"Apparently my dog, which is a corgi, was related to the Queen's dog so I didn't think I needed a TV licence"
"Why would I need a TV licence for a TV I stole? Nobody knows I've got it"
"Only my three-year-old son watches the TV. Can you take it out of the family allowance I receive for him? He watches it so he should pay"
"I had not paid as I received a lethal injection"
"I don't want to pay for a licence for a full year. Knowing my luck I'll be dead in six months and won't get value for money"
"I have lost weight recently and had to buy new clothes. That's why I could not afford to buy a TV licence"