley. A big let down.

will be revealed in the next few minutes.

aboynamedgoo (c)
waffle
waffle's mate Duncan
waffle's mate Jamie
waffle's mate Walley
fishplums

suggested shirt colour: RED

Royter-Hatfood (c)
oenso
Good_Bone
Good_Bone's mate Dominic
i_remember_laughter
dan_thw

suggested shirt colour: BLUE

meths (c)
marckee
Jawstheshark
Henrik
Splenic_Artery
SarcasticFringehead

suggested shirt colour: WHITE

Does anyone speak Dutch?

richyblue (c)
ElthamsmateOwen
ElthamsmateOwen's mate Chris
lozpawley
JuxtaposedJames
maevans

suggested shirt colour: BLACK

kenako (c)
Jamienaz
ohgood
OceanStorm
OceanStorm's mate Chris
Loui_Tacceh

suggested shirt colour: GREEN

If your team prefers to wear something different from what is suggested, that is perfectly fine, as long as:

a) there is some uniformity on what you wear as a team; and
b) it doesn't clash with what your opponent is wearing

As always, I'll bring a set of bibs for emergency shirt swaps.

gain the trust of AVH, become his most trusted advisor, then bring in all his followers to form a shadowy cabal around the patriarch.
He sees this tournament as his opportunity to consolidate his power. If he wins, it's basically gonna usher in a 100-year reign of terror.
He's always been a bit 'off' hasn't he? Never trusted him.

I'm not making this up!

in the title init

Team Esselens

every outfield member of our team a contender for man of the tournament, altho sad to lose Vikram halfway through. gonna say that maybe Chris (V's friend, not poor defeated waffle) was the standout if we're splitting hairs? although really we worked incredibly well as a team, with the touch, composure and quick interchanges to really pressurise and dominate everyone we came up against - and we were goddamn solid, always covering and intercepting, (almost) always taking the right option.

word up to the generally brilliant standard of goalkeeping in the tournament too - Ken's performance probably the standout, but whoever that Red guy was, I doff my cap - practically unbeatable.

had a nice chat with Ormsby on the tube home - came to the conclusion that if anyone nabbed the golden boot from him (with 6/7), it was probably either James (Juxtaposed) or one of the Greens (I have a hunch our goals were almost evenly shared amongst the front 3, with Vikram getting one - don't think Jack scored - too damn committed to the art of effortless defending for his own good). aforementioned defeated tormented waffle only got 5 I *think*.

um, some other teams did some things. lol.

suggested shirt colour: ambiguous

some cracking bants.

Sorry for calling you a timewasting ****, Hoogy.

Whoever's on my team next year: good luck, all the best.

Greens were phenomenal. Jack mopping up at the back, and then if anyone did get round him, then Louie was on hand to basically be a brick wall.
Bit gutted we had them first because they clicked straight away and we took a while to get going, but we were decent enough once we did.
Shame about the tired legs and the flat ball in the last game, both teams had some shots saved that perhaps would have had a bit more sting to them had it not gone so soft.

Genuinely think Louie on the green team made the difference, but all of them put in a phenomenal shift so it's tough to pick.
Ken was incredible for the blues, and in goal had a blinder.
Jamie and Duncan both also had incredible games in goal for the reds, and Jake and Smee did some tasty interplay for the whites.

(I also scored 6 Ormsby <3)

1) Team Esselens (in green) 12 points, gd = +10
2) Team Diepenbeeck (in black) 7 points, gd = +4
3) Team Couwenbergh (in white) 4 points, gd = -8
4) Team Avercamp (in red) 3 points, gd = -2
5) Team Backhuizen (in blue) 3 points, gd = -4

kens locker key.
ormsby and royter arguing the whole way through.
hoogys time keeping.
jakes shirt.
james' maradonna goal.

Bit nervy in the last game, although the flat ball didn't help. Mind you, pretty sure that blunted Red Chris more than us, so...

As mentioned, everyone played really well, and everyone did a shift defensively and going forward, with Louis being great in goal. Love his 5-a-side specialist keeper move of sitting on the ball to save it.

[from up thread]

"are these free kicks direct or indirect?
Ball can't go above height of pitchside barriers - unless deflected off keeper or dead object (goalpost, barrier, etc.). Free kick taken from point where ball was kicked, unless the ball goes out of play.
* If the ball goes out of play over the barrier, play restarts with a free kick from where the ball went out.

Indirect free kicks."

No mention of that free kicks given for BRUTAL ASSAULT are also indirect. WE WERE CHEATED.

Serioauly though, really good fun, cheers Arthur, and looking forward to next year. I'll go on your team Will.

Big fan of how we managed to boil down our gameplan into one bellowed cry of "TACTIC".

Not even plural.

Good stuff.

Excellent throughout and more than lived up to their billing as pre-tournament favourites. Was reasonably satisfied to keep it to 0-1 in our final game against them.

From a Red perspective, I thought we were brilliant in our first game against the Blues (plus Ormsby hadn't found his shooting boots yet), but suffered for lack of fitness as the tournament went on. As mentioned above, Duncan and Jamie both had excellent spells in goal, and Walley and Jamie scored a couple of nice goals for us.

I've badly injured my right foot from kicking the side wall in frustration during the second game - what a dick.

No team got battered 4/4, which is nice.

Most of the Greens could be MOTT, but I'd go for Captain Salmon.

Let's do this more than once a year.

given no subs and the lack of a vaguely competent keeper. we struggled against pace and let in a few long-range efforts that the likes of Super Ken would have saved. greatly enjoyed blocking ALL of Chris's shots against the reds. would like to note my thumping finish, cruelly ruled out just because the game had finished.

but does Louis remind anyone else of a young Stalin?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Stalin_1902.jpg

Would love to do that more often

I have this vivid image of Ken throwing himself down to make a save, wildly grimacing whilst bleeding profusely from the knee. Hero!

I scored a grand total of 0 proper goals despite playing upfront for most of the tournament. Good return. Sorry for fluffing all my shots boys. I was pretty hungover as well. Didnt do justice to the TACTIC (patent pending, meths 2014).

In short - Ken 'Buffon' Chu's done me there.

and the shot from someone on the blue team that twatted Ken in the face, somewhere near the corner of the pitch

Played pretty badly in the first two games, but the Blues finally got into the swing of things in the third and fourth game where we actually played properly, resulting in the biggest win of the tournament, and well deserved.

Thought the teams could have been better balanced - the green team was quite clearly the strongest, with no players that could even have been perceived as a weak link, but I guess they didn't actually batter anyone so no massive harm done.

Comedy Blues moment - Will calling me a stupid cunt for shouting at him that he wasn't marking anyone at a free kick, when he was basically propped up against the fence with his hands down his shorts about 20 yards from anyone. To be fair, the fence was probably one of the standout players for all teams, so maybe he was marking that.

Ken's goalkeeping was mega. Actually our team performance in that 5-0 win was a joy to behold. Very Renford Rejects.

Someone must have scored more goals than me, right? I got 7. If not that means we had the top scorer and the biggest win, and still finished last. It's a funny old game.

Suffering today with some monstrous allergy shit which started during the middle of the tournament. Mad sneezing fits - proper knackering.
Cheers to Hoogy for organising.

Our team improved every game, culminating in the biggest win in the tournament (5-0) - we were so close to a fairytale ending of NOT COMING LAST denied by the late equaliser by whites in the final game. Drama!

Cheers for the goalie-love, folks - i only looked good cos i was in for one game so didn't have enough time for howlers.

did look pretty bashed up towards the end though - bloody nose and then a ball in the face in the first game and the knee doing a crap terry butcher impression in the last and then somehow getting cramp while in goal (thanks jack for standing in and keeping the clean sheet while skipping around the blood stains in the area.....)

would love to play more although i like the annual-ness of it makes it feel a bit special.

JuxtaposedJames scored goal of the tournament i think

green team deserved winner

hope you recover soon vikram