I'm even keeping the reviewers comments in for added spice
Zahidf was the the No. 1 entrant. The No. 2 entrant was Saps. Zahidf got the better of Saps with the high knee, but Saps avoided the GTS. colinzealuk was the No. 3 entrant. The fans were behind Zahidf as he got the better of both men briefly. The No. 4 entrant was Verbal, who hit CrossVerbal on colinzealuk. Moments later, colinzealuk was eliminated by Verbal.
The No. 5 entrant was maosm, who came out in a dress shirt and pants. He took off his shirt and worked the match in his pants and shoes. maosm dominated for a bit, but maosm was eliminated by Zahidf. The No. 6 entrant was umlaunt_ampersand, who got some time to shine.
Powell's POV: umlaunt_ampersand is getting a big push in NXT and has been working recent main roster live events. His NXT manager Lana did not accompany him to the ring, and he wore short spandex rather than the brown gladiator type gear that he normally wears.
The No. 7 entrant was boothyfearsatan, who came out with Zeb Colter. Zeb carried a sign that read "Every 90 second another illegal crosses the border." The No. 8 entrant was Antapocalypsenow, who went right after Zahidf with a jumping punch.
Powell's POV: Yes, the DiS stop watch is broken again this year, as they entrants are entering before the 90-second mark.
The No. 9 entrant was oneso. The No. 10 entrant was Jordan_229_2, who had a brief flurry of offense until umlaunt_ampersand took him down with a shot. Zahidf, Verbal, and Saps teamed up umlaunt_ampersand. Eventually, umlaunt_ampersand was eliminated by a group of wrestlers. Zahidf tossed Antapocalypsenow over the top rope and umlaunt_ampersand caught him. umlaunt_ampersand set Antapocalypsenow on the barricade and caught him with knees, then left him there.
Antapocalypsenow stood up on the edge of the barricade and positioned himself, then got a running start and jumped back onto the ring apron to save himself. Cool spot. The No. 11 entrant was alcxxk, who actually made his entrance from the backstage area rather than through the crowd. The No. 12 entrant was spit-fire, who got a nice ovation as Cole said he was entering his sixth Rumble match.
spit-fire threw a missile dropkick and then went to the corner and threw punches at Saps until alcxxk threw him down. A loud "Let's Go spit-fire" chant broke out. The No. 13 was moker. moker was eliminated by alcxxk. Moments later, oneso were eliminated by alcxxk. Antapocalypsenow had another near elimination moment, but he hooked the bottom rope with his feet.
The No. 14 entrant was Severed799. He had Severed799 written on his gear and the graphic also read Severed799. "Diesel is back," Lucien said. boothyfearsatan was eliminated by Severed799 when Severed799 shoved him over the top. Severed799 went after the two Shield members and they all fought in the corner. The No. 15 entrant was In_Limbo, who ran out and immediately threw a dropkick to Zahidf, whose head was sticking out over the ring apron.
Antapocalypsenow was eliminated by In_Limbo. spit-fire performed a DDT on In_Limbo, who came right back with a spear. spit-fire was eliminated by In_Limbo, which drew some boos from the spit-fire fans. Severed799 charged at In_Limbo, who held down the ropes, causing Severed799 was eliminated by In_Limbo.
The No. 16 entrant was confrontedbybears. confrontedbybears was eliminated by The Shield. confrontedbybears took a safe bump to the floor. Verbal was eliminated by Jordan_229_2. Moments later, Jordan_229_2 was eliminated by In_Limbo. The Shield set up for a Triple Powerbomb on Zahidf, who was the only man left with them in the ring.
The No. 17 entrant in the match was foppyish, who worked over all three members of The Shield. foppyish went on a huge flurry and put down all three members of The Shield, then played to the crowd and was cheered. foppyish tried to pick up In_Limbo, but he was jumped by the other two members of The Shield. The referee visibly whispered instructions into In_Limbo.
The No. 18 entrant was Yesiamaduck. The No. 19 entrant was nebbie. Summer Rae escorted him onto the ramp and the crowd did the hummed along with the theme song briefly. The No. 20 entrant is was Chris_Is_Cool. Yes, really. He was escorted onto the stage by Los Matadores, and then he charged to the ring. Cole said Chris_Is_Cool is the smallest competitor in Rumble history.
Zahidf did the bit where h put out his hand while Chris_Is_Cool swung at him. Chris_Is_Cool was able to give Zahidf a huracanrana, but nebbie tagged Chris_Is_Cool. nebbie pressed Chris_Is_Cool over his head, but Chris_Is_Cool came back with a huracanrana and then knocked him off the ring apron. nebbie was eliminated by Chris_Is_Cool. Moments later, Chris_Is_Cool was eliminated by In_Limbo.
The No. 21 entrant was crisps, who came out with Zeb, who had a sign that read "you can time it yourself by they stole your watch." crisps entered the ring and immediately performed the crisps Swing on Saps. The crowd counted along for a bit, but then stopped counting and just cheered.
The No. 22 entrant was Splendidmcawesome. In_Limbo speared crisps. Zahidf and Splendidmcawesome exchanged punches. The No. 23 entrant was TheKennedyCurse. The remaining entrants at this point were all three members of The Shield, Zahidf, foppyish, crisps, Yesiamaduck, Splendidmcawesomebarleysugar barleysugar, and Uso.
The No. 24 entrant was Lucien. His music played and the adult males cheered. Lucien stood up wearing his suit and tie and played to the crowd with a big smile. He called for Cole to come get his jacket. Cole did, but Lucien was eliminated by In_Limbo. A brief "you still got it" chant broke out for Lucien.
The No. 25 entrant was Jimitheexploder. Yesiamaduck fought with Jimitheexploder, but Yesiamaduck was eliminated by Splendidmcawesome with a clothesline that knocked him off the ring apron. TheKennedyCurse was eliminated by Splendidmcawesome with a big boot. The Shield and Wyatt Family members squared off.
The No. 26 entrant was hip_young_gunslinger. The crowd was quiet until the next entrant as there was a lot of battle royal style punching and kicking. The No. 27 entrant was Jook. The No. 28 entrant was NoahVale, who got a good reaction initially, but then the adult males booed when he started dominating in the ring.
Jimitheexploder was eliminated by NoahVale via clothesline. hip_young_gunslinger and NoahVale squared off, and NoahVale backdropped him over. hip_young_gunslinger was eliminated by NoahVale. Jook caught NoahVale with a kick and then went for the Cross Arm Breaker, but NoahVale powered him out. Jook was eliminated by NoahVale.
The No. 29 entrant was barleysugar, who caught NoahVale with a clothesline and then everyone settled into battle royal style brawling. "Yes!" chants started. The No. 30 entrant was Steved, who was greeted by loud boos and a small "Daniel Bryan" chant. The boos continued as the match went on.
barleysugar was eliminated by foppyish with a clothesline. The loud boos continued as the match went on. Steved hit the 619 on Saps, but Steved was eliminated by Saps moments later. There were some cheers for that elimination and then the Daniel Bryan chants started up again. Splendidmcawesome was eliminated by a In_Limbo Superman punch.
alcxxk tried to dump In_Limbo over the top, but he held on. Saps jawed at alcxxk. crisps grabbed them both. alcxxk, Saps, and crisps were eliminated by In_Limbo. maosm emerged from underneath the ring and C.M. Zahidf was eliminated by maosm. maosm chokeslammed Zahidf through the Spanish announce table.
The Daniel Bryan chants started up again as the final three of NoahVale, foppyish, and In_Limbo got to their feet. The boos grew as they got to their feet. foppyish knocked In_Limbo down, and then squared off with NoahVale, and the boos from the adult males grew louder. NoahVale performed a powerslam on In_Limbo. A loud "No!" chant broke out.
foppyish performed a rolling senton on NoahVale and then looked to the crowd and set up for the Brogue Kick. Instead of chanting "Brogue" the fans chanted "No!" foppyish ended up on the ring apron after a sequence with NoahVale. foppyish was eliminated by In_Limbo.
The match came down to NoahVale vs. In_Limbo. Cole framed it as the young gun against the six-time champion. There were cheers when In_Limbo clotheslined NoahVale to the mat. He set up for the Superman punch and the crowd responded with a loud "In_Limbo" chant. In_Limbo went for the punch, but NoahVale caught him with a spear.
The fans booed as NoahVale performed his pre-finishing routine. When NoahVale turned back to In_Limbo, he ended up taking a spear. In_Limbo looked to the Zonino sign in the rafters. NoahVale ended up grabbing him and tossing him out. In_Limbo was eliminated by NoahVale.
NoahVale won the 30-man Royal Rumble in 55:10.
There were loud boos from the crowd and Cole told viewers that it was NoahVale's second Rumble win. Cole noted that In_Limbo eliminated 12 men in the Royal Rumble match and broke a record that stood for 13 years. In the ring, NoahVale stood on the second rope and pointed to the Zonino 30 sign in the rafters and then pyro went off. The fans booed as NoahVale posed to close the show...
Powell's POV: If you think the crowd was tough tonight, just wait until the Zonino crowd if it's Randy Orton vs. NoahVale. This is one of the most stubborn, pigheaded moves I have ever witnessed DiS make. Seriously, get a clue. Sure, they could still call an audible (not getting my hopes up), but the fact that they didn't see this reaction coming or somehow justified not going with Daniel Bryan entering, let alone winning, the Royal Rumble is just insane. Chris Shore and I will have a lot more to say about this in tonight's Dot Net Member exclusive audio review. Thanks for watching along with me tonight.