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Post hilarious advice/anecdotes below so I can read them later before I go out.
She's Colombian, to get things rolling.
while i was on the bus on my way home i got a text from her apologising for boring me
and used it to show everyone in the pub her wedding photography portfolio
I have witnessed this phenomenon twice.
but she said she wouldn't sleep with people that didn't know about art and she start testing me about art. after a while she was satisfied but she had a really weird belt on and i couldn't work it out so i went to sleep on the couch
whatever the fuck that is...
was quite an odd experience. Are all those people supposed to look good or were some there to show you what not to do?
but surely the absolute clart in the hat and glasses is the one who needs advice on how to dress?
Awful colours, wtf
I've told the story before though. Can Wza find it or something?
I was 16. It was awkward.
who was quite pretty.
something something shut up deadonthestairs
and be casually humming it when you rock up to meet her. She'll be all 'is that?....' and you can say 'my favourite song of all time? you fucking bet!'.
Then sing all 11 verses, refusing to stop when waiter comes for drink orders.
Updates: the excruciating date girl asked me out twice more after that. She is also the subject of the "facts about fish" anecdote which I've posted before but can't find.
I've been finger-banging the comedy night girl with my dry, dry fingers for nearly a year now.
The first subthread in that thread really makes me laugh.
LBC: An escobar!
Date: What... did you ju... my parents were murdered by Pablo Escobar
LBC: No, I said a DISCO bar.
Date: Take me now, monsieur Philippe.
So that one is avoided. I wanted to go to L'Entree des Artistes because it plays J-Dilla and Madlib all the time but she picked the other one...
but what are you doing tomorrow night?
you've ruined date night
my plane gets in to Orly at 9:45 then we go to our apartment in the Marais so I guess I'm not ready to hit the town (if I'm not totally knackered) until around 11pm
but 11 is a good time to go out in Paris - if you're not working the next day
how does it sound to join you there around that time?
Sounds good. I'll send you my number.
She'll be up for it
but I think I was ill on the day we did chatting people up.
so that you don't confuse them.... with mountains
say "yo soy puta madre!"
the literal translation looks foul and strange, but it's not offensive and will make you look well cool.
i need to get booked in before then
She recoiled and maybe an hour later, she went home to do some work.
I was 40 minutes late though, so maybe she factored this in.
surprise tickets to go and see a show.
She was a massive racist with a snortlaugh and we went to say the Wizard of Oz, which she found hilarious.
Bar was like a peyote sweat lodge though.
She's in Lille this weekend though, otherwise we would have swayed wildly to jazz (tm) as Gilles Peterson is in residence in Paris Saturday and Sunday.
And they guy looked nothing like his photo. I told him I was pregnant, he seemed okay with that.
I have tickets for the opera this sat and thought that'd be a good thing to ask her along to but haven't seen her in there for a while, either she's a) off on holiday b) been sacked c) pre emtived me asking her out and quit?!