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time to hand in me notice i reckon
Would rather play pub golf tbh.
pub skittles is fun
and crazy golf
Unlike the actual game of Golf, Pub Golf involves no ball or fairway.
Just did a (minor) spit-take and now I have water dribbling down my chin
DENNIS: Reginald how would a pub fit in one of the golf holes this sounds like a stupid game
REGINALD: Well Dennis let me explain: Pub Golf or Bar Golf is a recreational drinking game involving a selection of either nine or eighteen pubs (Public House/Bar), creating a "course" to be played by two or more people. It is essentially a pub crawl made into a game. Unlike the actual game of Golf, Pub Golf involves no ball or fairway.
DENNIS: Please elaborate DERAREST COMPADRE
REGINALD: Very well: Like the game of Golf, however, Pub Golf does have the standard 9 or 18 different "holes"; that is, each bar is considered a "hole". The bars to be visited during the game are predetermined and numbered; these numbers determine the order in which each bar will be visited. Prior to playing the game, a par number (ranging from 1 to 5) also needs to be determined for each bar. E.g. Hole "5" (at Pub #5)- Par 4= One pint of beer.
The par number represents how many drinks/sips/gulps it should take to complete the drink assigned. Therefore, in the example given, at hole 5, if the pint of beer is completed in 4 drinks, the person drinking that pint is awarded a par. However many drinks it takes to complete the assigned drink should be recorded on a scorecard. (Thus, 5 drinks @ Hole 5= +1 to your score).
The drinks assigned to the different "holes" (pubs) should vary, and should be reasonable when taking into account the par number (number of gulps it takes to finish). A simple shot, for example, should suffice for a par one.
A time limit for each hole must also be determined before the game is played. Thirty minutes is generally sufficient, but it can vary depending on your party size and focus.
There are many different variations of pub golf played, and some games add hazards to the course. E.g. Certain holes can be assigned as having a water hazard. This means that the restroom cannot be used while playing that hole, or else a penalty stroke is given.
DENNIS: I fele honoured to have learned these lessons
A PASSER-BY: You're just a shit Roscoe and Marlon
REGINALD: We are not we are unique original characters you cad
DENNIS: Yes a passer-by crucially we are...
(A PASSER-BY shoots DENNIS several times through the face with a crossbow shooting not arrows but massive Olympic standard javelins)
DENNIS: ow my face Reginald now I die
REGINALD: NO DENNIS NOOO Even with all that I know of death --- Death is the permanent cessation of all biological functions that sustain a particular living organism. Phenomena which commonly bring about death include biological aging (senescence), predation, malnutrition, disease, suicide, murder and accidents or trauma resulting in terminal injury. Bodies of living organisms begin to decompose shortly after death. There is no evidence that consciousness survives the death of an organism.
In human societies, the nature of death and humanity's awareness of their own mortality has for millennia been a concern of the world's religious traditions and of philosophical inquiry. This includes belief in resurrection (associated with Abrahamic religions), reincarnation or rebirth (associated with Dharmic religions), or that consciousness permanently ceases to exist, known as oblivion.
Commemoration ceremonies after death may include various mourning or funeral practices. The physical remains of a person, commonly known as a corpse or body, are usually interred whole or cremated, though among the world's cultures there are a variety of other methods of mortuary disposal. In the English language, blessings directed towards a dead person include rest in peace, or its initialism RIP.
The most common cause of human deaths in the world is heart disease, followed by stroke and other cerebrovascular diseases, and in the third place lower respiratory infections. --- I still was not prepared for the daetah of my friend Dennis
(four hours pass)
REGINALD: Oh shit I forget to record Your Face Sounds Familiar NOOOO
There is a place here called The Golf Lounge, is that hwat you mean? It looks alright, not bad food and drink deals and stimulators and stuff. I might go there this afternoon for a bit.
yeah, I might SWING BY there later.
it's full of absolute thunderclunges
pub golf is a drinking game, if you get a par 5, such as a pint, and down it in one go you are said to be 4 under par.
repeat ad nauseaum, literally
I need to take somebody out for a pimms or something in about half an hour. Am I allowed to go to the tiki bar???
it'll be fucking roasting today though
i'd recommend the beer garden at chinaskis!
I wnat to be within a block or two of the office. TIKI it is.
which it seems to be whenever I walk past these days.
visors and argyle tanktops laughing too loudly while one person shouts at them all to drink?
That's actually an intricately-devised bunch of utter cunts.
Nobody should do pub golf.
when people are dressed up in that gear they just get laughed at or looked at with disgust. Landlords must hate them, I have even seen a sign saying "no idiot pub crawls" in an area with posh Bristol Uni students. How can they not realise they look like dicks and everyone hates them?