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Inside the Brentwood Holiday Inn Sex Den

hip_young_gunslinger [Edit] [Delete] 53 replies 16:53, 24 July '13

Ronseal

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/inside-story-Holiday-Inn-sex-den/story-19562484-detail/story.html

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is this some kind of alt lit

icouldwinarabbit | 24 Jul '13, 16:57 | X
- :D
  
  hip_young_gunslinger @icouldwinarabbit | 24 Jul '13, 16:57 | X
  
  umlaut_ampersand, alcxxk, plasticniki, marckee, and andyvine this'd this
now there's a thread title I can get behind

japes | 24 Jul '13, 16:58 | X
- stop, drop
  
  kaboom, baby
  
  japes @japes | 24 Jul '13, 17:03 | X
Holiday in-and-out more like

amyblue | 24 Jul '13, 16:58 | X
what the fuck

alcxxk | 24 Jul '13, 17:00 | X
One hates to be judgemental but that is a clearly shit piece of investigative journalism.

Ill-prepared, draws way too much intention to himself and gets kicked out before anything actually happens...

theguywithnousername | 24 Jul '13, 17:00 | X

marckee, alcxxk, johnwiddop, japes, PickledOeuf, andyvine, Oissin_, and jontosh2001 this'd this
- It even goes for the classic 'I made my excuses and left' line - the calling card of all local journalism trying to be hard hitting and invesitagtive.
  
  To be fair, local papers don't really have the resources and legal backing to let their reporters get into really deep shit.
  
  Also, I once knew of a local paper that an expose into a local brothel, only to discover that the very same brothel advertised itself as a massage parlour in the very same newspaper. Which was pretty embarrassing for all concerned.
  
  hip_young_gunslinger @theguywithnousername | 24 Jul '13, 17:04 | X
  - It's the fact that he openly gets his camera out and takes a few photos.
    
    What a idiot.
    
    marckee @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:05 | X
    - Maybe he thought they'd be into that?
      
      hip_young_gunslinger @marckee | 24 Jul '13, 17:07 | X
    - 'I made my excuses... cleaned myself off, pulled up my trousers, took some photos and left'
      
      amyblue @marckee | 24 Jul '13, 17:12 | X
Has this bloke not heard of paragraphs then?

Steved | 24 Jul '13, 17:02 | X
- It's standard newspaper style to run each sentence as a separate para.
  
  Might look a bit weird online, especially since it's a first person piece and less of a straight news report.
  
  hip_young_gunslinger @Steved | 24 Jul '13, 17:06 | X
  - it looks weird in a newspaper imo
    
    andyvine @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:36 | X
Artful Dodger. Three-quarter length trousers.

plasticniki | 24 Jul '13, 17:08 | X
- What can I say - it's Essex.
  
  hip_young_gunslinger @plasticniki | 24 Jul '13, 17:12 | X
ITT

no one just going ':D this is fucking mental' and commenting on journalistic ability.

Lighten up, shitsippers x

cocodaLOL | 24 Jul '13, 17:08 | X
- ability instead*
  
  cocodaLOL @cocodaLOL | 24 Jul '13, 17:09 | X
- Of all the things that are 'fucking mental'
  
  People from Essex meeting up in grotty hotel rooms to have sex isn't one of them.
  
  marckee @cocodaLOL | 24 Jul '13, 17:11 | X
  
  umlaut_ampersand this'd this
  - fair point
    
    but still, this just *is* amusing - everyone be getting dour.
    
    cocodaLOL @marckee | 24 Jul '13, 17:15 | X
- the only mental thing is that this was published
  
  honestly spent about 30 seconds looking for the rest of the piece, like it was hidden somewhere else on the page, rather than that being the real ending
  
  alcxxk @cocodaLOL | 24 Jul '13, 17:15 | X
  
  umlaut_ampersand, colinzealuk, japes, andyvine, badmanreturns, and spit-fire this'd this
  - i kind of like that
    
    it's like reading some kind of surreal haiku verses
    
    cocodaLOL @alcxxk | 24 Jul '13, 17:16 | X
    
    Oissin_ this'd this
Oh hang on guys - there IS a full story - that was some kind of 'behind the scenes' piece...

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/Exposed-Brentwood-hotel-room-used-sex-parties/story-19561767-detail/story.html

hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:19 | X
- hahaha what
  
  alcxxk @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:19 | X
- The manager of the hotel, Phil Lockwood, thanked the Gazette for bringing the sex parties to his attention.
  
  He said: I will be having a look into it
  
  hip_young_gunslinger @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:20 | X
  
  umlaut_ampersand, urbanfox, and jontosh2001 this'd this
  - I bet he will.
    
    halfagiraffe @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:23 | X
    
    PickledOeuf, badmanreturns, and meths this'd this
  - "I will be having a look into it and take a look at who placed the booking for said room and make sure they are deterred from using the room in future"
    
    any other room is fine though
    
    japes @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:31 | X
  - "...so there is a difficulty in controlling entrance and exits."
    
    I bet there is.
    
    lemonbrickcombo @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:35 | X
- imagine paying £40 to wank off onto a bird's face at the same time as a bunch of other guys
  
  alcxxk @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:23 | X
  - With the rise in online gaming and increasing city centre rental prices...
    
    Oh you know the rest
    
    lemonbrickcombo @alcxxk | 24 Jul '13, 17:33 | X
  - Imagine Bon Iver coming
    
    onto a woman's face in a provincial hotel room.
    
    hip_young_gunslinger @alcxxk | 24 Jul '13, 17:40 | X
    - :DDD
      
      alcxxk @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 18:32 | X
      
      lemonbrickcombo this'd this
- "Arrive 15 mins before the start (GB 17.30 Buk 19.30)"
  
  Buk = bukkake?
  
  marckee @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:23 | X
  - http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4433865#r7619963
    
    alcxxk @marckee | 24 Jul '13, 17:24 | X
  - GB = Theo?
    
    umlaut_ampersand @marckee | 24 Jul '13, 21:48 | X
- £69 per night!
  
  TheWza @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:27 | X
  
  andyvine this'd this
- The account has more than 4,000 followers ...
  
  Probably a higher readership than the paper has.
  
  TheWza @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:29 | X
- Brentwood Neighbourhood Policing Inspector Paul Wells said: "We are grateful that this has been brought to our attention and we will make relevant enquiries.
  
  "There may not be legislation to deal with all parties involved but there may be relevant legislation pertaining to the use of the building for such a purpose."
  
  Thanks guys, but this is totally legal yeah
  
  andyvine @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:42 | X
  - Maybe there are planning codes about the number of people allowed in a hotel room at one time.
    
    Not sure if that's entirely a legal matter though.
    
    hip_young_gunslinger @andyvine | 24 Jul '13, 17:56 | X
'Hi, I'd like to book a room for...'

'The hotel is no longer a sex den'
*hangs up*

labmonkeya529 | 24 Jul '13, 17:35 | X
Yes but

What makes a perfect pie?

chickenlover | 24 Jul '13, 17:24 | X
Lynne, these are sex people!

lemonbrickcombo | 24 Jul '13, 17:31 | X

japes, umlaut_ampersand, badmanreturns, and PickledOeuf this'd this
Some funny language there

the woman "sliding" on to the floor after having been sat on the bed... like did she just turn into a big pool of silver liquid like the terminator?

'without relish I kick off my shoes' - think the last point in the lifecycle that anyone kicks off shoes WITH relish is about ages 7 or 8 to go on a bouncy castle.

i mean imagine this guy kicking off his shoes and thinking 'oooh yeah this feels great'

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/user/lw-avatar/3532161/profileMedium1372253292086.png

now imagine him kicking off his shoes and thinking 'oooh really not enjoying kicking off these damn shoes for one'

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/user/lw-avatar/3532161/profileMedium1372253292086.png

yes_ | 24 Jul '13, 17:33 | X
- I like to think that he usually removes his shoes with a bit of coleslaw or something.
  
  marckee @yes_ | 24 Jul '13, 18:23 | X
When I came back from living in Australia

I had the choice of living for two weeks in the Holiday Inn Brentwood or the Holiday Inn Basildon whilst I found somewhere to live. From an apartment overlooking Sydney Harbour to Basildon. Dark days.

El_Goodo | 24 Jul '13, 17:36 | X
- You picked Basildon over Brentwood?
  
  Controversial.
  
  hip_young_gunslinger @El_Goodo | 24 Jul '13, 17:40 | X
  - but the right choice
    
    by the looks of things
    
    andyvine @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:44 | X
  - The Basildon Holiday Inn is in Bas Vegas!
    
    No contest. Nah, it was nearer to work and I lived in Bas (posh bit) before going to Aus so it kind of felt more like home.
    
    El_Goodo @hip_young_gunslinger | 24 Jul '13, 17:48 | X
    - Basildon has a posh bit?
      
      hip_young_gunslinger @El_Goodo | 24 Jul '13, 17:55 | X
Is Matt Cannon actually Greeny?

PickledOeuf | 24 Jul '13, 17:36 | X
- :D
  
  Hip does seem a bit defensive of the/Greeny's house style.
  
  MrBones @PickledOeuf | 24 Jul '13, 18:01 | X
Is this a Holiday Inn Sexpress

LOL!

urbanfox | 24 Jul '13, 17:46 | X
- sexpress Ho-tel
  
  badoomtish
  
  PickledOeuf @urbanfox | 24 Jul '13, 18:15 | X
Wank off a builder and then write about it.

LOLpop | 24 Jul '13, 17:47 | X

umlaut_ampersand and meths this'd this

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