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Man Utd sign Mata, nowt else happens
Keep United players and fans from becoming even more demoralised by the inevitable defeat by City.
I hate Sunderland but they've made me some money over the years.
And with any luck, the extra pressure will keep them in the bottom 3.
following the lead of Wigan & Birmingham before them
They might be in danger this year too
that Man Utd v Man City has to be rescheduled - I wonder if Sky will try to move it as late in the season as possible because they like introducing the possibility of Man City winning the title there.
(for the obvious reason that for every one transfer rumour lie that accidentally comes true, several hundred others don't) but yeah, it's getting hard to actively disbelieve the Mata story. Might skip straight from denial to acceptance, can't be bothered with the stuff between.
Don't want to see Phil Jones'sssss penalty because it can't possibly be as funny as the BBC live feed made it sound.
They're all on youtube.
Don't think I've had to cope with us selling my favourite player before- it doesn't happen often. Normally they only leave because they're old and want a new challenge.
My Dad tells me this is just like when Jason Cundy went to Spurs but I dunno.
Genuinely gonna cry when I read Mata's first blog about the Manchester tapas scene and how much he loves The Smiths.
I'm not strong enough to see him living well without me. Not yet.
Rooney SPOTTED at Cobham by an incredibly trustworthy source, btw.
It's like your friendly cocker spaniel getting run over and your dad turning up the next day with a brutish, untrained Staff in a muzzle and telling you that's the replacement.
I hope he has a Torres-style nightmare, thus making both Chelsea AND United fans miserable.
chill out, Nestor
could this day get any worse?
JUST FOR THE BANTZ!
He hates that fucker in the top left. Got him right between the eyes.
Perfect aim, really.
If they'd known Mata was available they'd have bought him instead of Roger Johnson
missed the game yesterday so just going to watch these penalties. They better be as funny as people have said. Back in a minute
but I'd advise you to read the BBC's live commentary instead. Much funnier.
Nothing makes you more aware of how these people rob a living than knowing they TROUSER more than my salary in a week and can't even hit a massive rectangle a few feet in front of them
school of penalty taking. but no. a mixture of "lean back and twat it" / "trickle it towards the keeper". great stuff.
searched #mfc on twitter to see what he's like and it's all sex chat. their fans are all perverts
i was thinking of jack reacher
it was over as soon as it became clear who was available to take the penalties. not a single natural finisher left on the pitch at the end. got to credit a couple of those players for even taking one, however shit their penalties were (and they were, indeed, mega shit).
Was he injured?
That was also a lean back and twat it moment. Lucky he wasn't 12 yards away.
Which was pretty hilarious on hindsight.
Still think your captain should've grown a pair and taken one. Evra, not Fletcher.
Have you ever seen him have a shot? Nailed on to be dragged wide of the far post after a complete mis-kick.
evra, rafael, jones, welbeck all totally wild in front of goal.
That depends on Pellegrini nullifying Bardsley, easier said than done in this form
All that is left is for he and Brown to form their usual dark covenant in Bardsley's cellar and buy from Satan the form of towering giants of the game for that single day, in exchange for throwing in a goal for every other team they play against for the rest of the season.
break our world record of biggest ever league cup final defeat
which club comes off best?
I'd think it would Chelsea.
we all know his career is not going to be the longest given that he comes back from every summer break looking like mister creosote. but he would improve their team a huge amount in the immediate term.
Still, for the next couple of seasons I'd see Chelsea bossing it with Rooney, and everyone suddenly remembering how good a player he is.
Which club will come off best? Chelsea. Because they'd be adding a world class player where they need one in place of one they don't use, to a stronger team.
the team that loses one of their vast legion of attacking midfielders in exchange for one of the best strikers in the league to boost an otherwise deeply unreliable forward line, or the team that loses one of the best strikers in the league in order to get an attacking midfielder who doesn't track back to sit with their many other attacking midfielders who don't track back atop a central midfield of Cleverley, Jones and Giggs?
rate Mata a lot and think if they build around him decently he'll be dead good for them in time)
kagawa & januzaj then
I don't expect United to plummet towards actual mediocrity, but I do think that they're just starting out what will be a long, at times painful, rebuilding process. We started dismantling our side in 2010 and we're only now looking like realistic title challengers, and there's a very good chance we won't be quite good enough yet. I see a fair few similarities between United now and that double-winning team. I'm sure United will win a cup or two and probably qualify for the CL more often than not (if there's a 'not' at all) over the next few years, but I struggle to see them troubling the league for a while.
Rooney would be, to trot out a horrible cliche, one of the final pieces in a jigsaw Chelsea have been working on for almost 4 years. Mata would be one of the first in one United are just starting.
Not that it matters. We won't get Rooney, Mata will tell us he never loved us anyway and I'll find a hole to crawl into and die.
unless Rooney *or* RVP is leaving in the summer. Moyes will stick Mata on the wing for now, but that would be ridiculous in the long term. Personally, I'd hope it's RVP to go, based on age and injury proneness, but all signs point to Rooney wanting out.
He said he couldn't loan out Zaha because we didn't have enough cover on the wings. Now Mata's on the way in, and Zaha's on the way out.
Kagawa and Mata as wingers.
Fellaini and Giggs in CM.
Welbeck and Jones up top bashing them in for fun.
Having an attacking midfield three with one winger and two tippy tappy twats is the modern way. Having 'too many' good players in certain positions is a good problem. All the top three are well stocked with options for that 'behind the striker' mini-team. And Mata is better than all your current No 10/false 9 types.
But we've smashed the club record at a time when two of those players are said to be unsettled. That's why I see one leaving in the summer. Probably Rooney, probably to Chelsea.
Just chuck them some more wedge oh no wait you can't you're only the 4th richest club in the universe these days. Unlucky.
(DISCLAIMER: Still really rate him and he'll be a very good player for us)
When Moyes was announced back in April or May last year, few, if any people here actually agreed with me that he was a bad manager. Whether people genuinely thought he was back then, or whether they didn’t really wanna stick their necks out in case they’d be eating their words – how do people generally rate him now? Neutrals as well as Mancs?
Personally – he’s doing even worse than I thought he would. Think I had them to finish 4th and expected them to be in one of the domestic finals, but that he'd still slightly ruin them.
But yeah, I also didn't think he was a good manager by any stretch of imagination. His main quality being consistency with little to spend was worrying given our finances especially that when he did spend big it was on the likes of Bilyaletdinov.
Still don't think he's a good manager but I think he's low down on the list of people to blame for our current situation. That said it's been long enough now for there to be some semblance of what kind of football he's trying to play to be evident and I still have no idea what his plan is.
if we're still shit in a year's time then fine. but at the moment we're playing at the level we should have been playing at for the past two years if it weren't for my sweet fergo and his reign of terror. the transfer bungles in the summer were woodward's fault and the current form is the players' fault.
In fact I don't recall a single United fan saying he was the right man for the job. I'm not kik or Jordan (yet) so I won't go digging up the thread mentioned though.
I know people weren't sure of whether the job was a great fit, but not many people think / thought he was shite. as far as I remember. kik will have it bookmarked. can you email him or something???
But have obviously tried to get on board when the deal was done and give him the benefit of the doubt. So far, he's proved himself to be tactically inept, and I struggle to see how a great United team could emerge with him at the helm (beyond just forking out for the best players in the world).
Realistically, the absence of Rooney, RVP and Carrick for large parts of the season are as much to blame as Moyes, and I don't think he's solely responsible for the lack of motivation of the players... but literally anyone could guide a full strength team to a better points total than we've got at the moment, so it's not high praise.
and i think almost anyone would have had teething problems.
that said, he looks totally out of his depth. i can't think of one thing he's legitimately done well. that's not true, he's 'rejuvenated' young wayne so thats something i guess (though i think part of why rooney's been good is cos everyone else has been shit- he seems to thrive on being the talismanic saviour which actually good teams dont really need). but apart from that everything else has been a mess. transfer window, media handlings, bad subs, supposedly upsetting zaha, rvp, vidic etc., evra and vidic still not resigned, cup exits, you name it. its been a total fucking shambles and if i were a united fan i'd severely doubt that moyes was the man to turn all this around. i expect united to stick with him, and he might become competitive given time, but i really really don't think he'll ever be a truly top tier manager and think united should probably aim higher.
Now, while he's certainly been tarnished by the start he's made, I think it would be daft to dismiss years of really good work on the basis of 6 dodgy months and I'd expect him to get it right long term if he's given the chance.
Whether he (or anyone else) can restablish United as the dominant force in English football is a different question and will largely come down to money imo. That squad's going to need some significant rebuilding over the next 18 months and if the Glazers aren't prepared to compete with Chelsea and City longterm on wages and transfers then I think even Fergie would have struggled.
Not sure his record really stands up to scrutiny when you're looking at a whether he can instil a mentality to go on and win 90 points worth of games. No big wins away, losses in most important games and shit negative football for the majority of his tenure. Good achievement getting a club like Everton in the top half continuously but no evidence he could have done more than that.
didn't sign up to play for Moyes, and in Van Persie's case were lied to by Ferguson, and are more experienced and have won more than him. Created an imbalance right from the start.
He's walked in with an inferiority complex from the start and you never get the sense that he actually feels like he is their superior in a working sense.
the fans by taking RVP off. Job is too big for him and he probably should have had a stepping stone between Everton and Utd.
Sometimes that happens. It's not necessarily a case of him just being good or bad.
Think it's worth pointing out that he has next to no experience of starting a new job and United have next to no experience of new starters.
a private limited company
does that do more than make accounts harder to access? idk. probably should.
Mohamed Salah (Basel) to Chelsea
Raul Meireles (Fenerbahce) to West Ham
Maxi Lopez (Catania) to West Ham
Marco Boreillo (AS Roma) to West Ham
David Ngog (Bolton) to Swansea
Philippe Senderos (Fulham) to Lazio
Antoine Griezmann (Real Sociedad) to Chelsea
Papiss Cisse (Newcastle) to Besiktas
Ross Barkley (Everton) to Chelsea
Georgios Samaras (Celtic) to Sunderland
Dante (Bayern Munich) to Man City
Yaya Toure (Man City) to PSG
Sergi Roberto (Barcelona) to Arsenal
Aaron Cresswell (Ipswich) to Spurs
Adam Smith (Spurs) to Bournemouth
Toby Alderweireld (Atletico Madrid)
Christian Tello (Barcelona) to Arsenal
(I haven't watched the video)
i dont see how making a completely reasonable point about the january transfer window makes him a whingey twat
about still_heres cock being stuck up his arse
but he'd probably be reasonably high up on a list of men i'd have anal sex with, yeah. Definitely in the upper quartile.
but do you do question whether Mr wenger spouts absolute gobshite sometimes?
he's clearly much more intelligent than me and has vastly more experience in the football world. I know it's weird but i often prefer to defer to experts on stuff (who i respect) that i'm not an expert on.
Its kind of like how i don't have my own opinions on quantum theory or the artwork in the sistine chapel.
and what happens when two or more experts disagree...
There are already rules in place to stop players appearing for multiple clubs in cup competitions, and FIFA has sanctions on how many clubs a player can appear for in a single season. There is some cause to question how 'fair' it is for clubs and players to deal like this during a season. Think it would be far less fair to impose what would, be necessity, quite draconian limits on it though.
that his preference would be for the january window to be scrapped completely and for the summer window to last up to the start of the season. That would pretty much solve it, although maybe it would be fair to have a small window for loans that's like a week long, after each team has played 19 games i.e played everyone once (and loanees can't be prohibited from playing against their parent clubs).
That's basically workable, might need a few tweaks but yeah.
whilst this season there's potentially a mutual benefit to Chelsea and United over the Mata transfer (which still hasn't happened), Chelsea are still selling United a world-class attacker presumably on a multiple season contract, it's hardly win-win.
but if you're gonna have a serious competition you might as well make it as fair as possible
but, you know, Chelsea could conceivably play United 7 times next season and get Mata-bummed each time, any slight advantage this season will even out in the end.
Don't get too obsessed with fairness, football/sport is inherently unfair.
Surely it's in the interests of fairness that players can be excluded from games against their parent clubs? It can be a huge conflict of interest to play against your 'own' team and I'd imagine many players secretly prefer to be protected from those games.
The more opaque ways that player movement can be used to to the detriment of rivals are forbidden, but 'fairness' can go too far and clubs have to accept that circumstances change throughout the season. Is it 'fair' that one club gets to play another while it has players injured or suspended and another has to play a full strength team? Is it 'fair' that an opponent can be sent off against you after making a decisive contribution to your detriment and then be suspended for fixtures against your rivals? There's a certain limit to how 'fairness' can be imposed.
obviously sky/the meeedia would never allow it, but i dont see how it actually makes the competition as a whole unworkable. Same goes for stopping the transfer window before the start of the season. Players might get injured and stuff but i think that's actually part of competition rather than an example of unfairness. Besides, emergency loans can stay.
and I can't imagine a strong consensus wanting to close the January transfer window. Football transfer regulations already flout a load of EU regulations, and clubs allow it because most of them are happy with the ways things are. If anyone wasn't, it would be very easy to challenge them in court.
kind of like saying we shouldn't consider the merits of socialism cos society is run by consensus etc
If we were discussing the 'merits' of closing the January window, sure. Maybe that's what you were discussing. I was discussing how workable it would be. It wouldn't be workable because clubs don't want it.
I'm going with "something that made Adam Lallana cry".
A training-ground incident which left defender Jose Fonte with serious facial injuries. The alleged incident took place during a practice match on Thursday.
According to Southampton sources there was blood everywhere after the violent clash during match practice.
Was he not involved when Pards got the can at Soton for [redacted for legal reasons] and then flipping her over and doing it again?
The belief among our fans is that Pardew joked about [redacted] her in front of the players, rather than doing it.
Pardew allegedly got caught [redacted] one of the marketing team and [redacted] a player’s wife and then got a super-injunction to stop the press reporting it in case his wife [redacted].
*answered the door to a steaming Carl Fletcher
I'll be surprised if this doesn't end up involving the police.
Idiot. Doesn't he know that people always come off worse when they mess with Fonte, or did he not get the chance to talk to Pardew about that at St.James Park during the festive period because he was too busy kicking one of the Newcastle coaching staff in the balls?
That'll be the club record signing (15-17million) out on loan for the rest of the season with a cut price sale in the summer. Fantastic... return to what we know best at Southampton- misery. What next, Luke Shaw wanting an immediate transfer?
• he deliberately left when the squad was weak so there'd be a dip after his departure, bringing his achievements into greater relief
• he wanted moyes because he knew he wouldn't try to alter the structure of things too much at the club and would let ferguson hang around like brent, etc
at the weekend which means he's now scored 5 goals in 5 starts this season.
International prestige of the premier league: FAIL
that must be what the rest of the world thinks penalties in all domestic English competitions are like.
I'd guess Mata will be announced very soon then. Bit of pre-emptive PR.
is he the chap Liverpool have been wanking over?
he did say he wanted United to finish top 4 now they're out the title race.
Sell one of his best players to United.
Sign Liverpool's only transfer target for January.
He hates us :'(
championship managering all the best players just so no one else can have them.
who's richer, them or city?
but our new board have a far less predatory outlook than Chelsea's, which will cost us in the short term.
and then subsequently sell him as soon as it becomes apparent that the danger of him being good for somebody else has elapsed.
and the first result was mohamed salah any good?
genuinely interested to know where this comes from?
You're aware of this?
yet another player snatched away after they had been working on the transfer for ages
I'm not disappointed about this individual because I don't know much about him, but I don't like how we quibble over the odd million here or there and lose out on transfers all the time.
The one time we've actually won one of these is with Coutinho, and that's cos the team competing to buy him was Southampton. I guess the true reality of being out of Europe for so long is really biting us on the arse now. Oh well. Brendan knows best <3
he'd been renting a flat in Liverpool and visiting there regularly since last summer. Ordinarily I'd find that funny but today ...
so the fireball has one of those funny confused photos of moyes face on it?or just imagine it, whatever
maybe he remembers what happened to that guy who scored the own goal in USA 94
but this definitely damages their prospects, still have some good players though