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I had a wispa and a flat white for breakfast. It was great.
Tell me about your Sunday.
hungover. Managed to get up and get some toast though.
Some girl on facebook just posted this website her bf made
so that's my afternoon's internet browsing sorted
so doing prep for that. gotta do a 5 minute presentation. gaaaah.
i should probably get dressed however and stuff, huh?
Had a croque monsieur for lunch which was truly delicious (and a nice coffee) from this cafe
Might be seeing a old friend of mine for a couple of drinks tonight which should be good
Sundays are alright
Got on the wrong carriage so can't get to our reserved seats as this train is 2 trains glued together. 1hr till next station where we can get off and on again.
Good day so far. Woke up without a hangover which was a nice surprise.
but I'm in at 10 tomorrow and I have a cold coming on and would love to just lie on my bed all day instead.
It annoyed me how shit Sarah Michelle Gellar was at fighting. One of those so shit its good films.
which seeing as i work in an Irish bar is pretty good going!
Having a little rest. and some moussaka at home then heading back in for some Guinness.
Got a massive bunch of coriander, a bunch of spring onions and 5 scotch bonnet chillies for £1. Got a load of yer ground spices in packets as well to make a spice rub for my chicken tagine tomorrow.
The butchers and fishmongers round there are great, you can get anything. You can buy cow feet and they had a couple of goat's heads going as well. £2.49 for a goat's head, dunno if that's value or not.
Going to stream some football now I think, which game shall I go for?
had a long drive home and have since been driving a lot, and grinning a lot. must be time for some guinness now.
i went to the su for some drinks and my friend's mate who i dont even know was trying to get my to dance and he yanked my arm proper hard like a complete lenny
They reacted like I was some sort of wizard.
I'm going to miss that dork. Watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air and thinking about what to have for my tea. Going to start 're watching GoT in a minute. X
drank lots of tea updated my blog.
Like maybe I've reached the end of the line, my youth is over and my small circle of friends is ever dwindling.
I don't know what to do :(
if I can do it, so can you.
make yourself hang out with them more.
I'm pretty fucking depressed myself. and my shit job is making me so stressed that my hair is falling out. and I'm nowhere near making my music happen. idk.
it's alright, Bamnan. things could be so much worse. stop worrying about being young, just galvanise yourself as a person.
I feel like shit and feel old (it's my fucking 25th today) but I'm trying to incrementally move towards stuff happening.
You never seem to fraught on here though; you must be a stronger person than me.
I don't know if I even want any friends hmmmmmm just gonna keep to myself until I go crazy and don't mind anymore
think maybe I'm just good at pretending. I expend a lot of energy on trying to just function. it's ruining me.
you do want friends. I sometimes think about friends and I think that I don't even want to be there among others and I forget how nice it feels to be happy with others and trust them and trust that they really value your presence in their lives.
I realise that all that makes me resent others is my own self-loathing. that being alone makes me crazy.
you need to make yourself hang out with others because it's like practise... you become more comfortable with yourself amongst others, being with them becomes more fulfilling.
you collapse in on yourself. it happened to me after university.
Im noticing myself getting anxious about the most inconsequential things
it's like a feedback loop, the way it gets worse as you shrink away from the outside world and lose your grip on the person you are among others.
don't let it happen, dude. make yourself hang out with others as much as possible. make yourself leave the house every day.
do you do any sport or anything? if I didn't do regular football, I'd have found it harder to get a grip. maybe take up long-distance running or cycling.
Ill probably be ok again at some point...loving my vague anaemic optimism. Thanks for the concern though, hope things improve for you too :)
Change of scene sounds like it might do you some good mate.
I know it's not always as easy as a glib bit of advice like that, but just thinking about some alternatives can be enough to perk you up a bit sometimes. Sometimes when I feel a "bit down" (not full on depression like you and I have both been through I guess) I like to daydream a bit about what I could be doing in 6 months or a year and how I might do it.
I might get back into meditating again, thanks for the advice :)
I didn't really want my boyfriend to touch me earlier when he was making it pretty clear what he wanted (sex). Then we were supposed to go out but I didn't/don't want to.
But I haven't had a proper nights sleep since we moved in to our new flat over a fortnight ago. We've been waiting to hear back from our landlady about her buying us a new mattress and I thought I could cope, but I had a horrible, horrible nightmare last night and when I woke up from it I couldn't move and I thought something from the dream was in the room with me and it was one of the most scary things I've ever felt. I've been a bit emotionally on edge all day because of it and I'm 100% sure it's because I haven't slept properly in so long.
Tl;dr and stuff, sorry.
I feel bad for saying ill go out then not wanting to.
Leaves you in a kind-of half awake state, and people often report the feeling that someone's in the room with them. Which sounds horrible, but it's comforting to know that it's just the brain doing a little short-circuit. I used to think someone was opening my bedroom door but just not saying anything. It is absolutely from not getting a good night's sleep!
Like when people who are a bit sad say they're depressed.
What can I do to stop it from happening again? Apart from getting a good nights sleep, because that isn't going to happen any time soon.
The last time I was having a really vivid dream and woke up. I looked to my left and there was a young boy, dressed as a Roman soldier, covered in blood and holding a sword. I tried to scream, but I couldn't, although I did have a bowel movement. He turned to me and asked:
"Why did you kill my mummy?"
I was absolutely terrified, but couldn't move. Then it kind of dissipated and I went back to reality. Very, very fucking strange.
There's been plenty of threads about it before, I'm fully aware of that.
Hungover. One of my pet hates is people taking photos of our gigs. I always hate the photos. Argh. We played to a crowded room last night but a pint of lager was £5.50! Disgusting.
started off well, ended awfully, one of the worst
thanks, yeah not really, realised that I have sleepwalked into the worst decision I have ever made
Here if you want to talk. I'm just wasting my life eating cornflakes and watching shit TV.
thanks, that's nice of you, too long a story though
Sunday, BLOODY Sunday...
But more of a really light brown really
Sunday nights just get me down. Gonna make a shitload of sandwiches and watch Match of the Day soon, should perk me up a bit. 5 DAYS TIL THA WEEEEEEKEND.
I saw Side Effects (good) and Welcome to the Punch (meh) at the cinema and bought a new phone today. Very good alone day after yesterday's psychological warfare.