The other one's far too long...
Swansea pay £5m for Jonjo Shelvey!
Palace splodge a similar amount on a kid who was playing in the non-leagues about a year ago.
Spanish press reporting Barca are signing fanboy favourite Ilkay Gundogan to replace United-bound money-grabber Thiago wotsit, have also bid about £30m for the world's best centre-half Thiago Silva.
Negredo to City sounds like a goer, with fees being reported varying from £17.5m to about £96m.
Arsenal continue to do quite a good job of ridding themselves of dead wood.
Chelsea stockpile another promising young midfielder, plan £10m bid for £50m Man City target Daniele de Rossi.
Fiorentina close in on Mario Gomez.
A club, thought to be PSG, activate Edinson Cavani's £53.5m release clause.
Brave Brave Scotty Parker considering QPR move. Dunno how doing completely unecessary 360 degree turns in the middle of the park will go down in the Championship.
Perchinio signs for Wigan.
Some good results in the Europa League qualifiers for some teams you've never really heard of.