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Top 3, Bottom 3: Actors

oceanRain [Edit] [Delete] 65 replies 08:59, 19 May '13

1. Robert DeNiro - The guy insisted on real handcuffs in Midnight Run. May not have known it was a comedy. He's so damn good that he looks exactly like Marlon Brando in the Godfather.

2. Christopher Walken - Because it would be cosmic-fantastic to know somebody that actually broke up sentences in such bizarro cadences.

3. Michael Caine - Alfie played a cooler spy than James Bond. Thank goodness he became an actor instead of a salesman. If the guy was selling shares in the Brooklyn Bridge, I'd say, "Who do I make the check out to?"

3. (tie) Leonardo DeCaprio - Took me five or six years to get past the ridiculous name, but then he did Blood Diamond and suddenly I realized that he's pretty great, even in his shitty movies. Like Titanic. Tomorrow night I'm going to see Gatsby: I have a feeling I'm going to have to blame that fiasco on Jay-Z's soundtrack and remind you-all about his performance as Howard Hughes.

And:

1. Shia LeBouf - "Daddy-o"? Fuck you. Single-handedly killed the Indiana Jones franchise. Can't speak to Transformers because I've never made it past the three-minute mark.

2. David Caruso - Weird cadence, too, but not in a good way. More the guy-with-a-gun-gone-postal kinda way. CSI: Miami is so bad that I can't even watch an episode of NCIS without thinking this is somehow David Caruso's fault.

3. Hayden Christensen - What's worse than destroying Indiana Jones? Exactly so. I kept thinking: please god, somebody turn that fucker into Darth Vader, like, right now!

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  • OK then

    Top 3:

    Philip Baker Hall
    Steve Buscemi
    Philip Seymour Hoffmann

    Bottom 3:

    Paul Giamatti
    Nicolas Cage (of course)
    Sean Penn

    blisters | 19 May '13, 10:33 | X
    • all your bottom three are really good

      anal_schwarzenegger @blisters | 19 May '13, 12:53 | X
      politelydeclined, brainfeedr, badmanreturns, JaguarPirate, fuck_this_band, alcxxk, and moker this'd this
  • Nice, would probably have Caruso and Christensen in my bottomo 3 so I'll try and find 2 more.

    Top 3:
    Ryan Gosling
    Joseph Gordon-Levitt
    Michelle Williams (are we including actresses?)

    Honourable mention for Michael Shannon

    Bottom 3:
    Terrence Howard
    Tilda Swinton
    Jared Leto

    Smyth2 | 19 May '13, 12:39 | X
    • No such thing as actresses any more,

      Everyone is an actor

      PinkyBrain @Smyth2 | 19 May '13, 15:53 | X
    • Leto is so awful

      ruined whole sections of My So Called Life, and Requiem For A Dream is barely watchable

      JaguarPirate @Smyth2 | 20 May '13, 01:11 | X
      • He wasn't bad at having his face smashed in, in Fight Club

        sean @JaguarPirate | 20 May '13, 21:43 | X
    • Wasn't Tilda Swinton really good in Michael Clayton?

      Which reminds me: George Clooney deserves a top3 honorable mention, eh? Syriana was an amazing film.

      oceanRain @Smyth2 | 20 May '13, 03:20 | X
      badmanreturns this'd this
      • Tilda Swinton is awesome in everything

        She's annoying as fuck in real life but really good at acting

        blisters @oceanRain | 21 May '13, 01:43 | X
  • Top:

    John Cusack
    Hugh Jackman
    Ian Mckellen

    Bottom:
    Rob Schneider
    Al Pacino
    Arnie

    pichaelmarker | 19 May '13, 12:58 | X
    • is Hugh Jackman even an actor?

      And Pacino?!

      malick @pichaelmarker | 19 May '13, 20:02 | X
      • I'd just watched Les Mis.. which probably explains the decision.

        Swap him out for JGL or something.

        pichaelmarker @malick | 20 May '13, 23:55 | X
    • Arnie is the greatest actor/person of all time you ignoramous

      andyvine @pichaelmarker | 20 May '13, 11:59 | X
      • That took longer than I expected.

        pichaelmarker @andyvine | 20 May '13, 23:54 | X
    • rob schneider, hell yeah

      inside-outside @pichaelmarker | 21 May '13, 13:33 | X
  • Top 3:
    Kevin Spacey
    Daniel Day-Lewis
    Ben Kingsley

    Bottom 3:
    Shia LeBouf
    Ewan McGregor
    Adam Sandler

    Sibley | 19 May '13, 13:57 | X
    • adam sandler is a good shout

      japes @Sibley | 19 May '13, 14:05 | X
  • Bottom:

    3. denzel washington - like watching a tree
    2. russel crowe - good in gladiator, unbelievably shit in everything else
    1. shat leboof - already been said, but it's difficult to hate anyone else as much

    Top:

    3. fassbender - is quite good
    2. steve mcqueen - cool as fuck
    1. john cusack - don't understand why I like him so much but I do

    japes | 19 May '13, 14:03 | X
    • literally everyone loves John Cusack

      it's impossible not to

      anal_schwarzenegger @japes | 19 May '13, 15:53 | X
      japes, brainfeedr, badmanreturns, and JaguarPirate this'd this
      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j379JbL-xM&sns=em

        lemonbrickcombo @anal_schwarzenegger | 20 May '13, 11:49 | X
        japes this'd this
  • Good thread

    Top:
    1. Michael Shannon - ace in everything I've seen him in, especially My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done. Fantastically creepy face.

    2. Daniel Day-Lewis - for obvious reasons (esp. 'I drink your milkshake'!)

    3. Danny DeVito - It's Always Sunny cemented him as the funniest man alive in my eyes.

    honourable mention for Gosling for being really handsome and being great in Lars and the Real Girl, but he's a bit shit in quite a lot of stuff too (Gangster Squad for example).

    Bottom:
    1. Gerard Butler - just what the fuck is with him? Does he read the scripts he's sent?

    2. Shia LeBouf - just a gigantic floppy cock of a man. To fall from the heights of Even Stevens to whatever the fuck he's in now makes it even worse.

    3. Sylvester Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Van Damme/etc. - being muscly is NOT ENOUGH. Action movies can't just consist of muscly people shooting at stuff. (Notable exceptions include Bruce Willis (great) & Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock (super nice and surprisingly funny)).

    brainfeedr | 19 May '13, 15:34 | X
    • I thought about Shannon

      he's been amazing in everything I've seen, just not seen that many of his films

      japes @brainfeedr | 19 May '13, 15:39 | X
      • Have you watched his work with Jeff Nichols?

        Shotgun Diaries is excellent.

        Stu_ @japes | 20 May '13, 22:31 | X
        • no

          will have to check it out

          japes @Stu_ | 21 May '13, 12:14 | X
  • cant think of the rest but the very worst is the guy from smallville

    ThingsThatFly | 19 May '13, 17:36 | X
  • no mention for seagal in any bottom 3?!

    TheKennedyCurse | 19 May '13, 21:13 | X
    • He's definitely included in Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Van Damme

      and is in my bottom three.

      brainfeedr @TheKennedyCurse | 20 May '13, 10:02 | X
  • As follows

    Top:

    1) Daniel Day-Lewis
    2) James Stewart
    3) Paul Newman

    Worst:

    1) Shia LeBouf
    2) Gerard Butler
    3) Kristen Stewart

    Honorable mentions for best:

    Robert Redford, Tommy Lee Jones, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Henry Fonda, Matt Damon, Ralph Fiennes, James Dean, Bill Murray.

    didyousayhand | 19 May '13, 21:39 | X
    • I swear I am the only person here who actually likes Kristen Stewart

      When she's cast correctly she's brilliant. And ignore twilight.

      lemonbrickcombo @didyousayhand | 20 May '13, 11:53 | X
      japes and dorftrottel this'd this
      • She was absolutely fucking perfect in On The Road

        If you want an example

        lemonbrickcombo @lemonbrickcombo | 20 May '13, 12:22 | X
      • She's decent in Adventureland.

        shucks @lemonbrickcombo | 20 May '13, 23:31 | X
        pichaelmarker this'd this
        • Only until you notice the whole lip-lick-then-bite thing.

          marckee @shucks | 20 May '13, 23:46 | X
  • Actually, I was going to do an identical thread for actresses

    But as this one's all-inclusive, I guess I'd have to swap in Meryl Streep somewhere. I mean, she really is all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips good.

    Didn't think of Daniel Day-Lewis...or Paul Newman and Steve McQueen, for that matter.

    I'm tempted to add Megan Fox to my bottom list, but if you think about it, she's really pretty good. Director: "Stand here and look hot." Nailed it!

    Kristen Stewart is a good shout. Director: "You've just won the lottery and you're ecstatic." KS: "Wouldn't I be sulking in the corner looking bored?"

    oceanRain | 20 May '13, 02:33 | X
  • best

    #1 Johnny Depp
    #2 Lon Chaney
    #3 Marlon Brando

    there's so many bad ones i wouldn't know where to start.

    sunstroke_house | 20 May '13, 03:43 | X
  • Best

    John Barnes
    Eric Cantona
    Usain Bolt

    Worst
    Rory McIlroy
    Jensen Button
    Gary Lineker

    licky_kicky | 20 May '13, 11:13 | X
  • Ctrl F

    "Hurley"

    WTF?!

    ehwhat | 20 May '13, 11:18 | X
  • Ctrl F

    "Aiden Gillen"

    WTF?!

    sadpunk | 20 May '13, 11:38 | X
    lemonbrickcombo this'd this
    • shit, I knew there was someone I was forgetting

      stick him in my bottom 3, phenomenally shit actor

      Smyth2 @sadpunk | 20 May '13, 11:43 | X
    • liked him as carcetti

      japes @sadpunk | 20 May '13, 11:48 | X
      GrandMoffTarkin this'd this
    • Oh jesus, this is a great shout.

      In the fucking smorgasbord of terrible/just plain weird accents that is Game of Thrones, his is the least tolerable.

      brainfeedr @sadpunk | 20 May '13, 21:54 | X
  • Top

    1. Daniel Day Lewis - "I'VE ABANDONED MY CHILD!!!"
    2. Larry David - my hero
    3. Harrison Ford - has made some guff but you can't argue against Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Rick Deckard

    Bottom

    1. Toby McGuire - Saw Gatsby on Friday. Fucking Hell.
    2. Jake Lloyd - everyone blames Christensen for ruining Star Wars
    3. Ewan McGregor - it's worse up here, everyone loves him because he's Scottish. With the exception of Trainspotting I haven't liked him in anything. Scotland's Shame.

    hanshotfirst | 20 May '13, 12:21 | X
    • Ewan McGregor is indeed absolutely shite

      blisters @hanshotfirst | 21 May '13, 01:45 | X
    • He's pretty good in Shallow Grave too.

      brainfeedr @hanshotfirst | 21 May '13, 01:59 | X
  • bottom 10 (in no particular order)

    tobey maguire
    mark hamill
    matthew broderick
    ryan gosling
    keira knightly
    orlando bloom
    any actor who can't do a decent accent
    that scottish guy in sliding doors and the mummy
    orlando bloom
    orlando bloom

    meths | 20 May '13, 12:40 | X
    Royter-Hatfood this'd this
    • I hate mathew broderick with a passion

      japes @meths | 20 May '13, 12:43 | X
    • John fucking Hannah

      Great shout

      AcceptanceIII @meths | 20 May '13, 23:45 | X
    • you left out orlando bloom

      orlando bloom

      funkycow @meths | 21 May '13, 13:03 | X
  • Top 3 well good

    1. The fat guy who says "HEY ABBOT!" in Robin Hood: Men in Tights
    2. Jake the cat from The Cat From Outer Space
    3. Radar from M*A*S*H

    Top 3 well shit
    1. The one with that face who just stares and you think oh the dvd is broke, oh wait he moved it's all ok again
    2. Scenery chewing tosspiece
    3. Tits McGee

    shucks | 20 May '13, 14:42 | X
    • HEY ABBOT

      ha ha ha, he was great

      andyvine @shucks | 20 May '13, 16:30 | X
  • Hahaha! So many funny answers on this thread.

    MadameChaos | 20 May '13, 15:02 | X
    fluffybum this'd this
  • oh is this the monthly lets argue about how atrocious/incredible Nicholas Cage is?

    He's atrocious by the way

    Smee | 20 May '13, 16:35 | X
    labmonkeya529 and twentynine this'd this
    • Nah he's amazing

      moker @Smee | 20 May '13, 16:45 | X
      shucks and funkycow this'd this
    • Con Air.

      Great Nick Cage.

      He is in some shit films though.

      Wooly31 @Smee | 20 May '13, 21:52 | X
    • Raising Arizona

      Con Air
      Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
      Adaptation
      Kick-Ass

      He can be really good when he wants to/the film deserves it, he just telephones performances in the majority of the time, presumably to earn filthy lucre.

      brainfeedr @Smee | 20 May '13, 21:57 | X
    • I really must finish my spreadsheet correlating

      His wig/hair length and the rotten tomatoes rating of each of his films

      twentynine @Smee | 21 May '13, 00:26 | X
  • i hate gerard butler

    shrewbie | 20 May '13, 21:53 | X
    brainfeedr and 84joe this'd this
  • Top 3 Bottom actors:

    1. Ade Edmondson
    2. Rik Mayall
    3. Steven O'Donnell

    marckee | 20 May '13, 23:25 | X
    shucks, Smee, and about_today this'd this
    • came here to post this

      about_today @marckee | 20 May '13, 23:53 | X
      • https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=bottom+actors

        about_today @about_today | 20 May '13, 23:54 | X
  • Top Three:

    Heath Ledger
    Joseph Gordon-Levitt
    Aaron Johnson

    And I'd bottom for:

    Logan Lerman
    Hayden Christensen
    Michael Fassbender

    twentynine | 21 May '13, 00:01 | X
    • You really like Batman, eh?

      brainfeedr @twentynine | 21 May '13, 02:00 | X
  • Jonathan Rhys-Meyers

    Can occupy all three of my bottom three actors. And to think he's been linked with the new star wars. Shite.

    funkycow | 21 May '13, 00:21 | X
  • Old skool Hollywood

    Top 3:
    Bette Davis
    Edward G Robinson
    Jimmy Cagney

    Bottom 3:
    Mickey Rooney
    Audrey Hepburn
    Jimmy Stewart

    blisters | 21 May '13, 01:50 | X
  • Surprised no mentions for

    Paddy Considine and Peter Mullan.

    NoahVale | 21 May '13, 12:11 | X
  • top three: 3 men

    bottom three: 2 men, 1 woman

    DarwinDude | 21 May '13, 13:09 | X
    • That's quite a sandwich you got there.

      marckee @DarwinDude | 21 May '13, 13:29 | X
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