Boards
people who are cunts but never get called out on being cunts
1. people that get "grouchy" because they're hungry - grow the fuck up. there are people in the world starving to death, you can go 4 hours without a fucking cake without giving someone attitude.
2. people who get excited and enthusiastic over cake or other baked goods, men in particular.
3. people who eat in the cinema. It's not a restaurant fuck off
4. fat parents.
5. people who get "grouchy" because they're tired. FUCKING DEAL WITH IT
filed under: people whom
1 and 5. oh my god. that's a thing
the fuckers.
hiya.
uh oh, i'm a cunt on 1-3
1. I faint if I don't eat regularly. I get a bit grouchy about the prospect of fainting.
2. cake is great, STFU.
3. Eating in the cinema is great, STFU.
I have no views on 4.
On 5, I don't get grumpy about being sleepy, I just revert to 6 year old child state.
RE: 1 - rationalising your greed
as evidenced by 2 and 3
no
I actually faint. I get really low bloody sugar. it is a Thing.
I can be quite greedy sometimes, yes, but I don't feel the need to rationalise it and that's not what I'm talking about here.
6: hot girls
7: People who whip out food when they get on a train
Its a 40 minute journey to Glasgow you fucking future paedo. Youre not going to the fucking moon.
8: People who drink outside of coffee shops
If you want to be Italian, piss off. We became the EU so you could go.
9: People who refer to themselves as foodies
bet cocodalol does this on his plentyoffish profile
:D
never. Even I have never done this. And I am a real, *real* cunt. But people call me out about that all the time so i don't count
It's up there with
'I'm a creative'
which means
I know what videos are popular and 'viral' on the Internet that we can copy to advertise mobile phones
oh god this ^
:(
I had wotsits on the train back yesterday. For breakfast. Train was practically empty though, so there wasn't really anyone to offend.
We need to have a stern word sometime
I was *holds fingers half an inch apart* THIS close to fainting.
Sorry for calling you a future paedo :(
FUTURE
Wotsits on a train is the one
"you fucking future paedo"
:'D
People who start to use their mouse/keyboard with excessive force
calling their work pc a piece of shit and stuff like that, when it's obvious that they've actually just closed 2 hours of work without saving it.
People who grind their scroll wheel but don't do anything about it
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
*crrrrrrrrrrrrk*
SHUT UP!
I mever thought about having to save work on offices
Just assumed it got put out live into the work world
Where do you make it go for it to become an active bit of work?
me.
don't know how I've gotten away with it for so long
3 is fine unless it's ridiculous
like half a roast chicken and chips or something.
christ, I could murder half a roast chicken and chips right now.
no.3 get called out all the time
I don't think there's anything wrong with it
The problem is that all the food you get at the cinema is really loud. If all you got was tubs of marshmallows or cup-a-soup it'd be fine.
i don't care if they're cunts or not, just have a problem with saying they never get called out for it
People whinge about it constantly
Guilty of (1)
guilty of 1 and 5
my friend is a 1
it's really bad, he gets so aggro if he goes like 2 hrs without eating
fucking rage
his excuse is always that he cycled wherever we are
Mehodor
he's ok really but not as good at trolling as he used to be
To be fair it was more that it was the easy joke.
Sorry Mehodor.
You seem tetchy
Have something to eat.
this is absolutely nothing to do with periods, but...
in quite a lot of office jobs i've had i've noticed that women are kind of allowed to get away with being brash with people and biting others heads off, whether that be customers, colleagues, etc, etc.
when a guy ever does similar it's serious fucking business. if a woman does it people always pussyfoot around them as if there's almost certainly some deep, understandable emotional cause. then, if you point this out you get painted out as some sort of huge sexist.
it's a very weird phemomenon that i might have just imagined, idk.
also, cricket.
actually, reading this back, it's a bit seat up/down.
can it, Teho.
kind of like this in my office
The ladies like a shout, swear and do quite a lot of loud groans and grrrs. Us meek dudes raise an eyebrow sometimes but let them get on with it.
it's a difficult one and i'm sure it can seem unfair
but you really are brave and a bit stupid if you honestly point this out in the workplace.
i mean...another shareholder mentioned it briefly at the last AGM.
i shot him down, obviously.
Not sure this is a thing
Wouldn't let anyone I was supervising be rude to customers. Would tell them to take five minutes and chill out.
Lots of people are moody bastards, men and women.
I'd never thought of it in gender terms, actually,
but there's a woman here who is a total arse on the phone to clients, agencies, colleagues and other departments whenever she feels like it and she never gets called out on it because she has slept with the boss previously and he's a total pushover. She also occasionally declares that her work day is over and just fucks off without a backward glance and has the WORST absence record I've ever seen but will never get fired.
Then again there's a guy who has rage fits at inanimate objects, tells unbelievably loud, inappropriate (but funny in a bleak way) stories and has, on occasion, not made it in to work because he got smashed and slept in a hedge or whatever, and everyone's all "oh, classic [guy's name]!" so it balances out. I mean, if a guy talked to people like Woman A does, he'd be (rightly) called out for his aggressive behaviour and disciplined, but if a woman was as reckless as Man B, she'd have DEFINITELY been sent for some sort of counselling. Not sure of point. I think it's that individuals get away with things, rather than genders.
Have you ever been a woman?
Apparently, its pretty rubbish, like. Maybe to the point that they deserve our sympathy and/or a bit of a cuddle, idk?
10) People more successful than me making me feel inferior
11) People less successful than me making me self conscious of my privilege
5 would be everyone
Silly methodor
Feminists
Women who don't understand gender roles, beta males, and people who don't find memes funny.
"feminists don't find memes funny"?
bit of an unfair generalisation, man
Y U GENERALISE
oh you've done me
strong parody!
missed a trick there
should've gone for "Mehodour"
2.
can we add people going on about their love of bacon? Like, everyone likes bacon, pretty much, but going on about how much you love it, suggesting adding it to everything, talking about it like you have a real interest/degree in bacon is fucking tiresome shit
bacon is pretty good though, let's be real here
I COULD NEVER BE VEGETARIAN
I THINK ID MISS BACON TOO MUCH IM A RATE CARNIVORE ME BACON
bacon is easily the most overrated meat product
I mean, it's fine, but people do fetishize it to some completely absurd level.
bacon and mustaches
Especially given that sausages are better
In fact, order of essential breakfast items:
1. Sausages (link)
2. Eggs (fried or scrambled)
3. Tattie scone.
4. Bacon.
5. Sausage (square)
6. Mushrooms.
7. Haggis.
8. Fried bread.
9. Black pudding.
10. Toast.
Beans can fuck off.
you're a mental
judging by this list
he/she's got some interesting points to make
let's hear him/her out
I can get behind this 'beans can fuck off' position
I want everything on a breakfast to taste like fat or brown sauce. Not tinny, oversweet tomato goop. Beans are for on toast only for me.
I don't mind em in certain contexts
but I can't be dealing with that shit in the morning
Maybe with fish and chips
when purchased from a works canteen or something.
you forgot jacket potato
even better than on toast. maybe. or in a mountain of mash.
both with so much cheese.
What's mental about sausages?
Beans CAN fuck off!
9. should be higher.
the same for people going on about their love of gin
as if it's some special magical alcoholic drink and also their hobby.
people creep me out when they show that level of interest in alcohol
if you're literally not Byron you shouldn't have such an interest in absinthe
...
http://tweeisacancer.tumblr.com
one of those is a bit tenuous
she says she also likes wine, beer, cider and vodka
oh god this is just the worst
People are gonna hate me for this but I'm gonna say it
Girls who say they are feminists, but really they're just bitter and hate men. These people do exist, so don't freak out.
Also, to be just as fair, men who hate women. Why? Get over it. Stop being a n00b. ALL OF YOU.
Also: Me. I'm doing 100 days of being a cunt. Feels good man.
*plays One Love by Bob Marley*
Hate you
I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!
^Graham Coxon
even mehodoor wouldn't say that
Smee faced very little blowback for spelling the word willie's [sic] in that other thread
Only a huge cunt would spell it like that.
Willie's
Blowback.
Rick Fucking Stein
COME ON PEOPLE
Why?
are you shitting me?
You can only judge a man on the quality of his friends:
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4432348#r7568468
Nah, he's alright.
Bit of an old woman, but he's alright.
Single-issue obsessives
ie people who have a particular cause they're passionate about at the expense of everything else and therefore are horribly judgmental, completely unpragmatic and have no empathy for fellow human beings who don't share exactly the same priorities. It might be people passionate about feminism or racism, or it could be a health freak not understanding why people smoke.
I know it takes people like that to force change (change depending on the unreasonable man (bit sexist) and all that) and I'm gratefukl for their existence but they're fucking frustrating to have any kind of debate with as they're blind to the fact that they have top share the planet with other people.
Don't reply with some smart-arsed sarcastic comment like "yeah, those unreasonable people who care about racism" lest you expose yourself for being an entirely different type of cunt.
Actually these people get called out on being cunts by other cunts
Richard Littlejohn makes a living from calling them out. I therefore have made a point so astute and unique it's worthy of Littlejohn.
I am therefore calling myself out for being a cunt.
Sounds like me about the royal family
i suppose it does a little bit
but I can't say that I find you frustrating on the subject.
And you are regularly called out for being a cunt, whether you're being one or not.
Johnny Depp
I know that supposedly we should praise him for his 'brave' film choices, but playing a heavily made up weirdo was only brave the first twelve times. And he dresses like a 14 year old whose parents run a craft stall.
I only agree with the clothes bit
But yeah
people that are always moaning and complaining about other people
and you can't call them a cunt because they thrive on drama and it's not even slightly worth the effort. those are the ones that truly get away with it.
Are you that bell that was harping on about something else and getting everything wrong the other week?
I lose track.
that doesn't sound like me AT ALL
you must be mistaken
I hear the brain reacts when it's tired or hungry
maybe one of the above reasons will explain your post, have a cake chuck
People/artists that say things like
"I'd rather be hated than ignored".
Really? i'd rather just get on with my life, you needy cunt.
Thought this was going to be about people on here.
I was raring to go.
:DD
me too! Especially from some of the posts today...
http://www.troll.me/images/ancient-aliens-guy/girls-girls.jpg
1 and 5 are acceptable but ONLYif you're grouchy with someone who's actively prevented you from eating or sleeping.
And especially cuntish if you've not eaten/slept by your own free will.
CAN
YOU
MOVE...
...DOWWN
PLEASE
I'm proud to be that cunt
this guy at work who WONT STOP TALKING TO ME
yeah he mentioned you'd say that
in the
If the person sitting next to you started a thread about how annoying the person sitting next to them was (i.e. you) what would it say?
thread
feel mean actually
he's a nice enough guy, just really dull
sorry guy
:)
People who do further maths.
aw
sometimes I wish I'd done Further Maths
*meths
*FurSmee Methsmee
ban fucking everyone
I did further maths, was probably the most cuntish in my class tbh
Everyone was pathologically insecure and arrogant and there was a pecking order and everything, it got genuinely horrible towards the end of the year.
And the year below us were all genuinely intelligent,
as opposed to our year who were all just hugely arrogant, and we all got a bit insecure around them and acted like complete idiots on a college trip to impress them. It was all massively pathetic and I wish I hadn't done it.
And we went to a talk about maths, and the guy giving the talk accused me of being a fez-dealer
People who tut
ver·bal·ize motherfuckers
tsk
People who complain all the time about being single or "forever alone" or whatever bullshit they've decided the world has against them that day
Yeah keep whinging and maybe someone will fall into your lap.
THIS x 10000000000000
People who cry on TV
because they just got knocked out of the 2nd round of Masterchef or something equally trivial. You wonder how these people would react to something genuinely devastating like the loss of a loved one or something. I mean, I'd love to be on Masterchef and if I got knocked out I'd be pissed off, but you wouldn't see me blubbing for the cameras.
Girls who hug & scream every time they see each other, even though they see each other several times a fucking week. You're not Italian for fuck's sake. Calm down.
also people who cry because they get through
the cretins
I remember watching masterchef a few seasons back...
a grown man was crying tears of sadness over the fact he was messing up a simple black forest gateau. Sitting on the floor weeping and rocking her was...
amazing television and hope it's on youtube. I bet his mates call him 'Gateau' now.*
*He has no friends.
pensioners
People who say they have OCD
when really they just like things a bit neat and tidy.
One of these phrases is socially acceptable in polite conversation
"Oh god I'm so OCD, I can't stand the place to be a tip"
"Oh god I'm so cancer, I swear I'll be bald by the time I'm twenty three"
People who
> over-exaggerate their discomfort of one sort or another:
''I'm in agony'' (no, it hurts a bit)
''This is a disaster'' (what? Compared to the Boxing Day Tsunami?)
''No-one understands me'' (huh - I understand you better than you think...)
> People who use the line: ''you can't possibly understand what I'm going through because it has never happened to you''.
but my hayfever really WAS that bad
Get out
There are loads of medical exaggerations
"migraine" - it's a headache sorry
"sunstroke" - no, you are tired and have a bit of sunburn
"the flu" - a bad cold
I know these things do exist, but nowhere near as often as people make out.
Overly friendly/chatty people who can't tell when people don't want to be talked to
this is a complicated one
because sometimes I'm annoyed by the onslaught of words I have to respond to, but they're just so friendly that I feel like I'm the bad person (which I am, but then they're ALSO a bad person for not noticing that I'm a bad person)
People who use alcohol as an excuse for being a cock
Responsibility for insults, fights, sexual congress, and general bad behaviour is abdicated on the grounds that ''I had too much to drink''. Grow up.
I'm baking danishes on the weekend and I'm ridiculously excited
people who throw their fag butts on the floor after they've finished with them
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BIN YOU TEAPOT GIMP
people who do TED talks
people who have a thing instead of a personality
ale, cupcakes, football, cats, tattoos...
people who start telling you something
but then trail off when they get distracted by something else and go quiet and then say 'sorry be with you in a sec'
inb4
the thing about people who do this is... umm.. that........... they........... hang on a sec
people who begin any sentence with "as a..."
mother/taxpayer/person of faith" and so on. usually followed by some horrendous indefensible statement. translates, "as a bigot..."
Any cunt that shouts "go andy" or some shit during wimbledon
they dont give a shit about Andy, they just want everyone to notice them.
wimbledon spectator humour is so, so awful
like today - crowd start celebrating a point, then realise it was a fault, then everyone laughs at everyone thinking it was a point....It's definitely not because I'm jealous I'm not there, it's simply that they all seem like such terrible, terrible cunts.
THE CENTRE-COURT'S AMUSEMENT AT A BALLBOY'S MISHAP
THAT JOGGING UP AND DOWN THING THAT THEY DO AT THE PROMS
People who
make puns based on Smee (and to a lesser extent Meths)
yeah its painful
people who don't read the thread before posting in it
and then when someone points this out to them they say something offhand like "oh i haven't read the thread". or "stopped reading at...". then why are you posting in the thread at all you smug git? you might as well just write in your diary or talk to your cat, you'll be contributing just as much.
People who post without reading the contents of a thread
shallow fuckers
people who don't even bother reading before commenting
why would you do that?
People who would prefer to just wade in all gung-ho without referencing the context of what's gone before
People who suffer from amnesia
People who don't take into account what else has been said before tendering their own doubtless underinformed opinions
People who suffer from memory loss
alright, chumbawumba
People who read entire threads, forget them, and then post anyway
i tried, i really did
i tried to ignore it. i tried to just brush it off. but i'm irked. i hope you're happy.
Paaple hooi blg fgg brr cmaaa gluplop bezzeng ffimposh ciritengas vobb vobb vobb vobb vobb vobb vobb
Story toppers
"The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one." - Sid Caesar
People who haphazardly tear open virgin breakfast cereal boxes
ignoring the cleverly designed tab/slot system
Richard Branson put that system there for a reason
Bran(son) Flakes
Jarvis Cocker
No.
People who:
....won't eat liver/kidney/black pudding, but will eat horrid processed meat products - and have the cheek to go 'EUUUUURGH' whilst I'm tucking into some devilled chicken livers. Your sausage is made from pigs arselips you fat fuck.
....Ride their cycle on the pavement at speed like some sort of speedracer fuckwit / or cycle through red lights (unless it's 4am and the streets are completely empty - then it's your call fellalady)
....ram their buggies/pushchairs into my legs whilst walking down the street. I always thought maybe they were difficult to steer, like shopping trollies, but now I have a pram, and realise it's not that hard to avoid people, I realise that they're just self-important child-spawning fatfucks.
....have children, and then complain all the time about the fact they have no social life/are tired. YOU CHOSE TO HAVE/KEEP A CHILD - SO SHUTTHEFUCKUP.
....Goalhangers, I fucking HATE goalhangers.
....wear their collars 'popped'.
....wear trousers too short, on purpose, with a little bit of ankle showing, and then a nice pair of brogues, without socks, or with trainer socks. You look like a simpleton and make a mockery of a nice pair of brogues.
....put milk in the mug before the teabag. GTFO
....Waitresses/waiters who ask "are you enjoying your meal" when you've barely got a fork into your mouth? (Restaurants that think this is good customer service, and tell their waiters/waitresses to do this is more the issue)
....Pubs trying to chare £6 for a pint of Brooklyn Lager, it's not rare, it's not amazing, but I'd like a pint as it's not a bad drop, and you're just taking the fucking piss right out of my penis, you price-inflating wankers.
....An old'n but a real pet peeve. Just a general 'wankers that don't know how to act on public transport' category, this is including but not exclusive to:
Not letting people off the bus/train/tube first
Not stepping off the tube/bus to let people off if it's rammed (The driver has never driven off and left you stranded before has it? SO DO IT.)
Having appalling body odour, and casually holding onto a ceiling / handle thing, wafting your rank armpit all over the ruddy shop. GTFO.
Putting your bag/coat on a seat and not moving it the moment it becomes clear someone needs a seat. (also see, people who sit in the ailse seat, thus blocking the other)
Wankers talking VERY loudly on phones.
Wankers listening to music VERY loudly.
Wankers eating burger king meals.
Just general wankery really.
I realise there is some thread repatition, but I feel the need to have an outpour*
*Oversharers: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS/LIFE/OPINION.
solid stuff.
"wear their collars 'popped'."
amen to that. most likely a Hackett polo shirt too
You've thought a lot about this haven't you
DON'T!
He'll bite you
every waking minute
don't think that's an appropriate thing to drop in polite conversation, pal
Oh well
Also can I add people who say they're going to "SMASH IT".
Unless they are actually going to smash something with a big mallet. Any other use is unacceptable.
i'm with you up til the tea one
it doesn't matter
i'm a milk first
tea-wanker.i bloody love how much it winds up tea dickheads. tea dickheads are almost as bad as beer dickheads.but not as bad as a guy i spoke to on the phone once at work who said "i dare say a few drops of ale may pass these lips tonight". i had to put the phone down on him or i would have said something astonishingly offensive.
i honestly don't know what's wrong with someone saying that
he sounds amazing
they say stuff like NO IT CURDLES THE MILK
no it doesn't.
Do what you like with your own tea, I couldn't give a cup of tea about it.
But when you make me a cuppa, no messing about you milky slag.
The milk first technique does stop the full flavour of the tea escaping from the teabag, it does. If you put milk in first it's always a disapointing weak cup of tea, and if there's one thing I don't like, it's a weak cup of fackin' tea.
alright danny dyer
*cowers under desk, shielding face*
I'm sure danny will agree with me.
He has 11 sugars in his tea.
He
Has kasabian in his tea
matthew slaughter:
do you accept that tea brews best in water that's as close to 100c as possible?
as long as there are no further questions then
*shuffles nervously, narrows eyes*
yes.
you should've ran a high frequency down the phone line
and caused damage to that guy's hearing.
Lisicki would eat me for breakfast
and I'd let her
People who go on about how certain musicians should be Prime Minister
Really? You think that dull populists like Jarvis Cocker should actually be Prime Minister just cos he went on Question Time five years ago and said "yeah, like, drugs should be legal an that". You really think Thom Yorke should be president of the world just cos he's reached the shocking conclusion that war is shit and climate change is fucking terrifying?
Guilty of 1 to an extent, though thats normally after 2 days or so without.
Couldn't give a shit about cake.
Theres nothing better than takeaway pizza in the cinema, it is you who is the cunt for not embracing this wonderous tradition.
My parents are a little on the chubby side, so what, they're my parents.
Horribly guilty of 5, though only in the mornings or if ive been dragged out to a shitty club after a full days work just to wingman a friend.
Oh - people who won't eat vegetables.
Grow up you fucking toddlers.
People who
f***ing censor their words on the internet. The c*nts
and worse... people who censor non-curse words because they're 'bad'.
If you're a grown up and mummy and daddy let you swear, fucking swear and stop being a bellend.