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you wouldn't dirty another persons toilet and not clean it, would you?

Garrincha [Edit] [Delete] 106 replies 10:49, 19 September '13

nah

couple weeks ago I was round at my friends drinking rum and playing top spin tennis til 4am, despite having work the next day.

anyway, he very kindly dropped me home in the morning to have a shower and stuff and said he'd also drop me into work. nice guy.

anyway, we got back, I had a shower and asked him if he'd like one too. he did.

he had a shower, then a shit (obviously the wrong order, but that's not for now)

that evening when I came home and went to the loo, I noticed there was dirty marks in the toilet! I mean, who the hell wouldn't clean that up?

so yeah, that's something that happened to me a couple weeks ago

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Some people are animals and don't use the brush.

I had to scrub the shit out of a splatty toilet bowl in work yesterday. Who can go knowing all that's there beneath, you eh?

TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 10:55 | X
- don't you have cleaners at work?
  
  jacques_le_biscuit_ @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:09 | X
  - Didn't you read his post?
    
    Theo is the cleaner.
    
    sadpunk @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 11:13 | X
    
    TheoGB, ma0sm, and marilyninthesky this'd this
    - We have cleaners, obviously.
      
      But they don't stand there in the toilet and clean after every person's had a dump. I wanted a shit right then.
      
      TheoGB @sadpunk | 19 Sep '13, 11:15 | X
      - Outside of opening hours?
        
        Balonz @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:16 | X
      - go to a different toilet then?
        
        You should probably get your bowels checked out.
        
        jacques_le_biscuit_ @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:18 | X
        
        It was that 10.30ish time of day when all the toilets get occupied by other shitters.
        
        TheoGB @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 11:23 | X
        
        see you in 5
        
        jacques_le_biscuit_ @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:25 | X
        
        Like now
        
        No word of a lie, I am posting this whilst crimping off a fine length of copper cable.
        
        Raanraals @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:26 | X
        
        They all sit in their traps with Theo leaing the chat
        
        Red Leader this is Gold Leader, I have breached the surface water, I repeat, I have breached the surface water.
        
        Same time tomorrow boys?
        
        Balonz @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:29 | X
      - Theo you monster
        
        marilyninthesky @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:50 | X
- A brush?
  
  Filthy pig.
  
  If it gets dirty, whack a load of bleach down there, leave for a bit and flush to clean, or wipe it away with toilet paper.
  
  Better than having an ornamental, shit and piss-flecked plastic bog brush sitting on a permanent basis on your bathroom floor.
  
  Chip_Batch @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:23 | X
  
  hapi, areyouarealdoctor, and Epimer this'd this
  - yeah, i feel like this
    
    i'm all for not having shit smeared all over the toilet, but having it all over a brush in the corner instead? ridiculous
    
    cat_race @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 13:58 | X
    - best to wrap your hands in bog roll, dip it into the water slightly so its wet
      
      and you can get more purchase. Then just give it a gently rub. Crap just falls right off
      
      inside-outside @cat_race | 19 Sep '13, 14:18 | X
      - gently rub :)
        
        cat_race @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:39 | X
- Were you worried about your turds coming into contact with other peoples' turds or something?
  
  Having to look at someone's turdsplosion whilst you brush away at it seems way more unpleasant than just taking a seat and getting to work.
  
  hapi @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 12:04 | X
those movie piracy ads really are thinking outside the box, huh.

Verbal | 19 Sep '13, 10:58 | X

NickDS this'd this
- Out of the pirate box and into the shitting pan.
  
  TheWza @Verbal | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
Tell tale sign that your friend has sight problems

probably due to a terminal disease that he doesn't feel comfortable talking about / even know he has and all you do is get angry at him.

Shame on you.

ma0sm | 19 Sep '13, 10:58 | X
Why do some people not have a toilet brush

It's a major source of anxiety for me.

oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 10:58 | X

marilyninthesky this'd this
- They use their nails.
  
  TheoGB @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 11:03 | X
  
  ma0sm this'd this
  - I bite my nails
    
    oojimaflop @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:17 | X
    - Extra flavour
      
      ma0sm @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 14:23 | X
- they lick the bowl
  
  foppyish @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 11:20 | X
- See above, my completely logical reply
  
  (dunno how to do that clever linking thing)
  
  Chip_Batch @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 11:25 | X
- just lick your fingers and thumb it into the water
  
  inside-outside @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 13:53 | X
I don't get why he showered at your house.

He left his house to go to your house so you could get ready quickly but he decided to shower at your house in this short time. Shitting I understand but I never pop into someone's house for a quick shower unless I'm looking to get my nipsy fingered or offer a quick shower unless I'm looking to finger someone's nipsy.

Please confirm.

Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 10:59 | X

PickledOeuf, monoshono, TheoGB, marilyninthesky, and andyvine this'd this
- he was day off
  
  he was getting his haircut at 10am and hadn't showered before we left his house.
  
  Garrincha @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:06 | X
  - Top Spin session finished at 4.00am
    
    Haircut at 10.00am
    
    That's six hours (less lifts and travel time) to get showered at home.
    
    I hope he knocked the cost of the shower off the lift fare.
    
    Balonz @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:09 | X
    - no lift fare, bucko
      
      he also bought 2 sausage baps from his local bappery. one of the good guys
      
      Garrincha @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
      - Local bappery
        
        Chip_Batch @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:25 | X
        
        PickledOeuf this'd this
        
        I knew
        
        PO would this that. Yes, we get it: you've got breasts.
        
        ;)
        
        Raanraals @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 11:29 | X
        
        PickledOeuf this'd this
        
        photgraphic evidence request
        
        inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 13:53 | X
        
        I'm afraid I don't have a photo
        
        of PO's norks.
        
        Raanraals @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:23 | X
        
        not with that attitude
        
        inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 16:45 | X
    - good work B man
      
      the story doesn't stack up.
      
      jacques_le_biscuit_ @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:11 | X
      
      ma0sm this'd this
  - who has a shower before a haircut?
    
    thats mental
    
    inside-outside @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 13:50 | X
    - I do
      
      It's simply courtesy. Like douching before oral sex.
      
      Raanraals @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:24 | X
      - but you need to shower afterwards anyway
        
        think of the poor african kids you water wasting fiend
        
        inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 16:03 | X
        
        Afterwards it's just a quick hair rinse
        
        not a full shower. Hardly any water used incrementally.
        
        Raanraals @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 16:05 | X
        
        nah you're batshit crazy m8
        
        Gotta have a full shampoo after a haircut. Got to wash out all the barber's breath from your barnet
        
        inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 16:49 | X
tath was very grim and rude of him (maybe he thought you were in a massive rush to get to work?)

Also, aren't you signed off work this week with stress/ Sorry to harp on like yer maw here, but staying up all night dirnking rum when you have work the next day isn't going ot help with that (don't get me wrong, I pull allnighters and go to work, but I haven't ever had to get signed off with stress on the back of it.)

I say this not to nag, but as an observation which maybe only an outsider could pick up.
Please look after yourself.

PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:00 | X
- He said work the NEXT day
  
  So I assume he had a good 29 hours off.
  
  Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:02 | X
  - Probably could have had a long lingering bath together instead then
    
    Balonz @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:04 | X
    - *fingering
      
      sadpunk @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:08 | X
      
      PickledOeuf this'd this
  - I wouldn't assume that at all >
    
    "anyway, he very kindly dropped me home in the morning to have a shower and stuff and said he'd also drop me into work"
    
    PickledOeuf @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:07 | X
    
    Garrincha this'd this
    - I was being facetious
      
      Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:08 | X
      - Placeholder for a faeces/facetious joke
        
        Steved @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
        
        faecesYOURS joke.
        
        (doesn't really work)
        
        TheWza @Steved | 19 Sep '13, 11:13 | X
        
        I was being Sir Feeshus
        
        Raanraals @TheWza | 19 Sep '13, 11:54 | X
      - open goal here
        
        Lucien @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
      - I am occasionally exceptionally gullible, did you not know?
        
        PickledOeuf @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:16 | X
        
        Sorry, don't know what that word means
        
        It's not in the dictionary.
        
        Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:28 | X
        
        PickledOeuf this'd this
- actually signed off due to an ongoing health issue
  
  not sure what it is, but I have felt like shit for about a year now. might be wheat intolerance, might be m.e.
  might be whatever
  
  Garrincha @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
  - ahhhh, sorry, I was wrong in how I read your post about being signed off. SORRY.
    
    I hope you feel better soon and get to the bottom of it.
    
    PickledOeuf @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:16 | X
    - *praying the health issue is not related to his bottom*
      
      PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:17 | X
    - s'ok
      
      think I actually said I was signed off due to stress. thing is, I had a crazy shift on Friday where the client went batshit crazy and violent and I thought 'nah, fuck this' so signed off for stress and underlying health issues
      might never go back.
      
      Garrincha @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:19 | X
      - I hope you're ok
        
        I also hope that when the doctor signed you off, they actually took some time to see what can be done to help you instead of just issuing a sick line.
        Sounds like you eat well, do plenty of exercise and your all time dogs sound nice(and these are all v important things to have in your life) so that should help you narrow down what's making you poorly. Work? Weed consumption? I wonder if you're under-stimulated tbh, but I am now probably overstepping the line again. Take care. x
        
        PickledOeuf @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:26 | X
        
        just for the record, then lets put this one to bed
        
        smoke weed recreationally - parties, indoor golf nights, hardly drink at all (had 6 beers in the last fortnight)
        but yea, thanks for your words. you're a good egg, egg
        
        Garrincha @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:47 | X
        
        fair play. You mention it a bit more than that, so I hadn't realised you actually rarely do it :)
        
        Also, it's none of my damn business anyway, but I couldn't not say what seemed like quite an obvious connectoin.,
        
        Maybe you should jobhunt and find something which will make you happier/ less stresed/ unwell.
        
        In the meantime, you need some more indoor golf nights!
        
        PickledOeuf @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:51 | X
        
        Is indoor golf a euphemism?
        
        Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:56 | X
        
        umlaut_ampersand this'd this
        
        thats indoor golf, maaaaaan
        
        inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 13:55 | X
  - I'm not a medical man but I suscribe a healthy diet of staying up
    
    late every night, smoking loads of weed and playing video games.
    
    jacques_le_biscuit_ @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:20 | X
    
    Chip_Batch this'd this
    - yep, you're actually an a1 prick
      
      Garrincha @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 11:21 | X
      - I've been promoted
        
        get in.
        
        jacques_le_biscuit_ @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:26 | X
        
        me too
        
        and I also subscribe to that exact life
        
        inside-outside @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 13:56 | X
probably a dirty protest for you not paying him for the lift home

Epimer | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X

Raanraals, ma0sm, umlaut_ampersand, oojimaflop, monoshono, Jamienaz, Chip_Batch, and chickenbones this'd this
i love you

TheWza | 19 Sep '13, 11:14 | X

marilyninthesky this'd this
- Shower?
  
  Balonz @TheWza | 19 Sep '13, 11:15 | X
Shit happens

chadders | 19 Sep '13, 11:14 | X
not cool, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

Jordan_229_2 | 19 Sep '13, 11:18 | X
Can you stop talking about shit all the time, please?

SigmundFreud | 19 Sep '13, 11:30 | X

marilyninthesky this'd this
this is classic.

1/ mention alcohol and staying up late
2/ describe a deeply unlikley scenario (ie a mate popping in for a shower...i thought our protagonist had to get to work?)
3/ cry like a tiny baby about some perceived slight that only those with the wettest of beds would even register, let alone bother to mention, let alone alone bother to make a post about.
sorry garrincha, in a terrible mood.

matthewslaughter | 19 Sep '13, 11:39 | X
- :)
  
  Chip_Batch @matthewslaughter | 19 Sep '13, 11:42 | X
  
  monoshono, plasticniki, cheeseandbaconturnov, and alcxxk this'd this
for me, unless it looks like a snickers has exploded...

i'm pretty cool about a bit of a dirty bowl, and i'm not too sure why people get so uptight about it.

i mean, it's where you throw your poo away, why would you always expect pristine purity?

feels a bit like getting angry at someone for making a mess in your bin.

and also......collecting poo particles with a brush? much worse, no?

michael_w | 19 Sep '13, 11:58 | X

DaveMK this'd this
- yeah now hes got something to aim at when he goes t'bog
  
  inside-outside @michael_w | 19 Sep '13, 13:51 | X
- 'Unless it looks like a snickers has exploded'
  
  :D
  
  Elaina_Casoolare @michael_w | 19 Sep '13, 17:29 | X
  - that was a bit gross that bit
    
    foppyish @Elaina_Casoolare | 19 Sep '13, 17:30 | X
    - Totally
      
      But very accurate colour comparison! I think we've been guilty of 'exploding a snickers' in the toilet bowl!
      
      Elaina_Casoolare @foppyish | 19 Sep '13, 17:39 | X
  - That's just funny on its own...but imagine if a friend was
    
    round and used the loo and you went in after an they'd left it looking like a snickers had exploded! Funny as fuck.
    
    Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 19 Sep '13, 17:31 | X
Some things really are better left kept to one's self

marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 11:59 | X
- however we found a crack pipe in our loos the other day
  
  marilyninthesky @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 12:00 | X
  - At work?!
    
    Raanraals @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 12:16 | X
    - Nice relaxing bit of crack for the afternoon.
      
      Chip_Batch @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 13:38 | X
      - Yes, and the building is all properly security locked so I'm guessing it must have been Theo the cleaner.
        
        marilyninthesky @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 13:45 | X
        
        ma0sm this'd this
        
        Oh Theo
        
        chadders @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 13:56 | X
        
        Chip_Batch and marilyninthesky this'd this
        
        classic theo the cleaner
        
        honking on the crack pipe on the company crapper
        
        inside-outside @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 13:57 | X
        
        *pub
        
        Epimer @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:01 | X
Sounds like he fancies you

inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 13:52 | X
How far down in the dog rankings has all this dropped him?

Also did he bring a clean set of clothes with him on the off chance you'd invite him in for a shower, or did he get back into his dirty ones again after? Seems a bit of a waste of time to me.

Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 14:49 | X
- I say waste of time
  
  I mean totally made up of course.
  
  Chip_Batch @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 16:38 | X
  
  matthewslaughter this'd this
It really depends if its your gf's mother's bathroom or not

creakyknees | 19 Sep '13, 15:38 | X
party on wildman!

Gorkys_Forever | 19 Sep '13, 15:47 | X
why didnt the guy have a shower in his own house?

TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:03 | X
- IGNORE THIS didnt read the thread
  
  TheKennedyCurse @TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:05 | X
  - It remains a pertinent question and one that has not yet been answered
    
    PickledOeuf @TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:11 | X
    - I retract my ignore this then
      
      TheKennedyCurse @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 16:17 | X
      - ^ everyone....ignore this retraction
        
        creakyknees @TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:40 | X
        
        while we're at it,
        
        shall we just ignore the made up story in the OP?
        
        Darcy @creakyknees | 19 Sep '13, 16:42 | X
        
        Just ignore Darcy, folks
        
        Raanraals @Darcy | 19 Sep '13, 16:46 | X
        
        You can ignore it all you like, the OP is probably off napping
        
        He has a great passion for napping.
        
        PickledOeuf @Darcy | 19 Sep '13, 17:09 | X
        
        *f
        
        Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 17:10 | X
So, is this the turkish dog who always washes his arse after crapping?

Or is this the swedish masseur who talks too much while he sweats on your back?

NoahVale | 19 Sep '13, 17:07 | X
- People who
  
  Raanraals @NoahVale | 19 Sep '13, 17:09 | X
i'm glad this one made it to 100 for you, you've earned it

foppyish | 19 Sep '13, 17:31 | X

umlaut_ampersand this'd this
really hate using toilet brushes.

really fucking unhygenic to scrub shit off something then just to leave it in its holster (haha, injoke) in the corner of the room. even if you rinse it via a couple of flushes, still gross. i think it's better to wipe the shit off with some roll, then just wash your hands.

to answer your query, though. if it was a mate's house i wouldn't bother getting rid of the shit stains if he was single. if he lived with his mrs, or in your case your mum, sure, common courtesy, innit. at home, though, nah, fuck that, a few flushes will sort it out.

mala | 19 Sep '13, 17:48 | X

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