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Which three people living or dead, famous or otherwise would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with and why?
So I'd have to say my uncle.
I imagine even people who come across as total bellends can turn out to be fairly useful and resilient when stuck in a difficult situation like that. You'd have to come up with people who were nakedly selfish and unpleasant. I'll have a think.
and Richard Madeley.
Douglas Murray - not just because he's right wing, I can handle that, more because he's so unpleasant and he's really prickly and unlikable.
T-Mobile Josh from Josh's Band.
Anyone too cheerful.
Anyone too miserable.
Bear Ghryls and that other guy because they'd get all alpha male on me and I wouldn't get a look in.
CG - Would just be painfully and idiotically dull. Every fucking day. Scrub that I'd eat him on day 2.
Andy Murray's mum (or maybe Lewis Hamilton's dad - some sportsperson's parent, they're all dicks)
I think the worst people to be stuck with would be the really hopelessly negative ones. Not necessarily the biggest twats, because if I was stuck on a desert island with someone like Joey Barton I'd make it my mission to escape because they'd be too annoying to tolerate. Similarly if I was stuck there with some wacky phone advert pissclowns who assessed the situation as "not totes amazeballs" I'd want to kill them but I assume they'd at least help to build a raft.
The worst people to be stuck with would be the ones who just sat there sulking about how they couldn't be bothered and how shit everything is. So probably Mark from my old work, my cousin Allister and untrue.
I could handle being eaten, tortured or starving to death on a desert island, but having to do polite fake laughs? No way.
creepy guy from the BT homehub adverts