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FAO LME

Songs_about_ducking [Edit] [Delete] 124 replies 12:15, 9 October '13

HAHABHAHAHAHAHA you shit cunts: http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/oct/05/crap-towns-london-bradford-chipping-norton

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  • Whoever compiled that list is clearly crazy

    York? Chipping Norton?!

    difference between not liking somewhere and somewhere being crap

    Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:16 | X
    LdnMetropolitanElite this'd this
    • It was voted on by the public.

      So: yes.

      thewarn @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:17 | X
    • whoever voted York as a shit town

      is a bell end.

      The rest - fair game.

      berksy @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 13:41 | X
      badmanreturns, TheSoundofBastards, pip_, and Antelope this'd this
  • Good to see Gibraltar in there.

    Plenty of worse towns in the North West than Bradford though.

    thewarn | 9 Oct '13, 12:17 | X
    • bradford ain't in the north west, dawg

      Verbal @thewarn | 9 Oct '13, 12:20 | X
      • I know. Not sure why I added west.

        thewarn @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:21 | X
  • they hate our freedoms

    Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 12:20 | X
    ohgood, Royter-Hatfood, LdnMetropolitanElite, meths, and aboynamedgoo this'd this
  • good to see York in there, glad someone else realises like i do it's horrific

    all the things it says about London are true in some sense, yet i still love it. and that's all that matters really

    brusma | 9 Oct '13, 12:18 | X
    • do you not like york then brumsa?

      chickenbones @brusma | 9 Oct '13, 13:43 | X
  • Aren't these mostly cities?

    stickboy | 9 Oct '13, 12:19 | X
    andyvine this'd this
  • london is shit!!! lol

    ethricdouble | 9 Oct '13, 12:19 | X
  • The first crap towns book is a horrible, horrible read.

    GetOffMyLawn | 9 Oct '13, 12:19 | X
  • We beat Chipping Norton?

    I'm not too upset...

    ChintzyLacroix | 9 Oct '13, 12:20 | X
  • also, where the feck is swindon on that list?

    Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:20 | X
    nebbie this'd this
    • Or Reading

      moker @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:53 | X
      • fuck off moker

        chris-budget @moker | 9 Oct '13, 17:04 | X
    • and Redditch.

      where the hell is Redditch.

      we_blew_it @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:54 | X
  • Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 12:22 | X
    LdnMetropolitanElite, andyvine, and berksy this'd this
  • so essentially most of the people who don't live there hate it

    fair enough.

    wewerewerewolvesonce | 9 Oct '13, 12:22 | X
    • Envy is a wonderful thing

      Raanraals @wewerewerewolvesonce | 9 Oct '13, 12:27 | X
  • Hard to argue, apart from bradford

    Nestor | 9 Oct '13, 12:24 | X
  • Who knew that there were so many bitter people with chips on their shoulders?

    marckee | 9 Oct '13, 12:24 | X
    Raanraals, LdnMetropolitanElite, and alcxxk this'd this
    • is this because northerners love bitter and chips or what

      ideserve2 @marckee | 9 Oct '13, 12:26 | X
      Cementimental, TheoGB, and Jamienaz this'd this
    • marckee did

      thewarn @marckee | 9 Oct '13, 12:46 | X
      Songs_about_ducking, Lucien, Royter-Hatfood, umlaut_ampersand, nebbie, andyvine, Jordan_229_2, chickenbones, berksy, TheSoundofBastards, alcxxk, PickledOeuf, TheoGB, and foppyish this'd this
  • chipping norton always sounded to me like a Richard Curtis follow up to Finding Nemo.

    Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:26 | X
  • No argument with the other criteria but this is weird

    ... a transport system that abandons late-night revellers to the mercy of rickshaws, minicabs or night buses.

    What other methods of transport are available in these other towns to get home in the evening? Public helicopters? Segways?

    Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 12:32 | X
    LdnMetropolitanElite and moker this'd this
    • ^this

      Presumably these other places are so amazing that no one ever goes out in them.

      marckee @Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 12:35 | X
      LdnMetropolitanElite this'd this
    • Isnt it more that other cities / towns you can get a taxi for £10 to get home

      but London is so massively sprawling you have to sell a child to pay to get home?

      Songs_about_ducking @Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 12:36 | X
      • or get a bus

        for £1.50

        Verbal @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 12:38 | X
        LdnMetropolitanElite, ethricdouble, berksy, and NickDS this'd this
        • Do you seriously expect people to get a bus?

          Some people have an arts degree from a polytechic you know!

          Songs_about_ducking @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:40 | X
          monoshono this'd this
          • i used to get buses back home from nights out in manc

            is it really seen as a bad thing? meh

            Verbal @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 12:45 | X
            • Outside of cities, there is still a lot of stigma attached to buses.

              It's just a symptom of being a little backward, that's all.

              marckee @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:49 | X
            • I've paid for a taxi less than a ten times in all the time I've lived here I think

              But that's because I'm tight. Would rather take 2 buses that take an hour for three quid (or "free" if you already have a weekly card) than wake up in the morning knowing I've paid £40 to get home in 20 mins

              Lucien @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:49 | X
              • I think the point is that night buses are often awful

                and take forever, and taxis are eye-wateringly expensive comapred to other cities. I remember when I was a naive oneday travelcard yokel visiting from the provinces and got a taxi from Highbury to Tottenham Court Road for a mere £allmymoneyever.

                Royter-Hatfood @Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 12:55 | X
                • yeah, they are shite.

                  all the menace is usually contained on the top deck though

                  Lucien @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 13:03 | X
                  • Memorable trip sat in the middle of the back seats on the top deck

                    Inadvertently placing myself between a couple who were having an argument. They were in the silent huff stage when I got on and sat down, but they soon started up again. She kept leaning over me to hit him.

                    Royter-Hatfood @Lucien | 9 Oct '13, 13:11 | X
            • Its takes about 3 days getting a bus in London!

              and the stabbings DEAR LORD ABOVE the stabbings

              Songs_about_ducking @Verbal | 9 Oct '13, 12:49 | X
              • Didn't you used to live in Nottingham?

                Or has stabbing someone suddenly got worse than shooting them?

                marckee @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 12:59 | X
              • These were proper lads and proper shootings

                none of this foreign muck stabbings that I read so much about in London

                Songs_about_ducking @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 13:07 | X
      • The after clubs shut taxi queue in a provincial town

        is a worse proposition than a London night bus in my mind.

        Night buses are all part of the fun of going out in Central London if you ask me.

        GetOffMyLawn @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 12:56 | X
        • So many London people seem to view the UK in this

          dichotomy that the only alternative to London is "provincial town

          It's weird

          Nestor @GetOffMyLawn | 9 Oct '13, 13:15 | X
          • I don't.

            GetOffMyLawn @Nestor | 9 Oct '13, 13:17 | X
  • Suprisingly few teary eyed southerners who moved to London kicking off

    Probably all too busy in their 70 hour week jobs to pay for their £600 a month box room in a shared house. Unfortunately I had Theogb in the "bitter bog dwellers with chips on their shoulders" bingo

    Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 12:34 | X
    • but theo's a proper genuine norf london geezer

      ideserve2 @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 12:35 | X
  • Wish I'd thought up this book idea.

    Every time they do it gets a tonne of easy media, then sells a shitload.

    Genius.

    hip_young_gunslinger | 9 Oct '13, 12:34 | X
  • i thought this was you telling you were coming to visit :(

    fappable | 9 Oct '13, 12:40 | X
  • Seriously though london, everybody hates you

    Nestor | 9 Oct '13, 12:41 | X
    • and no one has an opinion about leeds

      alcxxk @Nestor | 9 Oct '13, 15:53 | X
  • York's an odd shout

    Southampton is pretty grim though, but Portsmouth is far worse. Have a mate from High Wycombe who talks about it in the same way veterans talk about Helmand.

    Steved | 9 Oct '13, 12:44 | X
    • I say it in every thread that it's mentioned...

      ...I like Portsmouth.

      Pentago @Steved | 9 Oct '13, 12:53 | X
      • Didn't you like Pisa as well though?

        Steved @Pentago | 9 Oct '13, 13:09 | X
        • As a university town, yes

          As a tourist centre, no...

          Pentago @Steved | 9 Oct '13, 13:26 | X
  • London is shit for so many many reasons

    but also I wouldn't live anywhere else as it's all provincial and yolkal and bollocks.

    Fuck your small towns.

    moker | 9 Oct '13, 12:50 | X
    Cementimental and Jamienaz this'd this
    • Just like this article says

      http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/reasons-why-london-is-the-worst-place-ever

      Total cunthole of a place but still less than other cuntholes.

      Cunthole.

      moker @moker | 9 Oct '13, 12:51 | X
      • :D

        There are some lovely turns of phrase in that article. This bit:

        *There's a breed of Londoner (almost none of them originally from London, weirdly) who seems to think that the city is one big IRL RPG that they can only navigate with a Time Out "hidden gems" map.*

        Royter-Hatfood @moker | 9 Oct '13, 13:01 | X
        ohgood this'd this
        • That reminds me: xylopwn, did you enjoy your PI dress-up bar thing?

          Royter-Hatfood @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 13:02 | X
          • :'D

            mighty good it was too.

            cocodaLOL @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 13:03 | X
            • Turned down an invitation to this recently

              http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/shows/the-drowned-man-a-hollywood-fable

              Royter-Hatfood @cocodaLOL | 9 Oct '13, 13:05 | X
              • I'm going Saturday night

                LdnMetropolitanElite @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 18:40 | X
        • That kind if chippy attitude towards newcomers is so pitiful, though.

          Just some kind of weird jealousy that someone can come to "your" town and see and do more than you ever have, despite you feeling like you're some kind of street king that "really knows" what its like or are a proper Londoner because you were born there.

          I have got this from boring cunts in every town/city that I have lived in. Of course I'm too polite to point out that traveling to work through somewhere every day and then going back home to a sofa means you don't really know shit about shit.

          monoshono @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 13:17 | X
          • I'm confused as to whose shoulder the chip is on at this point

            Royter-Hatfood @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 13:24 | X
            cat_race this'd this
            • Its like a weird inverse anti paradox flip reverse chip on shoulder situation

              Songs_about_ducking @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 13:26 | X
              • Maybe there's more than one chip?

                Royter-Hatfood @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 13:30 | X
            • "chippy" is a mix of grumpy / quick to take offence, though.

              Refer to "the chippy northerner" stereotype.

              monoshono @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 13:30 | X
          • Nah

            It's more people who come to London and then are spoon fed their information and talk as if "haven't you been to the fish and chip bar in Canning Town? It's soooo authentic" after reading about it in some japseye mag.

            I've lived in London all my life - I only saw Buckingham Palace with my own eyes a few years ago, because basically, I don't need a Time Out hidden gems map to decide what I do.

            That's the issue.

            moker @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 13:29 | X
            • But why take offence?

              "haven't you been to the fish and chip bar in Canning Town? It's soooo authentic"

              "no, I haven't. it sounds good the way you describe it though, I'll be sure to check it out."

              ???

              monoshono @moker | 9 Oct '13, 13:33 | X
              Lucien this'd this
              • Because these kind of people know shit

                and a dullards of the highest order

                Songs_about_ducking @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 13:52 | X
                moker this'd this
                • THIS x 100000000000

                  It's got nothing to do with London it's got everything to do with wankers having Time out tell them what to do.

                  BORE-A-TRONS

                  moker @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 16:07 | X
                  • How can you not see that, with this attitude,

                    you are the most boring of the lot?

                    monoshono @moker | 9 Oct '13, 16:15 | X
                  • .

                    why does it annoy you? why does it make you angry? the answers lie within you, moker. within you.

                    brusma @moker | 9 Oct '13, 16:25 | X
            • Is that why you hate the queen?

              oojimaflop @moker | 9 Oct '13, 16:03 | X
            • the one in Spittlefields is pretty goof tho

              Cementimental @moker | 9 Oct '13, 16:15 | X
              • good

                Cementimental @Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 16:16 | X
      • that's a great, depressing picture

        http://assets.vice.com/content-images/contentimage/no-slug/3493316633ed4c37a15c4a8341d9959d.jpg

        Lucien @moker | 9 Oct '13, 13:08 | X
  • ...is this some kind of poor person in-joke that Londoner's don't get?

    Sent from my iPhone 5s Gold.

    cocodaLOL | 9 Oct '13, 12:52 | X
  • Coventry?

    Yeah about right.
    Stoke deserves to be higher.

    Chip_Batch | 9 Oct '13, 13:00 | X
  • last time i was in london (or the time before that maybe, or years ago)

    i saw a guy punch a girl's chips.

    cat_race | 9 Oct '13, 13:13 | X
    • Once saw a guy drop mushy peas and chips on the floor

      and then he knealt down and started scooping them back into the carton and when someone said "I dont think you should do that" he said in the most tearful voice ever "....just leave me alone"

      Songs_about_ducking @cat_race | 9 Oct '13, 13:27 | X
      • :D

        thewarn @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 13:31 | X
        Steved, fappable, pip_, and mac_daddy this'd this
      • aw, poor sod

        cat_race @Songs_about_ducking | 9 Oct '13, 13:31 | X
        monoshono and NickDS this'd this
  • No Stevenage?

    Was quite pleased Camberley was in the Top 50 though- really turned into a boring dormitory town in the past 10 years.

    TheSoundofBastards | 9 Oct '13, 15:45 | X
    • Don't say anything rude about Stevenage

      You'll get marckee started.

      (It is vile though).

      Steved @TheSoundofBastards | 9 Oct '13, 15:49 | X
      Epimer this'd this
      • Pffffft. It would take more than that to get marckee started!

        Royter-Hatfood @Steved | 9 Oct '13, 15:54 | X
        • LET'S GET THIS MARCKEE STAARTEED

          Verbal @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 16:25 | X
          Cementimental this'd this
  • It's a city tho

    and if you're accepting (supposed) cities then there's clearly something wrong because Newport isn't in the list

    Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 15:55 | X
  • "a transport system that abandons late-night revellers to the mercy of rickshaws, minicabs or night buses," yeah because all other towns in the UK have such AMAZING 24 hour public transport :-/

    Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 15:58 | X
    • in most other towns you can walk home after a night down the pub?

      monoshono @Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 16:13 | X
      • that makes no sense in the context

        london is worse because it has places to go out that are not within walking distance AS WELL as ones that are?

        Cementimental @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 16:17 | X
        • Disclaimer: I dont hate London, its great.

          BUT, when I lived, worked there, if you wanted to go out with mates, it would have to be somewhere central as that's fair and then we had to scurry home early to our various places across the city. Obviously we all could have gone to one of our locals, but that would have been massively convenient to 1 person and shit for everyone else.

          The only times when going to the pub was more fun was when everyone live in the same suburb with their parents, after school. But that's hardly "London". London is for the rich and uber-hip, everyone else gets shat on.

          monoshono @Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 17:47 | X
          • most of my friends are east london hipsters to be fair

            Going out in Central is what makes people put it on these kind of lists :D

            I just go anywhere and just take a night bus or two without winging or a taxi if it's a complete disaster. I lived in Newport for years so I'm grateful. ^__^ Used to go out in Cardiff and end up sleeping rough outside the station because they literally just stopped having trains to newport on fri and sat nights due to too much violence/puking on them. :D

            Cementimental @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 18:24 | X
            • *whinging

              Cementimental @Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 18:26 | X
            • I've spend a few nights in the 24 hour McDs in Cardiff, waiting for the first train

              at least its warm and they have teas! Fun, fun times.

              Yeah, when I visit my east london hipster friends and stay round their places after a night out, London just seems like really good fun and exciting, and I do feel a little envious. But then when other mates say their goodbyes and set off for faraway places that I have no desire to visit like "Chiswick" I just look on them with pity.

              monoshono @Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 18:36 | X
              Cementimental this'd this
              • there wasn';t 24 hr ANYTHING in cardiff in my time :(

                Cementimental @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 21:27 | X
          • your problem is that you stayed friends with people who should've been ostracised and forced to move somewhere better

            ideserve2 @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 18:34 | X
            Cementimental this'd this
  • "The city's trump card was undoubtedly its most affluent parish, Mayfair: "

    I just never go to or have been to Mayfair, problem solved.

    Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 15:59 | X
  • London is obviously the best place to live in The UK. You can

    have any "type" of night out you want depending on how many you are and what you want to do. It's doesn't have one single shit town centre where everyone congregates. If you can walk home from the city centre within ten minutes you're either filthy rich or live in a dull place. Night buses over the last 20 years in London have improved massively; an excellent service overall.

    BMS1 | 9 Oct '13, 16:05 | X
    moker and monoshono this'd this
    • First point = inaccurate

      Royter-Hatfood @BMS1 | 9 Oct '13, 16:09 | X
      JGJug this'd this
      • Although I do like the clarification that basically renders the whole sentence pointless

        Royter-Hatfood @Royter-Hatfood | 9 Oct '13, 16:11 | X
    • In some ways you're right, it's the best place to live in the UK

      in other ways, it really _really_ isn't. as exemplified by that other thread where the LME shrug off £600pcm for a room in a zone 3 shared house as being about normal.

      guntrip @BMS1 | 9 Oct '13, 16:47 | X
      • There are lots of things about London that I don't like,

        but the ability to do and see everything that London offers, coupled with the job opportunities, mean that for just about all of its residents, that increased cost of living is a price worth paying (especially when average wages are so much higher for just about all comparable private sector jobs), compared to living in other cities or towns or villages in the UK.

        I wouldn't live anywhere else at the moment, and for the foreseeable future.

        marckee @guntrip | 9 Oct '13, 16:53 | X
        plasticniki and Cementimental this'd this
        • s'fair enough

          i know i certainly used to have that attitude. it's not so much the cost as an absolute figure for me that puts me off moving back, it's how much it's gone up (especially in relation to wages) and that I know I'll endless compare it with how much more i used to get.

          and, to be honest, in terms of what i 'want', i get a hefty chunk of that here, and i live a ten minute walk away from it all.

          guntrip @marckee | 9 Oct '13, 22:16 | X
    • I have to say that Bristol disproves your penultimate point.

      eltham @BMS1 | 9 Oct '13, 16:49 | X
      • And Newcastle

        marckee @eltham | 9 Oct '13, 16:54 | X
        • and Brighton

          umlaut_ampersand @marckee | 9 Oct '13, 16:58 | X
          • and Cleethorpes.

            Verbal @umlaut_ampersand | 9 Oct '13, 18:01 | X
          • ^filthy rich

            eltham @umlaut_ampersand | 9 Oct '13, 18:07 | X
            • Is Bristol that much cheaper than Brighton to live in?

              Doubt it.

              umlaut_ampersand @eltham | 9 Oct '13, 18:31 | X
    • because variety of nightlife = quality of life

      Epimer @BMS1 | 9 Oct '13, 17:06 | X
      thewarn this'd this
  • southampton has it charms

    and it's crackheads, and a 6 year old did get shot with an air rifle the other day.

    StormJH | 9 Oct '13, 16:57 | X
  • proud to have lived in two absolute bastards of places

    raised in merthyr, residing in london.

    the trick is to not take all this 'living' and 'people' and 'surroundings' too seriously. talk to your friends, watch good films, have an imported beer, do sex at people you like...you'll worry less about all that other jazz. maaaan.

    matthewslaughter | 9 Oct '13, 17:03 | X
    Cementimental this'd this
  • I agree with what they say about Mayfair.

    It wasbn't until I moved back north that I realised what a pain in the nuts london is for getting about to get to stuff. All in all the transport system is great, but you really need to plan your night sdo that you're not having to schlep fomr one part of teh transport system to another. It took me over an hour to go to a pub in putney once and about 90 mins to get to a BBQ in wimbeldon. Too much efort. It's fine if you're organised/ wear sensible hsoes/ aren't bothered about your hair going flat/ actually go to every single gig and exhibition etc instead of planing and failling to do like I did, etc.

    PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 17:05 | X
    • That's just south west london though.

      marckee @PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 17:36 | X
      • nah, I've had a ballache getting to and from crouch end before too

        but you're right in that it's most south london that is a pain. Living in greenwich was great but got on my tits in the end because of how hard it was to get back to after a night out in proper london.

        PickledOeuf @marckee | 9 Oct '13, 17:52 | X
        • And that's why Crouch End isn't prohibitively expensive (yet),

          and is full of nice people.

          marckee @PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 17:54 | X
          • why don't you just give it a blow job then

            PickledOeuf @marckee | 9 Oct '13, 18:00 | X
            • alright cat_race

              Epimer @PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 18:37 | X
  • All this london vs the rest is moot anyway

    I mean, you all DO have country estates AND townhouses, don't you.

    monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 18:20 | X
    • obvs darling

      Although we're having the house in the contry de-loused at the moment after the dogs brought in something frightful from the paddock.

      PickledOeuf @monoshono | 9 Oct '13, 18:27 | X
      monoshono this'd this
      • I fucked this up by saying dogs not hounds

        Ive been kicking myself for the last hour, even wine isn't helping,

        PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 19:30 | X
        • it's still fine

          adds a bit of working class to it. the working class and the upper class are exactly the same. love the armed forces, fine with functional alcoholism, get their hands dirty and call the middle classes pansies, keep loads of animals, don't like foreigners apart from their foreign mates, well into expensive clobber, huge friendship circles etc.

          ideserve2 @PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 19:34 | X
  • I really like London

    PickledOeuf | 9 Oct '13, 18:27 | X
    Cementimental and monoshono this'd this
  • Still convinced that the only folk who hate London are people who can't figure out the tube maps and/or shit themselves if they're in a room with more than 10 people

    Puds | 9 Oct '13, 19:38 | X
    Cementimental, Antelope, and BMS1 this'd this
  • ITT:

    douchebag | 9 Oct '13, 20:18 | X
    Songs_about_ducking this'd this
    • ITT:

      People who actually get on/off the tube at Covent Garden

      Cementimental @douchebag | 9 Oct '13, 21:13 | X
  • Seems massively cheating to do a top 10 worst towns book or whatever then do a sequel with just a different 10 towns

    assuming thats even what happened

    Cementimental | 9 Oct '13, 21:15 | X
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