dedicated thread for it
He's a flaming eye.
that's why hes the mouth of sauron
Or the nose of Sauron?
Man, for a demi-God he really got a raw deal.
also good for the skin, girls love that.
I've tried to placate her with rimming but she keeps wanting my cock up there. I'm not against it completely just think it's sexually overrated.
for her. Don't be so selfish. If she enjoys it she will be more willing to cater to requests you might have as well.
and start the strap-on jokes....... now!
and it's really tiring. Been together nearly 5 months and have never not had sex on a day we've been together usually multiple times. I think i'm gonna die soon.
Will introduce her to cat_race on sunday as proof at my first MME event
I'm so sorry.
she'll be delighted that whiskas knows all about her sex life before she even meets him.
I currently spell out the names of the 1966 England World Cup winning team on her clit but this is a bit samey. Should I use ice cubes? I also hear good things about Berocca.
Help me Fuzzy D, you're my only hope.
Different angle innit.
Or lick her from behind, you can put your nose in for a bit of something different.
Or just attack it like a dog would a bowl of water on a hot summer day
she'd be a bit weirded out. Might try it tonight
should a used condom put in the bin be hidden beneath something, or is it ok to just lay it across the top?
why not add some garlic and spices for a lovely jus
boil in the bag loveliness
Tissue is good, I think
didnt like throwing them away for some reason so he kept them all in a morrisons carrier bag under his bed. We found it one day and they'd all gone yellowy brown, a few had shrivelled up into raisin like shapes
i.e. would you like to come up to my room to see my collection of used profilactics?
I think the Morrisons bag gives it an extra dimension somehow
that is not a turn on
in which case im off to morrisons after work
-it was wrapped up and everything! and started throwing it around the landing. My dad told me my mum had to pick it up and put it in the bin. we haven't spoken about it...
who, for a few weeks during winter (we shared a room briefly before I moved out) the room had a weird smell. Anyway, the day I moved out, I was checking through some packets around the base of her bed - making sure there was nothing of mine in them. One was shoved right under the heater (which had been mostly on as it was winter). I opened the packet to be met with a full used condom, which had literally been cooking under the heater. I have never felt so ill in all my life.
i would never do that - it's gross!
where people roll around in dry food like ground coffee or banana Nesquik like chinchillas?
use moist cake as the dividing line.
mmmm look at all that horrible spum seeping out
I've got to do it for hours every day and sadly I can't maintain it for that long. Any help?
How to make the best of a bad situation?
this is a great thread and you're turning it into a joke
How do I make the best of a bad situation?
How make situation?
It'll never taste nice.
You could try not lapping up your own jizz you freak.
It's not nice, but I'm not bothered by it
Lots of it.
lemon juice, cinnamon, almonds, mint
Steer clear of spicy stuff like curry, and give fish (esp. tuna) a wide berth.
Oh, and good luck in finding a ladee that will take the taste challenge
My friends mate used to go through like 6 tins of pineapple a day because his girlfriend hated sucking him off. Think she still hated sucking him off though.
thread it onto his nob?
went on a 'second date' yesterday, with someone I really like. We got on well, had loads in common, plenty to say etc., but I just kind of sense that he doesn't feel the same about me and is too nice to say. Not really sure what to do next. Would appreciate advice from Proper Adults as I asked a mate and he told me to 'fucking grow a set'.
gotta play it cool and worm your way in there slowly
uni holidays start soon so that will either give us time to decide what we want, or make everything stagnant. We'll see.
You could just ask him what he thinks so far. That's not too heavy/weird is it?
Christ knows why I'm pitching in here. I know so little about this kind of stuff.
Yeah, I might do.
I feel very, very autistic posting this kind of stuff.
If these genuinely are dates then they're about seeing how you two get along and what you think of each other.
If you're still not sure, say midway through date no.3 then I'd think that was a good time to ask.
Help me out here guys.
Cheers! Bit of a whiny post from me but it has helped in the end.
worked for me
Like...i get certain costumes being aesthetically pleasing, sure, but being all /oooh officer can i do something to stop you giving me a ticket/ is a bit shit right?
ooooh. let me get a damp sponge and usb mini vacuum cleaner to 'fix' your 'keyboard' erm.....babe?
Suck it myself...
Can't say it appeals.
Don't think I'd be able to take it seriously.
but outside the bedroom there's loads id imagine. Ive never tried.
anything younger than that it's all about breath play and bondage
it might not seem fantastic at first. but put her on top facing you and everything gets awesome.
no way can anyone get through even two sentences of pretending to be a fireman without just laughing
1) Go out to the countryside (all good roleplays start with this step
2) Set fire to loads of hay in a circle*
3)have your partner go into the circle and call for help
4) Dress as a fireman
5) let them get a bit hot so you have to rescue them slightly
*Dont actually do this, farmers get irate
like, create danger situations for my gf, save her, then rut because of the drama of the save. I don't need to be a fireman for that? Also why the fuck would a fireman be out in a field without the rest of his team?
Hmm i'm going to need all my mates for this to work properly. and a van painted like a fire engine.
Give me a week.
Getting mates involved is an interesting angle though... :)
Or are they just extras? To make up the numbers of the whole fire team?
You can just kiss here, role-play doesn't need to be all about p going in a v.
Tie down a hotty so you can stop using them
I can't really tell the difference between Durex ultra safe and whatever the thinnest ones are, though, so I was never that bothered. Except that the free, non-Durex ones from the clinic were a weird, uncomfortable shape.
it's weird that you do at all, it's weird that it's her specifically or she's weird?
I get excited (not sexually) and nervous and then when she says hello, I do the classic stupid comment thing you do when you crush on someone. It's awful.
Is it Janie?
I can't imagine you going all nervous about it! Is she pretty or is it a personality thing??
I honestly never get like this. She once commented on a pic on FB and I was all:
and make dad jokes and she would just think I was odd. So basically, a DiSser std meet up. Which I could just relink a thread and change the names
Can you get stds just from sharing a coffee?
Or so I've heard.
Sounds about right
or a film, or drinks etc it's always fun to meet new people + if you know her better she'll probably make you less nervous.
win/win pretty much.
but she likes me to liquid twang in her gob
what should I do?
It'll work itself out.
lick up, spit in her mouth.
Becoz he only cums doggy style.
WhT DO TO DO SHE ASKS?
Is he putting his willy up her bum bum or her noon?
up her noon but there has been a few failed attempts for bum bum action too.
by putting it in their vagina.
he is probably homesick
might take a while for him to get used to it
Explains all, she said.
to know that moving from vigorous hand shandies to slaying hot puss means that orgasm can initially take longer.
30 secs is an achievement
" slaying hot puss "
It's quite a different (deep) angle and he can really go for it in that position. It can be hard enough (lol) to cross the finish line at all if there's a condom involved.
Or so I hear.
That he won't go anywhere near her without a condom on.
I don't think that sounds too healthy though. Surely a few dips without the rubber hat is okay before slipping on the plastic helmet?
Not getting any.
but all my best lines/pms are not working, what should I do?
Have a nice one millionth wank this week
I might try that :)
and depending on the content, you secure a date
She wanted me to send pictures of my face cock. I have not done this, yet.
Do their balls flap together?
I guess if a woman has it up the bum bum she might have the balls slapping her clunge, if it is doggy style...
I mean, I'm no expert, but nah. From personal experience, the old ballsack tightens up when I'm on the job - body's way of avoiding painful slappage
I'm pretty slow on the uptake.
probably won't be the last
and you fancy them too?
Bodybuilding psycho = X
Your boss = X
Your brother = X
Basically, if he lacks your wit, personality, financial clout, and you could have him in a fight then fill yer boots
about whether you want to get with a girl who will fancy other people when youre with them
you mean whether they will act on it
Thats more what I mean.
and sexual prowess to keep them from straying
She clearly has commitment issues. From experience, you're just asking for trouble. It's possible she just isn't getting enough attention from her boyfriend and likes getting it elsewhere too.
I wouldn't trust her at all. Obviously this is based on the info you've given us, it could work great and you could be just the guy she's looking for. Could be perfect. But for crying out loud, try not to fall for her only for her to back out. Be careful dude.
it could just as easily be that (as you say) she just isn't getting enough attention from her boyfriend. Relationships and emotions aren't simple things and sometimes we fall for somebody even though we shouldn't. Be a shame to miss out on what could be a good thing.
Simple answer is: TALK TO HER
Arf. Just made a DiS referential comment. Go me.
Stock answer should be "ditch the boyfriend, then let's talk".
Sounds like a new rape drug.
THANKS FOR THE TRISH
But unfortunately I've not been offered an OBE
anti-clockwise and clockwise swap
I have strong affectionate feeling for both my bicycle and motorbike
or should that be bike-curious?
for girls sitting on tables
but I see where you're going with this
Report this thread