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how are you? how's your love lives and stuff?
my love life has recently exploded into flames but c'est le golf, hommmmmme
the inverse of that. it has been extinguished and now languishes inert upon a shelf
stay strong x
to the very letter. ^5
the curling rust leaflitter
that and sharing lifts/tube carriages with c-list celebs
i met a catriona with a k the other day.
Massive crush on a friend, sat in her room today talking bullshit and hating myself.
how long's she been a friend (considering you've been in halls, what, 2 weeks?)
And yeah, 2 weeks.
there's always a chance that she might like you too.
There no longer is.
trust me I fucked up my first year of undergrad love-life harder than you'll ever manage even if you went around 24/7 with your cock hanging out and a set of chattering false teeth in each hand
as I fucked up the progression of tense in that sentence
also i really need a new account that isn't my first name.
i have been very much cock-hanging-out-and-false-teeth-in-hand, metaphorically.
where the only thing left to do is literally tell her you dig her style and invite her over for a movie. I can suggest the movie if you like?
This almost happened, actually.
how have you done this? you really haven't. you think you have but you haven't. unless she caught you stuffing frogs into your ass
meanwhile let's think of alternative DiS usernames for Oissin_
so which is it, incredibly posh or incredibly irish, or both?
My dad was Irish, I've never been there.
really good value
didn't realise paxman had a beard either. Not sure it suits him.
I have been talking to a girl a lot, which is really great. so I don't know, hey, who knows?
This sounds excellent and promising and I hope something comes of it!
keep talking to her
it already feels a bit odd when I go an evening without talking to her.
you're awesome and deserve all the good stuff. x
yeah, I feel happy and hopeful and confident again! seems like there's something real happening.
you'll find love again because you're handsome and charming. stay rude.
Wish you lots of luck with whatever it might be.
just going with it right now. :)
right dots? right.
I'm okay-ish, and it was great :(
sorry about your love life. you could easily find some new cause you're a good person.
You're not on here much any more too, what gives?
Today I felt terrible but did two significant things that will hopefully change things for the better.
I'm okay. I had shoes that were always going to be too big to fill, which is hard to take.
i have more than an inkling about what i feel and know i need to be doing now and how to do it, rather than worrying about what i think i should be doing instead. i've potentially got some oppertunities coming up that i need to really push myself for. kind of scary.
i'm also really busy. and my laptop has been 3/4 broken for about two years.
i felt bad today too so i sent some e-mails i'd needed to send to make myself feel better about it all.
hope you're gonna go from feeling okay to good soon!
luckily enough i had shingles this year and didn't realise it was actually shingles and not just an allergy rash and fever from flu until it had nearly gone. i went to the pharmacist and they gave me a like seven tubes of no brand cream for 80p each so i've stuff to put on it.
its not even on the outside of my mouth its right in the corner so its practically the inside oh god it'll never go
but sudocrem is pretty potent
good luck anyhow
that would be good, though.
I don't call other dissers names (apart from cg, and i occassionlly send notes so he knows its not personal but a game) but dissers seem to be quite happy to do that
how commensurate with paganism is this, btw? considering that it might be the closest thing i've seen to my own religious standpoint: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panentheism
read about Spinoza mate
that encompasses all but eludes and defies all as well, thus preventing an overly deterministic reality - it is the possibility for the infinite
the asymptote we stretch for in our thirst for knowledge and wisdom
his whole thing is about how we can interpret God as being the material existence of everything, from what I understand. he has a section on his wikipedia page "Panentheist, pantheist, or atheist?" Deleuze and Negri are both big fans. i feel like you would enjoy reading about him
and yeah, God IS imo the material existence of everything, but God is ALSO the abstract existence of thought, possibility and the infinite (as above). I should read him, though, and will do. Deleuze is one of my intellectual heroes, so I'll bow to that as well
I suppose it is the same, I dont use the term god though, in fact i try to get away with words, experiences and feelings tend to drive it.....so I'll have to try to bridge that gap to compare, but I think you are right.....also seems quite similar to dow, especially as in comparrisons (as I have before) to the north american 'great mystery', which is difficult to describe, or 'contain' with words.
The article does mention north american 'great mystery' but not the dow
Other things mentioned in the article, sufism, hinduism, sikhism - I have found commonality with some sikh, some hindu and some sufi freinds, that I do not always find commonly with 'normal' westerny thought.
So yeah, I will try to relate to it tonight.
I guess that I was being a bit touchy in that other thread about teachers.....but you know when labmonkey called me arrogant for my deriding my teachers brought back memories of people defending teachers against me ......like my mum, saying things like 'Oh and you know better do you?' (when actually I did but i was hiding the truth from her to protect her....I didnt want her to know that the git in question had mentioned how single parent mothers were not good at bringing up children who would have proper respect for authority, "how could they when they had not respect for their own bodies" ....yes basically he had called my mum a slut, in fancy words, just so he cant be touched......so yeah, that pisses me off when people defend teachers against me (PS i was not particularly rebellious, probably just didnt know how to 'please male authority figures'
I think that I had to suppress an awful lot of anger at the time :)
Perhaps, although I didnt swear at them or hit them, perhaps they still picked up the loathing and disrespect I had for them :)
they said nobody deserves to be called a 'CUNT' or 'FUCK YOU YOU ARSEHOLE' on the internet. They are going to fight to get me justice
you took it to the next level, and then I took it to a next level.
I might have not done that, If I had not banked large amounts of anger towards my secondary school teachers, which may not have been an entirely healthy approach, but is probably regarded as a more sociable reaction as opposed to having trying to exact some form of vengeance.
You picked the scab off of my loathing for them.
If I meet a teacher nowadays, and they are reasonable then I can see that they are not the same creatures and so i do not have anger towards them.
a relationship which has thickened and become far more restrictive since your own childhood
I think that overall standards of how teachers treat kids has soared beyond belief in the last 20 to 30 years
I respect your lack of respect for authority and I cheer you on. However, a teacher shouldn't be an authority figure, ideally - a teacher should be a guide you may choose to follow. I think a lot of teachers nowadays are simply people who want to see and help children to make good decisions in their lives, and have gotten mixed up in the hierarchical bullshit that is the current education system (well, the education system as it's always been, tbh, but is now legislated as such)
despite just ending a five year relationship lol. which undoubtedly means that i'm going to transform into a glorious nightmare wreck at some indeterminate point in the near future without warning or reason
on anything more than a very occasional basis
then they neutralise, their echoes ignorable
once acclimatised to the rhythms of these emotional cytokine storms you realise that you're not being lazy, you're just avoiding the perpetual dismay of anguish as best you can - a compromise with one's heart, if you will
I'll insist it's a defence mechanism, even if it's essentially sloth
but i really just haven't had the whole intensely painful emotions thing for quite a long amount of time now, so i'd prefer to hope my subconscious mind has decided it can't be bothered with them anymore
also when i cry now i show minimal emotion; tears fall without any sobs or sniffs. i must be moving on up in the ice queen stakes.
feel like i'm repeating myself a bit now but i hope you're okay soon. really x
now when i cry it usually lasts for about a minute tops before i get too bored to bother with the effort. i think i've just mastered the art of self-distraction to a possibly unhealthy degree
gonna stay awake another hour maybe
like an actually massive one. my flatmate has gone to bed :( one day, i'm going to have to learn to be a proper adult human being and deal with these things by myself, but today is not that day. my bladder can just deal with it.
my love life's alright thanks, except that my boyfriend is living in Spain for a year on the Erasmus scheme. Still, it's nice to have something going on and someone who cares about you.
it wasn't smug.
I'm good, thanks for asking, but I found out that some people I used to be quite good friends with made some Top Trumps cards based on people they knew and gave me really high ratings in categories like 'Neuroticism' and 'Anger'. I wouldn't care, but I think it's a bit unfair that the way I behaved over a year ago, due to things which were their fault, is being recycled like this. You try to be a nicer person and then get a reminder of how shit you used to be at stuff.
don't remember this post, call me that waahmbulance.
sensitivity in a good way
I've been unhappy recently and, after talking to a friend about it yesterday, I think it stems from basically doing nothing but working, particularly at home where me and my wife basically don't do anything together anymore. talked to her about it yesterday, she didn't see any problems, said it was fine, then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening in another room, hasn't spoken to me since.
Feels brilliant. I spent 2012 basically trying to not completely drop into sadness or go off the rails again, and after a bit of a wobble around March, got myself back to feeling right/okay by September, at which point she and I started properly dating. And lately she's moved in, and it's just been perfect. Really, really perfect.
Thanks for asking gb
Work's rubbish at the moment. Still pretty angry about the stuff i previously posted on here, but won't get into in to much detail. Another one of my friends turned out to be a massive fucking hypocrite.
But, Breaking bad was great on Monday, and i'm generally still having a laugh when i go out.
stay strong like init
turns out they're seeing someone. Another victory.
It's rubbish, one of the dancers who everyone kept saying fancied me turns out is a bit unstable. Wasn't told until after the company shout of course that she has a history of stalking. I'm friends with the ex she stalked as well so I'm not sure how all that managed to slip through the cracks. I keep hearing all this grim stuff about her, but while I'm taking most of it with a grain of salt, it's pretty damning stuff. I mean, we all have our problems, but this really sounds like someone I shouldn't get involved with. She's a bit older than me too, she's 28, not that this is really a big issue for either of us. So yeah, back to square one. Ah well, at least I'm really busy at the moment anyway so it doesn't really matter.
Partly because I chase after the wrong guys and partly because I'm so busy.