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*in before duplicate thread*
Being knocked into a coma and waking up a year later to see...Roberto Martinez shaking hands with Yaya Toure - both wearing Arsenal shirts?
Real Madrid adorned kit.
but the first thought that came to mind is that Moyes looks even more like a Match! magazine competition winner than before.
"Now have your picture taken with a cardboard cut-out of one of your favourite players! It'll be like YOU'RE the manager!"
Chelsea absolutely pummeled Stoke yesterday and the modest scoreline was essentially the result of Stoke playing eight centre backs. I'm given to understanding that West Ham currently have zero centre backs. It could get pretty ugly.
Oscar's free kick in gif format for those of you who, understandably, did not want to watch a (Chelsea vs) Stoke match on ITV.
I think there may - whisper it softly - be actual defenders on display tomorrow
I can assure you it will get ugly.
but they all turned up on the wrong day.
Good to see that in the post-Fergie era they're keeping up the tradition of hoovering up established Premier League players.
which i guess is £14m+6m or summink like that.
This isn't Sunderland or Hull you're dealing with.
Newcastle did take Obertan off your hands in exchange for actual money.
he still has English Player + English International Tax added.
I suppose his mum and dad did produce him, but what happened to the days of a new house or car.
His parents could of signed Mata and just used him about the house.
Even the most loving parents have probably had their heads turned by the prospect of 34,000 Luce.
imagine having that face and that haircut hanging around the house
Various places reporting we're signing Draxler (never seen him play, sounds sexy), Rodrigo (never seen him play, sounds sexy) and Jung (never seen him play, sounds like a Swiss psychoanalyst). Bow before the warchest, puny oligarchs!
scored once in 17 league appearances
In fairness he's probably still a better option than Bentdner, who seemed to be performing a remarkably well observed parody of himself on Friday
thought he was at wednesday though
and he only scored one, and that was after being sent to Zaragoza straight away when he get back to Barca
for their brilliant performance at the Emirates on Friday - and hats equally off to the Arsenal fans for giving them a standing ovation. Nice to see some solidarity amongst fans. Hope it shamed our owners, but I doubt it. Hedge funds don't feel shame.
Except for one guy who was holding a sign WHY?. Upside down.
The mutual applause was a really nice moment too, but the highlight was the big, bald Cov fan charging onto the pitch then not knowing what to do when no stewards followed him. Ended up just sort of waving, hugged a few players, shook Pressley's hand and then surrendered to the first steward who could be bothered to stand up.
The guy is now facing a lifetime ban from football for what was essentially a good-natured gesture - he wanted to thank both sets of fans for their superb behaviour. There's a petition here:
also have a soft spot for Coventry because of the '87 Cup final
is his attempt to get an even more lucrative transfer. "Buy me and you get a top quality player (excluding 'Fat' September) + details of all of United's transfer targets and spending power! Once in a lifetime opportunity, sale must end Sunday."
Not sure he really deserves it, but we'd be a bit rubs without him, so whatever.
Wonder what Ferguson thinks about it.
should've sacked rooney off after his first transfer request. 'no one is bigger than the club' went out of the window when he didn't.
to put all United's transfer plans in pictorial form for him. Would be the perfect job for DotS.
My sources suggest they loaded up FM13 and stuck it on holiday mode for the weekend
By the time they showed it to Rooney, United had signed Leandro Damiao, Neymar, Mbaye Niang, Mario Balotelli and promising youngster Pedro Smith, won the Champions League three times and Rooney was manager. From that moment onwards he was convinced.
I'd forgotten about Leandro Damiao
I wonder if he's ever written a single word of anything he's had published on United. It all increasingly reads like he doesn't even bother putting the copy United's press intern emails to him through a spell check.
So on the one hand, United didn't really do much on the Mata transfer and were chased around by about 17 desperate agents, but on the other they gave Rooney advanced notice that a deal was imminent.
Surely it's fairly common for employees to talk to the execs about the future of the company when deciding whether to stay or not? Always thought Fergie's nobody-is-bigger-than-the-club, how-dare-you-even-ask approach was the exception.
Moyes: "We've just signed Mata, and we're gonna sign some other big players too."
Rooney: "Ok. Do I get £300,000 a week?"
Paul Parker Park.
Chris Wilder quits Oxford (promotion contenders in L2) to join Northampton Town (serious relegation contenders in L2). His contract was up at the end of this season, and the chairman refused to open negotiations at this stage – I think he was hanging on to see whether he’d get promoted or not. I can’t really see Northampton ever being more than a mid-table L2 side – it’s just in their nature it seems like. So the best manager we’ve had in the last 20 years or so has possibly committed career suicide to get some job security. That’s a sad situation.
and get joey beauchamp back on the left wing
A friend of mine said he'd seen Joey recently playing for Bletchingdon FC. How the mighty have fallen! I think he was my favourite Oxford player of all time (except maybe John Byrne).
going to try to find the thiago one
England u19 international, plays in defence or midfield. don't know anything about him whatsoever. going to speculate that he's better than ten mertesackers.
He's alright. Busy, nippy type.
Naturally a CM/DM, but can fill in at right back. Captained our reserves/New Gen teams for the last couple of years, looks like a shaved koala bear.
If you had to pick a team of XI players (plus subs bench) by cloning just one current player in your team's squad - so that's 18 players who are all the same person - who would you pick?
Got the talent, got the work rate, would resemble a 'Honey! I Shrunk The Kids!' reboot. It'd be perfect.
and then moyesylad snaps him up.
I'll go for Yaya
based on the fact that no-one else would and we'd be the only team to keep a clean sheet
Hefty, decent with his feet, reasonably quick, can hit a fucking blooter when he fancies it.
steve's been the best this year
Lanky enough to play in goal, defence would be solid as fuck (fullbacks might not get forward quite as much) and he'd be great target men.
Plus, strong captain material and good at collecting fines when he was late for training.
He's like a modern day Mr. Benn.
think i'll go for Vertonghen just
to go full on Sherwood
James Hanson by miles
just bung a long ball up every time
The bugger clearly longs to be bombing up the wings and stampeding into the box whilst he's occupied with everything else. Probably need to bring in a whole reserve of Kompanies to cope with the inevitable injury crisis though.
Pretty sure he already has 18 different personalities anyway. We'd alternate between ridiculous attacking football and shithouse Stoke tactics with elbows flying everywhere.
Might have a few games abandoned after too many red cards though.
It'd be incredible.
Just imagine it.
i'm sure we'll get a replacement in by saturday though. becchio, sammy ameobi and guly do prado all linked.
as part of the Bridcutt deal.
would go on a date with him
Just so there's no ambiguity. Nice work, Andros.
The obvious sexist undertone isn't great but it's fucking funny that he posted the accompanying picture
Adnan Januzaj (Man Utd) to PSG
Tom Ince (Blackpool) to Swansea
Dani Osvaldo (Southampton) to West Ham, Inter, Fiorentina or Juventus
Andrew Robertson (Dundee) to Everton
Sergio Canales (Valencia) to Fulham or Everton
Lee Cattermole (Sunderland) to Stoke
Leigh Griffiths (Wolves) to Swansea or Celtic
Toni Kroos (Bayern Munich) to Man Utd
Marco Reus (Borussia Dortmund) to Man Utd
Bruno Martins Indi (Feyenoord) to Everton
Saul Niguez (Atletico Madrid) to Liverpool
Bacary Sagna (Arsenal) to Man City, Fenerbahce, PSG, Monaco, Galatasaray or Real Madrid
Domenico Berardi (Juventus) to Spurs, Chelsea, Man Utd or Man City
Kasper Schmeichel (Leicester) to Man Utd
Ross McCormack (Leeds) to West Ham
Gokhan Inler (Napoli) to Liverpool
Daniel Agger (Liverpool) to Napoli
Fernando (Porto) to Liverpool, Man Utd or AC Milan
Andre Gomes (Benfica) to Liverpool or Man City
Peter Odemwingie (Cardiff) to Stoke
Blaise Matuidi (PSG) to Man City or Chelsea
Lewis Holtby (Spurs) to PSV
It's not a position we really need to strengthen but he once showed up to a press conference dressed as a lion. More of that, please.
he would be a decent signing. Especially as Gerrard's legs have gone (at least if playing 442) and there isn't really another midfield ball winner at the club other than Lucas
Yes, he's injured, but only for a couple of months apparently. Wazzing upwards of £10m on someone to do his job for that time doesn't seem sensible when there are Borinis and Iagos Aspas we could be wazzing that money on.
for young Adnan to woo them French girls at?
well it's a massive club and a great opportunity for me
is it a bigger club though? is it bigger?
it's a massive club, one of the biggest in the world
is it bigger than chelsea though? go on, it's bigger than chelsea isn't it juan? say it juan
for me it's a massive club and a big opportunity...
What I like the most about Man Utd is the fact they brought me here by helicopter
Admittedly, not nearly as entertaining or as needlessly defensive as Rafa's.
Over the last few seasons Arsenal have had the least amount of recovery time between games of sides in the traditional top four. Fact.
Manager A: Team B have the easiest fixture schedule.
Manager B: I think you'll find that Team B in fact have the most difficult fixture schedule.
I just enjoyed Arsene mentioning the 'independent study'.
Liverpool or Man City?
I know how you like to hide the fact that your team are from south of the river
It's those twats at Meadow Lane who are on the North bank.
Because as Man U seem to stuff up about five out of every six transfers they go for, it's not going to give Shrek the confidence that MickeyMoyes knows what he's doing.
whats the secret? we bid £10m too little on players we need and £10m too much on players we don't.
for the big water balloon war against a local girls school this summer. the reason he wants cabaye so much is that he has a totally well good super soaker that you can only buy in france. wayne was reportedly persuaded once he saw ed's hand-drawn "blueprints" of the girls' treehouse.
A striker in and Ba out.
Obviously this is all dependant on Wenger's ok first
Fact 1: Trabzonspor mistakenly announced they'd signed Demba Ba last week.
Fact 2: Essien has been unnecessarily moved on- contract was up in the summer anyway.
Fact 3: Mark Schwarzer told 606 that he and his playing colleagues expected another few signings this January, and I assume he has a Rooney-esque full transfer disclosure clause in his contract.
I reckon the club are looking at another signing (no need to move on a foreign squad player who'd be leaving in five months otherwise), but doubt it'll be a big one and wouldn't be surprised if nothing comes of it.
Mata and Essien sales reflect that. The balance of the squad is a lot better but would like to see another striker signed now.
Not a great deal around admittedly, heard someone mention the B word yesterday. Just don't say it three times!
Seems an absolute no-brainer to me that no such deal could ever happen ... I know he and Mourinho are reported to get along well, but Jose has already sold him once and, brilliant though he is at what he does, he's not a high-press sort. Couldn't imagine him chasing people down like Eto'o or Torres, for all their numerous faults, have been doing.
But then my haughty derision of OBVIOUSLY stupid transfer rumours has had a proper kick in the nuts recently.
zat knight to go this week and I will be crying with happiness.
'Seems a big unit. Will hopefully offer some extra pace and physical presence up the park with a couple of our current players a bit powderpuff in that regard (with the obvious exception of Wilf of course). '
he will be very disappointed rather soon.
I liked him. Reminded me of a young Nicolas Anelka at Arsenal. Tall, strong but with lovely touch. Deft finishing.
Fuck knows what happened to him. Still, he scored the winner against United once so maybe he just gave up after that.
When Munster rugby signed then all black leading all time try scorer Doug Howlett, I saw a forum post "never heard of him. Is he good enough to start for Munster?'
This isn't a troll, but I think most of the squad he uses now are same squad that were assembled by Brendan Rogers.
David Ngog isn't even setting the Championship alight, is he?
I think Laudrup's a pretty ordinary manager who had a few decent contacts that have dried up. Surprised he didn't lobby for the Spurs job- he should get himself a move somewhere big before his stock falls.
I think the "he's just well connected and now he's being exposed" explanation is a bit crude and smells of people who thought he wouldn't last 3 months in the first place getting the knives out in a slightly different order. Swansea have always had an excellent scouting system, and they benefited from that in their first season in the Premier League- Michel Vorm in my humble opinion was that year's signing of the season. This term they're a midtable side in the Europa League, suffered an injury crisis and have the simple fact that Michu was never going to replicate his form from a year and a half ago to contend with.
Ngog is an absolutely baffling signing though, no question about that.
Have a nice jolly around Europe and hope the league goes sort of OK in the meantime. I think there's more of a case for the prosecution with Laudrup just because he rarely lasts more than about 2 years in any job but I agree that (this N'Gog incident notwithstanding) he's probably about as good as his record suggests.
knows fuck all about Laudrup's managerial career
Didn't say he will be there in the summer, because I doubt he will. In that he'll only be at Swansea for 2 years or so he won't differ from any other Premier League manager. Just feel you really need to let that time he beat Chelsea comprehensively over two legs in a semi-final go.
When is he coming back?
is a man who will be back by February.
is a bit... I don't want to say nastier, just...different. Guys?
Will have to do re-do acceptance in a few weeks
Still, he was right in saying `Lads, maybe he just doesn't fit into Mourinho's system yeah?` in September time when we were all going `LOL Mata on the bench again Moo hates him 'cos of Real Madrid the spiteful cunt` so maybe there's some comfort in that.
I think they'll win the league. He'll be ok.
he was just parroting the party line in a slightly more eloquent form as is his wont. I think Mourinho did originally exclude him, Luiz and Azpilicueta, and indeed partially decided to get rid of him, on the basis of a psychological wish to reapply his mark on Chelsea as hard as he possibly could. Luiz will be next.
This Mourinho chap sounds like quite the maverick.
Moo's has always been to divide, conquer and then instill a siege mentality in the ones he decides are best able to pick out his drear tune on the field. Unlike Ferguson however he doesn't seem to know when to stop, as epitomised by his time at Real.
dropping a goalkeeper that even the nicest, most experienced yes-man in billionaireball has only touched with a cup match-shaped bargepole?
I wasn't right about Mata at all- I thought with a bit of conditioning work he could adapt fine. He didn't.
I can't stand Mourinho, but I feel like this idea of him being a scheming, machiavellian genius has sprung up without too much to support it. Certainly don't remember him starting that way at any former clubs, even if things went tits up in the end at madrid.
Obviously demands his players buy into his ideas and isn't afraid of butting heads if anyone resists, but don't believe he goes in spoiling for a fight just to show who's in charge.
Even if that was the case, not sure the obvious target would be the mild mannered, universally loved, best player in the dressing room - he's a twat, but he's not stupid. Maybe Mata just didn't match the system and other players did.
Question: Do clubs have to pay for their kit or do they get them free as part of the sponsorship deal?
I thought the #Pumawarchest stuff had been rumbling on for ages.
Hadn't heard those figures before though
Was great to see Gerrard getting booked for berating a lino and I'm sure he'd have got away with that in the Prem. Likewise, saw loads of 50/50 challenges this weekend that weren't fouls whereas on MOTD they'd have resulted in 5 minutes of slo-mo analysis, debating whether or not there was contact and concluding it was indeed a penalty because the defender has a leg and therefore if the striker chooses to run into it, diving en route, it's his fault for not cutting it off.
And I thought: how come most people ref properly and let the games flow more when they're trying to balance the gulf between Premier and lower league sides, yet all modicum of common sense totally evaporates come a top flight game? They let loads of shit go when Barnsley are involved but if it's Hull, every shoulder to shoulder is a foul.
'how is Moyes going to be able to play Rooney, RVP and Mata in the same side'.
Because I'm pretty sure Mata is a midfielder and the other two are strikers, who I know have a tendency to start off deep but that's currently because there's no one good at passing behind them. Not that they're ever fit anyhow.
`just how is he going to be able to accomodate these 3 world class, experienced and versatile players?`.
of seemingly having about 6 midfielders and no one up front. And they both seem to be struggling...
They seem to think it's like David Moyes went out and got leathered, woke up with a bad head and Juan Mata curled up next to him and thought `The fuck did I DO last night??`
properly pissed off both sets of fans.
i get that it can be hard tto ref well on a mudbath of a pitch, but he missed two blatant penalties, the first of which would've ended up with sheffield united's keeper getting sent off and us probably avoiding a really unwanted replay
Ngog, Relegation Roger, STEVE HOLT....Scott Dann should keep his mobile on at all times
God damn football is a precious, pussy sport sometimes.
it's hard to disagree with some of his complaints - his main beefs seem to have been with Phil Bardsley being pictured on a pile of money, Cattermole and co going on the piss a lot and Steven Fletcher laughing when he missed shots in training. If Fergie made these kind of complaints everyone would back him, but because he's a batty Italian weirdo everyone is all lol, look at the silly man.
where his clout as a top flight player would probably command enough respect for his strict authoritarian schtick to work. but imagine being a fellow top flight player and seeing this self-important little prat marching around and screaming at people at the drop of a hat.
i'm sure there probably are a bunch of slovenly half-arses at sunderland who deserve to be bollocked, but nobody's ever going to take di canio seriously as a premiership manager.
think they get to the ball about 1 in 5 times and usually give away a penalty when the player is running the ball out of play. Just seems like a really inefficient way of doing things.
honestly don't know what future billionaireball players are gonna learn playing on a pitch like that. Except how shit cup games away to lower league/conference opposition can be.
Matt Macey (our keeper) is an actual mountain
Then thought 'hang on, don't Chelsea use our ground for these matches?' and sure enough our feeble excuse of a west stand came into view
it IS a bad pitch though
Despite this, and our groundsman being a top bloke, the pitch is indisputably a bit of a mess. All I can say in our (needless) defense is we played on it in the pouring rain two days ago so it hasn't had much recovery time.
Seems like both teams were great at steaming from their own penalty area to the other in about 6 seconds, and then woeful thereafter despite none of the defenders being able to stand up.
also i dunno where the hell the chelsea commentators got 'jon harper' from. Not sure an ex-barcelona player has or will ever have the surname harper (actual surname toral, we have no players called harper).
Mainly watching for zelalem, who seems to be doing the 'arteta' thing, and looks a class above everyone else with his touch and stuff.
They're showing remarkable restraint by not calling them Gooner Shitcunt 1, Gooner Shitcunt 2 and so forth.
I recognise Ake, Feruz and Brown from our lot. Don't really follow youth football any more. Premier League Cup? wtf is that?
the pl cup is a new thing, like that mini champions league one. Apparently they decided youth teams should play as many games as non-youth teams, which i dunno seems a bit pointless. Who am i, though.
where I wonder if I might actually be the only person watching it.
I like that.
who will carry on through it all
But it's no Cantona Number 7 Shooting Star