Boards

the fuckers.

1. I faint if I don't eat regularly. I get a bit grouchy about the prospect of fainting.
2. cake is great, STFU.
3. Eating in the cinema is great, STFU.

I have no views on 4.
On 5, I don't get grumpy about being sleepy, I just revert to 6 year old child state.

calling their work pc a piece of shit and stuff like that, when it's obvious that they've actually just closed 2 hours of work without saving it.

don't know how I've gotten away with it for so long

like half a roast chicken and chips or something.

it's really bad, he gets so aggro if he goes like 2 hrs without eating

Have something to eat.

in quite a lot of office jobs i've had i've noticed that women are kind of allowed to get away with being brash with people and biting others heads off, whether that be customers, colleagues, etc, etc.

when a guy ever does similar it's serious fucking business. if a woman does it people always pussyfoot around them as if there's almost certainly some deep, understandable emotional cause. then, if you point this out you get painted out as some sort of huge sexist.

it's a very weird phemomenon that i might have just imagined, idk.

also, cricket.

11) People less successful than me making me self conscious of my privilege

Silly methodor

Women who don't understand gender roles, beta males, and people who don't find memes funny.

can we add people going on about their love of bacon? Like, everyone likes bacon, pretty much, but going on about how much you love it, suggesting adding it to everything, talking about it like you have a real interest/degree in bacon is fucking tiresome shit

Girls who say they are feminists, but really they're just bitter and hate men. These people do exist, so don't freak out.

Also, to be just as fair, men who hate women. Why? Get over it. Stop being a n00b. ALL OF YOU.

Also: Me. I'm doing 100 days of being a cunt. Feels good man.

*plays One Love by Bob Marley*

Only a huge cunt would spell it like that.

COME ON PEOPLE

ie people who have a particular cause they're passionate about at the expense of everything else and therefore are horribly judgmental, completely unpragmatic and have no empathy for fellow human beings who don't share exactly the same priorities. It might be people passionate about feminism or racism, or it could be a health freak not understanding why people smoke.

I know it takes people like that to force change (change depending on the unreasonable man (bit sexist) and all that) and I'm gratefukl for their existence but they're fucking frustrating to have any kind of debate with as they're blind to the fact that they have top share the planet with other people.

Don't reply with some smart-arsed sarcastic comment like "yeah, those unreasonable people who care about racism" lest you expose yourself for being an entirely different type of cunt.

I know that supposedly we should praise him for his 'brave' film choices, but playing a heavily made up weirdo was only brave the first twelve times. And he dresses like a 14 year old whose parents run a craft stall.

and you can't call them a cunt because they thrive on drama and it's not even slightly worth the effort. those are the ones that truly get away with it.

maybe one of the above reasons will explain your post, have a cake chuck

I was raring to go.

And especially cuntish if you've not eaten/slept by your own free will.

YOU
MOVE...
...DOWWN

PLEASE

ver·bal·ize motherfuckers

Yeah keep whinging and maybe someone will fall into your lap.

because they just got knocked out of the 2nd round of Masterchef or something equally trivial. You wonder how these people would react to something genuinely devastating like the loss of a loved one or something. I mean, I'd love to be on Masterchef and if I got knocked out I'd be pissed off, but you wouldn't see me blubbing for the cameras.

Girls who hug & scream every time they see each other, even though they see each other several times a fucking week. You're not Italian for fuck's sake. Calm down.

when really they just like things a bit neat and tidy.

> over-exaggerate their discomfort of one sort or another:
''I'm in agony'' (no, it hurts a bit)
''This is a disaster'' (what? Compared to the Boxing Day Tsunami?)
''No-one understands me'' (huh - I understand you better than you think...)

> People who use the line: ''you can't possibly understand what I'm going through because it has never happened to you''.

Responsibility for insults, fights, sexual congress, and general bad behaviour is abdicated on the grounds that ''I had too much to drink''. Grow up.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BIN YOU TEAPOT GIMP

ale, cupcakes, football, cats, tattoos...

but then trail off when they get distracted by something else and go quiet and then say 'sorry be with you in a sec'

mother/taxpayer/person of faith" and so on. usually followed by some horrendous indefensible statement. translates, "as a bigot..."

they dont give a shit about Andy, they just want everyone to notice them.

make puns based on Smee (and to a lesser extent Meths)

and then when someone points this out to them they say something offhand like "oh i haven't read the thread". or "stopped reading at...". then why are you posting in the thread at all you smug git? you might as well just write in your diary or talk to your cat, you'll be contributing just as much.

shallow fuckers

why would you do that?

ignoring the cleverly designed tab/slot system

....won't eat liver/kidney/black pudding, but will eat horrid processed meat products - and have the cheek to go 'EUUUUURGH' whilst I'm tucking into some devilled chicken livers. Your sausage is made from pigs arselips you fat fuck.

....Ride their cycle on the pavement at speed like some sort of speedracer fuckwit / or cycle through red lights (unless it's 4am and the streets are completely empty - then it's your call fellalady)

....ram their buggies/pushchairs into my legs whilst walking down the street. I always thought maybe they were difficult to steer, like shopping trollies, but now I have a pram, and realise it's not that hard to avoid people, I realise that they're just self-important child-spawning fatfucks.

....have children, and then complain all the time about the fact they have no social life/are tired. YOU CHOSE TO HAVE/KEEP A CHILD - SO SHUTTHEFUCKUP.

....Goalhangers, I fucking HATE goalhangers.

....wear their collars 'popped'.

....wear trousers too short, on purpose, with a little bit of ankle showing, and then a nice pair of brogues, without socks, or with trainer socks. You look like a simpleton and make a mockery of a nice pair of brogues.

....put milk in the mug before the teabag. GTFO

....Waitresses/waiters who ask "are you enjoying your meal" when you've barely got a fork into your mouth? (Restaurants that think this is good customer service, and tell their waiters/waitresses to do this is more the issue)

....Pubs trying to chare £6 for a pint of Brooklyn Lager, it's not rare, it's not amazing, but I'd like a pint as it's not a bad drop, and you're just taking the fucking piss right out of my penis, you price-inflating wankers.

....An old'n but a real pet peeve. Just a general 'wankers that don't know how to act on public transport' category, this is including but not exclusive to:

Not letting people off the bus/train/tube first
Not stepping off the tube/bus to let people off if it's rammed (The driver has never driven off and left you stranded before has it? SO DO IT.)
Having appalling body odour, and casually holding onto a ceiling / handle thing, wafting your rank armpit all over the ruddy shop. GTFO.
Putting your bag/coat on a seat and not moving it the moment it becomes clear someone needs a seat. (also see, people who sit in the ailse seat, thus blocking the other)
Wankers talking VERY loudly on phones.
Wankers listening to music VERY loudly.
Wankers eating burger king meals.
Just general wankery really.

I realise there is some thread repatition, but I feel the need to have an outpour*

*Oversharers: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS/LIFE/OPINION.

tea-wanker.i bloody love how much it winds up tea dickheads. tea dickheads are almost as bad as beer dickheads.but not as bad as a guy i spoke to on the phone once at work who said "i dare say a few drops of ale may pass these lips tonight". i had to put the phone down on him or i would have said something astonishingly offensive.

and I'd let her

Really? You think that dull populists like Jarvis Cocker should actually be Prime Minister just cos he went on Question Time five years ago and said "yeah, like, drugs should be legal an that". You really think Thom Yorke should be president of the world just cos he's reached the shocking conclusion that war is shit and climate change is fucking terrifying?

Couldn't give a shit about cake.
Theres nothing better than takeaway pizza in the cinema, it is you who is the cunt for not embracing this wonderous tradition.
My parents are a little on the chubby side, so what, they're my parents.
Horribly guilty of 5, though only in the mornings or if ive been dragged out to a shitty club after a full days work just to wingman a friend.

Grow up you fucking toddlers.

f***ing censor their words on the internet. The c*nts

and worse... people who censor non-curse words because they're 'bad'.

If you're a grown up and mummy and daddy let you swear, fucking swear and stop being a bellend.