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whats the best and most comical things you have done to achieve this?
one on every forum
to "Your mum".
it's always been really sad and destructive stuff
That was you
just going through everything I own and removing all traces (i.e. photos, letters etc etc)...
My last relationship breakdown pre-dates Facebook (thinly-veiled 'i've been in a relationship for ages' etc etc) - I can imagine it's a bit more difficult if you and your ex are on there.
Wise words from my mother after I got dumped for the first (of many, many) time.
but I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her!
sorely under-rated ;D
then go and hang out with my brother who provides enough ket to down an elephant
however when the firemen came round they were hot so arranged a date with one of them... no wait, that was an episode of Friends. My bad.
Lot's of Special Brew. And darts. And red wine.
Or just surround yourself with some good friends and have a bit of 'you' time.
^ The above is not an extract from Woman's Weekly.
I have been surrounding myself with friends and fun times though, but they wont let me spoon them :(
going to let him get away with that "no a sex" comment?
It's sad that when you break up with someone you're deemed to have failed at love and therefore life as well. I think the most daunting thing about breaking up with someone, aside from that feeling of "aarrgh I'm never going to have sex agaaaaain" is the ability to rearrange your life from, e.g. 'what should I get us for dinner' to 'what should I get ME for dinner' and rediscovering that ability to be selfish, self serving and self motivated. That's the complacency that a codependant relationship builds that you're possibly only making half the decisions and plans or it's all going through committee, think it's tricky to rewire your brain to get out of that. Kung Fu probably is the best thing to do that Lo Pan!
The last thing I felt like was sex when I split from my ex.
a little bit frightening
that was a laugh
It was terrible but perhaps, needed.
...my fiancee decided she didn't want to get married and moved out. Been the fucking worst time of my life by a fucking mile.
In a bid to combat my utter despair i have been doing the following:
Doing up my flat in a bid to sell to get the fuck out of there.
Drinking far more than i should although i have reigned this in.
Taken up a new hobby - Kung Fu.
Planning lots of trips to see friends in london and abroad.
As yet none of this is making me feel too much better, although it does help!
and are called lo pan means you are a winner! I'd happily be your exploding sidekick any day
You had PO's mate LITERALLY eating out of your HAND (you complete bastard). You should just sleep with the entirety of glasgow to get it out your system :D
Maybe i should, although not sure how happy fitzcarraldo would be with that! ;)
But only once you are ready to move on, and when stuff still feels too raw, it is hard. But you will get there :)
I think I need to lie down now.
Keep yourself busy. Make sure you set aside some time to do things you enjoy. This could be anything, but make sure you spend some time doing a hobby. If you have free time, try spending it with friends you didn't see as much of since having been in that relationship. Make the most of being single. Go out, immerse yourself with friends. Go to town.
Basically, do all the things you couldn't do because you were tied down in a relationship. Make the most of it. Good luck pal.
is full of beautiful intelligent classy young women ;)
and think of all the new opportunities out there instead (not just for other relationships, but as someone else said, to do some different stuff and see life from a different angle). I think that's because nearly all of my breakups have been good things, in the sense I've felt we couldn't really carry on the way we were and it was better to be apart. I am probably wrong and bottling up all manner of shit though.
The gym. Lifting weights. Felt great. Became obsessed. Keeps you motivated, gives you a project, it's pretty zen and calming at times.
sis that for three years. Was all shades of ace.
YOUR BEST LIFE NOW
Gotta remember how money you are.
You really do have to remember you're not a worthless piece of crap rejected by the person you were in love with.
There is life after. A better life my friends. *plays uplifting music*
Seriously though. You're money.
I think for a good while i really beat myself up and questioned myself on a lot of things and doubted what i had to offer.
But then i got past that and realised she didn't break up with my cos i'm a useless twat (i hope), shit happens and people move on and they change their minds for one reason or another.
Took me a bit of time right enough but i am past thinking that i'm a useless piece of crap, think i'm alright actually! :)
...and have been working on a totally new unconnected to her bunch of records. This has been great!
In the past I have initially done a bit of wallowing, then called my mate Joe who is an animal and asked him to get me pissed.
Also be clear that it is normal to go through several stages: Denial, Anger, Withdrawal, Acceptance. There are no rules about how long you spend doing these things but understand that they are the process we go through to come out of the other side.
And you will. It may take a while, but you will
And really easy to dwell on the 'good times' when there was probably more 'bad times'
^ True dat
Because the thought of not caring was almost scarier to me than the pain of going through it.
At least by being upset and miserable i had something to cling on to.
Dunno if that makes sense to anyone.
Once you're over it, it's really done and that's it.
didn't really work, tbh.
And no, that didn't work very well.
Still love them all in some way...I'm so fucked up
I think you do take something away from all relationships and still care a little. I think it would be fucked up if you didn't feel this way
I guess it would be ok if I was happy with my life though
although I think some of us would find the bits of our life that we don't like would be better if we were with somebody who was good for us. Or maybe even the bits of ourselves that we don't like instead/ too. But that is getting waaay deep. And if we are foing to go there then I need a drink. x
but I think that's natural. I used to think my first proper bf (much older than me, very charismatic and glamorous, who pretty much introduced me to life as I know it) was The One Who Got Away, but I saw him as I waited for my case at the arrivals hall in glasgow airport the week before christmas 2012 and our eyes met, and I knew that I had wasted years keeping a little bit of myself back for him. I blew him a kiss and fucking STRODE out of that baggage hall. It really taught me a lesson (probably not, but I am telling myself it has.)
Often happens when things end with a certain amount of unfinished business, leaves us thinking 'what if?'. Truth is usually that things ended for a good reason and it is better to look forward rather than back.
It's knowing whether you've done enough which, to me anyway, causes me angst.
Is certainly me not them I have a problem with, always feel like a failure, hard to shake that...you can always be nicer and more understanding to people.
imagining that person with someone else. I moved out of my ex's in November, gradually kept going back for rest of my stuff last few weeks of the year, ended up having sex a few times, which I regret as it made me feel worse.
Anyway, the obvious things to do are delete their mobile number, delete anything on Facebook (i'm not on fb anymore as it goes) relating to them, don't speak to their friends, a clean break is essential. Its a slow process but it gets better.
I dont post much
When you have mutual friends and stuff, and when one or both of you still misses the other. You are right though, you should strive for cold turkey :)
(also, not a shite post at all. for you to write it down was probably hard but I bet you wouldn't have been able to articulate it in November, and look, you can now.)
When feeling sorry for yourself and beating yourself up it can be quite easy to think about things like that. This is why i try and spend as much time with other folk so i don't get bogged down in the horror of my imagination.
You've also got to remember that the other person will be thinking the same as well, i think i quite often believe that i am suffering far more than the ex but she will be having a shit time as well.
Its fucking tough as fuck! :(
The horrible gut-wrenching feeling when you imagine them fucking someone else. Argh.
It's the thought of them doing couply stuff and getting close to each other and falling in love that would boil my brain if I let it.
The thought of them getting close to someone else makes me feel so sick. Doesn't bear thinking about it, at all! :(
In fact, let's all step away from this thread now and have a nice bacon roll.
And a double espresso!
Picture the scene: in the pub, its maybe 2 years later and I deliberately have not given a single fuck about who they're with or whatever, we are chatting cordially about where our lives are. We discuss where we are living, she says "Well I don't have much choice as Dave is a musician and he has to blah blah blah blah..."
*excuses self, goes to bathroom, hyperventilates and clutches heart like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber outside Mary Swanson's house*
and it was cool, I knew she had a boyfriend and we were happily talking then she said they were living together and it actually felt like someone had taken a hammer to my face. I couldnt talk for about a minute and she made her excuses and left.
You're thinking: man I hope I'm not expected to say anything for about a minute because all my energy is being spent sitting here trying to breathe and if I try to speak it might come out in that really squeaky way people do when they are choking.
and he has to live in a soundproofed flat so that he can rehearse at home. To be honest, though, the soundproofing is a godsend given how much he makes me scream with ecstasy when we're in bed together.
And we've got a super kingsize bed, too, which helps when his bandmates come round to gangbang me.
It would seem at the moment.
because when you do realise you're over them a few months down the line, but the summer is over and you're having to resit a year or whatever, you'll be ever so cross. I know it's easier said than done, but promise yourself that you'll defer the wallowing for just a few weeks. ONce exams are out the way you can do what the hell you want. <mum> You should get some sleep </mum> x
Utterly ballsed up my A Levels after being put through the wringer by some girl, even this many years on it's still a slight stain on the CV. Having to explain to a potential employer that I was having a relationship triggered psychotic episode that meant I only scraped through is a suckfest...!
In fact, the best way to get back at the heartless cow is to go and get top marks. The best revenge is living well, as Seinfeld said.
As I changed from core maths to further maths so I could be in the same class as this girl, and then we broke up for no real reason it would seem. And I don't want to revise further maths, as it just makes me think "I was only really doing this because of you", even though I probably would have done it anyway as maths is the one thing I am really good at. And I don't want to revise anything else for some reason.
and still no dick pics!
and generally putting a lot of focus on my hobbies/picking up stuff that I've been putting off for awhile.
to a dumping........sooo probs not
go traveling again. job's a goodun
just had to pay 6 months rent up front :P