Dilemma I Had Last Night / Social // Drowned In Sound

Dilemma I had last night

NoahVale [Edit] [Delete] 45 replies 11:17, 20 September '13

Was driving home down a fairly dark, rural bypass (single carriageway) and just managed to make out up ahead someone trying to flag down a vehicle. A dangerous thing to do; as I mentioned, it was dark, and the person was walking in the ''wrong'' direction, wearing dark clothing, there is no pavement and the traffic is fast on that stretch.

Being the good samaritan, I stopped. It was a young 20-something girl who, as it turned out, was trying to make her way to Derby and was a little bit drunk. I told her that I wasn't heading that way (true) and that I was nearly home (also true). I suggested that she needed to get over the other side of the road, where there is a path and walk down to the pub which was about half a mile away. She started getting verbally aggressive then because I wouldn't take her to the (rough) part of Derby she wanted, and she stormed off.

I carried on my way but worried about if I had done the right thing by not giving her a lift.

Discuss

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should have called the police, or something

Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:19 | X

marckee this'd this
- Or a taxi.
  
  marckee @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:30 | X
  - another good idea
    
    what you DEFINITELY shouldn't have done is just leave her there
    
    Garrincha @marckee | 20 Sep '13, 11:31 | X
    - probably best you don't buy the local rag for a few days, maaaaan
      
      Garrincha @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:33 | X
- Wasn't my immediate thought, but
  
  you're right. I thought about that later. Having said that, I could imagine a police car rolling up half an hour later and she wouldn't be there.
  
  NoahVale @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:30 | X
By and large, sounds like you did the right thing...

...you need to trust your instincts in such instances. Could you have given her a lift to the pub down the road?

Pentago | 20 Sep '13, 11:20 | X
- The way the road is set up,
  
  I would have had to drive about 4 miles to the next junction to do a U-turn. It would have been quicker to walk - even half pissed.
  
  Also, I had this feeling that if she got in the car I wouldn't get her out of it unless I took her where she wanted to go. I could also envisage all sorts of potential outcomes in that instance...
  
  NoahVale @Pentago | 20 Sep '13, 11:33 | X
  - No one in this thread knows the circumstances as well as you tbf...
    
    Pentago @NoahVale | 20 Sep '13, 11:47 | X
    
    PickledOeuf this'd this
This won't make you feel any better, but at least you stopped:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-348342/Hit-run-victim-run-times.html

hip_young_gunslinger | 20 Sep '13, 11:33 | X
monster

foppyish | 20 Sep '13, 11:34 | X
Sorry but I could not have just left a young woman on the road

In a rural area late at night/early in the morning.

Personally for me I would rather have helped out and at least attempted to help than to spend sleepless nights worrying if she got home didn't get raped/killed.

marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 11:37 | X

Garrincha this'd this
- easy to say I know. But what is 4 miles taking her to the pub for her to call a taxi?
  
  4 miles is nothing.
  
  marilyninthesky @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 11:39 | X
  - Plus 'rough part of Derby'
    
    Surely it doesn't matter if she lived in the rough part of the posh part, she's a young woman trying to get home.
    
    I feel like society is just completely de-sensitised these days to trying to help anyone out.
    
    marilyninthesky @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 11:40 | X
  - nah, you don't let her in the car
    
    she could go batshit, cry rape, anything. you wait around for the police.
    or get the bowl of rice out the boot
    
    Garrincha @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 11:41 | X
- Yes, I know, I know
  
  I just had a really bad feeling about what might have happened if she got in my car. I tried to make sure she was safer but...
  
  idk
  
  NoahVale @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 11:41 | X
  
  Garrincha this'd this
- nah
  
  Although its a relatively minor problem in the grand scheme of things, you have to be REALLY careful as a male in situations like this. You cant just go around picking drunk girls up in your car from the middle of a rural road. Added to that, its not Noahvales responsibility to look after her. I know you'll disagree, but thats the real world
  
  Songs_about_ducking @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 11:47 | X
  
  JGJug, Ricky_Ronco, PickledOeuf, fitzcarraldo, CoachTaylor, and badmanreturns this'd this
  - What about offering her at least to use a phone to contact a parent or something?
    
    I just couldn't leave someone stranded. I've been stranded before and it's terrifying.
    
    marilyninthesky @Songs_about_ducking | 20 Sep '13, 12:00 | X
    - 'the real world'
      
      I'm well aware of the real world mate.
      
      marilyninthesky @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 12:00 | X
      - haha
        
        you're very het up.
        
        Garrincha @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 12:12 | X
        
        I'm het up because human beings are shit.
        
        marilyninthesky @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 12:27 | X
      - Yeah I didnt mean it to come across like that
        
        I just meant it in a THIS IS THE SITUATION US POOR MEN FIND OURSELVES IN
        
        Songs_about_ducking @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 12:18 | X
    - See, this is thing mits
      
      She wasn't terrified. I think that is what made me uneasy
      
      NoahVale @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 12:02 | X
    - dunno really
      
      from what noah has said this girl was drunk and abusive to him, sounds like he didn't really get an opportunity to explore all available options.
      
      chris-budget @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 12:03 | X
      
      marilyninthesky and badmanreturns this'd this
      - Didn't mean to ^this that
        
        But yea, okay. You all win. Made your point, yea. Great.
        
        marilyninthesky @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 12:07 | X
        
        You are 100% right in what you have said here
        
        And if it was someone else that started this thread I would be right there ^thissing your posts.
        
        NoahVale @marilyninthesky | 20 Sep '13, 12:09 | X
      - I was once accosted by a seriously drunk girl whilst walking home in York
        
        Well, I stopped to see if she was alright cos she was all over the place, but she then grabbed me, and asked if she could stay on my sofa. When I said not really but I'll call someone to help you out or something she said she'd been kicked out of her house by her housemates and had no one to call. Offered to walk her to the petrol station. She insisted she stay at my house. When I said, no, not really, she flipped and told me her dad was in the army and he was coming to get her and when he arrived he'd do me in.
        
        There's just no helping some people.
        
        badmanreturns @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 12:44 | X
ideally, it would have been nice and decent to give her a lift,

but it's not your responsibility, and if it felt wrong, then it's probably best to trust your gut on these things.

chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 11:45 | X

deadonthestairs this'd this
- dude!
  
  you do not let a pissed up stranger drunk girl into your car. EVER. chances are it would be cool, but you never know..
  
  Garrincha @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 11:47 | X
  - why not?
    
    chris-budget @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:48 | X
    - fuck sake, man!
      
      do i have to tie your shoelaces, too? its been mentioned above on more than one occasion above
      
      Garrincha @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 11:49 | X
      - i don't really understand what the drunk bit has to do with it tbh
        
        chris-budget @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:52 | X
        
        ok, man
        
        drunk/sober whatever. men have to be VERY careful in these situations. Cynical - probably.
        
        Garrincha @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 11:53 | X
        
        also i think you have to judge these kind of things on a case by case basis
        
        but whatevz
        
        chris-budget @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 11:53 | X
      - also
        
        velcro ftw
        
        chris-budget @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:58 | X
        
        had to be!
        
        Garrincha @chris-budget | 20 Sep '13, 11:58 | X
  - To be honest mate
    
    On another night, with another woman, I might have done.
    
    NoahVale @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 11:53 | X
    - Is this a reply to me?
      
      Balonz @NoahVale | 20 Sep '13, 12:04 | X
      
      NoahVale this'd this
You were right not to murder her

Balonz | 20 Sep '13, 11:47 | X

thewarn, nebbie, DaveMK, and andyvine this'd this
- ^this means a lot
  
  I will sleep easier tonight
  
  NoahVale @Balonz | 20 Sep '13, 11:55 | X
come on Lynn, i'll give you a lift the cab rank.

meths | 20 Sep '13, 11:55 | X

Royter-Hatfood this'd this
You did the right thing

Never, EVER take anyone to Derby.

Royter-Hatfood | 20 Sep '13, 12:13 | X
- something about Brian Clough taking Dave Mackay to Derby
  
  and winning the league
  
  Garrincha @Royter-Hatfood | 20 Sep '13, 12:16 | X
  - Good knowledge
    
    1 indie football point for you
    
    Songs_about_ducking @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 12:17 | X
  - ^has watched The Damned United
    
    Good film, mostly made-up though
    
    NoahVale @Garrincha | 20 Sep '13, 12:27 | X
you have to trust your instincts in these situatons

You stopped, you didn'ty think she seemed particularly vulnerable (or if you did, that was trumped by somethinbg else that you picked up on, which turned out to be correct when she turned abusive.)

You have to trust yourself thast you did the correct thing at the time with the information and instincts that you had at that time.

PickledOeuf | 20 Sep '13, 12:16 | X

meths this'd this

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