Happy steak and blow job day!!1
Obviously we don't do enough for the men in our lives already that we are subject to giving them a blow job and a nicely cooked steak dinner.
When was the last time you had steak?
When was the last time you had/gave a blow job? (FAO of shinjers - doesn't count if she vommed on you)
(Anyone who celebrates this is an actual tool. I bet moker does)
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its thursday already?
Is this a thing? And I am not even doing the DiS meme here.
I am actually having steak tonight, which is funny. Not sure about the BJ, I'll check.
Apparently, its a thing.
I found out it was today from yesterday some guys going YEAH STEAK AND BLOW JOB DAY TOMORROW like they still get blow jobs from their miserable wives
:D
Steak - Last week
Blowjob - a disappointingly long time ago. My girlfriend has been having trouble with her jaw and can't open her mouth properly...
Likely story
I know it sounds a bit daft that she can't even get my button mushroom in
But it's true...
is that because of the last bj she gave you?
Happy Steak and Blow Job Day!!1
Or, Thursday Oral Sex Thread
probably just crack one off and then have a Rustlers
Happy DaddyorChips Day!!1
im not sure i have ever had a steak
and then a blowjob. i would very much like to.
not going to have either
Woohoo!
oh and both within last seven days.
living the dreeeeeam
Not a massive fan of steak tbh
steak is brilliant
I see it said all the time
I must be broken or something
Good steak is great, anything less is nothing special
Pairs well with oral in that regard
I had the best steak of my life about a year ago
since then, every other steak I've had is mediocre.
I feel the same way about a girlfriend I had when I was 17
upsetting
:)
It would be if it was true.
She did give excellent blowjobs, though.
Bamos doesn't care for blowjobs.
Is it bbq season yet?
I'll take mine bloody
And the steak medium rare, please.
every fucking day, sugar tits.
your fella still works at the Harvester?
nah, he works in the sewer.. every. fucking. night.
I'll collect mine when I get home from Kvelertak tonight.
Cheers.
^^ Romance:
Officially not dead.
Hmm...
you'll be up until 3am making a croquembouche for her
you husk of a man
I haven't had a steak for years, i think they are a bit overrated
last gave a blowjob on friday night / early saturday morning.
Well done.
its a day for virgins really isnt it
no one can truly celebrate this
it's a pretend day for miserable men
that watch top gear
Is that what your wife said?
she says that every day
I'm ashamed
This thread has made me really want steak.
apparently there's hot roast beef baguette for lunch in the cafeteria
that's probably as close to a steak as I'm likely to get today.
and a blowjob
foreveralone.jpg
See if you can get one of the cafeteria ladies
...to pop her teeth out and nosh you off.
I hate this day
What a load of bollocks.
The cleaner hasn't washed my protein shaker.
So I might have steak.
protein shaker
heh heh
:D
like the quarterback, Randall
do you get both at the same time?
like just rest the plate on the top of her head
something about special bearnaise sauce
:D best thread
Never been a big fan getting blow jobs
I'd rather have sex.
I'd also rather have a nice piece of roast chicken than a steak.
This day always seems a bit American and also - no really now - sexist.
Can't we have "share a nice roast chicken together then have sex" day? Much nicer all round.
Mr Sidney Poitier
I felt it was a bit rich to implicate you given she goes out with the exactly the sort of guy who'd think the idea hilarious.
Ok I didn't even see my name in the OP
Well, I suspect in part my reputation on here is a running joke and I doubt *most* people think I'm actually some woman-hater.
Especially the bitches and hoes.
I only mentioned moker as he is drownedinsound's resident sexist male
I thought this would be right up his street.
Again, that's my cartoon character reputation
which is don't mind, because yeah, I can laugh at myself yeah? Yeah.
*self harms*
Can just do both one after the other, really
You are allowed to have both you know
blow job and the sex
steak or blow job day is next month
This day always seems a bit American and also - no really now - sexist.
That's because it's a sexist american internet joke
can I just check what the consensus is regarding a blow job?
If you get some head during sex is that a blow job or is it only technically a real blowie if you're taken from a to z in the mouth?
Literally the least erotic way I've heard that described.
take me from a to z in your mouth baby.
A to Z?
Isn't it A to B?
You're trying to get from one place (non jizzy) to another (jizzy).
you guys should write a book.
A sexy book?
i'm not sure how sexy it would be, but sure.
Are you commissioning us?
Is there an advance?
Who will be in the photos?
I started out with A to B
Not sure why I changed it now.
Z is definitely a sexier letter. just look at it.
Z
A to Z is better
Because it implies beginning to end, which was the whole point.
point.
Yes, I remember now.
That's why I switched to Z.
B seemed somehow incomplete.
I don't want to have to finish myself off.
I want to go to Z.
In your mouth.
Baby.
(obvs not a real baby's mouth)
after careful consideration i have decided not to endorse your book.
Clever girl.
saps! You blew it!
(teehee)
You'll write the foreword though, won't you?
Just think of the sales boost.
au contraire.
Anyway I still need this confirmed.
Especially if I'm going to be writing a book.
Always thought blowjobs were overrated.
Can't remember climaxing from one anyway (irrespective of which of your mums was administering it). When i'm romancing one of my bevy of naturally-busty brunette beauties, <there's no way of saying this without it sounding wrong...> i'd rather just give her a bit of orals and simultaneously tug myself off.
You're welcome.
if chimps could dig for truffles I imagine it would look a bit like
this
You been getting head from Tulisa Contostavlos?
Oh wow.
That sounds...romantic.
See, I find that if you are going to go down on me
none of this 'tug yourself off' at the same time. Then you're just giving me half hearted attention and will no doubt lose your place.
something about listening to music whilst reading
Thought we were keeping this quiet?
I just couldn't take one more night of faking
I had to say something. I'm sorry.
I'd like to apologise on behalf of my mother, then
Sort of competent but not really oral is really, really frustrating.
Ooh, I had steak recently, but I can't remember when
Blow job...again. Recently but I can't remember when.
speaking of (kind of)
any developments on the girl crush?
:D I conversed with her on FB chat.
It was top line 'Hi, how are you' and then she had to go to work. It will be a crush from far.
you're fucking this up vicariously for me here
you need better opening lines or this'll never happen damn you :D
:D I need help coach!
clearly wait until your feed tells you she's attending something in London
and THEN jump in with "just seen you're going to that too!" and then what time are you getting there, we should have a coffee if you're not tied down to being with other people etc and so forth and so on.
You've got this M, come on. Believe.
:D She way too 'Indie' for me
THis is interesting insight into how men do it.
i mean i'm freestyling here but if there's little/no close connection you gotta make it count
haha you're even putting yourself down - she's outta my league man etc. This is brilliant
I'm embracing the testosterone.
Only thing is, don't think I could ever go through with any 'physical' thing. It' more like a playground crush. I wouldn't know what to do if she was all up in my grill. (so to speak) I could stretch to hand holding.
...
that'll probably do, to be honest. I'm good with hand holding. Let's do the convoluted comedy film approach where i have a headset and you have an earpiece feeding you lines
I have a new found appreciation for men though,
girls are not easy to chat too in a romantic capacity.
you lot are an absolute nightmare, tbh
if you were all the same it would be a lot more helpful. Can you send out a memo or something?
If she's already up in your grill
you're probably already doing something right.
But she knows you like men though, doesn't she?
I don't think she'd just jump up in your grill regardless of your current relationship/sexual preference.
it's like you're trying to brutally stab the possibility of this
:'(
You just want it to happen
on the off chance that they *might* get together and you *might* see them snogging in the corner of some dingy bar and therefore will fulfill your 15 year old fantasies of seeing two attractive women kiss nom nom nom
:D
it's the nom that's made it real for me
:D nom nom nom!
Well yes. I didn't say this was perfect.
Facial attraction. Not loinal. Like I said, I don't know what I would do if I was faced with boobs and a non bulging undercarriage.
loinal is a terrible word for anyone to use
Loinal Bleur
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2e/Lionel_blair_2010.jpg/220px-Lionel_blair_2010.jpg
Cook her a steak?
Suck her di... oh.
That hugely stalkerish.
Please do not do this.
shush meowington
your tastes are in men are massively anomalous, you can't be trusted. If they've chatted already on fb, it's fine. You're going to mess this up for me meo
I think you are getting off on this a bit too much
it's a little creepy
I think I am being more than a little tongue in cheek 'girl_on_film'
i also think it's less creepy than odd joke accounts ;)
just sayin'
You FB chatted her?
Its like you're 15 :D
Humiliatingly so.
Carol, get your shit together!
So THATS why you were slagging off her latest love interest. JEALOUS!
:D
Argh, she has squiff eyes! Just 'cause she has a trendy haircut and is an actual Lesbian.
last steak was around burns night
bj this morning
Literally cannot remember the last time I had steak.
I've never given a blowjob.
i've wondered
does the day imply that the giver of the blowjob (the blowjobor) also have to purchase and cook the steak for the receiver of the blowjob (the blowjobee) - or does it just imply that there will be a steak meal provided and blowjobs administered? I think there are plenty of women/men out there perfectly willing to give a blowjob if they know they will get a delicious steak dinner out of it.
The point is to spoil the man.
It's one month after Valentine's Day and is supposed to balance out the female focus of that.
So the blowjobber provides the steak.
are you offering?
I do make a decent steak
I'll take mine bloody
And the steak... oh, i see you've already made that joke
When's cake a cunnilingus day?
feb 14
ha ha
Dunno why I'm asking actually
Like rampant sexist, moker, I'd rather just shag. And Pringles are better than cake.
imagine having pringles with a cup of tea
it'd be strangely unsatisfying
I did this this afternoon
Part of me wanted to dunk them in my tea, the other pert of me felt disgusted for being in my dressing gown and eating Pringles at 2pm.
imagine having a partner
who didn't like giving head. why would you do that to yourself?
precisely because you parter wouldn't!
strong
You have to be if you're doing the back upside down against the wall technique.
that's why god invented prostitutes.
Oh I don't know
It could be something to do with a women not being your partner purely for the purpose of sucking your cheesy penis. Or that you might enjoy their company in a non-sexual capacity. Quite a few reasons really.
bit sexist
Bit shallow being disappointed in a girl for not enjoying something
and banishing her into singledom forever due to no man wanting a girl who doesn't like giving head. She might as well just die now as she's going to have no life without a precious man in it due to not liking a penis in her gob.
dunno why you're making this a gendered thing you weirdo
applies as much, if not more, to men
Hmm...ok
nothing to do with being banished into singledom forever
There are plenty of maladjusted weirdos here who claim to not like receiving blowjobs. Any one of those would be potentially sexually compatible with this imaginary lazy lover.
You do realise you're talking to a social board
where 90% of its members have imaginary girlfriends.
Nah most of them have girlfriends.
They just have imaginary sex lives.
So the lack of a blow job
is pretty standard.
Clearly this is a fantasy thread only.
hahah that's not a thing
uh oh..
I think when she gets in there'll be a steak on the grill
and I'll have no pants on
and then she tells you she's a vegetarian lesbian
Hot.
Apparently EVERYONE in works is getting steak and a blow job today
and I'm a horrible horrible person for not pre-planning a blow job and a steak dinner.
it's a bit like valentine's day, don;t you think
where the implication is that you're only really properly nice to each other for one day out of a whole year. I eat SO MUCH steak it's practically coming out of my ears, so I'm actually going having a bit of a break from steak today i think. Thank goodness you don't have to work with these eejits for much longer love.
Steak on Sunday, Non Vommy blozzer last thursday
Would have been last night but something bad happened so we just went to sleep.
Someone else ask.
They'd sold out of steak :(
Craig David's REALLY gone downhill
I'm holding out for
Haggis and a rimjob day.
Dinner?
Depends.
will it be haggis?
or as i call it
Tuesday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO1k2Y3o-iM#t=0m11s
big fan of today
got my student loan in, and my bank account is now in the positive for the first time in eighteen months.
... until tomorrow, when my rent goes out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_14#Holidays_and_observances
shows that it's actually Pi day
might make a steak and ale pie.
anyone got recipe recommendations?
Pi day cannot be observed in the UK
it sort of can
kinda
Nah
At least wait until the 31st of April
that day doesn't exist
like
americans go mm/dd/yyyy which is insane
but when you're naming files, anywhere, you should go yyyy/mm/dd
anyway, dont stop me making pie
maybe i'll just use an american ipa
yeah, i'll do that
right so i'm just going to make a stew and put a puff pastry top on it i guess
Im getting geared up for the ides of marcj
so no
Venison and a wank
Top class
My wife and I share the philosophy
that it's better to be romantic 364 days a year than just because everyone else says so on February 14th.
Imagine the fun I'm going to have persuading her that logic can be replicated with this new day of romance that you've just alerted me to.
you couldn't manage 365 though?
The last 5 years
our Valentine tradition has consisted of going bowling and getting a curry.
Simple, understated nothing special. Just an excuse to do something that's a bit of a laugh - because the first Valentine's Day we spent together, we were just friends and that is what we did.
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/c0.15.403.403/p403x403/599135_488340757882409_1588052289_n.jpg