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"DHL Finance Jordan speaking."
to the thunderbirds tune
that's the stingray tune. they must think i'm an idiot.
Do you tell them what tune you're singing?
which would be quite good and is somewhat appropriate too. maybe use that next week?
if that makes sense. Everyone else answers it this way, so I do too.
"good [morning/afternoon], [department name], Andy speaking"
"good [morning/afternoon], [company name], Andy speaking, how can I help?"
but if I'm going to answer it, i say nothing more than "Hello" in a bothered voice
"good morning/afternoon/evening [name] speaking"
if it's someone I know, either a "hi [their name]" or something. I dunno. depends who it is I guess.
something like, "[Mr/Mrs/Miss] [Their surname]! How the devil are you doing this fine [morning/afternoon]?"
It isn't me that has phoned them so why should it be me that has to speak first, i dont want to talk to the cunts.
But his redeeming grace was whenever he answered the work phone he'd say (in his gruff Scottish voice), "Hello, Wong's Chinese Restaurant..."
Cracked me up every time.
so whenever the phone rings it will be her, so I just say 'hi'.
doesn't your dad have anything better to do?
WE KNOW WHERE YOU WORK NOW.
that gets all the lolz round the office because I'm such a wacky guy.
I do that thing from that movie yeah, you know the elf one?
oh everyone loves it
I would love this.
because I knew everyone else in the office would genuinely love it. I hated myself a little bit for doing it, but felt nice to be jovial.
then asked mine.
then y'know, back to business.
What IS your favourite colour? My OCD needs to know.
I'll think about whether I'm comfortable sharing it publicly, and let you know.
Normally though it's 'Good afternoon, [insert company name]' in a faux cherpy voice.
Bonjour EPEX SPOT, vous parlez avec LBC
internal: oui, or yo.
I used to have a whole spiel involving good morning, my full name, the name of the helpdesk, how can I help etc. Cut that right down, get straight to the point. Half the time it isn't for me anyway.
or if I can see it is one of the TEAM just Morning! or hiya!
I've learnt if I press ESC as soon as it appears it then it blocks the call so I usually just do that. If its really urgent they'll call back or email me.
No name given unless explicitly requested. I don't want these fucks getting familiar, once they think they've found a friendly voice in a big department they bypass the reception and call you for anything and everything, even if they know it's not in your remit. Learned that the hard way.
anyone who calls me knows they're calling me so don't need to say my name
If they're cool then they do the same back, then I do it, then they do it, and so on for about 5 minutes. By then they've usually forgotten why they called.
because embarrassingly I can't seem to pronounce my own name without fucking it up. It's not even a particularly odd name.
Someone I used to deal with at work just used to answer the phone with "Carpenter" (his name was Carpenter, he didn't work with wood), which I always admired because it sounded so authoratitive. But I've never got the hang of just saying my own surname.
Plus our new office phones often show who's ringing, so often now it'll be "what is it now Adrian?"
Might try it. It's like you've got so little time for their pathetic bullshit you've stripped the exchange down to the absolute minimum.
when you pick up the phone and say 'Hello', then they say 'Hello' but don't elaborate any further. I say 'Yes, hello!' in an irritated voice. Top story.
Depends, if I'm feeling alright I make it a bit 'professional'.
If I CBA, or have had quite a few calls then just 'Hello...'
but when I do, for clients: "Hello [Company Name] wwwo speaking"
for internal people "Hello wwwo speaking"
"Hello, Boots Recruitment, West Division, You're speaking to Jamie, How can I help?"
Used to get bollocked if you took longer than 4 seconds on average to answer and if you just said, hello.
When I got promoted (thinly veiled I'm fucking quality at working in a call centre) to head up the Scotland and Northern Ireland division it was a nightmare as I couldn't distinguish the accents and couldn't pronounce half of the street names properly. Some of the Scottish ladies who worked in the Sauciehall store - honestly, I couldn't understand.
So I usually just say "Hi."
When a I worked in Game years ago you had to use one of their stock phrases to answer the phone. The only one I could get my mouth around was "Good [morning/afternoon], this is Game where you can trade in games for a discount. I'm [leopardprint], how can I help?"
Except for one time where I blanked and just said "Good morning, this is Game where you can... buy games. How can I help?" My manager was standing right behind me unfortunately.
Fuck knows why i do that.
Joke's on you, I don't actually have a job
I thought she might need to call to save you the credit though
'Thankyou for choosing domino's Pizza, home of the hot dog stuffed crust, my name is Nest, how can I help you?'
So he was answering phones jokily (I wasnt) My favourite one of his was "Dave Bring, Head jelly baby designer".
Work mobile: "Hello, Keith Keith's-Surname."
I was once given an official warning at an old job for saying "Thanks," at the end of a call rather than, "Thank You For Calling!"
GOOD AFTERNOON THANK YOU FOR HOLDING YOU'RE THROUGH TO CATHAL CAN I HAVE YOUR NAME PLEASE?
They usually ignore the last bit and just start ranting.
was to unplug my phone so all calls got bounced to someone else. Bliss.