I think someone's been putting after shave in my coffee
When he makes the brews it always comes back with a vaguely after-shavy whiff and he has a bottle of after shave on his desk.
I just tried to compare the aftershave with my coffee while he was out the room. Inconclusive.
Thing is I thought he was a mate.
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maybe he resents that
he has to make up the fresh stuff for me when everyone else just has instant. But I do my fare share of drinks rounds.
yep. That'll do it
You need to take a shit in his coat pocket
Wait till he's at lunch, pick up the coat as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Go to the toilet, do the job, lay paper down if your aim isn't so good / the pocket is small so you can get it in with minimum fuss. Then return to the office and place it back as naturally as though it were your own coat.
If anyone claims that they saw you take the coat when the source of the smell is found, just cry and piss yourself so you can take the company through an industrial tribunal.
You can sell the story to a tabloid afterwards too, if you want a bit more money.
What kind of aftershave?
ralph lauren polo
not too cheap I guess. Maybe I should be flattered?
Well it could definitely be worse.
Smell and taste are closely linked - are you standing extremely close to him (perhaps even cuddling) while drinking it?
Just start really subtly
punching him in the face next time it happens?
I like him
and I thought he liked me.
Gonna confront him when he gets back.
but then he might punch you first when it all kicks off
i tried to help, see if i care.
Put coffee in his aftershave
Your only option, really.
Its like when girls at work spray their perfume on your coat or bag or at your desk when youre not there
so subconciously you smell it alot and then your mind cant work out the smell then when youve had a few drinks and smell them youre all like WHAT THE FUCK and end up boning them. He wants to bone you.
are we (men) REALLY that stupid? :(
You can't fight your subconcious
I dont think
Fight fire with fire
What have you got on your desk that you could put in his coffee?
Piss?
Why have you got piss on your desk?
Pissydesk.
this little interchange has made me nostalgic
lbc and s_punk talking togther
i imagine daves desk is either a maniacal pile of papers, IT books, lego and half full cups of coffee.
or disturbingly tidy.
actually the former is scarily accurate
there's even some lego bricks I found in my pocket
just put the tea spoon
in your pants, under your gooch for a few hours.
Then place it back, and decline the next round of coffee.
Maybe he loves you and is just engaging in office shabs and bants?
It's probably just beads of aftershavey sweat that have accidentally dropped in
Nothing to worry about.
prolly just rubbish at making coffee
and ends up getting his grubby after shave mits all over it
after shave
It's probably just the taste of washing up liquid
but any excuse for a coffee thread yeah? This place.
that's what he said
too musky for washing up liquid.
ha ha ha FUCK YOU
^that's what he's saying every time he does it
Better kill him and see if it still happens
He's rubbing your coffee mug on his body before making your drink.
We've all done it.
Coffee, Darling?
Probably just one of those things where he's very gradually poisoning you
Nothing to worry about
Just very gradually cure yourself.
what neutralises after shave?
I'll just sip on some of that.
Perfume?
You idiot
Just drink slightly more aftershave than he's giving you each day so you have a tolerance of it. You don't know where he is in the dosage so better just drink an entire bottle tonight to be safe.
Imagine the look on the guy's face
when he's at the stage of putting a whole bottle of aftershave in your coffee and it's having no effect on you. Also, he'd soon be bankrupt.
Good point.
You better be prepared to shift to less expensive brands as this drags on and his finances (and the increasing volumes required) dictate a shift down to Old Spice and the like. Keep an eye on those flavour changes
The guy might end up using dozens (LITERALLY DOZENS) of free sample bottles
in some kind of manic austerity drive.
If it tastes like some crazy aftershave cocktail, then you're approaching the end game.
I'm just chuckling to myself.
He thinks he's so smart yet what he doesn't know is that you're drinking bottles of aftershave in your spare time to thwart him. Random work poisoner 0 - zxcvbnm- 1
managed to not laugh until this one
lynx africa
usurps all other scents
text him
why you puttin aftershave in my coffee LOL
Real tactful.
Obviously zxcvbnm- is blind by this point. MAYBE he could get his wife to text his poisoner for him. Maybe. Just try and think before you post
if you'd come to the most recent coffee-squad assembly,
you'd have realised that coffee-lauren is so in right now.
he hasnt 'said' anything about it to you, has he?
I hope Rapscallion-Jones is taking notes.
give him a hand shandy and see what comes of it