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Could I get feedback on my reviews guys?
This is a band I reviewed from this very site.
I can't just read it normally. I have to rewrite every sentence in my head as I go, it's so distracting.
I find it asks questions but provides no answers.
review of your review of his review of the reviews with a view:
..accurate but uses a rather tired postmodern approach and contains an unrepresentative pastoral view.
most of the sentences are too convoluted and don't flow especially well
But bravo on your effort.
I find a good exercise is to go back over it yourself and rewrite it as dry as you possibly can, with no flourishes or adverbs or possibly even adjectives. Try to keep the sentences really short. That way you're left with just the content of what you're trying to say.
Now go back through it and you'll realise where your previous draft was tying itself in knots and adding unnecessary frills. Build it up slowly from there.
and though reading the review with resultant confuddling indistinctitude of subject and object and babbling brook-type overflowing of adverbs made said eyes hurt, etc. etc., the actual content of the review sounded good to me. You're obviously a big music fan, and you're well within your rights to want to review it, but the reviews needn't read like attempts at poetry. Have a read of this if you want your writing to appeal to people like me (and ignore it if you don't 'cause mine is obviously just one opinion).
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDEQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fiis.berkeley.edu%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2FPolitics_%2526_English_language.pdf&ei=OW2SUs3ZJ87xhQe6oICYCA&usg=AFQjCNHWZNA1sob6d6ebcr2Ttfu2nLBzPw&sig2=maYC-iwW8iWsE_lQkkrk1w (it's Orwell's 'Politics and the English Language)
I have a singles column too. I enjoy writing about music and whilst I'm still getting FUCK ALL money for it, and even DiS won't entertain me writing for them, I still do it.
However, and here's the truth: Almost all music writing is utter fucking turd. I sometimes know when I'm writing turd. It's difficult to get out of. How many different ways can you talk about music?
Sometimes you get a good idea and do it one way or another, but essentially, I'll start reading a review - of any standard, from NME and Pitchfork (lol) to someone's blog, and immediately I'm bored off my tits.
It's a very difficult thing to do and most people fail miserably. Myself included. Unless it's an interview with someone you love, most music journalism is ultra shite.
Sorry. That includes everyone.
made it well worth it guys!