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It's the humble stapler, isn't it?
Glad we agree.
Big fuck-off one with a handle you have to pull down.
big fan of getting the printer - copier to staple all my documents for me.
But then, some people just want to watch the world burn.
FACTOID: last guilotine execution in France: 1977
but any more than three or four is a massive pain in the arse. each sheet takes too long to just stand there watching it and not long enough to do something else in the meantime.
I feel like I haven't lived.
I can't choose. Coz you've got paper shredder and laminater as well.
Feed the beast, watch it eat
You press the button. It whirrs a bit. You don't see the fruit of your labour. You have to go and sit down again.
The one that does like 50 pages at a time. Pull that lever down, feel that metal bite and you're Walter fucking White for 0.01 of a second
with a family thats scared of him...
wont be using that stapler again!
Unless there is a satisfying heft to using it that goes beyond the purely digital.
I don't want the thread cluttered up by a bunch of Nigels/Theos talking about excel macros.
Binder (crunching through a dozen pages at a time)
Shredder (specifically when shredding CDs or DVDs)
It's a magic light box thing! It makes everything bigger! Oh noes, he just wrote on the glass instead of the laminate tee hee!
We'll have to stick to normal uses, I'm afraid, or we'll be forced to branch out into things like sticking a big Pritt Stick up your bum. And that's a whole other thread.
I don't think I could correctly identify a franking machine yet I know there is one in the office somewhere.
has had a franking machine, usually hidden away in the bowels of the building somewhere. Feeding loads of DL envelopes through the fucker was one of life's great pleasures.
I remember it was a bit urgent sometimes when it yanked through the letters. It's probably the nearest a white-collar worker gets to operating dangerous industrial machinery
too good to drop something in the post room if the collection has already been made? Disgusting.
BISH BASH BOSH
BASH BASH BASH
I have a couple of hundred CD's to shred this afternoon.
admittedly the new ones are a bit boring, but the end result (lots of neatly labelled things) is always satisfying.
what's a finger of fudge these days? 15p. Perfect cheap choc when you need a hit and begrudge paying 60+p for something in Smiths.
As for office equipment, I'll opt for the plug in stapler that sits next to the copier which is able to staple a decent wedge of paper. Could probably do an ear as well. Possibly a flappy pancake boob at a push.
Ctrl-F 'because you only have to deal with a couple of days of her crying at her desk after you tell her you're not leaving your wife'
The fact no one's posted this gives me a little faith in humanity outside of the morally bankrupt places I've worked in...