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you wouldn't dirty another persons toilet and not clean it, would you?

Garrincha [Edit] [Delete] 106 replies 10:49, 19 September '13

nah

couple weeks ago I was round at my friends drinking rum and playing top spin tennis til 4am, despite having work the next day.

anyway, he very kindly dropped me home in the morning to have a shower and stuff and said he'd also drop me into work. nice guy.

anyway, we got back, I had a shower and asked him if he'd like one too. he did.

he had a shower, then a shit (obviously the wrong order, but that's not for now)

that evening when I came home and went to the loo, I noticed there was dirty marks in the toilet! I mean, who the hell wouldn't clean that up?

so yeah, that's something that happened to me a couple weeks ago

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  • Some people are animals and don't use the brush.

    I had to scrub the shit out of a splatty toilet bowl in work yesterday. Who can go knowing all that's there beneath, you eh?

    TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 10:55 | X
    • don't you have cleaners at work?

      jacques_le_biscuit_ @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:09 | X
      • Didn't you read his post?

        Theo is the cleaner.

        sadpunk @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 11:13 | X
        TheoGB, ma0sm, and marilyninthesky this'd this
        • We have cleaners, obviously.

          But they don't stand there in the toilet and clean after every person's had a dump. I wanted a shit right then.

          TheoGB @sadpunk | 19 Sep '13, 11:15 | X
          • Outside of opening hours?

            Balonz @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:16 | X
          • go to a different toilet then?

            You should probably get your bowels checked out.

            jacques_le_biscuit_ @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:18 | X
            • It was that 10.30ish time of day when all the toilets get occupied by other shitters.

              TheoGB @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 11:23 | X
              • see you in 5

                jacques_le_biscuit_ @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:25 | X
              • Like now

                No word of a lie, I am posting this whilst crimping off a fine length of copper cable.

                Raanraals @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:26 | X
              • They all sit in their traps with Theo leaing the chat

                Red Leader this is Gold Leader, I have breached the surface water, I repeat, I have breached the surface water.

                Same time tomorrow boys?

                Balonz @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:29 | X
          • Theo you monster

            marilyninthesky @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:50 | X
    • A brush?

      Filthy pig.

      If it gets dirty, whack a load of bleach down there, leave for a bit and flush to clean, or wipe it away with toilet paper.

      Better than having an ornamental, shit and piss-flecked plastic bog brush sitting on a permanent basis on your bathroom floor.

      Chip_Batch @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:23 | X
      hapi, areyouarealdoctor, and Epimer this'd this
      • yeah, i feel like this

        i'm all for not having shit smeared all over the toilet, but having it all over a brush in the corner instead? ridiculous

        cat_race @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 13:58 | X
        • best to wrap your hands in bog roll, dip it into the water slightly so its wet

          and you can get more purchase. Then just give it a gently rub. Crap just falls right off

          inside-outside @cat_race | 19 Sep '13, 14:18 | X
          • gently rub :)

            cat_race @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:39 | X
    • Were you worried about your turds coming into contact with other peoples' turds or something?

      Having to look at someone's turdsplosion whilst you brush away at it seems way more unpleasant than just taking a seat and getting to work.

      hapi @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 12:04 | X
  • those movie piracy ads really are thinking outside the box, huh.

    Verbal | 19 Sep '13, 10:58 | X
    NickDS this'd this
    • Out of the pirate box and into the shitting pan.

      TheWza @Verbal | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
  • Tell tale sign that your friend has sight problems

    probably due to a terminal disease that he doesn't feel comfortable talking about / even know he has and all you do is get angry at him.

    Shame on you.

    ma0sm | 19 Sep '13, 10:58 | X
  • Why do some people not have a toilet brush

    It's a major source of anxiety for me.

    oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 10:58 | X
    marilyninthesky this'd this
    • They use their nails.

      TheoGB @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 11:03 | X
      ma0sm this'd this
      • I bite my nails

        oojimaflop @TheoGB | 19 Sep '13, 11:17 | X
        • Extra flavour

          ma0sm @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 14:23 | X
    • they lick the bowl

      foppyish @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 11:20 | X
    • See above, my completely logical reply

      (dunno how to do that clever linking thing)

      Chip_Batch @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 11:25 | X
    • just lick your fingers and thumb it into the water

      inside-outside @oojimaflop | 19 Sep '13, 13:53 | X
  • I don't get why he showered at your house.

    He left his house to go to your house so you could get ready quickly but he decided to shower at your house in this short time. Shitting I understand but I never pop into someone's house for a quick shower unless I'm looking to get my nipsy fingered or offer a quick shower unless I'm looking to finger someone's nipsy.

    Please confirm.

    Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 10:59 | X
    PickledOeuf, monoshono, TheoGB, marilyninthesky, and andyvine this'd this
    • he was day off

      he was getting his haircut at 10am and hadn't showered before we left his house.

      Garrincha @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:06 | X
      • Top Spin session finished at 4.00am

        Haircut at 10.00am

        That's six hours (less lifts and travel time) to get showered at home.

        I hope he knocked the cost of the shower off the lift fare.

        Balonz @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:09 | X
        • no lift fare, bucko

          he also bought 2 sausage baps from his local bappery. one of the good guys

          Garrincha @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
          • Local bappery

            Chip_Batch @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:25 | X
            PickledOeuf this'd this
            • I knew

              PO would this that. Yes, we get it: you've got breasts.

              ;)

              Raanraals @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 11:29 | X
              PickledOeuf this'd this
              • photgraphic evidence request

                inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 13:53 | X
                • I'm afraid I don't have a photo

                  of PO's norks.

                  Raanraals @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:23 | X
                  • not with that attitude

                    inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 16:45 | X
        • good work B man

          the story doesn't stack up.

          jacques_le_biscuit_ @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:11 | X
          ma0sm this'd this
      • who has a shower before a haircut?

        thats mental

        inside-outside @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 13:50 | X
        • I do

          It's simply courtesy. Like douching before oral sex.

          Raanraals @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:24 | X
          • but you need to shower afterwards anyway

            think of the poor african kids you water wasting fiend

            inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 16:03 | X
            • Afterwards it's just a quick hair rinse

              not a full shower. Hardly any water used incrementally.

              Raanraals @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 16:05 | X
              • nah you're batshit crazy m8

                Gotta have a full shampoo after a haircut. Got to wash out all the barber's breath from your barnet

                inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 16:49 | X
  • tath was very grim and rude of him (maybe he thought you were in a massive rush to get to work?)

    Also, aren't you signed off work this week with stress/ Sorry to harp on like yer maw here, but staying up all night dirnking rum when you have work the next day isn't going ot help with that (don't get me wrong, I pull allnighters and go to work, but I haven't ever had to get signed off with stress on the back of it.)

    I say this not to nag, but as an observation which maybe only an outsider could pick up.
    Please look after yourself.

    PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:00 | X
    • He said work the NEXT day

      So I assume he had a good 29 hours off.

      Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:02 | X
      • Probably could have had a long lingering bath together instead then

        Balonz @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:04 | X
        • *fingering

          sadpunk @Balonz | 19 Sep '13, 11:08 | X
          PickledOeuf this'd this
      • I wouldn't assume that at all >

        "anyway, he very kindly dropped me home in the morning to have a shower and stuff and said he'd also drop me into work"

        PickledOeuf @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:07 | X
        Garrincha this'd this
        • I was being facetious

          Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:08 | X
          • Placeholder for a faeces/facetious joke

            Steved @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
            • faecesYOURS joke.

              (doesn't really work)

              TheWza @Steved | 19 Sep '13, 11:13 | X
              • I was being Sir Feeshus

                Raanraals @TheWza | 19 Sep '13, 11:54 | X
          • open goal here

            Lucien @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
          • I am occasionally exceptionally gullible, did you not know?

            PickledOeuf @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 11:16 | X
            • Sorry, don't know what that word means

              It's not in the dictionary.

              Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:28 | X
              PickledOeuf this'd this
    • actually signed off due to an ongoing health issue

      not sure what it is, but I have felt like shit for about a year now. might be wheat intolerance, might be m.e.
      might be whatever

      Garrincha @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
      • ahhhh, sorry, I was wrong in how I read your post about being signed off. SORRY.

        I hope you feel better soon and get to the bottom of it.

        PickledOeuf @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:16 | X
        • *praying the health issue is not related to his bottom*

          PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:17 | X
        • s'ok

          think I actually said I was signed off due to stress. thing is, I had a crazy shift on Friday where the client went batshit crazy and violent and I thought 'nah, fuck this' so signed off for stress and underlying health issues
          might never go back.

          Garrincha @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:19 | X
          • I hope you're ok

            I also hope that when the doctor signed you off, they actually took some time to see what can be done to help you instead of just issuing a sick line.
            Sounds like you eat well, do plenty of exercise and your all time dogs sound nice(and these are all v important things to have in your life) so that should help you narrow down what's making you poorly. Work? Weed consumption? I wonder if you're under-stimulated tbh, but I am now probably overstepping the line again. Take care. x

            PickledOeuf @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:26 | X
            • just for the record, then lets put this one to bed

              smoke weed recreationally - parties, indoor golf nights, hardly drink at all (had 6 beers in the last fortnight)
              but yea, thanks for your words. you're a good egg, egg

              Garrincha @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:47 | X
              • fair play. You mention it a bit more than that, so I hadn't realised you actually rarely do it :)

                Also, it's none of my damn business anyway, but I couldn't not say what seemed like quite an obvious connectoin.,

                Maybe you should jobhunt and find something which will make you happier/ less stresed/ unwell.

                In the meantime, you need some more indoor golf nights!

                PickledOeuf @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:51 | X
                • Is indoor golf a euphemism?

                  Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 11:56 | X
                  umlaut_ampersand this'd this
                  • thats indoor golf, maaaaaan

                    inside-outside @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 13:55 | X
      • I'm not a medical man but I suscribe a healthy diet of staying up

        late every night, smoking loads of weed and playing video games.

        jacques_le_biscuit_ @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:20 | X
        Chip_Batch this'd this
        • yep, you're actually an a1 prick

          Garrincha @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 11:21 | X
          • I've been promoted

            get in.

            jacques_le_biscuit_ @Garrincha | 19 Sep '13, 11:26 | X
            • me too

              and I also subscribe to that exact life

              inside-outside @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 19 Sep '13, 13:56 | X
  • probably a dirty protest for you not paying him for the lift home

    Epimer | 19 Sep '13, 11:10 | X
    Raanraals, ma0sm, umlaut_ampersand, oojimaflop, monoshono, Jamienaz, Chip_Batch, and chickenbones this'd this
  • i love you

    TheWza | 19 Sep '13, 11:14 | X
    marilyninthesky this'd this
    • Shower?

      Balonz @TheWza | 19 Sep '13, 11:15 | X
  • Shit happens

    chadders | 19 Sep '13, 11:14 | X
  • not cool, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

    Jordan_229_2 | 19 Sep '13, 11:18 | X
  • Can you stop talking about shit all the time, please?

    SigmundFreud | 19 Sep '13, 11:30 | X
    marilyninthesky this'd this
  • this is classic.

    1/ mention alcohol and staying up late
    2/ describe a deeply unlikley scenario (ie a mate popping in for a shower...i thought our protagonist had to get to work?)
    3/ cry like a tiny baby about some perceived slight that only those with the wettest of beds would even register, let alone bother to mention, let alone alone bother to make a post about.
    sorry garrincha, in a terrible mood.

    matthewslaughter | 19 Sep '13, 11:39 | X
    • :)

      Chip_Batch @matthewslaughter | 19 Sep '13, 11:42 | X
      monoshono, plasticniki, cheeseandbaconturnov, and alcxxk this'd this
  • for me, unless it looks like a snickers has exploded...

    i'm pretty cool about a bit of a dirty bowl, and i'm not too sure why people get so uptight about it.

    i mean, it's where you throw your poo away, why would you always expect pristine purity?

    feels a bit like getting angry at someone for making a mess in your bin.

    and also......collecting poo particles with a brush? much worse, no?

    michael_w | 19 Sep '13, 11:58 | X
    DaveMK this'd this
    • yeah now hes got something to aim at when he goes t'bog

      inside-outside @michael_w | 19 Sep '13, 13:51 | X
    • 'Unless it looks like a snickers has exploded'

      :D

      Elaina_Casoolare @michael_w | 19 Sep '13, 17:29 | X
      • that was a bit gross that bit

        foppyish @Elaina_Casoolare | 19 Sep '13, 17:30 | X
        • Totally

          But very accurate colour comparison! I think we've been guilty of 'exploding a snickers' in the toilet bowl!

          Elaina_Casoolare @foppyish | 19 Sep '13, 17:39 | X
      • That's just funny on its own...but imagine if a friend was

        round and used the loo and you went in after an they'd left it looking like a snickers had exploded! Funny as fuck.

        Elaina_Casoolare @Elaina_Casoolare | 19 Sep '13, 17:31 | X
  • Some things really are better left kept to one's self

    marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 11:59 | X
    • however we found a crack pipe in our loos the other day

      marilyninthesky @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 12:00 | X
      • At work?!

        Raanraals @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 12:16 | X
        • Nice relaxing bit of crack for the afternoon.

          Chip_Batch @Raanraals | 19 Sep '13, 13:38 | X
          • Yes, and the building is all properly security locked so I'm guessing it must have been Theo the cleaner.

            marilyninthesky @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 13:45 | X
            ma0sm this'd this
            • Oh Theo

              chadders @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 13:56 | X
              Chip_Batch and marilyninthesky this'd this
            • classic theo the cleaner

              honking on the crack pipe on the company crapper

              inside-outside @marilyninthesky | 19 Sep '13, 13:57 | X
              • *pub

                Epimer @inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 14:01 | X
  • Sounds like he fancies you

    inside-outside | 19 Sep '13, 13:52 | X
  • How far down in the dog rankings has all this dropped him?

    Also did he bring a clean set of clothes with him on the off chance you'd invite him in for a shower, or did he get back into his dirty ones again after? Seems a bit of a waste of time to me.

    Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 14:49 | X
    • I say waste of time

      I mean totally made up of course.

      Chip_Batch @Chip_Batch | 19 Sep '13, 16:38 | X
      matthewslaughter this'd this
  • It really depends if its your gf's mother's bathroom or not

    creakyknees | 19 Sep '13, 15:38 | X
  • party on wildman!

    Gorkys_Forever | 19 Sep '13, 15:47 | X
  • why didnt the guy have a shower in his own house?

    TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:03 | X
    • IGNORE THIS didnt read the thread

      TheKennedyCurse @TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:05 | X
      • It remains a pertinent question and one that has not yet been answered

        PickledOeuf @TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:11 | X
        • I retract my ignore this then

          TheKennedyCurse @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 16:17 | X
          • ^ everyone....ignore this retraction

            creakyknees @TheKennedyCurse | 19 Sep '13, 16:40 | X
            • while we're at it,

              shall we just ignore the made up story in the OP?

              Darcy @creakyknees | 19 Sep '13, 16:42 | X
              • Just ignore Darcy, folks

                Raanraals @Darcy | 19 Sep '13, 16:46 | X
              • You can ignore it all you like, the OP is probably off napping

                He has a great passion for napping.

                PickledOeuf @Darcy | 19 Sep '13, 17:09 | X
                • *f

                  Raanraals @PickledOeuf | 19 Sep '13, 17:10 | X
  • So, is this the turkish dog who always washes his arse after crapping?

    Or is this the swedish masseur who talks too much while he sweats on your back?

    NoahVale | 19 Sep '13, 17:07 | X
    • People who

      Raanraals @NoahVale | 19 Sep '13, 17:09 | X
  • i'm glad this one made it to 100 for you, you've earned it

    foppyish | 19 Sep '13, 17:31 | X
    umlaut_ampersand this'd this
  • really hate using toilet brushes.

    really fucking unhygenic to scrub shit off something then just to leave it in its holster (haha, injoke) in the corner of the room. even if you rinse it via a couple of flushes, still gross. i think it's better to wipe the shit off with some roll, then just wash your hands.

    to answer your query, though. if it was a mate's house i wouldn't bother getting rid of the shit stains if he was single. if he lived with his mrs, or in your case your mum, sure, common courtesy, innit. at home, though, nah, fuck that, a few flushes will sort it out.

    mala | 19 Sep '13, 17:48 | X
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