Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
"issues" at number 6? Is this the worst you can think of?
Agreed re: "end of play" though.
lIf you could just cascade this to your team, that would be great ...
I don't like leverage, especially when it is pronounced to rhyme with ''beverage''. The majority of the rest of them are pretty uninspiring. No ''blue-sky thinking'' or ''out of left-field'': weak
I'm not a feckin meerkat
I've heard much more.
Like my mate's box said "we need to put this idea outside and let the cat sniff at it" meaning ask other people.
Or "kick this project into the long grass" or put it on hold. (I've heard that too).
I hate the word "liaise" when they mean chat. "I'll liaise with you tomorrow about that".
I LIAISE YOUR MUM MATE.
to the extent that I've been in training and the trainer has has a flipchart with a drawing of a car park on it.
It's management / trainer speak for "I have limited knowledge"
As in to park an idea?!
*SPEECHMARKS* I would suggest that the report is silent regarding performance matrixes *SPEECHMARKS*
She meant: Don't put the scores in the report.
I'd just like you to stir-fry a few ideas in my think-wok.
THEN SEE IF ANYONE PRAGMATICALLY TRIES TO TOUCH BASE AT CLOSE OF PLAY
Everyone says we need to find the 'root cause'. No we don't, we need to find the cause. The only time we need that phrase is if that cause has its own cause but if we keep on that path you may as well just say, 'human error', because ultimately that's always going to be your 'root cause' in the technology industry. Twats.
WE ALL KNOW WHAT SIDE YOU'LL TAKE WHEN SKYNET RISES UP THEO
is to establish that you have proper understanding of how the defect or manifestation of a problem arose, it being neccsesary to not just just fix code according to the immediate cause of the problem in case there a deeper underlying problem which may mean that the immediate cause does not need to 'fixed' (as this may give rise to regression defects on already existing correct code)
Also if you just treat the immediate cause the underlying bigger problem might cause further manifestations of defects in other areas.
tut tut theo.
and i work in the definition of marketing schmaltz
It was twinned with a powerpoint slide showing a box with an open lid. On the inside of the open lid was an arrow pointing down into the box with the phrase "no ideas in here" written on it.
I refused to speak to him for two days after that.
He's missed out some classics.
Someone at my work used "third-party" as a verb the other day.
"We'll third-party that."
I think she meant off-shore, which means outsource, which means sub-contract, which means get an Indian lad to do it.
Quicker than saying what it actually means. Sod off, Guardian.
four or five of these words are just quick shortcuts and have been used outside of marketing for yeeeears.
He got a business analyst to explain what 'stakeholder' means. Chump
As in "we need to anniversary this!". Heard it used a lot but I have no idea what this means :(
instead of "contact". "I'm reaching out to you to see if we can..." Fuck off hippy.
While they were asking me to diarise it as priority for increasingly baffling reasons I did it and told them there was no need for me to diarise it anymore
'we need you to author a report'
You mean WRITE a report.
See also: we need you to action this.
Just say, we need you to do this.
but I agree with the many people that say there's nothing wrong with "stakeholders". It means what it means - anyone with an interest.
Absolutely fuck off with that.
on a day-to-day basis.
that'll be table and chairs then.
....when o look at some of the people that are in the ones that i am meant to attend it makes me shudder
'group huddle shudder'
when the word they need is method
I'm just circling back with this ie. you forgot about this because you are terrible at your job so I'm reminding you about it again in a patronising manner.