Did any of you pasty virgins venture out from behind your screens to bask in the glorious sunshine this weekend? Yesterday me was an arrogant fool, lotion be damned I said. Today me wishes yesterday me was dead. The selfish idiot's ruined the whole day today - can't wear trousers, can't wear a shirt, undies are rubbing, socks are rubbing, face is so tight its like I was botoxed, arms are sore.
But in 2 days I'll be brown, deliciously, deliciously brown.