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Hopefully a nice easy fixture next up to ease back to winning ways
*puts on reading glasses, unfolds paper*
Man City (a)
*tucks reading glasses back into shirt pocket*
*carefully folds up newspaper*
*walks slowly into the sea*
*emerges dripping wet from the sea*
*peels dead fish off top of head, calls out to nearby sailor-looking type*
Ho! You there! Are the league cup games televised?
AYE SIR. FREE-TO-AIR LIVE ACROSS THE NATION THEY IS
*stares straight ahead for 10 seconds, nods, walks slowly back into sea*
but I don't think we're going to completely munter you. City have been grinding out results recently not blowing teams away, didn't exactly cause seismic events in Blackburn and Sam'll have you organised into a block shape the width and height of the goal. 2-0 I think.
possibly might be able to come and park the van
Arturo Vidal seems pretty tasty but I'm not sure there is another footballer anywhere in the world who looks quite so knobheadish. I was startled by just how much of a knobhead he looked.
At least they have the advantage of not being as dickish as they look.
imagine forcing through a move from a team who finished third in your last season to a team who will finish about 6th 2 seasons later. I bet he's so pissed.
staring at his Premier League winner's medal and his bank statement, weeping.
from what i gather about professional sportspeople, once they've achieved one goal they pretty soon forget about it and focus completely on the next one. Doubt the fact he won a title and is now stuck in a shit team is much consolation to him at all.
The money might be i guess, who knows.
he'll push for a move and probably get it.
Except this time he'll have a Premier League title and lots of extra money to boot.
Life is pain.
he'd probably have a premier league title by the end of this season if he'd stayed, and a lot of extra money too if not *quite* as much but y'know. BUT ALSO he'd pretty much be a legend by now/end of the season for arsenal fans and could've looked forward to a statue outside the emirates of this http://tinyurl.com/plhkvzg
As it is i'm kinda glad he left cos he's clearly awful and i like everyone in our team, even jack kind of.
(definitely gonna continue to look for angles to laugh at him though)
The guy stuck around in your going-nowhere team for years when you were playing the likes of Andre Santos and Squillaci, and fairly obviously suffered at the hands of your physios/training regimen by doing so. The guy was fairly unlucky about when he chose to move- and apparently got lied to by Fergie just so the great man could have one last parade- but to begrudge him the move for bigger money when he was travelling into his 30s at a team who haven't won anything in forever seems slightly unfair.
Also you haven't won anything yet. And you probably aren't this season either, let's be brutally honest.
i can't be bothered to get into this, maybe someone else can enlighten you.
My point with the trophies was that if van persie played in this team then we probably would win stuff. Probably some quite good stuff.
and the WARCHEST would have been used as a footstool, maybe with a nice throw over it or something.
and less players would have been signed. pointless 'if'.
still don't think its pointless, just not factual or measurable.
If Van Persie hadn't gone to Man Utd, they wouldn't have won the title last year, Ferguson wouldn't have retired, and Man Utd wouldn't be trailing Arsenal in the league.
for when united finish the season ahead of arsenal.
he's got the same medal as mateja kezman and no one will remember him with fondness when he retires. with his ego it's definitely going to hurt him.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN VAN PERSIE WIN THE SOUTH CHINA HONG KONG FA CUP?
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN VAN PERSIE WIN THE SOUTH CHINA HONG KONG FA CUP?
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN VAN PERSIE, EVER SEEN VAN PERSIE, EVER SEEN VAN PERSIE WIN THE SOUTH CHINA HONG KONG FA CUP?
HAVE YOU FUCK!
It was on his blog. Some say it was a suicide note - apparently the reason he both started AND stopped swallowing a bottle of pills was because he loved Arsenal so much
the 2-0 defeat to Partick Thistle has made it mathematically impossible for Hearts to win the league. They are still on negative points after 21 games.
Celtic are still unbeaten, and Dundee Utd's failure to beat Hibs cost me £125 (had a £5 Dundee Utd, Aberdeen & Swansea treble on yesterday).
but I don't look forward to games. As much as people try and convince me otherwise, I think it's impossible to get excited about a competition which your team can't fail to win.
my best pal was at the game, was completely muntered
as a selfless act of charity, meaning they get a replay and half the gate receipts from Hillsborough, and a club that had for a long time been in financial dire straits goes out of its way to help another similarly suffering club survive for that little bit longer.
when they had you completely on the rack in the last fifteen minutes was pretty funny/depressing.
And Boden was only subbed off with a minute to go to waste time. He'd already had quite a few chances and never really looked like he was going to score. Neither of them are really very potent goalscorers, Jennings is so sorely missed.
Hopefully the replay gets on BT Sport.
you may have won 5-0 but when you wake up in the morning you'll still have the second-silliest looking club badge in the land. There, I said it.
Or a walrus.
abd alsemaeel @grandizer7s7s 18h
Just to be clear, you just got served (non-petulantly)
did a cheeky dinked pelanty against you, as part of a thrashing you received from a team playing a centre-back upfront - YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TRY AND DISH IT OUT TODAY.
unorthodox, shoot me
I'm talking about his OTHER team. Arsenal's badge is very nice
Arsenal – good badge, good kit
Aston Villa – poor badge, poor kit
Cardiff – poor badge, poor kit
Chelsea – good badge, good kit
Crystal Palace – average badge, average kit
Everton – shocking badge, average kit
Fulham – ok badge, ok kit
Hull – shit badge, shit kit
Liverpool - poor badge, variable kit
Man City – ok badge, good kit
Man Utd – average badge, ok kit
Newcastle – average badge, ok kit
Norwich – shit badge, so bad it’s good kit
Southampton – shit badge, ok kit
Stoke - shit
Sunderland - shit
Swansea – good badge, good kit
Tottenham – chicken standing on a ball badge, ok kit
West Brom – ok badge, ok kit
West Ham – good badge, poor kit
I really hate our badge, but relative to some in the league I guess it's ok. Sunderland's looks like a one of the made up teams on Pro Evo.
I spend much time during that soggy Palace game admiring it
I love both our kits this year, especially the away kit, black with the red and blue sash. I like our new badge too, a big improvement on the last.
virtually impossible for Man Utd to win the league this season surely? they need to win four more games than Chelsea, Man City and Arsenal, which would be beyond them i imagine.
Even at that stage they needed Chelsea, Liverpool, City and Arsenal to all collapse fairly catastrophically. Three of those clubs are capable of it, but not at the same time.
Starting two players who, I presume, are the progeny of players I'm old enough to remember- FUCK OFF
oh boo hoo
it's football's problem though ant, not ours
Mario Mandzukic (Bayern Munich) to Arsenal or Man Utd
Nikica Jelavic (Everton) to QPR
Kevin De Bruyne (Chelsea) to Man Utd or Wolfsburg
Luuk De Jong (Borussia Monchengladbach) to Newcastle
Julian Draxler (Schalke) to Arsenal
Jean Beausejour (Wigan) to Hull
Jack Hobbs (Hull) to Wigan
Salomon Kalou (Lille) to Liverpool
Dele Alli (MK Dons) to Liverpool
Jack Colback (Sunderland) to West Brom or Swansea
Johnny Heitinga (Everton) to Norwich or QPR
Wes Hoolahan (Norwich) to Aston Villa
Wilfried Zaha (Man Utd) to Cardiff City
Cameron Stewart (Hull) to Leeds Utd
Ishak Belfodil (Inter) to Newcastle or QPR
Clement Grenier (Lyon) to Arsenal
Stephan El Shaaraway (AC Milan) to Arsenal
Will Hughes (Derby) to Arsenal, Liverpool or Man Utd
Xabi Alonso (Real Madrid) to Man City
Abdisalam Ibrahim (Man City) to Stromsgodset
Magnus Wolff Eikrem (Heerenveen) to Cardiff City
Mats Møller Dæhli (Molde) to Cardiff City
Maybe I support Cardiff now
presumed he was still with molde. bit weird how he was just sat with solksjaer then
I think OGS has the same agent as the pair of them. Makes the "homesickness" excuse for Daehli leaving look all the weaker as well.
He specialises in representing Scandinavian players, and Mame Diouf.
He's lurked over our transfer windows like a worryingly plausible, blunt Sword of Damacles for about 6 years now.
Would fucking love Mandzukic too, but can't imagine Bayern selling till summer.
Would be a tidy midfield. Very tidy.
Probably nonsense though.
all his does is try gerrard balls over the top.
with a raking pass. Which is pretty much what he does at Madrid.
try and make it fair for everyone else please.
We got Garcia in to try and make it fairer. Unfortunately with Arsenal still atop of the table we have to act. Which hopefully means another sexy as fuck midfielder and abandoning our relentless commitment to goals.
i'm being serious. i think only iniesta.
As we actually only have two central midfielders of quality and then a big drop off to Garcia or Rodwell.
Alonso just does Alonso balls over the top
But secretly you reckon you can pull it off, and actually convince yourself you'll win?
Then you get dicked anyway and it seems way worse than if you'd just out and out expected to be dicked.
That was Saturday
Then remembered I'm going to Ipswich away on Saturday. Which I imagine will be a quite day at the library. NOT. A right old TEAR UP with the auld LADS.
Never been to Portman Road actually, another one off the list
you can literally* fall off the carriage and into the ground
as you can easily end up tripping over the prostitutes that line the route between the ground and the station.
Distinct lack of action.
Sub thread: Who do you reckon you'll sign in Jan?
I'd like just one more striker has you can't rely on Johnson and Zamora to play more than one in four (also Zamora is properly ready for the knackers yard)
But I'd imagine Harry has a full spending spree lined up - plenty of games in Jan for him to throw to force the board to spend
In reality we'll get an alright striker on loan, maybe.
2 hours after the window closes
as the train passes pulls into darlington, the transfer window closes.
Where we're going* we don't need strikers, defenders or managers.
* the Championship
messi, iniesta, ibrahimovic, lahm and schweinstiger.
maybe one on a permanent deal if the opportunity presents itself
-a backup goalkeeper from non league
we could do with another right-sided defender because for various reasons Pabzab is our only reliable one, and yes we do need a central midfielder owing to how depressingly our solution to that particular conundrum went last season, but it would be a bit much to expect either issue to be addressed now tbf. Another Spanish Dave type deal isn't out of the question though.
Backup keeper, new left back (Aaron Cresswell rumoured), centre back, central midfielder and a striker.
Philips has already been released and I'd imagine we will also release Neil Alexander. Paddy McCarthy will probably be dropped from the 25 as he has been injured for two years, despite making the bench on Saturday.
Elliot Grandin will also be let go and I'd imagine we will sell Dean Moxey to Bolton.
I would also drop Jimmy Kebe from the 25 and I could see Puncheon being sent back to Southampton.
possible surgery based.
The man you're seeing at games is Jeremy Renner in a wig.
interesting metaphor. like wolves who love not blood, but contracts and legal matters pertaining to blood
we don't care who we sign, just sign them!
Significant rumours abound re. Carroll’s prolonged absence from the side – coke, rehab, the club suppressing a failed drugs test, etc.
Meanwhile, Gold and Sullivan tell Big Sam he needs to win some games quick or get fired.
Big Sam laughs in Gollivan’s face and reminds it he already knows too much.
That's it really...
oooh...what if Alladyce's sidekick was an evil dog?
An evil toilet dog perhaps?
develop that angle perhaps?
£15, in london, thought, FUCK IT
direct tube from my work is pretty tidy too. Shame the game will probably be a total stinker
big sam loves a target man.
maybe it was a lie
Decent I suppose
Could be all over by half-time on Wednesday.
this does seem like one of those situations where he'll have a worldy performance though. i'm going to say 2-0 to City now as well
you lose to a side that days beforehand was demolished 6-0 by a promoted team, your closest bum buddy who you signed on a sweetheart deal gets a 4 game ban for onfield idiocy, you lose 0-5 to a championship team, you sign Roger Johnson, then you (probably) lose 12-0 to Man City. And the only two options are either continued employment, or, at worst, a 5000 Luce pay-off.
Never thought I'd say this, but by god do I wish I was Samuel Allardyce.
I bet Sheffield Wednesday are relieved.
How is Anthony Gardner doing for you? I liked him when he played for us a couple of years ago but he was injury prone. When he left he said he left as we lacked ambition and he wanted a chance to get back in to the Premier League.
that guaranteed no one man would ever be relegated more than 'thrice' (3 times)?
Brian Deane scoring the first goal completed the 'spell' (magic).
Greg Dyke got drunk and blabbed to Allardyce, who is now exploiting this old magical loophole.
Also Gollivan's face is involved somehow.
Ashley Ward obviously was not. Ditto Herman Hreidarsson.
he has an excellent chance of having played for TWO teams that could be relegated at the end of this season, taking him to 5 relegations in 4 seasons. Eat your heart out Quashie
as if all they need is decent coaching and a pat on the back to make them back into the world beaters we all remember them as being.
Allardyce has resisted the lure of Zigic for so long
Same genre of terrible face as John Terry, but so much worse it makes Terry look like a Disney version.
Johnson and his whole family are Chelsea season ticket holders
I complained that making him wear a mankini was pretty bottom bants. Asked for an alternative I suggested full kit wanker in a Terry 26 top.
Motion carried unanimously.
Bonus points for a trophy someone else won
Armband is a nice touch though
There's a guy at the Emirates sometimes who sits level with the edge of one of the penalty areas, a few rows from the front, and 'flags' for all offsides, fouls etc in his half. Gets most of his calls right tbf.
Hasn't exactly helped them much from what I can see.
They do love big massive lads with very little pace though.
Him and Loovens built up a good understanding once the latter arrived and he brought leadership to the team
Also, friendly reminder that you only scraped three points against us on the opening day because of a blatant 'homer' reffing the game. You were nothing special at all
The sort of pressure which he typically reacts really well to.
"podolski is back from injury! no need to spend. wait, it turns out he's not a holding striker...no problem tho, as bendtner is back in the goals! no need to spend. wait, he's just been injured...walcott upfront! inspired! no need to spend. wait, he's just been injured...at least Olivier is a 30 a season striker...NO NEED TO SPEND!"
nice that Judge_B popped in today eh?
au revoir sam
(to one of the richest teams on the planet)
5 men sitting in a bar: Mr. Wenger,
Mourinho, Mr. Rodgers, Mr.
Moyes and Mr. Martinez.
The first round of
beers was on
Mourinho, he bought a portugese beer
of the others.
second round was on Martinez, he
everybody a San Miguel.
The third round was on Wenger, he
everybody a glass of red
The fourth round was on Rodgers, he
bought a pint to the guys,
except for Moyes.
Then Mr. Moyes said 'Hey guys what
Rodgers looked at him and said 'Sorry
David, this is the
fourth round, and you are NOT in it'..XD
someone else came up with this great alternative punchline
Rogers said to Moyes; your club has won enough wait for nxt year
and been released from any obligation to return the favour.
without crying with laughter at my desk and then you linked that account again.
The two third round replays to be shown on TV are City v Blackburn and Fulham v Norwich.
now we'll definitely lose
would be nice to see us cunt united at bramall lane before all their fans come into the bar i work at and act like nobheads.
I may come up because one of my best pals (who lives in Glasgow) is a blade so it's near enough a meet-in-the-middle
I don't think either of us should be expecting to get past them tbh
Typical. They'll probably go and get the classic new manager win against us at the weekend now.
hopefully he can recover quicker. doesn't look good though.
unless wenger pulls his finger out in january. anyone know when oxlad's back?
possibly even theo's career at the top level done, too, depending on what it does to his pace.
you were at the top before he came back, right?
if he is and arsenal don't buy a striker...granted
giroud was unwell not injured.
largely down to ramsey being one of the best players in the world for a few months. Cant really expect him to keep that up for a whole season in theo's absence.
but it's not...good.
walcott's the most direct player in the squad and he makes a huge difference to how other teams approach arsenal, even if he does play like shite half the time. without him teams can be more confident playing a higher line and all that tactical bollocks.
there's no way anyone's getting signed this month to replace him so we'll be relying on gnabry and ryo a lot for the rest of the season ffs
crowley has 4 assists and 2 goals in the u18 cup game going on atm... #saviour.
to give fit olivier a rest as well.
that was easy.
He's not as fast (who is?) but he's similar in terms of directness and finishing. And he doesn't look as fucking confused all the time.
out of the squad tonight.
and that ballon d'or nomination