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Which of thse gimpy whinges about pubs do you agree with:
(3, 4, 7, 9 and 10 for me)
i'd add in pubs where the music is too loud though
caps. not funny or even true.
Had two pints.
I bladder of steeled it and then had the nice surprise of asparagus piss - forgotten I had had any (not in the pub!).
There used to be a pub in Croydon called the Grouse & Claret, and their toilets were like a fridge. And the toilets at the Prince Albert in Brighton are nothing more than a lean to in the garden. Unnecessary.
Fuck going to a gastropub with a nice warm pissy toilet.
= makes the smell of piss way worse
which is ghastly
Number 6 (the soundcheck) probably the least.
i got some lemon the other day and the barman said 'ooooh, that's a big bit of lemon'. (he was gay).
It wasn't that big.
But yeah - weird preserved lemon slices instead of actual lemons. Can't be much cheaper. Stupid twats.
I dont think Id get on with them. A pubs a pub. Not a costa that sells beer.
Then I consider it more of a restuarant
Unrelated but my housemate's girlfriend has just text me asking if I can check him in and print his boarding pass for a flight tonight, as she's forgotten to (this is his birthday present from her).
Have done it all, but then taken the PDF and photoshopped a letter out of his name and swapped the month & day of his birthday around, and send her a photo to show I've done it okay.
She's on a train with limited signal so I'm hoping to really panic her.
Feels pretty good.
What a waste of time.
I can't agree with 7.
I don't what these chods to be served ahead of my merely because they're wafting a tenner in the barmaids face. Learn some manners.
5. and 3. are inexcusable.
My main gripe is with over-priced contemporary gastro pubs which all have the same quirky decor, the same tables, the same twatty staff and the same cunty clientele. Every single pub in East London is turning into one of these. And I HATE it.
Bet they're all Guardian readers too.
might et a round or two in.
The rest are a bit silly, though. What sort of berk moans about not getting their beer in a branded glass, ffs?
Oh, that'll be me then.
it's shit, seriously slows you down.
EXCEPT when they offer to bring your Guinness over once it's done.
Fuck off sofas
I think it is.
Please stop posting.
No one wants a damp table. No one.
Also, when you're buying a big round and they don't have a tray.
*smashes up hypothetical pub*
i always thought it was to stop the table getting chips and marks
Also needed for securing wobbly tables. Fucking greatest invention ever.
the beermat fell straight on the floor without him touching it. hard to exactly describe the look of sadness on his little face.
on mute are the worst. draw's people's attention to them even if you're not interested in what's actually on. kills conversation.
Better to avoid going to the pub with boring people I guess
2) a toilet has to be pretty bad to be worth complaining about
3) i dont like tvs in pubs
4) yeah, give at least 20 minutes to drink a drink. have had some really shit times when you pay for a round and then they tell you to leave
5) getting stuff in the right glass is a nice little perk of going to a good pub, especially if you're drinking something that's come from a bottle. makes paying over the odds feel a little less shit
6) i go to so few pubs that have live music (rather than real venues that serve as good pubs, like the windmill) that soundchecks aren't an issue, and even if it was, it's not worth complaining about
7) yeah, complicated orders should be a different queue to simple orders, but that'd need a complete change of pub culture. i've never been anywhere that does this, beyond maybe village locals where they know what people will be ordering anyway and get that going in between another order. great sentence there
8) never been molested in a pub. was in a wetherspoons the other night where there were old men who seemed to not want me there, but fuck it, what's anyone going to do about that? im pretty objectionable
9) i was in a pub the other day and ordered a rum and coke for someone else. barmaid had great difficulty finding any rum, and when she did, there was less than a measure in it and it was all a waste of time, when there was loads of rum clearly there. i think people should make an effort to be a bit ok at their jobs, generally
10) yeah if you get a shitty little bit of lemon in a gin and tonic, you dont order another one do you?
He's tried to come up with a diplomatic solution when the actual answer is that people who drink coffee in pubs deserve to die.
Or a snakebite?
Ice, spirit, mixer, slice of lemon/lime.
Anything more is a cocktail.
A cocktail is an alcoholic mixed drink that contains three or more ingredients—at least one of the ingredients must be a spirit, one sweet/sugary and one sour/bitter.
Cocktails were originally a mixture of spirits, sugar, water, and bitters. The term is now often used for almost any mixed drink that contains alcohol, including mixers, mixed shots, etc. A cocktail today usually contains one or more kinds of spirit and one or more mixers, such as soda or fruit juice. Additional ingredients may be sugar, honey, milk, cream, and various herbs.
To sober/perk you up a bit in the middle of a long session.
he sounds liek a tit
"particularly if it's Greene King IPA."
it's just the sort of thing that a boring prick says
And you specifically went in there to drink an ale, you don't think you'd be a bit pissed off if all they had was the shittest, lowest common denominator stuff there?
He's written a list of things that some pubs do badly, and which make people stop going to that pub, and you're agreeing with him.
Any njon-lond9oners would just choose to go elsewhere as this particular establishment doesnt sell what you want. You however have decides to get whiney and moany no doubt berating the poor schmuck behind the bar so you can go and tell all your dickhead mates how THIS SHIT PUB doesnt even sell real cask ales!
"particularly if it's Greene King IPA." on the way out the door
a tit nosed dicky knob
if you love him so much why dont you marry him
there have been a lot worse on that show.
because of the shitty brewers being money grabbing dicks.
One of the great things about it was the varied selection of decent ales and ciders.
Went in there last week and the only cider they had was Strongbow, Somersby (the name almost tricks you into thinking it's good until you realise it's made by Carlsberg or some other crap) or Old Rosie. So the choice is drink utter piss or get utterly bladdered.
I don't think it's going to last. Really, really sad :(
it's closer to your house and has a million ciders and 8 ale taps <3
when I walked past the darts to get to the toilets, that put me off for a bit.
We had friends at The Retreat :(
The stuff is phenomenal.
and a load of other ciders of varying strengths.
i CAN'T DRINK oLD rOSIE ALL NIGHT, i LIKE GETTING DRUNK BTU i DON'T LIKE FALLING OVER
some of them are pathetic. "dirty toilets" what a fadge
not heard that for years
really does ruin what is an otherwise great place to drink. Hopefully it's better now but it really used to be foul
to be fair, they are so far underground that they are basically in the sewers
I'm more wound up by slow inept staff or seating plans that means it's impossible to actually move in the place.
that a pub (actual pub pub) and its quality can be directly correlated with how much of a pisshead/cokehead the landlord is. I.e. more pisshead worse pub
pisshead landlord = dirty carpets, sticky tables etc.
Love a pub where the landlord is a bit of a mess.
toilets with no lock. just let me shit without fear of someone walking into the cubicle.
Where my friend's front teeth were imbedded in the bathroom wall, left undisturbed for about five years. Pubs aren't for you mate, just sneak a few bottles into your local library.
without, y'know fearing every second your there that someone's gonna pull your teeth and hammer them into the wall
Somebody that has been a pub more than once should how it works: you get shouted at to leave. The bell means you have x amount of time, that means you have x amount of time. You've spent the whole night complaining to the bar staff about the size of lemon wedges, the smell in the toilets, being precious about what glass its in, other people in the pub that the staff can't do anything about... at least let them get home on time.
Also a pub that was created to these guidelines would just be a GOOD pub, doesn't mean those that break these rules are bad pubs. They're just... most pubs.
Don't get why people want every consumer experience they have to be individually catered and novel each time. Your local is your local because its local, not cos its good or your favourite one. There's nothing unadventurous or wasteful to pass up going somewhere particularly good to go somewhere you're comfortable in and is fine.
Basically marckee comes off badly in this thread as usual.
Was making a drink for a person. She started getting Kahlua and ice and mixing it in a tumbler, then she poured it into a glass and took it to the person buying it (this took quite a while). Then - just when I thought I could buy my pint if beer - the person that was with the person that had bought the strange tumbler drink lifted up the cocktail book and pointed to the drink that was wanted by the new person.
That was a long wait to get served.
A couple of weeks back I was waiting to get served and there was a guy that walked up to the bar after I did. He was kind of 'holding court' next to the bar. One if his friends walked in just as I was about to get served (as the bar maid was returning the previous persons change) and asked what flavour the crisps were. Genius move - the bar maid could only serve them before me. I think it took about 10 minutes before the whole party was catered for - allowing for friends that pealed in the meantime.
Ah, fuck it. What I'm saying (In the first instance) why can't women just buy normal drinks?
There's no obligation on a pub to do owt else. Sure, the clientele, atmosphere, absence of music and tv etc are all ways to make decent enough pub better, but if you're getting a good pint at a good price, the pub is alreet.
beer is good quality and is just £2.80 per pint
come on down
£2.80 per pint isn't »decent«, it's merely within the bounds of normal, so ragging on the klan and nails stuff is legit. knock 30p off the price and the decor is no longer a problem.
I was enjoying genuinely (a choice of three) great ales the other night for £1.90 (with three local ciders also on tap at that price). The place was, naturally, as rough as arseholes, but a great pub nonetheless and I'd go back without hesitation rather than to an »ALL LIVE SPORTS SHOWN HERE« waste of space churning out »Dark Fruits Cider, by Carling« to LADs wearing polo neck shirts.
I'll get 'em in. What're you having?
increased price often IS a mark of quality, or at least is in the pubs i drink. You get the odd one where you can get a good pint for under £3, or the occasional chavvy joint which somehow gets away with charging £4 a pint for piss, but generally speaking you, or at least i, find that it's a case of paying a bit more for nicer surroundings and well kept ales where the riff raff are priced out, or refusing to pay it and getting bang average lager in a bang average (at best) pub.
Average for a pint of of good ale in a nice pub locally is probably nearing £4 now, and i don't really mind paying it, tbh. I think it's a fair price to pay for more knowledgable staff, a more pleasant environment, a higher class of clientele, aswell as a better range of better kept beers.
As i said, there are exceptions to the rule, but they're quite rare. When i was a bit younger i used to embrace 'proper' pubs; the backstreet shitholes full of 'characters' where you have to wipe your feet on the way out, but you grow out of that sort of thing, and if you don't, well, that's a bit unfortunate.
If you want a comfortable pub, that's perfectly reasonable. I'm asucker for it, too. But the basic rule still stands. Decent beer + decent price = pub is fine. Anything else is just personal preference.
In every pub in Manchester there's always an unecessarily loud southerner. Always has a huge, booming voice. Always talks out of their arse. Always broadcasts too much stuff for the attention of the whole pub. Always requires too much of the barperson's attention.
Recently i've asked a couple to turn the volume down a bit. Both reacted with absolute horror like i was being completely unreasonable. Maybe there's some perfectly acceptable reason, i don't know, but it's probably just ignorance. Pubs, during the day at least, should be quiet. A bit of a buzz is nice, but you don't want one person putting on a show for the entire place, like.
That aside, i don't have too many whinges. If we're taking the beer being good as a standard, they'd all be noise-related, really. Don't want music, don't want tellies, don't want staff on their mobiles. Just a bit o' decorum, ffs.
They're all northerners to us, though.