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HANK GAFFY: Hey Gareth Bale can you lend me a tenner
GARETH BALE: Aw sorry mate I'm skint right now.
HANK GAFFY: Aw no that sucks.
GARETH BALE: Oh I can lend you that tenner now
HANK GAFFY: Thanks Gareth Bale
GARETH BALE: No problem Hank Gaffy
HANK GAFFY: Who's Hank Gaffy
GARETH BALE: What
GARETH BALE: That's right
GARETH BALE: What's going on
GARETH BALE: Time to set fire to Madame Tussauds
GARETH BALE: Alrght
and Robin van Per$ie's.
he'd be up for stumping some cash for my masters? Its only a couple of hours wages, Gareth. Please Gareth :(
Come on Gaz.
Like those visitor counters you used to get on websites in the early 2000s. I'd fit it in the wall and just watch it count out my money, £34 at a time every minute, all the way up to £15.6 million.
I have to work six hours without a toilet break running in out of a kitchen carrying loads of plates to get £34. he just has to continue breathing for 60 seconds.
It's £29.68 a minute. Bet some lawyers get more than that.
turned it down though so i'm gonna be really poor for a few months. everyone's getting sex vouchers for christmas.
he's not the enemy here - he's just a plaything of the truly rich & powerful
So given my understanding of the Spanish tax system in football I think that works out at approx £300k p/w net
Then tell em to stick it.
Come home and turn out for Tamworth every few weeks, between holidays like
Nothing else to say.
So he's paying £130K a week in taxes to the Spanish treasury. I have no problems with that nor him earning 15 mil a year.
However, I will be raging if his agent or accountants suggest that if he pays specialist tax advisers a retainer of, say, 2K a week, they can claw back a sizable portion of that 130K from the treasury using creative tax avoidance schemes available only to the rich. Rent-seeking behaviour at it's worst.
I'm a Southampton fan, and when you were playing your first matches for us as a fledging, but talented full-back, I would punch the air and applaud when you blasted in some of the finest direct free-kicks I'd ever seen. Although you were far from the finished article defensively, I sang your name.
When you had your long losing streak in your first years at Tottenham, I defended your name as an outrageous talent.
You are Welsh, and I have lived in Wales and I am full of love for that country and its people. Lovely people, lovely place.
Now that you have come into great wealth and fame, I'd like to ask you to contribute back. Even just a couple of minutes of your money would be a great help.
And as a sign that I am no golddigger, and continue to have your best interests at heart- let me say, Gareth, I totally understand why you have made the move of your dreams, but Real Madrid is going to be a very difficult placer for you. Any team with you and Ronaldo is likely to be severely unbalanced and arguably Madrid should have invested in other departments of the team. It's not your fault, but people may blame you. Don't play unless you're fully fit- as a galactico you will be expected to be stellar every match.
And finally you're welcome back at Southampton any time.
If you want to send a cheque, my address is :