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How long did you leave it? Regrets (I've had a few)?
On accounts of how she's started a PGCE which is half an hour from me but would've been two hours from her at least.
We've been together for nearly two years, we'll be looking to get our own place sorted once all her student finance is sorted and we know what we can afford.
No regrets thus far although her starting a really stressful course at the most stressful time of year for me work wise hasn't been great fun.
we moved out and got our own place after 9.
No point hanging about is there
It was fine before, and it's been fine since.
I find that really, really odd.
including being apart at uni. SO THERE!
Get over it
If you're an adult and you're in a serious relatio ship and it's going well, why woudln't you live together?
Different strokes for different folks and all that, it just strikes me as strange.
so felt no need to change things. My girlfriend lived in a fucking beautiful house too, and she knew that moving in would me would mean she'd lose that and is pretty sure she'd never live in a house that nice ever again. So, we delayed it based on that as well. Plus my girlfriend is the skintest person I know, so we had to wait another year for her to be able to save for a deposit to put on a flat. Plus we've historically had quite an up and down relationship, meaning we gave it a bit of extra time to see if we were right for each other/right to move in together. Plus we couldn't give a shit about social conventions around such matters or about what anyone thinks about it being strange. If you want a full and frank answer, of course.
I think your point below about your partner being your best friend is immensely strange, but each to their own.
can still afford a deposit on a flat, you probably don't know many people.
Typically 6 weeks rent. Divided by 2 this is 3 weeks rent. So c. £700.
2/ don't want to spend all your time together
3/ different priorities about where you want to live
4/ might want to live with your friends
5/ be more flexible to potential changes in circumstance
lots of reasons
Wide and varied ennit.
Although I have to say I don't really get this `need your own space` stuff. If you need your own space - tell your partner and then either you or them can swan off for an evening/weekend. Girlfriend needs her own space? Awesome - I'll go to the pub and watch the match.
Depends on how much space you need, but I've never found space being something that you can't negotiate.
just that there's no rulebook for these things
(and I meant mental space as much as physical space. but I'm someone who's not particularly outgoing and i like having my personal space, so you know, each to their own etc)
And yes, absolutely each to their own.
and we've been together a year. Next step is somewhere on our own.
No need to put a timescale on it, man.
I'm slightly skittish because I've twice had a relationship nosedive after moving in together. Although both those times were with the same person, so WHOLE BIG BAG O' WORMS.
moving in is gonna happen at some point. Just go for it now, saves wasting time worrying if it will split you up or not. It'll either go well and you'll be happy or badly and you split up but that would have happened at any point that you moved in if that happens anyway.
happened with me because she moved out of her old place, and had a month in play before her friends were going to be available to rent with. so just sort of said: try a month here and if it all bollockses up because we did it too early, then you can go on to move in with your mates. and she stayed
two or three years?
if you aren't in the same place together by the end of it END IT!
been grand so far, don't think there's a set time-frame but anything less than about 6 months i'd maybe think was a bit too soon but everyone's different eh?
Except be willing to upset her a little bit. Only a little though, don't be a hero.
That's where it always seem to fall apart for me. I need my space too much. Ideally we'd each have our own place and take it in turns to stay with each other for a few days at a time, with a few days 'off' inbetween. In fact this is my idea of heaven.
and although to begin with it was rocky, it's actually worked out well for both of them now. neither wants to leave the place they've bought, so they're together in each others' houses for about 4 days of the week, with three days apart. you can see that it's something they both prefer!
Also, I think it keeps things fresh. It's an expensive option though...
The best thing about moving in with your other half is that you don't have to bother arranging when you're going to see them.
it doesn't work so much for me, mainly because i'm so tired after work that the idea of going anywhere but home just seems too hard
having the right clothes in the right place can be a bit of bummer
You can afford a hooker though so it's a tough call
Living with other cunts- awful.
Living with the gf/wife- pretty, pretty good
I lived on my own for a long time. It was much better than sharing with good people or bad people. I miss it.
You enjoy your own company
We both had our own places, but mine was in London and hers wasn't so I made her move to me...
i don't remember it seeming a particularly big deal, just do what feels right y'all
It didn't last.
Don't have timescales but for the love of god remember that it's a nice idea but it's also like being married and give each other space.
It probably would have been sooner if we hadn't had our own mortgages and stuff to sort out. She was pretty stressed for the first month, not being in her own place, but it was cool after that.
I do know that the only time I get any peace and quiet these days is either in my shed or when I take a dump.
But as it happens, it was the best thing I could have done.
then two years after renting together we've just bought a flat together. It's pretty good.
I get well tetchy after about 3 hours with anyone
they do crossstitch, or whatever.
I can confirm that after one night, things are still going well.
It's 18 months into a relationship, which may be a bit soon but it doesn't feel like it at all.
live in separate houses. They've been together for as long as I can remember (25 years).
Living with your partner is boring and crap unless you have kids (i've never done it)
Why is it boring and crap?
and who you share loads of mutual interests/tastes with is reallly boring and crap.
but she's married with kids, my boyfriend is my second best friend. He gets really upset because I still say that if I was stuck on a desert island and could only have one person with me, it'd be Maggie.
She is funny as fuck though.
I'd take one of the lads over my girlfriend any day of the week.
and expect to stay together. I mean, you can, but it's pretty unusual and she probably won't be able to help feeling that you don't want to be with her anymore, even if you really want to stay together but you'd just prefer to live alone.
no regrets but I also wouldn't mind living alone (or in a commune with other women) and have him come and take me out and stay over and stuff.
I still get excited when I know he's almost home from work
Once was awful (I secretly knew I didn't want to be with her). The other was ace and literally felt totally right.
If you feel like you want to, do not delay. Woot woot!
(it was a reference to the 'woot woot!')
Just because he is black? Pig!
Sounds odd I know but things have just never been quite right for us to do it (jobs, periods of unemployment etc). Some weekends I go up to hers, some weekends she comes down to mine. Same with weekdays so we still see each other most days. Works great really but yeah, we're hoping to be moving together soon.
Now lived together a year and in our second place.
It's good, though I can't trust her to do the vacuuming.
but it's nice to have time to myself. If we lived together I'd never get any work done. Also he needs to learn to cook so that I'm not cooking every night.
Watching period dramas without a big baby sat on the sofa next to me wahwahwahing about how boring it is and get it off now, until I turn it off.
Some other stuff.
when you're not used to it. That hour in the morning she gets up before me, it's fucking luxury.
Forget the stuff about building a home with the person who 'completes you' or any of that guff - it's the stuff like this that makes it all worth it.
Stop making my brain hurt
Regrets: a few
What a pair of idiots. But, y'know, we were smitten and excited and didn't realise how poor an idea it was to move in so soon and that we'd spend the next three years at each other's throats all the time. Good times. It's different for everyone but I think you need to have at least figured out what kind of arguments you have when you get fucked off at each other, and how you behave to each other in that situation. It can be pretty fucking dark not finding that out til you live with each other.
In a very happy relationship right now, just over a year now, and we're not making plans any time soon. We spend two or three days a week together and it's lovely. No hurry.
Unofficially: Since the day we were together, so nearly 4 years.. She lived in the campus room above me, then we never really spent a night apart for the rest of university despite living in separate houses in second and third year. Moved in together in June 2012 I think.
But fuck that, I'm just in a bit of a downer today.
Like others have said when it feels right do it, the 3 years me and her live together were by a fucking mile the best years I've ever had.
Nothing beats coming home to some you love and can't wait to find out how their day was, to chew the fat, catch up, take forever making dinner with a few glasses of vino, listening to music, jumping about like idiots, taking it
easy on the sofa, looking after the other one when they've had a shit day, cosying into each other as you go to bed, waking up the next morn and giving them a wee kiss when you get up to jump in the shower.
It's always the little things! :)
I then moved to Texas a month later. She moved there a month after that. Over three years later we are currently married and sitting on our couch eating chips.
:) Hope you're good pal.
Congratulations...a true happy ending for once :)
He wanted me to move in after 18 months but I just wasn't ready (I was still living at home rent free and had already lived with someone which didn't work out/was way too soon). Waiting and not forcing it was the best thing. He's the most annoying person ever but a great person to live with. He is terribly laid back which is good and bad. Been living together for 10months now and can't see being any other way.
Oh and we got a cat after 3 months of living together which is AMAZING. Now need to convince him a million cats are better than 1 baby.
So yeah, do it whenever it feels right and don't feel pressured into it otherwise it may not work for you. No time limit.
kind necessitated by circumstance but i think it'll be good
One of the couples have been together for over ten years, the other nearly twenty. Obviously paying two sets of rent and bills isn't really ideal lots of the time, but kinda think it's really nice, though, in theory. Certainly see why it would make for healthier long-term relationships if both parties have their own space whenever they want. I really resent routine, y'know, and spending time discussing/doing trivial things with people whose company you value, so think it'd work for me, really.