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That you have a full piss when you sit down and you need another by the time you get up?
you have to wait a minute after standing to be able to walk again.
even though it's plugged into the mains.
You've been there so long you didn't pay the electricity bill and they cut you off.
you are fucking disgusting.
Dis breda be spittin lik a bumbaclaart
your system has enough time to process and dispose of lunch too.
Who would take at least 45 mins in the bog. I never knew what he was doing in there, he was a hygiene obsessive so I imagine he was meticulously cleaning his ringpiece.
Wasn't even my pube.
I always used to wonder how they got onto bogseats then one day I was potty dribbling and one popped out and floated down onto the seat, and then I knew
Is this your woodstock???
It was a black pube.
Therefore Iamwiggy has been eliminated from my enquiries.
Its down to having a terrible diet
I thought a bad diet would mean you'd just have assplosions? Is it the opposite to that?
Or get straight into the bath
that the pub you were in closed and locked you in
And you've just taken a dump on their fruit counter
when your in a hurry in the morning and the shit decides it doesnt want to come out, its like its saying "yeah im here and im coming but not right now thanks, ill let you know"
for you, not the other passengers
when you wipe the first time and there's no shit on the paper?
I love those
but they're a source of great disappointment for me. Its like going drinking but not having a kebab at the end of it.
Sure, it's disgusting, greasy and messy but it just isn't the same without it
"Had a non-wiper today".
It was the reason I was sacked from Starbucks
I googled that just before posting and according to urban dictionary a phantom shit is one that disappears from the bowl straight away :/