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and use this as feed for their new workforce of non-paid seven-year-olds, who need to achieve straight A*s in KS1 if they're not to join the obsolete wastes in the grinder
and declare Christmas 'open season' on low-income nobodies
The Moon would suffice, and it's a much cheaper journey.
That's pretty much their thing.
UNLESS THEY'RE THE ROYAL FAMILY! WEEEEEYYYYYYY
and build luxury condos in their placea
Hunting dogs instead to be sent to attack people on benefits in knackered South Yorkshire mining towns
Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Owen Paterson said "We're going to show this planet jolly well what for, with this leftist climate change designed to hit small-business owners and benefit immigrant benefit scroungers."
i'm not very good at this satire thing
announce plans to introduce polonium and strychnine into Britain's mains water supply
for castle owners who have less than 100 serfs.
of the butler subsidy.
(not even joking) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2438130/Theresa-May-Ill-kick-illegal-migrants-BEFORE-chance-appeal-says-Home-Secretary.html#ixzz2gMt7hneK%20
If you're in contravention of human rights laws, you're probably being a terrible cunt. It should at least raise alarm bells for you.
to be enforced by a squad of off-duty soldiers, themselves unpaid but promised 'unimaginable pain on their faces'
MICHAEL GOVE: The dinner was satisfactory. I am shocked that it was delayed though because your children - Melvin, Rhonda and Pilbus Osborne - took too long in their task of peeling the potatoes. This would never have happened in China. Never in a million of their Chinese years.
GEORGE OSBORNE: I apologise with much ferocity, Michael, for my children's insubordination.
MICHAEL GOVE: Fear not. I shall, if you would agree with it, be happy to come down once a week to tutor your offspring in important educational topics. Young Pilbus, as he is approaching four months, will need job interview training and a crash course in how our tiny island hath grown to be a great Empire. And how, when we are gone, they shall rule over and survey it.
GEORGE OSBORNE: I would be more than happy to allow this to happen. More than happy, indeed. Now. What did everyone else think of my feast.
G4S SUPER-SOLDIER DEATH SQUAD COMMANDER: The nutrition has improved our propensity for violence, Mr. Osborne. I particularly enjoyed the Christmas pudding. The fire on it stirred me positively in myriad ways.
JOBSEEKERS APPLICANT: May I take your plates through?
GEORGE OSBORNE: (getting up, smacking the lad round the earhole with a bone from the turkey) THE INSUBORDINATION. HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME AS AN EQUAL. GAH. YOUR BENEFITS FOR THE NEXT YEAR ARE CANCEL
JOBSEEKERS APPLICANT: But-- but--
GEORGE OSBORNE: Out of the kindness of my heart I gave you the chance to CONTRIBUTE something to the Osborne family's Christmas cheer in return for your benefit and THIS IS WHAT YOU DO
MICHAEL GOVE: In China, this would never happen. I have seen it on the radio.
JOBSEEKERS APPLICANT: It... it... surely is not fair... to... on Christmas Day... I have had to leave my son... five-year-old... with our neighbour.... me here... my wife... at Iain Duncan Smith's house sorting out his Sky Plus to get all the Christmas specials while he is here--
IAIN DUNCAN SMITH: I can't wait for the Royle Family. I hope this year is the year they finally DIE AHAHAHAHA Imagine it, yes. Jim Royle forced out his home, and eventually him and the wife one have to resort to eating Ralf Little AHAHAHAHA, and then -- and then --
JOBSEEKERS APPLICANT: ... and (getting more confident and loud) I don't think it's RIGHT--
(NICK HEWER and MARGARET MOUNTFORD materialise)
NICK HEWER: Don't even START to sympathise with this man!
GEORGE OSBORNE: I wasn't.
NICK HEWER: Oh.
MARGARET MOUNTFORD: By then. You know, though, that he has ELECTRIC LIGHTING? In his house?
G4S SUPER-SOLDIER DEATH SQUAD COMMANDER: FALSE BENEFIT CLAIMANT DETECTED. ARBEIT MACHT ELECTRICITY, IN THE MEAN TIME WHY NOT USE YOUR NAMBY PAMPY LEFTY PUBLIC SERVICE SUN FOR LIGHT, HIPPIE (G4S SUPER-SOLDIER DEATH SQUAD COMMANDER breathes out flesh-eating leopards that tear apart the JOBSEEKERS APPLICANT's molecules). Rogue element dispatched.
MRS. OSBORNE: Time for the presents now, kids
MELVIN: This is good news.
RHONDA: Under the wrapping there are items.
PILBUS: To die. To die. To die.
MRS. OSBORNE: Look Rhonda. This one is from your uncle Ozzy
GEORGE OSBORNE: WHAT IS THIS. SOMETHING FOR NOTHING NONSENSE. THIS KIDS HAVEN'T WORKED FOR THESE
RHONDA: But, dear father. We peeled the potatoes.
MELVIN: For hours, we did
GEORGE OSBORNE: IT WAS UNPAID WORK IT DOESN'T COUNT. WE WERE GOOD ENOUGH TO LET YOU HAVE A BIT OF HAM. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT TO DRAIN FROM ME. GODSAKE CAN'T YOU SEE I'M NOT MADE OF RESOURCES. GOOD GRAMAHAM
IAIN DUNCAN SMITH: He's right, you know
(GEORGE OSBORNE throws the presents out of the window)
GEORGE OSBORNE: I'm leaving this home now. It has nothing for me. I'm going to live in the big Coalition frat house, with my main bros Govey, Camerony, and Duncan Smithy. All the cool dudes
OSBORNE, GOVE, DUNCAN SMITH: Bulla bulla bulla. BULLA BULLA BULLA
and is an original piece written for posting on DiS, you have a dark mind sir/madam
NICK HEWER: Oh
we are definitely in the presence of genius, here.
DON'T BELIEVE YOUR OWN HYPE, M-B, BACK TO THE WORD MILL WITH YOU, HYAHHH *flays mute-branches for his own good*
in terms of how valuable they are to the boards, and m-b was the most expensive. he's easily the most underrated poster.
Thank you mute-branches. Thank you so much.
YOUR BENEFITS FOR THE NEXT YEAR ARE CANCEL
what this thread is for.
to save them money on think-tanks and that.