0 sugars - try-hard scrote-sack indie attention-seeker
1 sugar - perfectly fine
1.5 sugars - optimum sugars, but of course if someone else is making you don't confuse shit by getting halves involved
2 sugars - hangovers and sugar crashes
any more than 2 sugars - obvious mental illness
* if using sugarcubes, two rather than one, they're smaller innit.
** half-sugars frowned upon in all other denominations
glad we all agree.