i'm not sure they should be touched by hand. you always feel gross on your hands after you finish a bag. yes, you can wash your hands but it's not like people go round touching dog shit just because they can wash their hands afterwards. if people from the future knew how we were eating crisps it would be like that whole wadded paper/three shells thing in timecop
anyway, you can't eat them with spoon, knife, fork or chopsticks. soem sort of air suction wouldn't work and it's frankly barbaric to drink them. splitting the bag the full way down like people do when they're sharing in a pub feels like the right way to start. i think the only solution is take your face to the crisps instead of vice versa. despite what you would think at first, it's the only reasonable solution.